For those on here with parents of two different races.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2014 4:21 AM GMT
    Sorry for making 2 threads tonight. But I'm in a talkative mood after work and the gym icon_smile.gif

    Did your family have any obstacles with being an interracial couple at all? mainly INSIDE the family dynamic?

    My mom is German and white as can be. My dad is Japanese and... well very traditional Japanese family. Both of them have families that are very traditional in how they go about their lives.

    There's a weird stigma of my dad being with a white girl. People always assume it's my mom who is Japanese... not my dad. And when they see it's my dad they act very freaked out icon_lol.gif

    My mom got pregnant with me at a young age (17, surprise baby haha) and my dads family was outraged. A Japanese man being a young father is heavily frowned apart for the most part. And we lived in a very rough, gang ridden area. Because at the time it's all they could afford. And a Japanese man not living well, working towards his college degree, or making lots of money is a huge disappointment to old Asian moms.

    They of course didn't dislike my mom or anything. But they felt that the ''German'' side of the family didn't care well enough about money or being young parents.

    Eventually they worked us out of that rough area. And are now both living out their dream jobs! it's crazy the obstacles they had with feuding families and cultures. But still managed to make it work.

    What about you guys? for the kids of interracial parents. or just parents of different cultures... did they ever face any strong obstacles within the families?
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:01 AM GMT
    My responses in GREEN.

    lifeduringwartime23 said...
    Did your family have any obstacles with being an interracial couple at all? mainly INSIDE the family dynamic?
    No. Although at the time when my parents got married 60 years ago in Florida, "interracial" marriage was illegal...but not for a "white" woman to marry a "yellow" man. Yes. My birth certificate has my father's race as "Yellow". I just snicker and shake my head.

    ...

    My mom got pregnant with me at a young age (17, surprise baby haha) and my dads family was outraged.
    Sounds like my family. Also, it was a short pregnancy...less than 4 months from the time my folks got married until the date of my brother's birth. I came along 11 years later.

    ...

    What about you guys? for the kids of interracial parents. or just parents of different cultures... did they ever face any strong obstacles within the families?

    Because both of my parents were away from their parents, there were no cultural pressurs to choose or conform to any other culture than that of South Florida and the United States of the 50's through today. My brother and I were fortunate in that we weren't burdened with any cultural expectations other than to be good, productive citizens.
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:06 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidMy responses in GREEN.

    lifeduringwartime23 said...
    Did your family have any obstacles with being an interracial couple at all? mainly INSIDE the family dynamic?
    No. Although at the time when my parents got married 60 years ago in Florida, "interracial" marriage was illegal...but not for a "white" woman to marry a "yellow" man. Yes. My birth certificate has my father's race as "Yellow". I just snicker and shake my head.

    ...

    My mom got pregnant with me at a young age (17, surprise baby haha) and my dads family was outraged.
    Sounds like my family. Also, it was a short pregnancy...less than 4 months from the time my folks got married until the date of my brother's birth. I came along 11 years later.

    ...

    What about you guys? for the kids of interracial parents. or just parents of different cultures... did they ever face any strong obstacles within the families?

    Because both of my parents were away from their parents, there were no cultural pressurs to choose or conform to any other culture than that of South Florida and the United States of the 50's through today. My brother and I were fortunate in that we weren't burdened with any cultural expectations other than to be good, productive citizens.



    WHAT!!!!! it has your fathers race as yellow? wow... that's... shocking. I realize it was a different time then. But, that's pretty extreme i think.

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    Jun 12, 2014 6:15 AM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    GAMRican saidMy responses in GREEN.

    lifeduringwartime23 said...


    WHAT!!!!! it has your fathers race as yellow? wow... that's... shocking. I realize it was a different time then. But, that's pretty extreme i think.



    You got it! It WAS a different time.

    At one point in my life I looked back and thought how wonderful it would be to be fluent in English, Chinese, and Spanish. For a while I wished that my parents had taught us their native languages. At one point I asked my mother and father why they didn't teach us their languages.

    Are you ready for this?







    Sit down.













    No, sit down ON THE FLOOR.





















    My parents told me that they didn't want either my brother nor me to grow up with an accent.
    icon_eek.gif

    They just wanted us to fit in. They didn't want us to be discriminated against.

    At first, I was a bit flabergasted, but then I realized that they made the best decision they could given the time and circumstances. It was South Florida in the 1950's and 1960's. There was no Civil Rights Act yet. Racial tensions were already high. The Immigration and Naturalization Act of 1952 was a mixed bag which blurred my father's ability to obtain citizenship on his own. My father is Chinese and at that time the People's Republic of China was considered part of "The Red Menace".

    My mother, who was born in Puerto Rico, had United States citizenship from birth, and can be argued to hold hold both Puerto Rican and United States citizenship.

    In the end, I came to accept the choice they made. What choice did I have? Choose to hold a resentment? No. They made the best choices they could under the circumstances and it all worked out ok.
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    Jun 12, 2014 7:38 AM GMT
    That seems like the best and most obvious solution to me. If you want your kids to do well you should raise them with the language of the country they were born in and where they're going to grow up, regardless of whether you're in the US, France, Sweden, Latin America, etc.

    As an example, there was a study where they correlated people's scores on the LSAT test with what language(s) they grew up with. People who grew up only speaking English did better as a group compared to the bilinguals or the ones who learned English later on. Languages are hard so specializing in one makes sense for getting a better grade on a test like the LSAT which is probably full of semantic nuances.