Don't wanna F this up! but, I wanna ask him out again

  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 14, 2014 7:59 PM GMT
    Howdy doo guys,

    I had sushi witg a new great guy. I was amazed! He paid and I had my card out.

    I didnt know if he was into me. I think my evergy towards him was good but I couldnt tell the other way

    Anyways, on m way home he reached out texting me
    "Thanks for coming, I had a lot of fun"

    We texted back and forth a bit much but I tried to end on a high note and went out for a late night workout.

    I DID send him a snapchat from the gym of m profile flexing , that might have been a mistake?
    He just chat replied "Very nice"
    I said "Thanks stud, Im glad you had a lot of fun"
    No response ir comn since... Last night

    So anyways I wanna ask him out again, I was thinking for Fathers Day becauss he us estranged from his Dad for several years. (cute great guy is 19)

    i was thinking of texting him asking him if I could call him to ask him something


    Is this a bad idea
    Maybe he was just being nice? But we smsED abd snapchatted most of the 2 days before our date

    Should I lef things ferment?

    I dont wanna keep looking really so Im glad to stay off grindR if something might happen (rare chances I know)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2014 8:03 PM GMT
    Ask him out...d'oh...you lose 100% of the shots you don't take. (gretzky)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2014 8:04 PM GMT
    In these situations they might be just thinking about you. What I do is just chat them up and see if there is a spark.

    We all have that sense of crush. But sometimes it only goes one way at first. People are more likely to want to hang if there was something in common to chat about.

    I would make conversation center around finding common interests and not about hanging out.

    If it's purely sexual then maybe send a few more snap chats. icon_smile.gif
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 14, 2014 8:14 PM GMT
    bon_pan saidAsk him out...d'oh...you lose 100% of the shots you don't take. (gretzky)


    right right, but is me reaching out to him the next day coming onto strong or coming on "lesbian intensity/desperate" strong

    I will have to risk, because I dont know how he wills. Seems before Id fallen in love for the first time, I might have come across as wanting it to happen to much/desperate

    I cant let fear dictate what I do though
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2014 8:18 PM GMT
    glowstik said
    bon_pan saidAsk him out...d'oh...you lose 100% of the shots you don't take. (gretzky)


    right right, but is me reaching out to him the next day coming onto strong or coming on "lesbian intensity/desperate" strong

    I will have to risk, because I dont know how he wills. Seems before Id fallen in love for the first time, I might have come across as wanting it to happen to much/desperate

    I cant let fear dictate what I do though


    From experience, most people sit around waiting for the other guy to take the initiative...be that other guy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2014 8:20 PM GMT
    Maybe he just doesn't want a guy with a pussy between his legs. icon_razz.gif

    5c430a7919e9bf119bb1067f5f784f07.jpg
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 14, 2014 8:25 PM GMT
    cold call? or "hey there" text first?

    i got the confidence to do this guys but we need some tact!
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    Jun 14, 2014 8:30 PM GMT
    Just go for it and keep in mind that his reaction to whatever you do is not in your control. So just be sincere and you'll see how he is feeling ... whether it's what you want or not. Also, remember that you really don't know him yet ... maybe he's not a good match for you ultimately ... better to learn that now rather than later.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 15, 2014 9:40 PM GMT
    update : So i texted him "hey there" yesterday afternoon and got no reply

    Started moving on after awhile and chatting with new people

    And just NOW a day later: I get "Hey whats up"

    What would you do? WTF do I do? :/
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    Jun 15, 2014 9:43 PM GMT
    well on one hand you can ask him out and you have a 50/50% chance of getting a yes, or not asking him out, and you have a 100% chance you will never see him again. I hope this helps icon_smile.gif
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 15, 2014 10:11 PM GMT
    Thanks! that definitely does

    But he went cold the next day after our date...

    24 Hours it might be best to cut my losses

    I guess its pretty easy to ignore a "hey there" text but still...

    I'm thinking about texting him

    "Gee that was a late reply, you should have sent the message in a bottle;) ..."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2014 10:45 PM GMT
    glowstik saidThanks! that definitely does

    But he went cold the next day after our date...

    24 Hours it might be best to cut my losses

    I guess its pretty easy to ignore a "hey there" text but still...

    I'm thinking about texting him

    "Gee that was a late reply, you should have sent the message in a bottle;) ..."


    I'd give it a few days, and ask again, and be like "hey, I haven't heard from you in a while, just wondering if everything is okay?" then go from there. You don't want to sound too pushy with forced texts, if he's busy, give him some space, and let him catch up to his life, and if he's interested in you he will get back to you as soon as he can. Because if a guy want's to pursue anything they will, and I think that goes for any guy out there really.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 15, 2014 10:57 PM GMT
    glowstik saidThanks! that definitely does

    But he went cold the next day after our date...

    24 Hours it might be best to cut my losses

    I guess its pretty easy to ignore a "hey there" text but still...

    I'm thinking about texting him

    "Gee that was a late reply, you should have sent the message in a bottle;) ..."


    You really, really need to slow it down. You're moving way too fast. I can tell you're 19 because within a day of the date you were 'moving on' after he didn't reply to a text.

    Relationships don't happen instantly. No communication the day after a great date is a sign that both adults have lives and are letting things develop organically at a healthy pace. Don't be that chicken-headed gay guy wanting a boyfriend in two days and changing your Facebook status. A worthwhile relationship takes time to develop.

    And I sincerely hope you didn't sent that last message.. 'cause that text screams 'Desperate!'
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 15, 2014 11:18 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    glowstik saidThanks! that definitely does

    But he went cold the next day after our date...

    24 Hours it might be best to cut my losses

    I guess its pretty easy to ignore a "hey there" text but still...

    I'm thinking about texting him

    "Gee that was a late reply, you should have sent the message in a bottle;) ..."


    You really, really need to slow it down. You're moving way too fast. I can tell you're 19 because within a day of the date you were 'moving on' after he didn't reply to a text.

    Relationships don't happen instantly. No communication the day after a great date is a sign that both adults have lives and are letting things develop organically at a healthy pace. Don't be that chicken-headed gay guy wanting a boyfriend in two days and changing your Facebook status. A worthwhile relationship takes time to develop.

    And I sincerely hope you didn't sent that last message.. 'cause that text screams 'Desperate!'


    Hey Thanks Varus!

    And I certainly didn't send it

    You're right I guess I do crave and miss the energy of texting and snapchatting a bunch the two days before we met.

    Now that that is gone I feel the absense of it and wonder if he is moving on. I would think he has probably moved that energy somewhere else... because he likes snapchatting.

    Now we're in the text game. I don't really like it and yeah I am more sensitive and more open to insecurities because I actually liked him
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 15, 2014 11:24 PM GMT
    glowstik said
    PR_GMR said
    glowstik saidThanks! that definitely does

    But he went cold the next day after our date...

    24 Hours it might be best to cut my losses

    I guess its pretty easy to ignore a "hey there" text but still...

    I'm thinking about texting him

    "Gee that was a late reply, you should have sent the message in a bottle;) ..."


    You really, really need to slow it down. You're moving way too fast. I can tell you're 19 because within a day of the date you were 'moving on' after he didn't reply to a text.

    Relationships don't happen instantly. No communication the day after a great date is a sign that both adults have lives and are letting things develop organically at a healthy pace. Don't be that chicken-headed gay guy wanting a boyfriend in two days and changing your Facebook status. A worthwhile relationship takes time to develop.

    And I sincerely hope you didn't sent that last message.. 'cause that text screams 'Desperate!'


    Hey Thanks Varus!

    And I certainly didn't send it

    You're right I guess I do crave and miss the energy of texting and snapchatting a bunch the two days before we met.

    Now that that is gone I feel the absense of it and wonder if he is moving on. I would think he has probably moved that energy somewhere else... because he likes snapchatting.

    Now we're in the text game. I don't really like it and yeah I am more sensitive and more open to insecurities because I actually liked him


    And this is when you need to bring your 'strong game'. Don't text day. Get busy. Hang with friends or relatives. Get busy with school, hobby or project. Give it three days. If there's no sign of him in 3 days.. then send a funny/non-committal text and see if he responds. If there's no response to that text, then cut your losses.. but don't 'burn the bridge'; he might come back in a week or two and then you can debate whether to continue the connection.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 15, 2014 11:48 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    glowstik said
    PR_GMR said
    glowstik saidThanks! that definitely does

    But he went cold the next day after our date...

    24 Hours it might be best to cut my losses

    I guess its pretty easy to ignore a "hey there" text but still...

    I'm thinking about texting him

    "Gee that was a late reply, you should have sent the message in a bottle;) ..."


    You really, really need to slow it down. You're moving way too fast. I can tell you're 19 because within a day of the date you were 'moving on' after he didn't reply to a text.

    Relationships don't happen instantly. No communication the day after a great date is a sign that both adults have lives and are letting things develop organically at a healthy pace. Don't be that chicken-headed gay guy wanting a boyfriend in two days and changing your Facebook status. A worthwhile relationship takes time to develop.

    And I sincerely hope you didn't sent that last message.. 'cause that text screams 'Desperate!'




    Hey Thanks Varus!

    And I certainly didn't send it

    You're right I guess I do crave and miss the energy of texting and snapchatting a bunch the two days before we met.

    Now that that is gone I feel the absense of it and wonder if he is moving on. I would think he has probably moved that energy somewhere else... because he likes snapchatting.

    Now we're in the text game. I don't really like it and yeah I am more sensitive and more open to insecurities because I actually liked him


    And this is when you need to bring your 'strong game'. Don't text day. Get busy. Hang with friends or relatives. Get busy with school, hobby or project. Give it three days. If there's no sign of him in 3 days.. then send a funny/non-committal text and see if he responds. If there's no response to that text, then cut your losses.. but don't 'burn the bridge'; he might come back in a week or two and then you can debate whether to continue the connection.



    Thanks PR_GMR ! you're really helping me see the forest beyond the one cute tree. I definitely got a narrow vision unfortunately when it comes to matters of the gay heart
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2014 2:01 PM GMT
    Did you even actually suggest the possibility of another date with the guy? You are 29 and he is 19. He might think that you should take the initiative.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 16, 2014 6:48 PM GMT
    strokeme220 saidDid you even actually suggest the possibility of another date with the guy? You are 29 and he is 19. He might think that you should take the initiative.


    As we were walking to our cars I said, I hope I can get you back (he paid! and I said lets split it, but he paid)

    So anyway yeah Id like to ask him and me texting him "hey there" the next day (a pretty safe benign text but more easily ignored) didnt get anything back til 24 hrs later... I guess I was too eager and moving to fast possibly

    so I didnt text him back.

    So anyone else think waiting 3 days is the way to go or what to do now?
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 16, 2014 7:23 PM GMT
    glowstik said
    strokeme220 saidDid you even actually suggest the possibility of another date with the guy? You are 29 and he is 19. He might think that you should take the initiative.


    As we were walking to our cars I said, I hope I can get you back (he paid! and I said lets split it, but he paid)

    So anyway yeah Id like to ask him and me texting him "hey there" the next day (a pretty safe benign text but more easily ignored) didnt get anything back til 24 hrs later... I guess I was too eager and moving to fast possibly

    so I didnt text him back.

    So anyone else think waiting 3 days is the way to go or what to do now?


    I still think you need to wait 3 days before next contact. On the next contact, just flatout suggest another date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 16, 2014 7:57 PM GMT
    I wonder if calling is better than texting, after the first date. Not done it myself but I can see it working. If they don't pick up, no need to leave a message.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 17, 2014 1:01 AM GMT
    Ohno saidI wonder if calling is better than texting, after the first date. Not done it myself but I can see it working. If they don't pick up, no need to leave a message.


    A cold call huh? Yeah I know Id be open to someone I actually liked calling me to setup a date.

    The crazy thing is I swear no one does it anymore that it may just be off the wall abnormal... you got a point though call and if no answer leave no message, leave it at that I guess without a follow up text
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 17, 2014 3:26 PM GMT
    Time to put your pride aside... Balls to the wall..Go for it!!
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 19, 2014 12:06 AM GMT
    Ohno saidI wonder if calling is better than texting, after the first date. Not done it myself but I can see it working. If they don't pick up, no need to leave a message.


    I made the call on my lunch break today. He was also at work but picked up... I asked a lil aboit how work was going and asked "how are you" then I just got straight to it and said

    "I was wondering if you wanna do something again sometime?" (terribly ambiguous, I know)

    But he said, "okay" I suggested this week

    He let me know he had plans thurs and fri , so I said "saturday at 7"
    and there's that

    Anyways thanks for the help so far !

    What do you guys think would be a good thing to dodfor a second date?
    The first meet, we met for Sushi and he dropped about 50 bucks for both of us

    Also looks like there is lots of competition , If he has plans already for thurs and fri
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2014 12:33 AM GMT
    Whatever you do, do not call him "stud" again. I don't know any younger guys who like/use it.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 19, 2014 1:01 AM GMT
    Good to hear that you had the cojones and made the call! Glad that you made plans for this weekend. Since he put money for Sushi last time, you should probably pick up the tab this time. Pick a nice, adventurous restaurant and take him there. icon_smile.gif