Guys who want relationships with fitter guys.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2014 5:45 PM GMT
    What's up guys? I'm wondering about others opinions on this.

    I know how everyone has ''preferences'' and things of that nature. But what do you think about guys who will only date someone who is ''totally ripped'' or ''has an athletic swimmers body'' but they themselves don't workout much? and don't put in their own work on the body.

    I myself am pretty open minded about guys and what they look like. I have dated skinny guys, average guys, beefy, muscular, a little extra etc.

    But it really messed with me when i would go on a date with a guy. And he would complain ''i wasn't ripped enough'' or that my arms weren't muscular enough... or that my six pack wasn't visible enough. When they themselves were either very skinny, or average.

    They never really put in the work at the gym. Where as i was going everyday at the time. Now i go 6 days a week (importance of a resting icon_smile.gif) they were incredibly picky and judgmental of what other guys looked like. Yet never watched their diet... or worked out hard... or put in all the hours.

    I don't judge people on there lifestyles. Some of the guys I've dated weren't gym hounds like me and that's fine. But when they didn't even put in the work... but wanted some model looking dude it just seemed a little unrealistic.

    Any-who! that's something that always messed with me back in the day. And one of the reasons i haven't gone on a date in a long time icon_lol.gif cause it seems sometimes people have unrealistic expectations.

    Anyone else experienced this? what do you think about situations like this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2014 6:00 PM GMT
    There's also skinny guys out there (chasers) who like bigger guys.
    And bigger guys who want someone smaller than them.

    I guess it all comes down to fetshizing? I'm not sure.

    I don't really have an opinion on this.
    But, i think it's pretty hypocritical for someone to expect/demand something of someone that they can't live up to themselves.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 23, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    Yeah, some guys just feel entitled to possess another person's body... and they usually call you shallow if you reject them. smh
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    May 23, 2014 6:19 PM GMT
    ACRO_Slim saidThere's also skinny guys out there (chasers) who like bigger guys.
    And bigger guys who want someone smaller than them.

    I guess it all comes down to fetshizing? I'm not sure.

    I don't really have an opinion on this.
    But, i think it's pretty hypocritical for someone to expect/demand something of someone that they can't live up to themselves.


    True! there are chasers and things like that as well. I have ONCE been told i would look good if was fat icon_surprised.gificon_lol.gif

    I just think it's a little weird some guys do that. I know i put blood, sweat and tears everyday at the gym. And have been for the last few years. And i don't care if a dude i like isn't a gym junkie like me.

    I stay fit for life... not just a temporary thing to look good when young. And of course i want to be attractive to my partner when i ever get one. But if he told me to look a certain way... when he doesn't practice what he preaches. Would kind of kill it for me.
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    May 23, 2014 6:20 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidYeah, some guys just feel entitled to possess another person's body... and they usually call you shallow if you reject them. smh


    Ahh! this is rather true too icon_lol.gif

    I have seen dudes complain that some ''hunky jock'' said there not his type. When ole boy was really skinny or a little extra... but says he's only attracted to muscular jocks and won't date any other types of guys icon_confused.gif
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    May 23, 2014 7:10 PM GMT
    I like "fit", but they don't have to be "fitter" than me. I just want partners who care about their health because if we're going to be together, I don't want to be with somebody who is actively dying (e.g. smoking, drinking heavy, drugging).
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    May 23, 2014 7:47 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidI like "fit", but they don't have to be "fitter" than me. I just want partners who care about their health because if we're going to be together, I don't want to be with somebody who is actively dying (e.g. smoking, drinking heavy, drugging).


    I feel that is very reasonable. I myself have never actually smoked icon_surprised.gif and only drink once or twice a month. I don't care much if a guy i like it does it... as long as he's not drinking like a whole bottle of vodka a day icon_lol.gif

    I went on one date with a guy. And he asked me if i snort icon_lol.gif that was a bit of deal breaker there...
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    May 23, 2014 8:51 PM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 said

    But it really messed with me when i would go on a date with a guy. And he would complain ''i wasn't ripped enough'' or that my arms weren't muscular enough... or that my six pack wasn't visible enough. When they themselves were either very skinny, or average.


    The fact they're complaining would be enough for me to tell them to fuck off.
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    May 23, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
    TwisttheLeaf said
    lifeduringwartime23 said

    But it really messed with me when i would go on a date with a guy. And he would complain ''i wasn't ripped enough'' or that my arms weren't muscular enough... or that my six pack wasn't visible enough. When they themselves were either very skinny, or average.


    The fact they're complaining would be enough for me to tell them to fuck off.


    Oh yeah! that's a huge deal breaker. I mean, on the first date too!

    But i haven't been on a proper date in a long time. Dating a couple years ago scared me off from wanting to do it for awhile.
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    May 23, 2014 10:04 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidI like "fit", but they don't have to be "fitter" than me. I just want partners who care about their health because if we're going to be together, I don't want to be with somebody who is actively dying (e.g. smoking, drinking heavy, drugging).
    My dad's been smoking since he was 12 and he's now approaching 70. Smoking =/= dying.
    For crying out loud the guy's in better health than I am. Lol. Plus there's breath mints and it's not hard or expensive to go on Champx. The rest I agree with. Dealt with an alcoholic once and I refuse to go through that again.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    May 23, 2014 10:06 PM GMT
    I don't know, sounds like you date some assholes.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 23, 2014 10:56 PM GMT
    Pffff that guy is an ass! He was lucky to find a very kind man like you, and he acted selfish, spoiled and superficial. That kind of people are abnoxious, but dont worry, just be your sexy self ;)!
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    May 24, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    buddycat saidI don't know, sounds like you date some assholes.icon_rolleyes.gif


    It was usually a date. I never went on a 2nd one icon_lol.gif plus this was back when i wasn't out yet and used Okcupid. Dating online can usually lead to meeting weird people.
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    May 24, 2014 12:13 AM GMT
    silverwolf94 saidPffff that guy is an ass! He was lucky to find a very kind man like you, and he acted selfish, spoiled and superficial. That kind of people are abnoxious, but dont worry, just be your sexy self ;)!


    I don't agree with the sexiness part. But, thank you mr. wolf icon_smile.gif
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    May 24, 2014 12:33 AM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    But it really messed with me when i would go on a date with a guy. And he would complain ''i wasn't ripped enough'' or that my arms weren't muscular enough... or that my six pack wasn't visible enough. When they themselves were either very skinny, or average.


    Manipulators will try to make you insecure so that they can score with you.
    They make you focus on what they think about you, to avoid you starting to judge their worth ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2014 12:41 PM GMT
    I have never been on a date with with someone with a better body than me and I don't suppose I will in the future but when gay guys criticise the bodies of people who look better than them it makes me cringe.

    I have noticed that some people who come from a more traditional culture overseas sometimes think if they have a good job they can take their pick of guys, that might work for girls but not for guys at least where I live, the looks and personality are most important then wealth is a distant third.
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    May 24, 2014 3:04 PM GMT
    ACRO_Slim saidThere's also skinny guys out there (chasers) who like bigger guys.
    And bigger guys who want someone smaller than them.

    I guess it all comes down to fetshizing? I'm not sure.

    I don't really have an opinion on this.
    But, i think it's pretty hypocritical for someone to expect/demand something of someone that they can't live up to themselves.


    this. The guy I'm dating is really buff, usually I like athletic guys, but I really like him for his personality not so much his muscles. But yea he seems to like smaller fit framed dudes, I don't know if he's fetishizing or not, but he's really nice to me so I could care less either way.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 29, 2014 10:05 PM GMT
    Admittedly... I really do like beefy muscular guys. Obviously, they are bigger than me and back then, I really wanted to be with one but I didn't even work out. It was very hypocritical.

    But honestly, I like being smaller. I like being nimble and quick and I really don't want to have the body that I'm deeply attracted to. BUT I did make a compromise. While I may not want to become big and bulky, I did want to become more fit in the way I wanted to and so in 2012, I came up with my own workout schedule and followed suit. It's now 2014 and I was able to stick to my regimen. The only thing is that I don't workout in a gym, I workout at home but hey, it's better than nothing right? lol

    But I do understand what you mean. I mean, we all have our preferences and that's totally fine. But you have to realize that not every guy will be attracted to you, even if they are your type. It's kind of like someone who is overweight who is attracted to muscular or even slimmer guys. Or skinny guys who like muscular guys. It's okay to like what you like but just remember that you won't be everyone's type. I know I accept this.

    But I ask you, what do you think of guys who do workout/exercise but genuinely like their smaller frame or thicker frame who like guys who have different bodies than themselves? Do you think it's reasonable for like say, a skinny athletic guy who does workout to be attracted to a bulky worked out guy?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2014 11:06 PM GMT
    minox said
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    But it really messed with me when i would go on a date with a guy. And he would complain ''i wasn't ripped enough'' or that my arms weren't muscular enough... or that my six pack wasn't visible enough. When they themselves were either very skinny, or average.


    Manipulators will try to make you insecure so that they can score with you.
    They make you focus on what they think about you, to avoid you starting to judge their worth ;)


    I agree; it sounds like the guy who would outwardly complain to you about your body was a douche. Any partner that picks apart physical traits that they do not like about your body sounds like a partner not worth having. They should be the ones that make you feel good about your body, but that's just me.

    Aside from that, we all have our preferences. Speaking purely on the subjective scale of attraction, If a guy is a 3 and he's able to find and successfully date someone who is a 10, more power to him. The odds might be fewer but if he's able to pull it off, he's figured out how to work those odds.

    I too, think that there is something funny about heavier guys that complain about wanting to find a fit, athletic guy to date. If they can pull it off though, awesome-sauce.
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    May 30, 2014 12:32 AM GMT
    BloodFlame saidAdmittedly... I really do like beefy muscular guys. Obviously, they are bigger than me and back then, I really wanted to be with one but I didn't even work out. It was very hypocritical.

    But honestly, I like being smaller. I like being nimble and quick and I really don't want to have the body that I'm deeply attracted to. BUT I did make a compromise. While I may not want to become big and bulky, I did want to become more fit in the way I wanted to and so in 2012, I came up with my own workout schedule and followed suit. It's now 2014 and I was able to stick to my regimen. The only thing is that I don't workout in a gym, I workout at home but hey, it's better than nothing right? lol

    But I do understand what you mean. I mean, we all have our preferences and that's totally fine. But you have to realize that not every guy will be attracted to you, even if they are your type. It's kind of like someone who is overweight who is attracted to muscular or even slimmer guys. Or skinny guys who like muscular guys. It's okay to like what you like but just remember that you won't be everyone's type. I know I accept this.

    But I ask you, what do you think of guys who do workout/exercise but genuinely like their smaller frame or thicker frame who like guys who have different bodies than themselves? Do you think it's reasonable for like say, a skinny athletic guy who does workout to be attracted to a bulky worked out guy?


    I think it's pretty awesome honestly. I don't think it's a bad thing at all for guys of different body types to fall in love. I've gone on dates with guys who were skinny. average, athletic, a little extra, bulky etc.

    The thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the way they felt entitled to a certain type. A lot of it was from skinnier guys... who i went on dates with. They barely every worked out, save for maybe running or doing a little cardio here and there.

    Where as i work out 6 day a week, play sports, and have a good diet. But i wasn't totally ripped so they felt i wasn't ''worthy'' enough of there attention. See, that's where the issue comes in. If you don't even work hard on your body... and you feel entitled to someone who does. And in the process shun others for not looking to your ''standard of hotness'' seems kinda weird too me.

    As cliche as it sounds... personality really counts. I don't care if a guy is active to be honest. If he's a cool guy that's all that matters. If there a dick and treat others like shit for not reaching there standard. They will be lonely for a very long time icon_lol.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 30, 2014 2:00 AM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 said

    I think it's pretty awesome honestly. I don't think it's a bad thing at all for guys of different body types to fall in love. I've gone on dates with guys who were skinny. average, athletic, a little extra, bulky etc.

    The thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the way they felt entitled to a certain type. A lot of it was from skinnier guys... who i went on dates with. They barely every worked out, save for maybe running or doing a little cardio here and there.

    Where as i work out 6 day a week, play sports, and have a good diet. But i wasn't totally ripped so they felt i wasn't ''worthy'' enough of there attention. See, that's where the issue comes in. If you don't even work hard on your body... and you feel entitled to someone who does. And in the process shun others for not looking to your ''standard of hotness'' seems kinda weird too me.

    As cliche as it sounds... personality really counts. I don't care if a guy is active to be honest. If he's a cool guy that's all that matters. If there a dick and treat others like shit for not reaching there standard. They will be lonely for a very long time icon_lol.gif


    Well yeah, the "entitlement" thing is pretty bad. I mean, I may like bigger built guys but I don't believe I'm entitled to them. I feel that if one day, I can meet a guy who I'm physically and emotionally attracted to and the feeling were mutual, that would be heaven lol.

    That sucks that your dates picked you apart like that. That is very rude and you deserve better than that.

    I'll be honest, the only time I'm afraid that I get turned off from guys are those who are overweight. I don't ridicule or make fun of them, I'm just not physically attracted to them. I did try to change that but I failed as I just couldn't get passed it.

    And yeah, like you, if I met a guy who I physically liked but he had a gross personality, he becomes unattractive to me. lol
  • KittenpasteCo...

    Posts: 245

    May 30, 2014 3:04 AM GMT
    When I was growing up (even when my parents thought I was straight), I was always told that people want a partner that is their equal. They were usually referring to a person's career, aspirations and professionally-related junk.

    It's not wrong, in my eyes, to expect someone to also be a physical equal. It's not THAT hard to get out and go to the gym . Nothing says you both have to be gym rats, either. You don't have to have the same build. It just needs to be evident that you both care about your personal health and well-being and are actively pursuing betterment.

    I don't have time to go too deep into this but, in ways, it's easier on the relationship.
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    May 30, 2014 6:44 AM GMT
    Not to mention that when you do give these guys a go they whine at you for going to the gym when they want to do something with you. One of my exes would text me to say he was in a bar, when I messaged him back to say I was in the gym he would say "see you in 20 minutes". No you won't!
  • kew1

    Posts: 1595

    May 30, 2014 9:50 AM GMT
    Ohno saidNot to mention that when you do give these guys a go they whine at you for going to the gym when they want to do something with you. One of my exes would text me to say he was in a bar, when I messaged him back to say I was in the gym he would say "see you in 20 minutes". No you won't!


    I thought the correct answer was to tell him you'd sign him in and not to forget a towel.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 11:06 AM GMT
    If are a top with a fitter body and your bottom is skinny as sh*t , you can throw him on the bed, rip his clothes off and fu*k him kingdom come.

    That makes me hard.