Andrew Solomon: How the worst moments in our lives make us who we are

  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    May 21, 2014 5:23 PM GMT
    Andrew Solomon: How the worst moments in our lives make us who we are



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    May 21, 2014 6:30 PM GMT
    owl_bundy saidis it me or does he sound and look creepy as fuck? icon_neutral.gif


    He's a college acquaintance - super smart, decent guy. In other words, it's just you.
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    May 21, 2014 6:35 PM GMT
    Amazing speech, and so true! Adversities are a blessing if you learn and grow from them.
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    May 21, 2014 6:43 PM GMT
    showme said
    owl_bundy saidis it me or does he sound and look creepy as fuck? icon_neutral.gif


    He's a college acquaintance - super smart, decent guy. In other words, it's just you.
    So was Jeffrey Dahmer. Lmao.
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    May 21, 2014 6:49 PM GMT
    Ajjax said
    showme said
    owl_bundy saidis it me or does he sound and look creepy as fuck? icon_neutral.gif


    He's a college acquaintance - super smart, decent guy. In other words, it's just you.
    So was Jeffrey Dahmer. Lmao.


    Um, no. That was a completely dick statement.

    Jeffrey Dahmer was most assuredly not an Ivy League grad, award winnning writer, Pulitzer finalist, LGBT activist - or an all around good guy in any respect.
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    May 21, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    I can't stream that but, TED is awesome
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 21, 2014 7:52 PM GMT
    I totally agree... our worst moments really can show what we are all about. Very telling. Handling challenges can make us grow as men, however.
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    May 21, 2014 10:17 PM GMT
    *YAWN* What did Ernest Hemingway say? The world breaks most people and afterwards many are strong at the broken places...or something like that...icon_neutral.gif
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    May 21, 2014 10:33 PM GMT
    I do love TED talks and loved that one amazing guy he dose another very good one on depression to
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    May 21, 2014 11:03 PM GMT
    showme said
    Ajjax said
    showme said
    owl_bundy saidis it me or does he sound and look creepy as fuck? icon_neutral.gif


    He's a college acquaintance - super smart, decent guy. In other words, it's just you.
    So was Jeffrey Dahmer. Lmao.


    Um, no. That was a completely dick statement.

    Jeffrey Dahmer was most assuredly not an Ivy League grad, award winnning writer, Pulitzer finalist, LGBT activist - or an all around good guy in any respect.


    I'm sure he would've voted for Hillary.
  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    May 22, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    He is making an important valid statement. I wish that people would treat it with a little respectful maturity.
  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    May 22, 2014 12:13 AM GMT
    Snaz saidI can't stream that but, TED is awesome


    You might be able to listen to him here:
    http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_how_the_worst_moments_in_our_lives_make_us_who_we_are
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    May 22, 2014 1:21 AM GMT
    He's a smart guy—very insightful and sensitive. I saw him at a TED conference in DC, and he gave a great talk which centered on the themes of his book, Far From the Tree.

    http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_love_no_matter_what
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    May 22, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    That guy's a beautiful thinker.

    My only criticism might be something in line of what panda picked up on but I wouldn't give it that much emphasis because I think this guy did not a great job of qualifying that but well enough and was possibly constrained not to by his topic.

    This idea of adversity as some pinnacle of defining the soul. It's a little get off the cross we need the wood but there's also quite a bit of truth to it.

    The other conflict with that--particularly as he tried to relate the idea of whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger with the Buddhist concept of having adversity in life to have opportunities, for instance, to practice compassion--is this awkward sense of the duality of requiring bad for good when the ultimate though often esoteric Buddhist view is the hotdog joke make me one with, that is to say no difference between observer and observed, no duality.

    When that's presented as yet un-grappled, but rather so matter-of-factly it can come off as Hemmingway likely would have known though I don't recall that particular line but as Panda brings to mind, a tad mundane, this rationalizing of the horrible things of life.

    Here's a fact of life: bad is bad. There's no refuting that. Better to find benefit in bad than bitterness but that doesn't justify the bad because bad is still bad. To think of this transmutation of bad as good is a tool of thinking, not a reality, just as definitions of Nirvana are not Nirvana but may be roads that might lead in that direction.
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    May 22, 2014 3:10 AM GMT
    Thanks for posting. It touched deeply in view of what I went through this past year with my mother illness/assisted living and still trying to put all the pieces together with my family relationships in view of complex dynamics with my siblings.
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    May 22, 2014 3:46 AM GMT
    profound in many ways…. thanks
  • MichaelMz21

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    May 22, 2014 4:26 AM GMT
    I agree whole-heartedly with his statements. Climbing back up from your lowest moments is really what makes a person who they are.
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    May 22, 2014 5:17 AM GMT
    "God only gives us challenges we can overcome"
    tumblr_mcdeunrT5E1rig6tio1_500.gif
    But sometimes life will drop a piano on your head.
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    May 23, 2014 9:26 AM GMT
    owl_bundy saidis it me or does he sound and look creepy as fuck? icon_neutral.gif


    It's you.

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    May 23, 2014 12:14 PM GMT

    #beautiful.

    Thanks metta!
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    May 25, 2014 6:06 AM GMT
    He also did a speech about his bouts with depression. I'm glad someone totally gets what I'm going through.
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    May 25, 2014 8:08 AM GMT
    I like it!

    Caused me to reflect.....

    Bullied in school until I learned how to fight.

    Had a gay brother, who I only found out was gay 2 weeks before he was killed. I never got to tell him I WAS TOO.

    I was fired from a job because I am who I AM.

    Sexually harassed and it was ugly (got the dude fired from his high ranking job...lol)

    Accused of something that was completely false
    and had to defend myself...I DID AND WON!!

    Father told me to get the fags and niggers out of my house. Still haunts me (These guys were just my friends and roomies)

    Family disowned me for several years and are just now starting to talk to me. Things are different.

    ....and now the rest of the story?

    I survived it, made it and I am stronger and wiser!!!

    Don't give up.