Youtuber: Ben Hobson

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    Jun 03, 2014 12:45 AM GMT
    Came out and has been making his decision more public everyday and the impact of that coming out. The vids are of him, the kids and some with his pretty all American ex-wife. All which she made him remove. Is it destroying or make him a better person to document his life this way?

    His ex-wife and her parents are not making it easy for him to be there for his kids and by de-fault for his ex.

    His last post Titled; "my ex-wife is controlling me" was crushing. It has since been deleted.

    Anybody else following his channel? Should she appreciate the fact that he came out now instead of 20 years into marriage? At 23 she has got 2 or 3 more all American marriages in her.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4PV4Vyluc8&feature=share&list=PLVt2pqs6zGD2Z3IEHcO5FcWFuE11_tau0&index=6

  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jun 03, 2014 1:15 AM GMT
    Private matters should be private. Not everyone should chronicle every up and down of their life, in particular those whose chronicling would implicate the privacy interests of their purported/former loved ones. A little class and sense of decorum goes a long way. I think he should not be putting his former lover and kids on blast in this manner. Just because something is, or should arguably be legal, doesn't mean it's right or should be done.
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    Jun 03, 2014 1:20 AM GMT
    We should go back to the 1950s when no one discussed anything and everything was perfect.



    Perfectly hidden.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jun 03, 2014 1:28 AM GMT
    Svnw688 saidPrivate matters should be private. Not everyone should chronicle every up and down of their life, in particular those whose chronicling would implicate the privacy interests of their purported/former loved ones. A little class and sense of decorum goes a long way. I think he should not be putting his former lover and kids on blast in this manner. Just because something is, or should arguably be legal, doesn't mean it's right or should be done.

    Yeah, I'm old school about all this. It is one thing to document one's life. It is quite another to make them public--and a spectacle.
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    Jun 03, 2014 1:44 AM GMT
    The video that followed the one posted, in which he dumps bottles of liquor down the drain, was painful to watch. icon_mad.gif
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Jun 03, 2014 1:51 AM GMT
    I'm sorry but how did his ex wife not know he was gay? Just scream gay in his videos.
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Jun 03, 2014 1:51 AM GMT
    this guy's ego is disgusting, too bad he doesn't understand how his selfish needs might affect his wife and kids
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    Jun 03, 2014 2:02 AM GMT
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3834896
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Jun 03, 2014 2:12 AM GMT
    owl_bundy saidmotherfuck him. seen his shit way before he started getting publicity on gay media sites on memorial day and was straight up disgusted at his whole attention whore attitude. obviously, there's other gay guys that are vouching for him but for all the wrong reasons. basically, they're thinking with their dicks because they find him hot so they feel sorry for him. yet if it were somebody else that was less attractive to them, they wouldn't give two shits.

    they don't care about the fact that he seems to be throwing all the people around him involved in his situation under the bus just to get 15 minutes of fame. he seems to be a douchebag that's full of himself. it seems like the wrong types of guys seem to be put on a pedestal in the gay male community. him, that other guy markemiller, davey wavey, the joey kid from the amazing race, and others.... the douche train. i'm not here to support guys that happen to be gay that seem to misuse the lgbt movement to support themselves and their narcissistic asses. it makes all of us look bad. there's already straight people that are looking at those dweebs as our representatives.



    This. Cosigned.

    This was kinda cute in 2005 when YouTube first came out, but how long do we have to watch and condone the tactics of fame whores? I'm sorry, I love my generation, but I readily credit that prior generation's "stars" were, in fact, stars. If I see another Kardashian, The A-List, or this latest guy, talent-less, hack, derivative wanna-be, mugging for the camera one more time I am liable to drink a bottle of vodka and drive into a concrete bridge bream. It's sad when I keep up with ALL the new shows and movies, but still the best came from the past. And don't start a "only the classics are kept, you haven't seen the dregs" line. I'll take the fashion dregs from the 50s, the music dregs from the 60s, and the movie dregs from the 70s over anything since my birth in 1983. I yearn for the days of substance, plot, character development, class and decorum.

    The problem before was that only a few had a voice, but at least all those with a voice were worthy. The problem now is that everybody has a voice, and 99% of them are unworthy, which drowns out the relevant, reasoned, substantive voices. Pick your poison, I suppose.


    This one was born in the wrong decade.
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    Jun 03, 2014 3:11 AM GMT
    Dafuq did I just see?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2014 3:13 AM GMT
    Svnw688 saidPrivate matters should be private. Not everyone should chronicle every up and down of their life, in particular those whose chronicling would implicate the privacy interests of their purported/former loved ones. A little class and sense of decorum goes a long way. I think he should not be putting his former lover and kids on blast in this manner. Just because something is, or should arguably be legal, doesn't mean it's right or should be done.

    The issue---and I mostly agree with you---is that the wifelet and kiddies didn't ask to have their private lives displayed over youtube. Daddy is showing no class, not for exposing his own life and decisions, but for involving them and violating their privacy.
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    Jun 03, 2014 3:15 AM GMT
    Svnw688 said The problem before was that only a few had a voice, but at least all those with a voice were worthy. The problem now is that everybody has a voice, and 99% of them are unworthy

    Succinct and well said.
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    Jun 03, 2014 3:41 AM GMT
    The former head of Canada's version of NSA just scolded Canadians for over sharing on the internet.
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    Jun 03, 2014 4:05 AM GMT
    shawnathan saidThe former head of Canada's version of NSA just scolded Canadians for over sharing on the internet.

    Bad Canadian! No maple syrup for a whole week!
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    Jun 03, 2014 5:04 AM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    ayer2009 saidCame out and has been making his decision more public everyday


    Narcissic attention whore - should feel right at home with his new citizen status in gayland. icon_lol.gif


    Ironically, all comments posted here are in disapproval.
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    Jun 03, 2014 7:11 AM GMT
    Sweetooth said
    silver_bullet said

    Narcissic attention whore - should feel right at home with his new citizen status in gayland. icon_lol.gif


    Ironically, all comments posted here are in disapproval.


    Sensing a little guilt and narcissism in here? I certainly am. There is truth to what silver_bullet has to say.

    It sounds like most of us feel guilty for wanting the same attention that this guy is getting. Everyone of us wants to be the hot, gay boy getting attention. That guilt offends our pride turns to contempt and "disgust"; you get what we have here, just a bunch of gays narcissistically putting down another gay. Ironically, the more we talk about him, the more attention he is going to get (I honestly haven't even heard of the guy until I've encountered this thread).

    To the original questions, I guess I see both sides here. I don't blame the ex-wife for feeling humiliated; it must be humiliating enough for a woman not to know that she's caught herself a queer, not to mention he's publicizing their lives on the internet. I'd be pissed too.

    On the other hand, it's hard for me to blame the guy completely. He just wants to be heard; he wants attention. Isn't that what we all want here? I can totally identify with the feeling of being trapped in the closet and having to keep most of your feelings private. Although I was smart enough to come out sooner in life, before marrying a woman and joining the air force (or whatever), and having children, it must be tough for the guy - having a channel on YouTube to and a fan-base following him might give him a sense of validation from people. Of course, there's the business end of it, but that's a whole different discussion. You don't have to like, love or follow his videos in order to see the humanity in the person.

    If anyone has any reason to think that gays are self-serving, "bitchy" and judgmental, it's attitudes like the ones in this thread. We pride ourselves as a community on equality, tolerance and acceptance but we have an awfully hard time doing that individually. I think we all need to try a bit little harder; we can do better.
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    Jun 03, 2014 12:51 PM GMT
    Rolfron said
    It sounds like most of us feel guilty for wanting the same attention that this guy is getting. Everyone of us wants to be the hot, gay boy getting attention. That guilt offends our pride turns to contempt and "disgust"; you get what we have here, just a bunch of gays narcissistically putting down another gay. Ironically, the more we talk about him, the more attention he is going to get (I honestly haven't even heard of the guy until I've encountered this thread).

    I honestly don't think that's the reason people dislike this. I don't think envy is the point here; certainly I don't envy this guy. Not everyone craves being a star. But in the age of the Kardashians, a lot of people are fed up with people becoming famous for being famous. And that drives reactions like these. My own objection (which I posted earlier) is that he has dragged his wife and kids into his drama---on the personal level that can't be helped---but they didn't ask to be part of his online show.
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    Jun 03, 2014 1:47 PM GMT
    ya i felt icon_sad.gifsorry for him, went through some of it myself.

    easy to have an opinion
    the single gay man
    married straight men in their own hateful relationship
    etc. / whatever


    positive side
    there is a lot more known on this now. Even in the last 4years there is more acceptance for gay men. Another generation will have their hand at this. I know there will be fewer mistakes.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14372

    Jun 03, 2014 1:51 PM GMT
    unfounded7 saidThe video that followed the one posted, in which he dumps bottles of liquor down the drain, was painful to watch. icon_mad.gif
    Whyicon_question.gif About the only thing good to do with alcoholic beverages is to dump them down the drain. Alcohol is a toxic poison that makes people careless, belligerent or violent when under the influence. Better that the liquor goes down the drain rather than into a human body.
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    Jun 03, 2014 3:20 PM GMT
    Sharkspeare said
    Rolfron said
    It sounds like most of us feel guilty for wanting the same attention that this guy is getting. Everyone of us wants to be the hot, gay boy getting attention. That guilt offends our pride turns to contempt and "disgust"; you get what we have here, just a bunch of gays narcissistically putting down another gay. Ironically, the more we talk about him, the more attention he is going to get (I honestly haven't even heard of the guy until I've encountered this thread).

    I honestly don't think that's the reason people dislike this. I don't think envy is the point here; certainly I don't envy this guy. Not everyone craves being a star. But in the age of the Kardashians, a lot of people are fed up with people becoming famous for being famous. And that drives reactions like these. My own objection (which I posted earlier) is that he has dragged his wife and kids into his drama---on the personal level that can't be helped---but they didn't ask to be part of his online show.


    I think Rolfron is both intelligent and empathetic which are great qualities in a guy. His observation may even be true for some guys, but I think saying that "most of us feel guilty" is a bit of a stretch here.

    I agree with RJ's resident underwater correspondent (and other posters in this thread) on this one. The well being of his ex-wife and kids should have had greater weight in his decision on how to move forward with his "vlogumentry".

    He seemed to be in a rush to tell the story of his coming out, and did not consider whether the ex and kids were really ready to be discussing this on line. It's obvious to me in the video he did with his wife and kids that at the very least, she was not ready to talk about her experience.

    He could have chosen to move slowly and cautiously with this story, but it doesn't appear to me that he is considering the impact on his family who are also victims in this sad story.

    I don't think he is a bad person, I just don't think he's making wise decisions at this time. I'm not casting stones because we have all made unwise decisions in our time, but hopefully we all had people in our lives who helped us to see the error of our ways.






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    Jun 03, 2014 3:30 PM GMT
    Rolfron said
    Sweetooth said
    silver_bullet said

    Narcissic attention whore - should feel right at home with his new citizen status in gayland. icon_lol.gif


    Ironically, all comments posted here are in disapproval.


    Sensing a little guilt and narcissism in here? I certainly am. There is truth to what silver_bullet has to say.

    It sounds like most of us feel guilty for wanting the same attention that this guy is getting. Everyone of us wants to be the hot, gay boy getting attention. That guilt offends our pride turns to contempt and "disgust"; you get what we have here, just a bunch of gays narcissistically putting down another gay. Ironically, the more we talk about him, the more attention he is going to get (I honestly haven't even heard of the guy until I've encountered this thread).

    To the original questions, I guess I see both sides here. I don't blame the ex-wife for feeling humiliated; it must be humiliating enough for a woman not to know that she's caught herself a queer, not to mention he's publicizing their lives on the internet. I'd be pissed too.

    On the other hand, it's hard for me to blame the guy completely. He just wants to be heard; he wants attention. Isn't that what we all want here? I can totally identify with the feeling of being trapped in the closet and having to keep most of your feelings private. Although I was smart enough to come out sooner in life, before marrying a woman and joining the air force (or whatever), and having children, it must be tough for the guy - having a channel on YouTube to and a fan-base following him might give him a sense of validation from people. Of course, there's the business end of it, but that's a whole different discussion. You don't have to like, love or follow his videos in order to see the humanity in the person.

    If anyone has any reason to think that gays are self-serving, "bitchy" and judgmental, it's attitudes like the ones in this thread. We pride ourselves as a community on equality, tolerance and acceptance but we have an awfully hard time doing that individually. I think we all need to try a bit little harder; we can do better.


    No. I would want attention for my talents or achievements, not youtube crap.
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    Jun 03, 2014 5:04 PM GMT
    creyente saidHe seemed to be in a rush to tell the story of his coming out, and did not consider whether the ex and kids were really ready to be discussing this on line. It's obvious to me in the video he did with his wife and kids that at the very least, she was not ready to talk about her experience.

    He could have chosen to move slowly and cautiously with this story, but it doesn't appear to me that he is considering the impact on his family who are also victims in this sad story.

    I don't think he is a bad person, I just don't think he's making wise decisions at this time. I'm not casting stones because we have all made unwise decisions in our time, but hopefully we all had people in our lives who helped us to see the error of our ways.


    Like I said on the other thread, my feeling is that sharing such experience--whether or not anyone thinks the guy has talent or not, an issue of no matter--is more good than bad as it works towards expanding consciousness, towards our awareness of ourselves and our condition, so any mishap here, to me, was a mere bump in the road on the right direction.

    Of the few moments I watched, it did look like the wife was uncomfortable, but I doubt this kid forced her to participate. And as to him playing with his kid in the part of a vid I saw, hey, that's his kid. Why would anyone have an issue with that? There might have been something horrible that I missed but all I saw in the few seconds I gave it was him dancing his kid on the vid. So what? It's not as if he circumcised his kid on youtube.
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    Jun 03, 2014 5:28 PM GMT
    creyente said

    I think Rolfron is both intelligent and empathetic which are great qualities in a guy. His observation may even be true for some guys, but I think saying that "most of us feel guilty" is a bit of a stretch here.


    Well first off, thank you icon_cool.gif .

    It's a stretch I'm willing to make. I honestly don't know why else some of these comments are so aggressive and hateful - I'm more disgusted with that than I am with this guy (certainly, if I had to choose...)

    Sweetooth said
    No. I would want attention for my talents or achievements, not youtube crap.


    Okay, maybe not the same attention, but attention, none the less.

    Sharkspeare said
    I honestly don't think that's the reason people dislike this. I don't think envy is the point here; certainly I don't envy this guy. Not everyone craves being a star. But in the age of the Kardashians, a lot of people are fed up with people becoming famous for being famous. And that drives reactions like these. My own objection (which I posted earlier) is that he has dragged his wife and kids into his drama---on the personal level that can't be helped---but they didn't ask to be part of his online show.


    I get that, but as I said, he's only getting more attention; more famous with the time we spend talking about him. If we truly hate people like these, the best thing we can do is ignore them. The more conversation they generate, the more attention they get, the more money they make.

    owl_bundy saidyou have a point but not me breh. the reason why i'm dissing the guy is because i think he's wrong for what he's doing. why would i be jealous of him for? there's nothing about him that is worth envying. he may be attractive but don't see how that means anything special or would make my life better. it certainly didn't help him.

    just because he's gay doesn't mean that i have to support everything somebody does especially if it's not right. if he wants attention or to do some youtube shit, that's fine . he just needs to stop using his kids and wife as a platform. there's plenty of guys that came before him that been there too.


    You're probably the biggest offender here icon_lol.gif . I read a lot of your posts on the forum, you make a lot of good points and most of the time, I get where your anger is coming from. But sweet Jesus, you are quite angry.

    This is oddly enough the only post that you've stressed to this degree the fact that he's using his ex wife/kids for attention, and I agree with you there. If you say that this is the only reason why you're hating on this guy, I'll take your word for it. Just seems like a lot of unnecessary hate coming out of nowhere to me.
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    Jun 03, 2014 5:49 PM GMT
    ^You're confused, and I am too irritated and indifferent to bother explaining to you the difference between him and a famous scientist or engineer, or philosopher etc. and why I am not 'Jealous'.
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    Jun 03, 2014 6:44 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    Like I said on the other thread, my feeling is that sharing such experience--whether or not anyone thinks the guy has talent or not, an issue of no matter--is more good than bad as it works towards expanding consciousness, towards our awareness of ourselves and our condition, so any mishap here, to me, was a mere bump in the road on the right direction.

    Of the few moments I watched, it did look like the wife was uncomfortable, but I doubt this kid forced her to participate. And as to him playing with his kid in the part of a vid I saw, hey, that's his kid. Why would anyone have an issue with that? There might have been something horrible that I missed but all I saw in the few seconds I gave it was him dancing his kid on the vid. So what? It's not as if he circumcised his kid on youtube.


    You love to disagree with me, admit it! icon_mad.gificon_lol.gif

    So perhaps the first sentence is a bit of stretch, but so is your interpretation of my post. icon_eek.gif

    I never said he should not share his thoughts and feelings, nor did I say there was a major transgression. From what I've seen his kids schmeckel seems to be safe from youtube voyeurs. icon_wink.gif

    I said he should have been more calculated on what and when to release.

    The video the OP has posted was a good start as it was innocuous and served his purpose.

    However, it's clear that his ex-wife was not ready for the video he made with her. I'm sure he did not physically force her to be in it, but that does not mean she was not guilted into doing it or even that she had a change of heart during the filming.

    Whatever transpired, once he viewed the video he should have realized that she was not ready to be a part of his vlog just yet and held off on this particular segment.

    On top of that, according to the op, he released another video about his ex-wife that he had to delete.

    ayer2009 said
    His ex-wife and her parents are not making it easy for him to be there for his kids and by de-fault for his ex.
    His last post Titled; "my ex-wife is controlling me" was crushing. It has since been deleted.


    It seems to me this guy is not putting enough thought into what he is releasing, which can have adverse affects to his life and the lives of others involved. It could also negatively affect how the courts view him, should custody become an issue.

    As I said before I don't think he is a bad person; I simply think his current state of mind may prevent him from making wise decisions where his vlogging is concerned.