Afraid I'm becoming bitter & jaded...?

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 13, 2014 5:48 AM GMT
    I never thought this would happen to me but lately, I've been feeling some rather negative thoughts and pent up frustration. Luckily, ever since I started exercising more, I've been able to suppress it but

    I won't lie, some of it does come from the dating thing. Just constant rejection which I am very used to but a few days ago, I just started feeling this sort of negative energy. Like, I want to become a rude bitch for some reason. Like when I get contacted by "DL" or closeted men, I want to make them feel worthless. icon_eek.gif Or recently, some guy who deemed himself as "str8 acting" online insulted me for my lack of masculinity. I'm used to this when it happens but I don't know, I just wanted to go Stephen King Carrie on him. On that note, I don't blame anyone and I can accept responsibility but I still can't seem to stop these thoughts.

    And I guess it comes from my social life in general. I've been trying to make new friends for the past few months by being myself but nothing ever seems to work. I just feel like an alien to people, even those who I felt I could connect with. I feel like I want to just close myself from everyone. In fact, I wish there was a way I could try to force myself to get used to being content with being alone. I have been since I was 14.

    I don't know, I'm kind of scaring myself because I never thought I'd get into a psychological situation like this. Is this how some gay/bi men start the road to bitterness? I really want to avoid that but I'm finding it hard to combat these negative thoughts these days.

    I guess my question is, has anyone here ever felt something like this before?
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 13, 2014 8:45 PM GMT
    /i guess not..
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    Jun 13, 2014 9:07 PM GMT
    BloodFlame said/i guess not..



    go outside and walk that shit off like the masculine bitch that you are!









    kidding about the bitch part!
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    Jun 13, 2014 9:08 PM GMT
    BloodFlame saidI don't know, I'm kind of scaring myself because I never thought I'd get into a psychological situation like this. Is this how some gay/bi men start the road to bitterness?

    I'm inclined to think so. You can take many people from this forum for example that'll put-down/bash a particular type of person. My guess is that that aggression/rage/resentment comes from negative personal experiences of their own that they haven't ever gotten over.

    You have to get over these experiences that make you feel unworthy or inadequate. You are a person and you have every right to be that person; don't ever feel like you're not good enough. I don't mean to imply that it's an easy thing to do, but at the very least, it is a truthful thing. Once you make peace within yourself, the world around you suddenly makes a lot more sense and you'll become a lot more comfortable and aware in your environment.

    In short, don't take out your anger on these men for trying to make you feel guilty for being the person that you are; be happy with the person you are and don't let them make you feel anything but sorrow for their own disdain. Otherwise, you're quite the same as they are for wanting to attack and condescend them. Just know that they're the ones that haven't made peace within themselves; that is the problem, not you.

    BloodFlame saidI guess my question is, has anyone here ever felt something like this before?

    Of course; you're not alone by any means. A lot a people have frustrations in life that they never seem to conquer and defeat. That's life, though, learning how to overcome those frustrations and adapting to move forward.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 13, 2014 10:15 PM GMT
    JackBoneTX said
    BloodFlame said/i guess not..



    go outside and walk that shit off like the masculine bitch that you are!
    kidding about the bitch part!


    That probably would be best. If only it weren't so hot but I know what you mean.

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 13, 2014 10:21 PM GMT
    Rolfron said
    BloodFlame saidI don't know, I'm kind of scaring myself because I never thought I'd get into a psychological situation like this. Is this how some gay/bi men start the road to bitterness?

    I'm inclined to think so. You can take many people from this forum for example that'll put-down/bash a particular type of person. My guess is that that aggression/rage/resentment comes from negative personal experiences of their own that they haven't ever gotten over.

    You have to get over these experiences that make you feel unworthy or inadequate. You are a person and you have every right to be that person; don't ever feel like you're not good enough. I don't mean to imply that it's an easy thing to do, but at the very least, it is a truthful thing. Once you make peace within yourself, the world around you suddenly makes a lot more sense and you'll become a lot more comfortable and aware in your environment.

    In short, don't take out your anger on these men for trying to make you feel guilty for being the person that you are; be happy with the person you are and don't let them make you feel anything but sorrow for their own disdain. Otherwise, you're quite the same as they are for wanting to attack and condescend them. Just know that they're the ones that haven't made peace within themselves; that is the problem, not you.

    BloodFlame saidI guess my question is, has anyone here ever felt something like this before?

    Of course; you're not alone by any means. A lot a people have frustrations in life that they never seem to conquer and defeat. That's life, though, learning how to overcome those frustrations and adapting to move forward.


    I see. I just don't understand why it's in the budding stage now. Normally, I was able to handle things like this so it just seems a little... Sudden. Like some polar shift lol I don't want to become that type of resentful person so I'll try to find some way to cope and overcome. If only they made a pill that could take away all the negative feeling for the rest of your life lol
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    Jun 13, 2014 10:27 PM GMT
    JackBoneTX said
    BloodFlame said/i guess not..

    go outside and walk that shit off like the masculine bitch that you are!

    Tomorrow will be a cool day with a high of 94. (He's just outside of Vegas.)
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    Jun 13, 2014 10:40 PM GMT
    BloodFlame saidI guess my question is, has anyone here ever felt something like this before?
    Yep, it's normal. It's called a low point in life. We all have them, though few admit it. You can see it on internet comments sections (and forums)...snappy comebacks, insults, flame wars, etc.

    You're doing the right thing by talking about it openly. Rest assured the feeling will eventually pass if you keep a positive attitude about it. You have my best wishes. *hugs* icon_biggrin.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 13, 2014 10:46 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    JackBoneTX said
    BloodFlame said/i guess not..

    go outside and walk that shit off like the masculine bitch that you are!

    Tomorrow will be a cool day with a high of 94. (He's just outside of Vegas.)


    Yep, we've been in the triples lately so tomorrow will be a godsend for a nice walk lol.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 13, 2014 10:47 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    BloodFlame saidI guess my question is, has anyone here ever felt something like this before?
    Yep, it's normal. It's called a low point in life. We all have them, though few admit it. You can see it on internet comments sections (and forums)...snappy comebacks, insults, flame wars, etc.

    You're doing the right thing by talking about it openly. Rest assured the feeling will eventually pass if you keep a positive attitude about it. You have my best wishes. *hugs* icon_biggrin.gif


    I was very hesitant to post, believe me but I felt that if I just post anyway, it'll make me a feel a little better. And it has or rather, at least I feel some sort of relief venting. But thank you, I hope things continue to go well for you too.
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    Jun 14, 2014 1:59 AM GMT
    People keep talking about the gay community, but is there really such thing? Gays are really spiteful and sometimes I feel like they discriminate against their own more than straight people.
    I am so sorry you are feeling this way and had such a bad experience so far. Although it is not an easy lifestyle, there are people that care. They might not live close to you. But you just have to be patient, focus on your personal growth and always be open-minded. Words hurt only if you allow yourself to be hurt by them.
    My experience has been really different than yours. I guess maybe because I tend to fit most of the criteria somehow. But I always wondered why fem guys or people not gifted genetically were put down or even shunned. How can someone be REJECTED solely on the premises of being who they are?
    We are supposed to be accepting of each other since we are usually discriminated against by straight people.

    Be brave little man.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 14, 2014 7:38 AM GMT
    Rolfron said
    BloodFlame saidI don't know, I'm kind of scaring myself because I never thought I'd get into a psychological situation like this. Is this how some gay/bi men start the road to bitterness?

    I'm inclined to think so. You can take many people from this forum for example that'll put-down/bash a particular type of person. My guess is that that aggression/rage/resentment comes from negative personal experiences of their own that they haven't ever gotten over.

    You have to get over these experiences that make you feel unworthy or inadequate. You are a person and you have every right to be that person; don't ever feel like you're not good enough. I don't mean to imply that it's an easy thing to do, but at the very least, it is a truthful thing. Once you make peace within yourself, the world around you suddenly makes a lot more sense and you'll become a lot more comfortable and aware in your environment.

    In short, don't take out your anger on these men for trying to make you feel guilty for being the person that you are; be happy with the person you are and don't let them make you feel anything but sorrow for their own disdain. Otherwise, you're quite the same as they are for wanting to attack and condescend them. Just know that they're the ones that haven't made peace within themselves; that is the problem, not you.

    BloodFlame saidI guess my question is, has anyone here ever felt something like this before?

    Of course; you're not alone by any means. A lot a people have frustrations in life that they never seem to conquer and defeat. That's life, though, learning how to overcome those frustrations and adapting to move forward.


    says the guy that bashed me haha
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    Jun 14, 2014 4:40 PM GMT
    glowstik saidsays the guy that bashed me haha


    Listen, you had that one coming! I dont want to hijack this thread but I must've cringed after every sentence that you wrote, icon_lol.gif . I really didn't mean it to be resentful; it was constructive criticism, I thought at least (if you took anything super-personal, I'm sorry).

    OP, try taking a 'break' from talking to guys or putting yourself out there. Sometimes everything does get to be too overwhelming and you lose yourself/get caught up in the negativity of it all. Sometimes the most helpful thing is just taking some time to yourself to reflect and treat yourself to things that make you happy.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 15, 2014 5:26 AM GMT
    BillyBrown saidPeople keep talking about the gay community, but is there really such thing? Gays are really spiteful and sometimes I feel like they discriminate against their own more than straight people.
    I am so sorry you are feeling this way and had such a bad experience so far. Although it is not an easy lifestyle, there are people that care. They might not live close to you. But you just have to be patient, focus on your personal growth and always be open-minded. Words hurt only if you allow yourself to be hurt by them.
    My experience has been really different than yours. I guess maybe because I tend to fit most of the criteria somehow. But I always wondered why fem guys or people not gifted genetically were put down or even shunned. How can someone be REJECTED solely on the premises of being who they are?
    We are supposed to be accepting of each other since we are usually discriminated against by straight people.

    Be brave little man.


    Well the underlying truth of the matter is that at the end of the day, I have to learn to deal with the criticism I get. I'm not sure if you were saying you had a difficult time as well but nevertheless, I hope things continue to go well for you and thank you.

    Rolftron said OP, try taking a 'break' from talking to guys or putting yourself out there. Sometimes everything does get to be too overwhelming and you lose yourself/get caught up in the negativity of it all. Sometimes the most helpful thing is just taking some time to yourself to reflect and treat yourself to things that make you happy.


    I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for the advice. icon_smile.gif
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Jun 15, 2014 6:42 AM GMT
    Happens to the best of us. icon_lol.gif.
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    Jun 15, 2014 4:01 PM GMT
    you're awesome, just be yourself and people who are honest, genuine and real will accept you for who you are! don't try to conform and succumb to pressure by being someone or something you are not, because then you'll lose the essence of who you are and what makes you special. if someone can't accept you for who you, well that's their problem and not yours!
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 16, 2014 10:29 PM GMT
    talknerdy2me saidyou're awesome, just be yourself and people who are honest, genuine and real will accept you for who you are! don't try to conform and succumb to pressure by being someone or something you are not, because then you'll lose the essence of who you are and what makes you special. if someone can't accept you for who you, well that's their problem and not yours!


    lol Yeah, I always remember this at the end of the day. Thanks. icon_smile.gif

    Buddycat said Happens to the best of us. icon_lol.gif


    And that's when you hear the dramatic horns sound off lol.
    But I get you lol