I don't know why I feel like this

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2014 9:23 PM GMT
    I met up with this guy from Grindr last Friday. We went back to his house for sex, and since then I've just feel really low and horrible. I'm not into the whole NSA thing, and have only done it several times. Even then it was just "fun", with no intention of any serious developing afterwards.

    I don't know why it felt different with this guy. He's gorgeous and I think I like him, I don't know...


    Am I falling for him, or is this some sort of disgust in myself? I feel really confused right now.
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    May 25, 2014 9:41 PM GMT
    Hookups can make you feel like that, no big deal.

    If you think you like him then you should try and pursue something with him.
    But, if you're having sex every time you guys are hanging out, it might not turn into anything serious.
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    May 26, 2014 12:01 AM GMT
    You probably do like him (a lot) and are ashamed in yourself for giving it up so easily.

    It's okay. We've all been there.

    What you can do is learn from this. Instead of pursuing hook-ups, why don't you try pursuing something serious with someone, or date around and see where things take you? You could try to pursue things with the 'Friday' guy, as ACRO_Slim has already suggested, but in my experiences, situations like that don't usually have a very long shelf-life. Once the sex gets boring, it's 'on to the next one'.
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    May 26, 2014 12:45 AM GMT
    Sounds like you're just infatuated with his looks, and happy he was nice to you (in bed).

    Infatuation and affection are commonly confused with each other.
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    May 26, 2014 1:49 AM GMT
    Rolfron saidInstead of pursuing hook-ups, why don't you try pursuing something serious with someone, or date around and see where things take you?

    As always for Rolfron, great advice. Make yourself a commitment that you won't hit the hay with a guy until after 3 or 4 dates. It will give you both a chance to talk and really get to know each other beyond the bedroom.
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    May 26, 2014 1:55 AM GMT
    I might have another perspective, because something like this happened to me when I first met Gideon.

    Was the sex especially intense? I mean like not just physically but seriously hit-you-in-the-gut intense?

    It could be, if so, that you're going through a kind of withdrawal that in the D/s community is called a 'subdrop' or 'topdrop'.

    I experience them often with Gideon even when we are doing relatively vanilla-type sex. He has a habit of creating that intensity between us, and has ever since the first time we fucked.
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    May 26, 2014 7:38 PM GMT
    Great advice Rolfron!

    I've contacted this guy since, but I can tell I'm an inconvenience tbh. I thought we might even be friends.

    I wouldn't say the sex was intense, but he had a great body and looks.

    I really don't think the "fun" thing is for me any more.
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    May 26, 2014 10:17 PM GMT
    Well thanks! I've totally been there before, many times.

    Hooking-up is okay. If anything, at least it teaches you that that isn't who you want to be long term and that there is good merit to working on a serious relationship with someone. But those themselves are not easy, by any means. If you think you feel bad now, relationships may leave you feeling worse.

    They can also leave you feeling a million times better than the best hook-up that grindr can find you. That's the risk-reward and it separates the boys from the men.