How to end a long Grindr conversation when the other guy turns out to be far less hot in his other pictures?

  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Jun 09, 2014 1:40 AM GMT
    Unless the guy's profile picture is unclear, I tend to avoid looking superficial and asking for more pictures when chatting up guys on Grindr.

    For a few days I've been really clicking with a cute guy who's face pic left little to the imagination... Or so I thought, until he asked me for more pics, and sent more pics of himself after I sent mine. It was still the same guy, but I was disappointed.

    I've always just ignored initial messages when I'm not interested, but this time I initiated the first contact, and I can't think of a way to end it without looking like a douchebag. Advice?
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Jun 09, 2014 2:53 AM GMT
    C'mon guys! I still haven't replied to him yet!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 3:13 AM GMT
    Is your sexual attraction based solely on physical features?
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Jun 09, 2014 3:26 AM GMT
    On a grindr chat, before the first in-person date, as long as they come across as sane, yeah.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 3:28 AM GMT
    theonewhoknocks saidOn a grindr chat, before the first in-person date, yeah.


    This is why I hate hookups. You could be missing out on a very hot and cool guy. So much of sexual attraction can be in the personality and mannerisms, and you get none of that through a photo. I always meet guys with no intention of having sex the first time; that way there's no pressure or obligation to have sex if they're not my type.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 4:09 AM GMT
    Say it with pictures.

    thumb.jpg
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Jun 09, 2014 4:25 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    theonewhoknocks saidOn a grindr chat, before the first in-person date, yeah.


    This is why I hate hookups. You could be missing out on a very hot and cool guy. So much of sexual attraction can be in the personality and mannerisms, and you get none of that through a photo. I always meet guys with no intention of having sex the first time; that way there's no pressure or obligation to have sex if they're not my type.


    It's not like I intend to have sex on the first, or even the 10th date anyway. But I have to find them physically attractive from the get-go for the possibility to be there for anything physical to happen in the future.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Jun 09, 2014 5:12 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidSay it with pictures.

    thumb.jpg


    And make sure you spell incorrectly so the other guy doesn't feel so bad when he discovers you can't even spell "you're ugly".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 1:59 PM GMT
    If your sure that you're no longer attracted to him, then let him know you have changed your mind - You don't have to give a reason. Why waste your time and his?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 3:24 PM GMT
    theonewhoknocks said
    Scruffypup said
    theonewhoknocks saidOn a grindr chat, before the first in-person date, yeah.


    This is why I hate hookups. You could be missing out on a very hot and cool guy. So much of sexual attraction can be in the personality and mannerisms, and you get none of that through a photo. I always meet guys with no intention of having sex the first time; that way there's no pressure or obligation to have sex if they're not my type.


    It's not like I intend to have sex on the first, or even the 10th date anyway. But I have to find them physically attractive from the get-go for the possibility to be there for anything physical to happen in the future.


    You're missing the point. If you think this guy is hot in all of his pics but one, why not just have a platonic coffee get together and see what he's really like?
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 09, 2014 6:25 PM GMT
    well you just don't reply that's how it works

    And youre right along with some fellow rJers that pic trading is mostly lame. With the pic I have on my profile there is no need for me to share more icon_smile.gif

    Dumb typical guys that say "anymore pics" lose credibility with me and morph into resembling sheep

    I only ask for more pics in a nice non generic way if a pic investigation is needed to determine cuteness

    DEAR all of GRINDR including myself : there are such things as bad photos! What a tragedy we are stricken with such vanity
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 9:14 PM GMT
    You just ignored him, if he doesn't get the hint, then Block him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 9:49 PM GMT
    After sending a couple of face pics and they come back with "anymore pics?", I know I'm about to be put under a microscope to be examined in detail. At that point I start ignoring them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 10:13 PM GMT
    theonewhoknocks saidUnless the guy's profile picture is unclear, I tend to avoid looking superficial and asking for more pictures when chatting up guys on Grindr.

    For a few days I've been really clicking with a cute guy who's face pic left little to the imagination... Or so I thought, until he asked me for more pics, and sent more pics of himself after I sent mine. It was still the same guy, but I was disappointed.

    I've always just ignored initial messages when I'm not interested, but this time I initiated the first contact, and I can't think of a way to end it without looking like a douchebag. Advice?


    Poster child for why gays are considered flakes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 09, 2014 10:58 PM GMT
    This is why I don't have an active Grindr profile (well, this and the fact that I'm currently seeing someone).

    Profile pictures, pictures, bio's, etc. can be very deceptive. I have been "catfish'd" more than enough times to be completely against using social networking apps/sites to meet people. I don't always fault people, sometimes I fault technology and the attitudes it brings with it. Of course it's superficial and inauthentic; it comes with the expectations of the app.

    When you're meeting someone in person somewhere, wherever that may be, there should be absolutely no confusion; you are meeting who you are meeting, you're speaking to who you are speaking to - not someone 'make-believe' or perceived any differently online (unless this person works for the CIA or is a compulsive liar). This is one of the reasons I'd advocate against Grindr.

    How I would solve the problem: Deleting Grindr and using other methods to meet people. I don't miss "grindr-ing" all day in the slightest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 10, 2014 12:17 AM GMT
    Funny. I once met a guy who was hotter than in his pictures, but turned out to have an unbearable gay lisp. Always meet in person asap lol.
  • doriangrey77

    Posts: 22

    Jun 10, 2014 7:53 AM GMT
    buddycat said
    paulflexes saidSay it with pictures.

    thumb.jpg


    And make sure you spell incorrectly so the other guy doesn't feel so bad when he discovers you can't even spell "you're ugly".


    Yes, yes, yes...oh, yes, and a hundred times YES!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 10, 2014 11:11 AM GMT
    theonewhoknocks saidUnless the guy's profile picture is unclear, I tend to avoid looking superficial and asking for more pictures when chatting up guys on Grindr.

    For a few days I've been really clicking with a cute guy who's face pic left little to the imagination... Or so I thought, until he asked me for more pics, and sent more pics of himself after I sent mine. It was still the same guy, but I was disappointed.

    I've always just ignored initial messages when I'm not interested, but this time I initiated the first contact, and I can't think of a way to end it without looking like a douchebag. Advice?


    You already are a douche bag. You just don't want to look like one...which makes you a double douche. Your a superficial judgmental prick!

    It could be one bad pic. But that's the one you choose to marginalize him as being inferior to you (where are your pics here?). He's probably a nice guy, leave him alone. He doesn't know what you are really like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 10, 2014 11:25 AM GMT
    gooddaytoday saidFunny. I once met a guy who was hotter than in his pictures, but turned out to have an unbearable gay lisp. Always meet in person asap lol.
    out right.

    That's true about 25% of the time. Another 25% are as stated. 25% are worse....the last 25% are flat out liars using old pics or even STOLEN pics.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 10, 2014 10:43 PM GMT
    Say that it was nice chatting to him but you have met someone else and you feel more of a connection with them. The more time that passes between the pic being sent and you sending that message, the more likely you are to be believed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 10, 2014 10:58 PM GMT
    Ohno saidSay that it was nice chatting to him but you have met someone else and you feel more of a connection with them. The more time that passes between the pic being sent and you sending that message, the more likely you are to be believed.


    So basically lie to him to not get his feelings hurt, hahaha you're evil but i like your approach. icon_eek.gificon_lol.gificon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 10, 2014 11:00 PM GMT
    unckabasa said
    theonewhoknocks saidUnless the guy's profile picture is unclear, I tend to avoid looking superficial and asking for more pictures when chatting up guys on Grindr.

    For a few days I've been really clicking with a cute guy who's face pic left little to the imagination... Or so I thought, until he asked me for more pics, and sent more pics of himself after I sent mine. It was still the same guy, but I was disappointed.

    I've always just ignored initial messages when I'm not interested, but this time I initiated the first contact, and I can't think of a way to end it without looking like a douchebag. Advice?


    You already are a douche bag. You just don't want to look like one...which makes you a double douche. Your a superficial judgmental prick!

    It could be one bad pic. But that's the one you choose to marginalize him as being inferior to you (where are your pics here?). He's probably a nice guy, leave him alone. He doesn't know what you are really like.


    LMAO, OUCH and OUCH !! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 10, 2014 11:25 PM GMT
    LAXWill10 said
    Ohno saidSay that it was nice chatting to him but you have met someone else and you feel more of a connection with them. The more time that passes between the pic being sent and you sending that message, the more likely you are to be believed.


    So basically lie to him to not get his feelings hurt, hahaha you're evil but i like your approach. icon_eek.gificon_lol.gificon_evil.gif

    Not evil at all, but the opposite. A polite lie is what etiquette sometimes requires if one is to be a decent human being.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 16, 2014 2:15 PM GMT
    Some guys don't take good pictures and are way hotter in person (my bf, for one). Plus, I've met some guys that weren't actually "my type", but got much better looking as the conversation progressed, and, vice versa.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 16, 2014 2:55 PM GMT
    strokeme220 saidSome guys don't take good pictures and are way hotter in person (my bf, for one). Plus, I've met some guys that weren't actually "my type", but got much better looking as the conversation progressed, and, vice versa.


    This is something so many gay men on this site and else where seem incapable of grasping. No wonder so many of them are alone and lonely.

    I laugh when I see the I can't find a man threads.