Does the gay scene cause you to self hate

  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 12, 2014 4:38 AM GMT
    For me it does I never really before had any problems with race in terms I sex and dating, but as soon I started getting into the gay scene I fouls myself more and more wanting to fit into that whole white/Caucasiod standard of beauty. Doing everything I can to try and fit into what the gay world considers to be beautiful

    I try and do so much and get really nothing then I end up self hating my self because I put it down to my race-being black. It's got to the point where I do not even feel ashamed anyone for saying in a public forum-I wish was not black and is opened about it

    Anyone from a minority background feel the same away
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    Jun 12, 2014 4:45 AM GMT
    No. What does gay scene even mean?
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 12, 2014 4:47 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]kevex said[/cite]No. What does gay scene even mean? [/quote

    Gay bars,clubs , saunas
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 12, 2014 4:50 AM GMT
    Liz-Lemon-Nope-Hipster-Nonsense-30-Rock.
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    Jun 12, 2014 4:56 AM GMT
    I don't venture much in the gay scene. But no one ever made me want to deny my being black.
    Sure I come across profiles that say "no blacks" or I get fetishized or assumed to be a mandingo but I value myself more than that and know how to avoid said people.
    I usually do get attention from a various racial crowd in general so I wonder if it has to do with where you live.
    Never deny your race buddy.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 12, 2014 4:57 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]BillyBrown said[/cite]I don't venture much in the gay scene. But no one ever made me want to deny my being black.
    Sure I come across profiles that say "no blacks" or I get fetishized or assumed to be a mandingo but I value myself more than that and know how to avoid said people.
    I usually do get attention from a various racial crowd in general so I wonder if it has to do with where you live.
    Never deny your race buddy.[/quote

    At this point I am starting to
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    Jun 12, 2014 4:57 AM GMT
    I don't venture much in the gay scene. But no one ever made me want to deny my being black.
    Sure I come across profiles that say "no blacks" or I get fetishized or assumed to be a mandingo but I value myself more than that and know how to avoid said people.
    I usually do get attention from a various racial crowd in general so I wonder if it has to do with where you live.
    Never deny your race buddy. Too much struggle and blood was shed for us to be seen accepted as equals
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:01 AM GMT
    Piles of anecdotal evidence suggests that the more time one spends in the gay scene, the more one's preference will shift to white, regardless of their own race.
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:03 AM GMT
    hentailover saidPiles of anecdotal evidence suggests that the more time one spends in the gay scene, the more one's preference will shift to white, regardless of their own race.
    And the more time whites spend in the gay scene, the more their preference will shift to everything but white. icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:07 AM GMT
    Learn to love yourself and to be the best you that you can be. You'll find guys who are attracted to the best you that you can be.

    Life is too short.
    Don't waste time hating yourself.
    There's a whole world of haters already out there who will gladly do that for you.
    "Live" for they can be irrelevant if you so choose.
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:09 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    hentailover saidPiles of anecdotal evidence suggests that the more time one spends in the gay scene, the more one's preference will shift to white, regardless of their own race.
    And the more time whites spend in the gay scene, the more their preference will shift to everything but white. icon_lol.gif


    No, apparently over time they realize their "market value" and raise their standards just for non-whites. That's why I don't shop in that market, no good deals there.
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:14 AM GMT
    hentailover said
    paulflexes said
    hentailover saidPiles of anecdotal evidence suggests that the more time one spends in the gay scene, the more one's preference will shift to white, regardless of their own race.
    And the more time whites spend in the gay scene, the more their preference will shift to everything but white. icon_lol.gif


    No, apparently over time they realize their "market value" and raise their standards just for non-whites. That's why I don't shop in that market, no good deals there.
    It's not about the market, it's about how you shop. Look for the ones who are looking for you. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:16 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    hentailover saidPiles of anecdotal evidence suggests that the more time one spends in the gay scene, the more one's preference will shift to white, regardless of their own race.
    And the more time whites spend in the gay scene, the more their preference will shift to everything but white. icon_lol.gif

    I can vouch for that. That gay scene has made me appreciate what beautiful and desirable men Asians, Blacks, and other groups can be. A hunky man is a hunky man, no matter what his skin color or racial features may be.

    The older I get the more I realize a hot man has no color or race. I wouldn't say my preferences have shifted to "everything but white", though, but rather my former preferences have become non-operative.

    Of course, the down side to my view is potentially disregarding the not-so-hot guys, who also deserve our attention. Who may, in the long run, offer more than the hotties. Hotness, after all, is fleeting. But I still don't see the issue of color or race being a factor any longer, hot or not.
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:23 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidIt's not about the market, it's about how you shop. Look for the ones who are looking for you. icon_wink.gif


    that's what OP is missing, proved when he referred to "what the gay world considers to be beautiful." as if we all want the same thing and it never changes. you're failing out, OP.

    i'll say it again: know your assets.
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:27 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    hentailover said
    paulflexes said
    hentailover saidPiles of anecdotal evidence suggests that the more time one spends in the gay scene, the more one's preference will shift to white, regardless of their own race.
    And the more time whites spend in the gay scene, the more their preference will shift to everything but white. icon_lol.gif


    No, apparently over time they realize their "market value" and raise their standards just for non-whites. That's why I don't shop in that market, no good deals there.
    It's not about the market, it's about how you shop. Look for the ones who are looking for you. icon_wink.gif


    But I like quality goods though, and village prices are too expensive. Anyway I've already bought what I wanted at the outlet mall.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 12, 2014 5:31 AM GMT
    JackBoneTX said
    paulflexes saidIt's not about the market, it's about how you shop. Look for the ones who are looking for you. icon_wink.gif


    that's what OP is missing, proved when he referred to "what the gay world considers to be beautiful." as if we all want the same thing and it never changes. you're failing out, OP.

    i'll say it again: know your assets.


    No not going for racial fetishists that is even worse
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:32 AM GMT
    Matthew56 said
    JackBoneTX said
    paulflexes saidIt's not about the market, it's about how you shop. Look for the ones who are looking for you. icon_wink.gif


    that's what OP is missing, proved when he referred to "what the gay world considers to be beautiful." as if we all want the same thing and it never changes. you're failing out, OP.

    i'll say it again: know your assets.


    No not going for racial fetishists that is even worse
    There's a huge difference between racial fetishists and people who honestly don't care about skin color.
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:36 AM GMT
    Matthew56 said
    JackBoneTX said
    paulflexes saidIt's not about the market, it's about how you shop. Look for the ones who are looking for you. icon_wink.gif


    that's what OP is missing, proved when he referred to "what the gay world considers to be beautiful." as if we all want the same thing and it never changes. you're failing out, OP.

    i'll say it again: know your assets.


    No not going for racial fetishists that is even worse


    anyone who likes you is a fetishist? icon_eek.gif
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 12, 2014 5:37 AM GMT
    No I mean those men that are heavily into black men
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:38 AM GMT
    Matthew56 saidNo I mean those men that are heavily into black men


    if they like you, they like you. you want people to like you. what's the problem?
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jun 12, 2014 5:40 AM GMT
    JackBoneTX said
    Matthew56 saidNo I mean those men that are heavily into black men


    if they like you, they like you. you want people to like you. what's the problem?


    Because it would be only for my race and those men that racial fetishize non white men are not really seen as attractive seen as racial rejects cannot do any better you get the gist
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    Jun 12, 2014 5:43 AM GMT
    Matthew56 said
    JackBoneTX said
    Matthew56 saidNo I mean those men that are heavily into black men


    if they like you, they like you. you want people to like you. what's the problem?


    Because it would be only for my race and those men that racial fetishize non white men are not really seen as attractive seen as racial rejects cannot do any better you get the gist


    yeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhh


    *steps back slowly*
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    Jun 12, 2014 11:14 AM GMT
    I kind of see the OPs point a bit. I don't think it's the gay scene its individual people that can make you dislike yourself a bit.

    In your case it seems it's individual men who rejected you that make you dislike yourself which is kinda silly to me. If I internalised the fact most guys don't want to know me I would hate myself even more than I already do. (hate is a strong word - I just don't like myself sometimes)
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Jun 12, 2014 11:21 AM GMT
    who cares what the gay scene thinks, regain your dignity man
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    Jun 12, 2014 12:32 PM GMT
    Matthew56 saidFor me it does I never really before had any problems with race in terms I sex and dating, but as soon I started getting into the gay scene I fouls myself more and more wanting to fit into that whole white/Caucasiod standard of beauty. Doing everything I can to try and fit into what the gay world considers to be beautiful

    I try and do so much and get really nothing then I end up self hating my self because I put it down to my race-being black. It's got to the point where I do not even feel ashamed anyone for saying in a public forum-I wish was not black and is opened about it

    Anyone from a minority background feel the same away


    Define "the gay scene" and "the gay world", as you perceive it. Also, detail what "I try and do so much" means. What are you "trying" and "doing" in this "gay world," exactly?