Weird or Funny Club Experiences - Here's Some of Mine, What're Yours?

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    Jun 15, 2014 1:00 AM GMT
    This club was straight, but in Fargo, North Dakota, where you don't have many choices. My BF & I went, but just sitting at a table alongside the dance floor, as if we were single straight guys. You identify yourself as gay in Fargo straight bars at risk of your life, or at least your front teeth.

    So the DJ starts playing, and a few people go out to dance. But this really wacko character appears, wearing tinted ski goggles. He has a bunch of small US flags tucked into the goggles headband.

    He was bumping into everyone, dancing wildly by himself (if you could call it dancing, more like some kind of convulsive seizure), hitting people with his flailing arms. Finally some guys decided to take matters into their own hands.

    One of them returned with a huge role of silver duct tape, I have no idea from where, maybe from his pickup truck outside (half the residents of Fargo drive pickup trucks). Other guys seized this manic dude, and held him up against a column in the middle of the dance floor. A 100-year-old wooden building, it had lots of supporting columns all around the place, even in the middle of the dance floor.

    They then proceeded to encircle him with the duck tape, pinning him against the column. Around and around the tape went, until he looked like a silver mummy, totally immobilized but yelling in protest while people continued to dance around him.

    My BF & I just sat there totally stunned, not believing what we were seeing. We wondered if they would stack fire wood around him next, to burn him at the stake.

    The DJ finally saw what was happening, and came down from his booth. The bartenders and security didn't seem phased, never intervened. The DJ brought a big scissors, and cut the guy loose. He left at that point, tape still clinging to him and hanging off the column.

    My BF & I finished our drinks and left. We figured if they learned we were gay they might not bring duct tape for us, but rope nooses. A tough crowd.
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    Jun 15, 2014 1:31 AM GMT
    This was at a gay club. My late partner & I were drinking at a dance floor hightop table, when he went back into the separate bar room for more drinks. I went out onto the dance floor to dance by myself until he returned.

    The DJ started flashing some strobe lights, which can affect me as an epileptic. It's why I wear sunglasses indoors at clubs, despite guys mistakenly thinking I'm trying to look cool, so that the flashing lights will affect me less. And so I can close my eyes when the strobes start, and most people won't notice my closed eyes behind my sunglasses. I just blink a little to check I'm not bumping into guys.

    So OK, I was dancing with eyes mostly closed, when I hear my partner's booming bass voice: "Get the fuck away from my husband! I'm gonna drag your ass out into the parking lot and beat the shit out of you!"

    WTF??? I pop my eyes open, and see a guy has been dancing right in front of me, in effect dancing WITH me. He's in drag, with complete makeup, but a buzzed head, no wig. And really, REALLY ugly. I'd seen him there before, a total wack job. He apparently came up and began dancing "with" me, while I had my eyes closed, and just as my partner returned. UH-OH!!!

    Everyone stopped dancing, expecting a fight, but the guy slinked away without further confrontation. And I spent the rest of the night trying to convince my partner I didn't even know this guy had come up to me, I had no idea he was there, appearing to be dancing with me. My late partner was one jealous Italian, I gotta tell yah.
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    Jun 15, 2014 2:07 AM GMT
    Here's just a funny one. I was dancing at a gay club, when this rolled-up white sock popped out of a guy's pant leg and slid onto the floor. His bad luck that some black lights were on and this white sock laid there at his feet, glowing like it was radioactive. LOL!

    The whole crowd seemed to see it at once and stopped dancing to laugh and clap. Poor guy, he handled it pretty well, laughing himself, picking up his sock and leaving. With his female dance partner, though he was an out gay.

    I really felt sorry for him. A guy I knew casually from our attending some of the same gay house parties together. None of his acquaintances ragged him about it too badly, but most never let him forget it, either.

    But then, the same thing happened to another guy on that dance floor, later the same night! I guess he didn't get the memo. And I knew him a little, too. Yah know, if you're gonna stuff a sock down your pants, either don't gyrate around the dance floor too much, or tape the damn thing in place. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jun 15, 2014 3:41 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidHere's just a funny one. I was dancing at a gay club, when this rolled-up white sock popped out of a guy's pant leg and slid onto the floor. His bad luck that some black lights were on and this white sock laid there at his feet, glowing like it was radioactive. LOL!

    The whole crowd seemed to see it at once and stopped dancing to laugh and clap. Poor guy, he handled it pretty well, laughing himself, picking up his sock and leaving. With his female dance partner, though he was an out gay.

    I really felt sorry for him. A guy I knew casually from our attending some of the same gay house parties together. None of his acquaintances ragged him about it too badly, but most never let him forget it, either.

    But then, the same thing happened to another guy on that dance floor, later the same night! I guess he didn't get the memo. And I knew him a little, too. Yah know, if you're gonna stuff a sock down your pants, either don't gyrate around the dance floor too much, or tape the damn thing in place. icon_rolleyes.gif
    Moral of the story: Use a black sock.
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    Jun 15, 2014 3:53 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Moral of the story: Use a black sock.

    Or else wear briefs with a nicely defined pouch, as I did. Or with a C-ring (which I never did). Better to just highlight whatever assets you do actually have, rather than invent them.

    So that a sock may be a problem if it helps you get some guy in bed, and then you can't deliver the goods. Or you wear padded ass briefs to give you a bubble butt, which evaporates when you strip. And believe me, I've encountered guys who do these tricks.

    It's sorta like guys who say they're a trim, buff 30 online, with a lovely pic, and you meet an overweight 40-something ugly troll. Apparently they think the phony bait will initially attract enough guys that at least a few won't walk away once they learn the truth, having gone through the trouble of meeting them.
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    Jun 15, 2014 4:04 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidIt's sorta like guys who say they're a trim, buff 30 online, with a lovely pic, and you meet an overweight 40-something ugly troll. Apparently they think the phony bait will initially attract enough guys that at least a few won't walk away once they learn the truth, having gone through the trouble of meeting them.
    Yep, and then after enough people walk away (or don't call them back after enduring a terrible evening) they get online and post sob threads about how nobody wants them. icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 15, 2014 4:15 AM GMT
    Well I've been guilty a few times of leaving a bar with a guy I wasn't so sure about. Rationalizing that "Any sex is better than no sex".

    Until I got him in bed, and realized there's a higher law: "No sex is better than bad sex". icon_redface.gif