Being Friends With an Ex? Is it Possible?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2014 10:02 PM GMT
    Is it possible to be friends with your ex?

    More of a general question rather than personal
    I've never been friends with an ex and I know there are many ppl that would say it's not possible to be friends with your ex and it just wouldn't work.

    Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2014 10:08 PM GMT
    Is it possible? Yes.

    Should it be decided on a case-by-case basis rather than popular opinion? Yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2014 10:27 PM GMT
    Yes. Unless you remarry someone insecure.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2014 10:36 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidIs it possible? Yes.

    Should it be decided on a case-by-case basis rather than popular opinion? Yes.


    Yes.

    /thread.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2014 10:44 PM GMT
    I'm friends with all my exes except one...the guy whose heart I broke. Oh well, you learn!
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    Jun 02, 2014 10:58 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidI'm friends with all my exes except one...the guy who heart I broke. Oh well, you learn!


    I guess that's understandable if u break someone's heart then perhaps it might not be possible.

    Tho to me being in a relationship is just not about being together sex etc but having feelings for each other loving each other.

    Giving all that, is it easy to be friends and maintaing that friendship?
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 02, 2014 11:02 PM GMT
    Of course it's possible.
    I know people who are friendly with their exes.
    But, not I...
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 02, 2014 11:20 PM GMT
    depends on the reason for the break-up, imo
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2014 11:27 PM GMT
    Being friends wih an X, yes it is possible..
    I was married for a short stint, and after things went there curse and she cheated on me well we got divorced, but I'm still friends with her and she knows that I'm gay.
    There's also my real x guy friend were still friends even though we dont do guy sex things anymore..
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    Jun 02, 2014 11:43 PM GMT
    Depends on if you were in deep love with them, or not, and why it ended, imo.

    I've been friends with most of mine. One, not so much- too many negative associations with that one, unfortunately.

    The rest weren't as deep, and there was no big personality traits that I grew to hate in them, so it was cool. In fact, in those scenarios, I like to keep the friendship alive if they're down with it too.
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    Jun 03, 2014 12:14 AM GMT
    Niemis said
    Erik101 saidI'm friends with all my exes except one...the guy who heart I broke. Oh well, you learn!


    I guess that's understandable if u break someone's heart then perhaps it might not be possible.

    Tho to me being in a relationship is just not about being together sex etc but having feelings for each other loving each other.

    Giving all that, is it easy to be friends and maintaing that friendship?


    For the other exes, we simply don't have any animosity towards each other. When I see them in person, I chat with them just like my friends and am not reminded of our previous relationship. I feel that what we shared was in the past and the past is something I choose not to dwell into.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2014 12:18 AM GMT
    I tend to bury my exes. Friendship would be inconvenient.
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    Jun 03, 2014 1:00 AM GMT
    theantijock saidI tend to bury my exes. Friendship would be inconvenient.


    How come? if u do to mind me asking?
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    Jun 03, 2014 1:05 AM GMT
    Erik101 said
    Niemis said
    Erik101 saidI'm friends with all my exes except one...the guy who heart I broke. Oh well, you learn!


    I guess that's understandable if u break someone's heart then perhaps it might not be possible.

    Tho to me being in a relationship is just not about being together sex etc but having feelings for each other loving each other.

    Giving all that, is it easy to be friends and maintaing that friendship?


    For the other exes, we simply don't have any animosity towards each other. When I see them in person, I chat with them just like my friends and am not reminded of our previous relationship. I feel that what we shared was in the past and the past is something I choose not to dwell into.


    What if ur ex kept reminding u of the past that u would rather wash away?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2014 1:08 AM GMT
    Yeah it's possible. Best to wait a year or so and have another relationship going before you try to be "friends."
    I'm friends (but not a close friend) with one of my ex's, but it was a couple years before we started interacting.
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    Jun 03, 2014 2:07 AM GMT
    Niemis said
    theantijock saidI tend to bury my exes. Friendship would be inconvenient.


    How come? if u do to mind me asking?


    Oh, no, not at all. They died. A séance? Ain't nobody got time for that.

    Actually two ltr's died, one x (the two yearer) might be alive (I had only three ltrs (2 + 10 + 10 years). I might be able to be his friend now but back in college after he dumped me? no fucking way. I've very definite trust issues.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Jun 03, 2014 3:19 AM GMT
    some of my best friends are exs. they also are good for sex when you are horny a decade later and you happen to be both currently single.
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    Jun 03, 2014 5:52 AM GMT
    Niemis said
    Erik101 said
    Niemis said
    Erik101 saidI'm friends with all my exes except one...the guy who heart I broke. Oh well, you learn!


    I guess that's understandable if u break someone's heart then perhaps it might not be possible.

    Tho to me being in a relationship is just not about being together sex etc but having feelings for each other loving each other.

    Giving all that, is it easy to be friends and maintaing that friendship?


    For the other exes, we simply don't have any animosity towards each other. When I see them in person, I chat with them just like my friends and am not reminded of our previous relationship. I feel that what we shared was in the past and the past is something I choose not to dwell into.


    What if ur ex kept reminding u of the past that u would rather wash away?


    Then you stay away from him because you don't need such toxicity in your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2014 11:42 AM GMT
    My best friend in the world is my ex. We have a wonderful friendship; he loves me, I love him (and his family), and I always will. I sometimes feel like a bad friend though, because I refuse to meet or even acknowledge the guy he left me for. It's been 5 years, so eventually Im going to have to, but Ive successfully avoided him thus far. icon_lol.gif

    But yeah, it's possible to be friends with an ex, if you had a friendship to begin with....
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    Jun 03, 2014 11:57 AM GMT
    In theory the answer should be yes. Clearly he had good qualities that attracted you to begin with. If you were in love, you made a connection that went much deeper than attraction.
    But if he dumped you the good qualities mean nothing and the deep connection was deeply betrayed.
    For the exes who dumped me the most I've been able to manage is a minimal bland phrase or two if we happened to run into each other. Those I dumped did the same.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 03, 2014 12:26 PM GMT
    I've been debating whether to reach out in friendship with the last guy I fell for. He broke my heart. He moved on to someone else within a month of ending things with me. Yeah, I probably shouldn't friend him.. but man, he's proving very hard to shake off my mind and heart. For the time being, no contact.
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    Jun 03, 2014 12:29 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidIn theory the answer should be yes. Clearly he had good qualities that attracted you to begin with. If you were in love, you made a connection that went much deeper than attraction.
    But if he dumped you the good qualities mean nothing and the deep connection was deeply betrayed.
    For the exes who dumped me the most I've been able to manage is a minimal bland phrase or two if we happened to run into each other. Those I dumped did the same.


    Interesting take on it. For me would matter the reason for the breakup.

    My 2-year college guy simply found a guy more sexually compatible (I'm totally not into anal sex) and left me for that. I've no problems with an open relationship to satisfy sexual issues, but I'm a huge fan of loyalty and I don't take easily to that being broken.

    When it didn't work with the other guy who he left me for, he did approach me again but I was still hurting so I was like get the fuck away from me. In retrospect, I realize he hadn't done anything against me specifically; rather, he was just trying to satisfy his sexual needs. So today I think probably I could be his friend. All his good qualities would remain intact and I remember very much why I liked him so much.

    But I've had other betrayals, not in partnerships, my other two guys were great, but in close friendships that I would never allow near me again having nothing to do with how I thought of them at the time of our relationship but having to do with the realization that they were never who I thought they were and that shit happens to people all the time.

    Because once someone betrays me, their action changes the past: they become someone who would always have betrayed me so had I known that then I never would have befriended them. I've only experienced actual betrayal of friendship a few times relative to the wonderful friends who have remained, some for all my years alive, but they scarred me deeply. When I think that I ever enjoyed those people, I get disgusted with myself and I vomit.

    Often traps appear to have good qualities.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2014 12:45 PM GMT
    i think it is possible to an extent. i do know after me and my ex broke up and the "hatred period" went away, we started to become friends again and even hang out to the point of feelings starting to develop again from both sides. but then i realized what initially caused our breakup and decided not to make the same mistake a second time.

    also, not sayin its a bad idea but you may want to consider that if you meet a guy and you tell him you and ur ex are best friends......that may not go over so well with him. just some things for you to think about.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2014 1:44 PM GMT
    I guess it is but my motto is

    "you'll never find your next if you keep responding to your ex" hahahaha maybe that's a little mean but it makes sense in a way...
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    Jun 03, 2014 2:01 PM GMT
    Everyone's unique...
    As others say, it depends on the people and
    the reason for the break-up...

    As far as i'm concerned, i don't know if i could.
    The only thing i could not tolerate for sure is
    that my ex goes with my worse enemy.