Permission to Play Devil's Advocate Denied

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    Jun 01, 2014 3:02 PM GMT
    Permission To Play Devil’s Advocate Denied
    Mallory Ortberg on October 2, 2013 in Ancient Grains, Humor


    Dear Applicant,

    Thank you for submitting your recent inquiry. According to our records, on September 27th, you interrupted a conversation with your request: “Look, if I could just play devil’s advocate for a second here…”

    It’s with very real regret that we must inform you that your petition to play devil’s advocate has been denied. Thank you for your interest in the devil’s advocate position; we realize that this is disappointing and would like to assure you that your candidacy was considered very carefully. As you know, we receive an overwhelming number of requests to play devil’s advocate every day, and while we would like to accommodate them all, we simply don’t have the resources to do so.

    We appreciate the effort and thought that went into your request to play devil’s advocate. Please know that your candidacy received serious, thorough consideration. For this reason, we will be unable to consider any appeals to our decision.

    Our records indicate that you have requested to play devil’s advocate for either “just a second here” or “just a minute here” over fourteen times in the last financial quarter. While we appreciate your enthusiasm, priority must be given to those who have not yet played the position. We would like to commend you for the excellent work you have done in the past year arguing for positions you have no real interest or stake in promoting, including:

    Affirmative Action: Who’s the Real Minority Here?
    Maybe Men Score Better In Math For A Reason
    Well, They Don’t Have To Live Here
    I Think You’re Taking This Too Personally
    Would It Be So Bad If They Did Die?
    If You Could Just Try To See It Objectively, Like Me

    It is our hope that future holders of the devil’s advocate position will be able to carry on your legacy: smiling as they argue for positions they only half-believe themselves with people who are attempting to discuss something sincerely and in good faith.

    We wish you the best of luck in your ensuing conversation and have every confidence in your ability to find something to talk about. We now consider this matter closed.

    All best,
    Devil’s Advocacy Group

    http://the-toast.net/2013/10/02/no-more-devils-advocate/
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    Jun 01, 2014 3:05 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Jun 01, 2014 3:07 PM GMT
    I meant to put this in News and Politics.
    icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 01, 2014 3:25 PM GMT
    Upper_Cdn saidI meant to put this in News and Politics.
    icon_lol.gif


    Do it! icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 01, 2014 3:36 PM GMT
    Didn't Al Pacino get the part already?
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    Jun 01, 2014 7:38 PM GMT
    LOL