Struggling to Figure This Out

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2014 1:16 AM GMT
    Over the past few weeks, I have noticed that the guy I have been dating for the past 9 or so months has been more distant. He still gets around to checking in everyday via text (although later than in the past), but the conversations are much shorter. It is somewhat confusing and I have thought perhaps it was the slow breakup technique/gradual vanishing act. But why would he bother to check in at all? He does still want to see me on Friday nights (but I view that as hookup only territory). I'm just trying to figure out what this change is about--any thoughts would be appreciated!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2014 1:35 AM GMT
    It sounds like a heart-to-heart chat is needed to figure this out.
    Perhaps it's nothing but wondering about it won't give you answers.
    Talk to him.
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    Jun 11, 2014 1:49 AM GMT
    Yeah, I think you're right. Just such an awkward conversation.
  • mcc85clt

    Posts: 2

    Jun 11, 2014 2:55 AM GMT
    I have definitely been there, distance is a hopeless feeling that only seems to get worse especially when they haven't clearly said anything about negative feelings or breaking up. I agree the heart to heart conversation has got to happen...I told my last ex we needed to have one and halfway through the phone conversation he already knew what the outcome was going to be. What I don't understand is why guys choose to be distant instead of just communicating their feelings and reasons...
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    Jun 15, 2014 12:07 AM GMT
    Update. I just broached the topic today. He basically said he had so much going on in his life, and it was very stressful to have to try to figure out more time to see me. I dumped him.
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    Jun 15, 2014 2:40 AM GMT
    willocdh saidUpdate. I just broached the topic today. He basically said he had so much going on in his life, and it was very stressful to have to try to figure out more time to see me. I dumped him.


    Good for you. He wasn't into you. If he were, he wouldn't have come up with such a lousy explanation.
    Kudos to you, may you find someone who is more deserving of you
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    Jun 15, 2014 6:23 AM GMT
    Hable Con El(la)

    Talk to him...before it's too late.

    Otherwise...



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    Jun 15, 2014 8:03 PM GMT
    Blondizgd said
    willocdh saidUpdate. I just broached the topic today. He basically said he had so much going on in his life, and it was very stressful to have to try to figure out more time to see me. I dumped him.


    Good for you. He wasn't into you. If he were, he wouldn't have come up with such a lousy explanation.
    Kudos to you, may you find someone who is more deserving of you


    Thanks. It's annoying that he would be so passive about the whole thing. Just breakup with me...why string me along!
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    Jun 15, 2014 11:18 PM GMT
    willocdh said
    Blondizgd said
    willocdh saidUpdate. I just broached the topic today. He basically said he had so much going on in his life, and it was very stressful to have to try to figure out more time to see me. I dumped him.


    Good for you. He wasn't into you. If he were, he wouldn't have come up with such a lousy explanation.
    Kudos to you, may you find someone who is more deserving of you


    Thanks. It's annoying that he would be so passive about the whole thing. Just breakup with me...why string me along!


    That's the coward way out that most gay guy use. It's annoying but it is what it is.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 16, 2014 11:26 PM GMT
    I'm happy you came to a conclusion, even if it resulted in a breakup but at least you had the talk and got your answer. At least now, you can focus on your life and meeting someone else instead of worrying about this guy who wasn't even man enough to tell you upfront.

    I'm sure you'll meet a better guy. Stay strong. icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 23, 2014 2:41 AM GMT
    Update. We had coffee, and he basically said he could not give me the sort of commitment that I wanted and deserved, given his current schedule and issues. He made obscure references to maybe being ready in the future, and continuing to rely on me for emotional support/remaining friends. Is this just a game he's playing? Why would I want to be his friend?
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    Jun 23, 2014 3:48 AM GMT
    It's either he's really busy and into you (truth to what he's saying) or He's playing you for a fool (stringing you along as a back up guy until a hotter guy comes along). Lol, Well you already had the talk. I suggest that you should date other guys and back off, distance yourself from him. It looks desperate on your part to get back to him now. As for friends, Lol, that's just a fancy way of saying **I don't want to sleep with you *** past our sex-relationship phase. I know this because I always use this phrase when I want to dump someone **It's not you, it's me, I'm really busy, let's just be friends***. icon_evil.gif