What Would you do to Get a Relationship?

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    Jun 03, 2014 10:49 PM GMT
    I am improving my body and my face (used to show my face picture on rj, but not anymore) When I talk to guys I am very layed-back, I smile alot, talk nicely and calmly to them, and try to be confident and polite. I even dress nice and wear cologne. But however I'm never what any guy wants, I dunno if it's because I'm black, or slim (I'm trying to put on muscle) or what not. Some prefer ugly, mean, jerks over me who do nothing good for them WTF?! I want some advice on what I'm doing wrong or need to improve on, because if I keep getting rejected I won't be nice anymore and start showing my mean side. Not like Roger in Santa Barbara, but I'll be rude and disrespectful.

    What can I improve on other than my whole rejection issue?
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    Jun 03, 2014 11:15 PM GMT
    owl_bundyicon_lol.gif is it really that serious out here in these streets where it's a MUST to get into a relationship.


    I know I'm too serious about it, but I have a very long story behind it, that i'm not sharing with the world. But I have my reasons. I'd love to chill and let things happen if they happen if i want at least any little thing to happen i have to at least try to force it somehow...that's just the way things work for me.
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    Jun 03, 2014 11:37 PM GMT
    silver_bulletIf you are chasing after those types you have in your hot list then good luck cup cake. The reality is 97% of us will never ever ever get one of those.


    I hate the hottest dudes on hear, they're assholes and just give off all kinds of bad vibes. I'd never go for one of them. This is real life I'm talking about and I talk to guys of all kinds in any whatever.
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    Jun 03, 2014 11:38 PM GMT
    Owl bundy I wish I had your intimacy problem...how I'd love to trade...I hate having desires icon_cry.gif
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    Jun 04, 2014 12:06 AM GMT
    owl_bundyArmiger said
    Owl bundy I wish I had your intimacy problem...how I'd love to trade...I hate having desires



    dude, you wouldn't want that. the desires don't go away either. the only reason why i'm not that bothered is that i've become a bit more comfortable being by myself when there's not other people around even though there's some instances where that shit pops up... the sunday before memorial day, i was walking around in the damn woods.

    the one thing that was irking besides being alone in the woods for 2 hours completely lost with no fucking map, fucking up my gym sneakers, having to get my man vs. wild on going down some hills and trails and almost fucking myself up on top of all that, was seeing fucking couples walking up and down the main path. yes couples it was fucking unseemly. after all that crazy shit trying to keep my nerves calm, i find the main road and there's nothing but couples walking down the road holding hands, cuddling on the damn camp tables and shit. it was like the final blow to a disastrous time like WHAT THE FUCK!!! they were all looking @ me like "what are you doing here by yourself?" as if i didn't belong there that day. i was..... *sigh* getting jealous because one of the things that i have always wanted to do is was that. one of the things that i would LOVE to do if i had a boyfriend was to do what those couples did, stroll through the woods whether it's the morning, afternoon, or evening. that or going camping.

    but other than that, i'm not usually tripping.


    I know the feeling I can't stand seeing a couple, i have no idea why no one wants to do anything with me (I mean I had some things go on) but it's like I portray ideal but I'm not wanted...I don't know but I just wanna quit so bad but I know force is the only way things work for me because that's the only way I got those little things to happen for me, maybe temptation, but things happened...I hate the struggle.
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    Jun 04, 2014 12:24 AM GMT
    I wouldn't do anything but be myself. You have to feel confident about yourself and believe that you have good things to offer someone in a relationship, without changing yourself
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    Jun 04, 2014 12:31 AM GMT
    James_Thunder...I wouldn't do anything but be myself. You have to feel confident about yourself and believe that you have good things to offer someone in a relationship, without changing yourself


    I have the confidence and all the good things to offer, and I never changed myself for anyone and never will. I just want to know what is I do wrong when trying to pursue a relationship with another like coming on too strong or something.
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    Jun 04, 2014 12:37 AM GMT
    owl_bundyArmiger said
    owl_bundy
    Armiger said
    Owl bundy I wish I had your intimacy problem...how I'd love to trade...I hate having desires



    dude, you wouldn't want that. the desires don't go away either. the only reason why i'm not that bothered is that i've become a bit more comfortable being by myself when there's not other people around even though there's some instances where that shit pops up... the sunday before memorial day, i was walking around in the damn woods.

    the one thing that was irking besides being alone in the woods for 2 hours completely lost with no fucking map, fucking up my gym sneakers, having to get my man vs. wild on going down some hills and trails and almost fucking myself up on top of all that, was seeing fucking couples walking up and down the main path. yes couples it was fucking unseemly. after all that crazy shit trying to keep my nerves calm, i find the main road and there's nothing but couples walking down the road holding hands, cuddling on the damn camp tables and shit. it was like the final blow to a disastrous time like WHAT THE FUCK!!! they were all looking @ me like "what are you doing here by yourself?" as if i didn't belong there that day. i was..... *sigh* getting jealous because one of the things that i have always wanted to do is was that. one of the things that i would LOVE to do if i had a boyfriend was to do what those couples did, stroll through the woods whether it's the morning, afternoon, or evening. that or going camping.

    but other than that, i'm not usually tripping.


    I know the feeling I can't stand seeing a couple, i have no idea why no one wants to do anything with me (I mean I had some things go on) but it's like I portray ideal but I'm not wanted...I don't know but I just wanna quit so bad but I know force is the only way things work for me because that's the only way I got those little things to happen for me, maybe temptation, but things happened...I hate the struggle.


    yo... one thing though... even though from time to time i hate seeing couples, i don't feel as bad as i used to feel when i was in deep denial and wanted a girlfriend to simply "validate" my heterosexuality that was nonexistent. that shit was like... "how come every guy but me has a girlfriend?" was basically thinking that everything would be solved when i got a female to fuck me. nowadays, i don't even envy couples like that anymore because i know who i am and what's in me. i know i have the capability to feel genuine love, affection, and sexual attraction towards somebody. everything makes sense now. don't have to prove it by getting with just any guy for the hell of it just to have somebody to be partnered with or for a quick nut. when it does happen with whoever it may be, it'll be a wonderful experience so i'm not so desperate or in a rush to find out although i've never done it. i may not have a lot of money, be jobless, might not be the best looking guy, have my shit together, still working my way out the closet or whatever the fuck BUT i do know i have what it takes.

    i guess what i'm saying is that i know i can love somebody, have fun or whatever BUT i don't want to waste my time on somebody who doesn't want to value the time or can't see eye to eye with. i'm a patient guy though. not going to desperately get into something just to say that i have a boyfriend or to fit in. not looking for the one but i'm also not looking to get with just any guy that has a dick.


    I'm in college trying to get my life better but love and relationships I know for me can happen if I force (I know it sounds crazy but I am very unorthodox) if I hate it, I can always break up. But I guess I'm just with it for the ride, but I got other valuable things in my life that's not a relationship.
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    Jun 04, 2014 12:38 AM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    Armiger said
    silver_bulletIf you are chasing after those types you have in your hot list then good luck cup cake. The reality is 97% of us will never ever ever get one of those.


    I hate the hottest dudes on hear, they're assholes and just give off all kinds of bad vibes. I'd never go for one of them. This is real life I'm talking about and I talk to guys of all kinds in any whatever.


    So why have them, and ONLY them on your hot list?! icon_neutral.gif


    He hates that they don't want him back. The thirst seems to remain though. Such is life.

    *shrugs*
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    Jun 04, 2014 12:42 AM GMT
    OP: perceived desperation/emo-osity is never hot, if somebody can sense that in you, it can be a turn off. Be cool, confident and fix up whatever needs fixing up about yourself (create a list if needs be, then start ticking them off). Somebody will eventually respond to that.
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    Jun 04, 2014 12:43 AM GMT
    silver_bulletArmiger said
    silver_bullet
    If you are chasing after those types you have in your hot list then good luck cup cake. The reality is 97% of us will never ever ever get one of those.


    I hate the hottest dudes on hear, they're assholes and just give off all kinds of bad vibes. I'd never go for one of them. This is real life I'm talking about and I talk to guys of all kinds in any whatever.


    So why have them, and ONLY them on your hot list?!


    I just forgot to un-hotlist them, but I do not pursue men anymore on RJ period because it's mentally unhealthy. I prefer to pursue relationships in real life.
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    Jun 04, 2014 12:46 AM GMT
    _SAGE_OP: perceived desperation/emo-osity is never hot, if somebody can sense that in you, it can be a turn off. Be cool, confident and fix up whatever needs fixing up about yourself (create a list if needs be, then start ticking them off). Somebody will eventually respond to that.


    I don't present desperation, emo-osity, weakness, or anything negative in their face, I try to present the best person that can be presented, I am always aiming for flawless.
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:07 AM GMT
    Armiger said
    owl_bundyArmiger said
    Owl bundy I wish I had your intimacy problem...how I'd love to trade...I hate having desires



    dude, you wouldn't want that. the desires don't go away either. the only reason why i'm not that bothered is that i've become a bit more comfortable being by myself when there's not other people around even though there's some instances where that shit pops up... the sunday before memorial day, i was walking around in the damn woods.

    the one thing that was irking besides being alone in the woods for 2 hours completely lost with no fucking map, fucking up my gym sneakers, having to get my man vs. wild on going down some hills and trails and almost fucking myself up on top of all that, was seeing fucking couples walking up and down the main path. yes couples it was fucking unseemly. after all that crazy shit trying to keep my nerves calm, i find the main road and there's nothing but couples walking down the road holding hands, cuddling on the damn camp tables and shit. it was like the final blow to a disastrous time like WHAT THE FUCK!!! they were all looking @ me like "what are you doing here by yourself?" as if i didn't belong there that day. i was..... *sigh* getting jealous because one of the things that i have always wanted to do is was that. one of the things that i would LOVE to do if i had a boyfriend was to do what those couples did, stroll through the woods whether it's the morning, afternoon, or evening. that or going camping.

    but other than that, i'm not usually tripping.


    I know the feeling I can't stand seeing a couple, i have no idea why no one wants to do anything with me (I mean I had some things go on) but it's like I portray ideal but I'm not wanted...I don't know but I just wanna quit so bad but I know force is the only way things work for me because that's the only way I got those little things to happen for me, maybe temptation, but things happened...I hate the struggle.


    Wow,, if you re-read what you just wrote up there.. it sounds EXACTLY like what that guy in California said about seeing couples and how life was so unfair to him.
    Before he mowed how many peeps over and shot others in cold blood.
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:16 AM GMT
    To answer your question,,, what would I do to get a relationship. I'd say, put someone else's feeling ahead of yours for a change.
    Life is not always all about you and Your feelings. Learn to be a LOT more flexible.
    Be prepared to make some sacrifices of your time.
    Once you have mastered all that.. Put a Ring on it before someone else does.

    OR.. be forever alone.
    Just don't bitch about it, if you are not willing to do something about it.

    *Steps down off my soap box*
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:18 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoorArmiger said
    owl_bundy
    Armiger said
    Owl bundy I wish I had your intimacy problem...how I'd love to trade...I hate having desires



    dude, you wouldn't want that. the desires don't go away either. the only reason why i'm not that bothered is that i've become a bit more comfortable being by myself when there's not other people around even though there's some instances where that shit pops up... the sunday before memorial day, i was walking around in the damn woods.

    the one thing that was irking besides being alone in the woods for 2 hours completely lost with no fucking map, fucking up my gym sneakers, having to get my man vs. wild on going down some hills and trails and almost fucking myself up on top of all that, was seeing fucking couples walking up and down the main path. yes couples it was fucking unseemly. after all that crazy shit trying to keep my nerves calm, i find the main road and there's nothing but couples walking down the road holding hands, cuddling on the damn camp tables and shit. it was like the final blow to a disastrous time like WHAT THE FUCK!!! they were all looking @ me like "what are you doing here by yourself?" as if i didn't belong there that day. i was..... *sigh* getting jealous because one of the things that i have always wanted to do is was that. one of the things that i would LOVE to do if i had a boyfriend was to do what those couples did, stroll through the woods whether it's the morning, afternoon, or evening. that or going camping.

    but other than that, i'm not usually tripping.


    I know the feeling I can't stand seeing a couple, i have no idea why no one wants to do anything with me (I mean I had some things go on) but it's like I portray ideal but I'm not wanted...I don't know but I just wanna quit so bad but I know force is the only way things work for me because that's the only way I got those little things to happen for me, maybe temptation, but things happened...I hate the struggle.


    Wow,, if you re-read what you just wrote up there.. it sounds EXACTLY like what that guy in California said about seeing couples and how life was so unfair to him.
    Before he mowed how many peeps over and shot others in cold blood.


    I'm not going to kill people like the Santa Barbara shooter, I have better ways to deal with rejection than killing.
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:19 AM GMT
    Really, Like what? Trust me.. we've ALL been rejected in life before.

    Btw... never called either of you a killer. Just wanted you to think about the tone that Killer had in his video and about how Unfair it was that there were Happy people out there.

    *OMG Owl.. you must be busy writing a long one...*
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:24 AM GMT
    Careful
    You'll awake the alter(s).
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:24 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidCareful
    You'll awake the alter(s).

    I know, right?
    Release The KRAKEN!!!
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:27 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoorTo answer your question,,, what would I do to get a relationship. I'd say, put someone else's feeling ahead of yours for a change.
    Life is not always all about you and Your feelings. Learn to be a LOT more flexible.
    Be prepared to make some sacrifices of your time.
    Once you have mastered all that.. Put a Ring on it before someone else does.

    OR.. be forever alone.
    Just don't bitch about it, if you are not willing to do something about it.

    *Steps down off my soap box*


    I'd love to put someone else's feelings before mine, but I don't know if they'd do the same for me. I'd love to sacrifice time for them, but I don't know if they'll do the same for me or just abuse it all. Does putting a ring on it apply to Civil Unions or is it no different from marriage besides the benefits?

    I am trying to do something about being alone, but it's hard when you do everything you can to be attractive and nothing works.
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:29 AM GMT
    OMG... You wrote ONE word!
    I think I'm in shock.......................icon_eek.gif
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:32 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoorReally, Like what? Trust me.. we've ALL been rejected in life before.


    Other than being a b*tch to the rejector, I write stories about my life and that person (no details), cry, eat, and play video games.
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:33 AM GMT
    Armiger saidI am improving my body and my face (used to show my face picture on rj, but not anymore) When I talk to guys I am very layed-back, I smile alot, talk nicely and calmly to them, and try to be confident and polite. I even dress nice and wear cologne. But however I'm never what any guy wants, I dunno if it's because I'm black, or slim (I'm trying to put on muscle) or what not. Some prefer ugly, mean, jerks over me who do nothing good for them WTF?! I want some advice on what I'm doing wrong or need to improve on, because if I keep getting rejected I won't be nice anymore and start showing my mean side. Not like Roger in Santa Barbara, but I'll be rude and disrespectful.

    What can I improve on other than my whole rejection issue?


    OP, you're 19.
    U have plenty of time to get into a relationship that will most likely just end anyway, dont rush it. It'll happen.


    Don't be needy of thirsty. Just continue doing you and living your life the way that makes u happy and some hot guy will totes recognize that and wife u up.
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:34 AM GMT
    Armiger said
    TheGuyNextDoorTo answer your question,,, what would I do to get a relationship. I'd say, put someone else's feeling ahead of yours for a change.
    Life is not always all about you and Your feelings. Learn to be a LOT more flexible.
    Be prepared to make some sacrifices of your time.
    Once you have mastered all that.. Put a Ring on it before someone else does.

    OR.. be forever alone.
    Just don't bitch about it, if you are not willing to do something about it.

    *Steps down off my soap box*


    I'd love to put someone else's feelings before mine, but I don't know if they'd do the same for me. I'd love to sacrifice time for them, but I don't know if they'll do the same for me or just abuse it all. Does putting a ring on it apply to Civil Unions or is it no different from marriage besides the benefits?

    I am trying to do something about being alone, but it's hard when you do everything you can to be attractive and nothing works.

    If nothing works and you can't find someone suitable where you live, then I think you should look elsewhere in another city.
    Relationships are work. Sometimes Easy work with Big Benefits and sometimes Hard Work.
    Relationships are NOT for everyone. Sharky will tell you that.
    Some are much happier living alone and never see themselves in a relationship.
    I applaud those guys Sooo loudly, cause they Know who they are and what they want.
    It's like the choice of wanting Kids OR not wanting kids in your lifetime. You get to choose.
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    Jun 04, 2014 1:34 AM GMT
    silver_bullet saidIf you are chasing after those types you have in your hot list then good luck cup cake. The reality is 97% of us will never ever ever get one of those. icon_rolleyes.gif

    I think those old wrinklies meninlove and sharkspeare have had some success with Rohypnol, though. Maybe PM them for some guidance? icon_biggrin.gif



    ...except that you can't think. icon_lol.gif

    Armiger, do you really think being rude and disrespectful would work? I don't. The more people you meet and get to know a little, without looking for a relationship right off the bat, the higher your chances of meeting someone you click with, or the people you meet may know others you might click with.

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    Jun 04, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    silver_bullet saidIf you are chasing after those types you have in your hot list then good luck cup cake. The reality is 97% of us will never ever ever get one of those. icon_rolleyes.gif

    I think those old wrinklies meninlove and sharkspeare have had some success with Rohypnol, though. Maybe PM them for some guidance? icon_biggrin.gif


    Why do you bother to comment?

    you are fake fat and false.

    NO ONE will EVER want you.

    ever.