Will/would/did you change your last name for your partner when/if you got married?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 1:14 PM GMT
    I don't know. I kinda think I would but then who knows!

    But, is it a bottom takes the top name, kinda thing? What about verse?
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    May 31, 2014 1:23 PM GMT
    My daughter's wife hyphenated their names.
  • creature

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    May 31, 2014 1:26 PM GMT
    I see no need to change my last name. Not even my mom changed hers.
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    May 31, 2014 1:37 PM GMT
    Well, we didn't, but I think we might have considered it if we had been able to get married when younger.

    At this point it would be such a pain in the ass to change bank accounts, credit card, passports etc., and I am known by my name professionally, that we haven't considered it.

    Lol at the bottom/top thing. There are lots of pushy bottoms who control things. Haven't you figured that one out yet? icon_razz.gif
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    May 31, 2014 1:38 PM GMT
    judgingyou saidno
    i don't understand why heterosexual couples do it either because it's based on the outdated idea that a woman becomes a mans property when they get married


    Hey daddy. icon_razz.gif

    At this point I think it's more about reinforcing the fact that you're each other's family now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 1:40 PM GMT
    I would hyphenate it.
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    May 31, 2014 1:43 PM GMT
    judgingyou saidno
    i don't understand why heterosexual couples do it either because it's based on the outdated idea that a woman becomes a mans property when they get married
    Well my mind set is mostly about children.

    My cousin did not take her name and her kids are confused about it cause they don't have her last name (Kids generally take the biological fathers name). Also having the same name in a family really helps take out the confusuion for medical issues and other stuff.

    That's my thought process, in the end.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 1:56 PM GMT
    No, he would take mine. I have an Italian last name and there's more oomph to say my last name compared to his.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 1:58 PM GMT
    Nope. What judgingyou said
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 1:58 PM GMT
    Before getting married we discussed it once, were both on the same page and never mentioned it again. We both kept our names. I didn't see any advantage, we will not gave any kids and the bureaucratic hassles seem huge.

    I can see your point when you are planning on having kids, but maybe talking to a straight couple with kids, who both kept their names helps too.
  • creature

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    May 31, 2014 2:06 PM GMT
    RadRTT said
    judgingyou saidno
    i don't understand why heterosexual couples do it either because it's based on the outdated idea that a woman becomes a mans property when they get married
    Well my mind set is mostly about children.

    My cousin did not take her name and her kids are confused about it cause they don't have her last name (Kids generally take the biological fathers name). Also having the same name in a family really helps take out the confusuion for medical issues and other stuff.

    That's my thought process, in the end.


    RadRTT,

    I want children too. Until you mentioned it, I never thought about what their last name would be.

    Since last names come and go, maybe you and hubby can start your own? You guys can make your present last names a middle name, and create a last name for you two and the kids to share.

    Edited to add:

    Where my parents are from, last names are never an issue. Your father's first name is your last name. And that's how it stays, even when you marry.
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    May 31, 2014 2:11 PM GMT
    Sharkspeare saidMy daughter's wife hyphenated their names.

    Wouldn't work with us, you know our names, we'd need a continuation sheet on fill-in forms. icon_eek.gif

    I don't think we'd change our names, and some straight women don't, either. Taking the husband's name in Western culture was once symbolic of a woman leaving her parents, and joining her husband's household. In some societies becoming his "chattel". The last name change can also make tracing generational relationships easier.

    Neither of those reasons would apply to us, and would only create hassles at this late stage of our lives.
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    May 31, 2014 2:28 PM GMT

    Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don't. The way the laws are in Canada, I can use Bill's last name whenever I want legally, and he can use mine, or we can use our own family last name, or we can put them together, his first or mine first. Cool, eh?

    The only thing we can't do is hyphenate them as that requires a name change through the courts.
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    May 31, 2014 2:31 PM GMT
    I think my daughter-in-law hyphenated because she wanted to symbolize the merging of the clans. Her family are terrific people, and all the machtunim* are crazy about each other.

    *This is a Yiddish word for which no cognate exists in English it means "the relationship between you and the parents of your child's spouse".

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 2:51 PM GMT
    creature said
    Since last names come and go, maybe you and hubby can start your own? You guys can make your present last names a middle name, and create a last name for you two and the kids to share.

    In medieval Europe most peasants didn't have a last name, only aristocrats and gentry did. The working class were known by their trade, and so you'd have John The Miller, Robert The Baker, Thomas The Smithy, and so forth. Since most people never traveled but a few miles from where they were born, it was adequate within the community.

    From this custom comes many English last names we have to this day: Miller, Baker, Taylor, Wright, Smith, Carpenter, Mason, Hunter, Fisher, Archer, Shoemaker, Cook, Farmer, and a long list more.

    Although these names are today considered ancestral in many families, they were once acquired at some point in the past. I therefore see no reason why a person cannot create their own name today. Except that in the US, at least, a name change requires approval through court petition, typically with the requirement to demonstrate a practical need, rather than being purely a matter of personal preference.
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    May 31, 2014 4:18 PM GMT
    the husbear and I kept our names the same. we just got hitched a little over a week ago. it was a topic of discussion for quite awhile for us, but ultimately decided to just keep it the same (it makes life really easy).

    besides, there's many other ways to devout your love to someone instead of changing your name.
  • Timbales

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    May 31, 2014 4:28 PM GMT
    We hyphenated our last names, his-mine. I was happy to do it.
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    May 31, 2014 4:39 PM GMT
    willular saidthe husbear and I kept our names the same. we just got hitched a little over a week ago. it was a topic of discussion for quite awhile for us, but ultimately decided to just keep it the same (it makes life really easy).

    besides, there's many other ways to devout your love to someone instead of changing your name.


    Congratulations

    Very cool
    How did your Mom take it? Was she there?


    I want to take his name, but mostly because it's at the beginning of the alphabet. He thinks it's silly but nearly cried when he found I've already been using it.
  • HottJoe

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    May 31, 2014 5:20 PM GMT
    Yup, I'm taking my fiancé's last name. We just went in and got our marriage license.icon_smile.gif
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    May 31, 2014 5:37 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidYup, I'm taking my fiancé's last name. We just went in and got our marriage license.icon_smile.gif

    Wow
    Congrats.
    Where?
    when?

    About time!

    Will you still publish under you're name?
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    May 31, 2014 5:42 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidNo, he would take mine. I have an Italian last name and there's more oomph to say my last name compared to his.

    And you're more dominating! Does he ever get a say in it? LOL Meanie!
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    May 31, 2014 10:47 PM GMT
    George Takei's husband took his last name. I thought it was interesting. I haven't seen or heard about too many gay couples taking on the last name of their partner.

    MC4opiy.jpg
  • Webster666

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    May 31, 2014 11:32 PM GMT
    I can't imagine ever changing my last name, for any reason.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 11:37 PM GMT
    If he had a super cool last name like 'Cage', 'Bond', 'Stryker', 'Maverick', 'Steel', or 'Winfrey icon_lol.gif', then yeah, I totally would take his last name.

    Otherwise, I would hyphenate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2014 11:41 PM GMT
    I would hyphenate the last name. I like my own last name. But yeah, this is something we'd have to talk about.