Think I'm gonna get dumped. Need advice please!

  • dj10001dj

    Posts: 21

    Jun 06, 2014 4:36 AM GMT
    Long story short - a guy I started dating just moved to Chicago and as it turns out I'm leaving Chicago for Nasvhille. We've only been dating for 3 weeks but it's been going really, really, REALLY well. I head out for Nasvhille in 3 weeks. Got a text tonight saying that he didn't want to go out tonight and needed time to think things through. We're going to meet up tomorrow morning for coffee. How do I convince him that it's worth the risk of long distance etc?
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    Jun 06, 2014 4:41 AM GMT
    dj10001dj saidHow do I convince him that it's worth the risk of long distance etc?
    You don't.
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    Jun 06, 2014 5:35 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    dj10001dj saidHow do I convince him that it's worth the risk of long distance etc?
    You don't.


    Unless you turn down the job in Nashville and stay in Chicago. THAT will speak louder than words.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 06, 2014 5:47 AM GMT
    IDK ... How does one feel when someone leaves them for a job? You live life once, and most things in life only come around once ... In the end, which are you most likely to regret, the guy that got away, or a job you didn't work ... Life is full of choices, you only find out the outcome of the one you choose.
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    Jun 06, 2014 6:13 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidIDK ... How does one feel when someone leaves them for a job? You live life once, and most things in life only come around once ... In the end, which are you most likely to regret, the guy that got away, or a job you didn't work ... Life is full of choices, you only find out the outcome of the one you choose.


    True this. I left a job for a guy and it was totally worth it for a few years.
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    Jun 06, 2014 7:56 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    dj10001dj saidHow do I convince him that it's worth the risk of long distance etc?
    You don't.

    +1

    Unfortunately, unless he wants to follow you or you want to stay - what more is there to talk about? It's simple mathematics.

    Unless he'd be into a long distance relationship - which doesn't sound very likely after only 3 weeks. You never know, though.
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    Jun 07, 2014 12:55 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    AMoonHawk saidIDK ... How does one feel when someone leaves them for a job? You live life once, and most things in life only come around once ... In the end, which are you most likely to regret, the guy that got away, or a job you didn't work ... Life is full of choices, you only find out the outcome of the one you choose.


    True this. I left a job for a guy and it was totally worth it for a few years.

    I left a job for a guy once and it was a total and complete disaster.

    Note that the OP and his bf have been dating for three weeks. Leaving a job for a guy you've known for three weeks verges on insanity.
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    Jun 07, 2014 3:00 PM GMT
    This move to Nashville sounds like a big mistake all the way around. First you commit to moving to a city you haven't even visited yet and are worried about the "dating scene" there, and now we find out you're leaving behind a guy whom you already click with. Do you always make such hasty decisions? And I'm not saying it's a good idea to cancel a move based on a 3 week date, but you just don't seem to plan things out very well.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jun 07, 2014 4:12 PM GMT
    Sounds simple to me. You've got a crush on the guy. He likes you but because the relationship is so new, he's unwilling to commit to a long distance thing. You make your move. You can't possibly be moving without it being a good career opportunity so do it. Then, the ball is in your court. If you really want to continue with this guy, then do it. Call him. Send him emails with pics of things you find interesting. Be sane and realistic. See what happens next.
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    Jun 08, 2014 4:09 PM GMT
    Lol tell him you love him and say I'll be back after pursuing my music career in Nashville. Gee 3 weeks and you're strung.
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    Jun 08, 2014 4:12 PM GMT
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    Jun 08, 2014 4:46 PM GMT
    dj10001dj saidLong story short - a guy I started dating just moved to Chicago and as it turns out I'm leaving Chicago for Nasvhille. We've only been dating for 3 weeks but it's been going really, really, REALLY well. I head out for Nasvhille in 3 weeks. Got a text tonight saying that he didn't want to go out tonight and needed time to think things through. We're going to meet up tomorrow morning for coffee. How do I convince him that it's worth the risk of long distance etc?


    Which the story, what the subtext?

    Careers with respect to relationships?

    Or manipulating influencing how another person feels?
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    Jun 08, 2014 8:26 PM GMT
    I think you just have to be honest about the spark you have towards him. It might do you a disservice to "convince" him to give it a go. but also respect why he might be hesitant to go forward with it. Hopefully he will be willing to go for it. best wishes