Not liking guys who are into me but liking guys who are not into me.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 17, 2014 1:46 AM GMT
    # frustration thread, lol, anyone else has the same problem? I discover that lately, there are guys who are into me but I'm totally not interested and not my type. The guys I seem to like, they seem to like someone else. But, I don't go stalker over them. And I tend to have several crushes at the same time. icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif

    # do you like to be a chaser thread.
    # you want what you can't have.

    Share some of your experiences.

  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 17, 2014 2:39 AM GMT
    pretty much the circle of gay life. I think it's safe to say almost everyone suffers from this condition

    He like's you
    You like him
    He like's someone else

    Most gays have early losses and subconscious attractions that drive them to sokething that seems out of reach, distant, or cold
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    Jun 17, 2014 2:41 AM GMT
    For me, it's been guys that are headed in completely different directions than me. Good chemistry, but terrible timing.

    I honestly can't feel much of anything for anyone unless they show signs of being attracted to me first.
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    Jun 17, 2014 3:28 AM GMT
    glowstik saidpretty much the circle of gay life. I think it's safe to say almost everyone suffers from this condition

    He like's you
    You like him
    He like's someone else

    Most gays have early losses and subconscious attractions that drive them to sokething that seems out of reach, distant, or cold


    True that, if the guy is too easy, its kind of a turn off.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 17, 2014 5:53 AM GMT
    LAXWill10 said
    glowstik saidpretty much the circle of gay life. I think it's safe to say almost everyone suffers from this condition

    He like's you
    You like him
    He like's someone else

    Most gays have early losses and subconscious attractions that drive them to sokething that seems out of reach, distant, or cold


    True that, if the guy is too easy, its kind of a turn off.


    Lol right? So you ignore them , they ignore you. And when they do something really retarded like "Looking" you talk to them for a minute. Say "Alright" to meeting then blow up their horny high telling them "I can't stay up, lets plan something or don't wait so long so long to talk to me next time."

    Gay guys that think they are a grand prize and that respond to pics by saying "Nice" really need to be fucked with and knocked off the ladder
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    Jun 17, 2014 6:28 AM GMT
    Lol, I took it that this happened to you before. icon_eek.gificon_redface.gificon_wink.gif

    glowstik said

    Lol right? So you ignore them , they ignore you. And when they do something really retarded like "Looking" you talk to them for a minute. Say "Alright" to meeting then blow up their horny high telling them "I can't stay up, lets plan something or don't wait so long so long to talk to me next time."

    Gay guys that think they are a grand prize and that respond to pics by saying "Nice" really need to be fucked with and knocked off the ladder
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 17, 2014 6:40 AM GMT
    LAXWill10 saidLol, I took it that this happened to you before. icon_eek.gificon_redface.gificon_wink.gif

    glowstik said

    Lol right? So you ignore them , they ignore you. And when they do something really retarded like "Looking" you talk to them for a minute. Say "Alright" to meeting then blow up their horny high telling them "I can't stay up, lets plan something or don't wait so long so long to talk to me next time."

    Gay guys that think they are a grand prize and that respond to pics by saying "Nice" really need to be fucked with and knocked off the ladder


    You might say it happened to me PRTTY PRTTY recently icon_smile.gif
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Jun 17, 2014 1:31 PM GMT
    Sounds like life.

    I think gay men in general have a dating problem. Unlike straight people, we want to skip the courting and go straight to true love and if that doesn't happen, we stick to being single and fucking around until that true lover comes around...who seems like they'll never come around.

    Start dating more.
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    Jun 17, 2014 2:33 PM GMT
    i loved automotive stuff, did a little street and track racing. Had a sportbike that I was semi proficient at.
    this was a temporary phase in my life where the Husband is long term.

    was looking for a BF with similar interests and finding one we bitched and argued a bit more than needed. Life was un pleasant and we parted ways.

    I opened up my search and found someone else.
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    Jun 17, 2014 6:51 PM GMT
    SuntoryTime saidSounds like life.

    I think gay men in general have a dating problem. Unlike straight people, we want to skip the courting and go straight to true love and if that doesn't happen, we stick to being single and fucking around until that true lover comes around...who seems like they'll never come around.

    Start dating more.


    I want a Prince Charming complex?? icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
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    Jun 17, 2014 7:10 PM GMT
    I feel your pain. The one I end up dating are always broken or in transition...Not over their ex completely or not ready to commit. story of my life
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    Jun 17, 2014 7:17 PM GMT
    glowstik saidMost gays have early losses and subconscious attractions that drive them to sokething that seems out of reach, distant, or cold


    No need for a psychological explanation. Animals have pecking order and hierarchies even more than us and there's no media to influence their taste. It's natural and predictable that we tend to be attracted to the alpha male look -- for a large portion of our evolutionary history if you had such alpha male as your partner you would actually have a better chance of survival.

    The most effective solution to this problem is to move up in the hierarchy by becoming muscular. This very website wouldn't have the number of users it has if being muscular didn't confer overwhelming benefits to one's sex and love life.
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    Jun 17, 2014 7:42 PM GMT
    bachian said
    glowstik saidMost gays have early losses and subconscious attractions that drive them to sokething that seems out of reach, distant, or cold

    The most effective solution to this problem is to move up in the hierarchy by becoming muscular. This very website wouldn't have the number of users it has if being muscular didn't confer overwhelming benefits to one's sex and love life.

    Don't know what rock you're living under. There's a reason why you see so many dumpy, overweight women with bad skin, with husbands who are very fit and/or attractive. It's because these men have spent so long on their appearance, their personalities go by the wayside, almost completely.
    It may build character and it may teach discipline, but so too, do many things. And it isn't going to make you a better lover or more respectable person. The "Alpha male" is the loneliest sort. I would rather aspire to simply be healthy, not necessarily "fit".

    The short fat balding dude, look for him in the crowd, he's the one driving the BMW with the tall blonde model.
    And it's the same for boys, too. When they grow up, they want a guy with some depth, some intellect/success, and some actual charisma that goes a little beyond their perfectly rehearsed smile and rippling abs. They're tired of it and I don't blame them.

    Seriously, next time you're out and about, pay attention. You rarely ever see a couple in which both parties are equally attractive, or equally in shape. It happens, but far less often -- if it even lasts.
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    Jun 17, 2014 8:10 PM GMT
    If the handsome muscular guys are such worthless targets for our affection, one has to wonder why their rejection causes so much resentment...
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    Jun 17, 2014 8:16 PM GMT
    bachian saidIf the handsome muscular guys are such worthless targets for our affection, one has to wonder why their rejection causes so much resentment...
    They're not, in fact they are mostly targets of our affection, and that's the problem.
    Imagine if EVERYONE you encountered wanted to sleep with you, coupled with underlying narcissism? It's a very bad combination, and yes it does happen. You can be so perfect on the outside, but full of broken glass.

    I am sure there is a slew of handsome fit men who aren't douchebags. I'm not denying that. It's just more common for people to be of less than ideal fitness in general, which doesn't exactly improve their image much.

    Can't speak for everyone else, but I'm not resentful -- I'm contrarian. I will always root for the underdog, and I will always go against the grain. Why? It's fun.

  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 17, 2014 8:40 PM GMT
    bachian said
    glowstik saidMost gays have early losses and subconscious attractions that drive them to sokething that seems out of reach, distant, or cold


    No need for a psychological explanation. Animals have pecking order and hierarchies even more than us and there's no media to influence their taste. It's natural and predictable that we tend to be attracted to the alpha male look -- for a large portion of our evolutionary history if you had such alpha male as your partner you would actually have a better chance of survival.

    The most effective solution to this problem is to move up in the hierarchy by becoming muscular. This very website wouldn't have the number of users it has if being muscular didn't confer overwhelming benefits to one's sex and love life.


    Lol okay, youre an animal! Everyone else however is going to be drawn to things from their early upbringing and experiences. Animal psychology is not human psychology.

    My comments were made with the given assumption that attraction must fitst pass some physical checklists

    Now keep fuckin' that chicken
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    Jun 17, 2014 8:41 PM GMT


    OK, I'm missing something here!
    If someone opens pics and I say "Nice!" that's a bad thing???? I've opened mine already! Promise. Should I offer a wedding proposal right off?

    To the OP the world is full of stories of "Romeo and Juliette" and "A Moon for the Misbegotten"....as soon as you "think" about love you're already doomed! lol

    I always say nobody is better than me, and I am no better than anyone else. Meaning that, if I get rejected by someone "hotter" doesn't mean I'm any less of a person. Flip side, if I'm not attracted to someone doesn't mean I don't or won't like them. They are a valuable person, as am I.

    Sometimes we self-reject:

    (True Story) When I was a kid at LACC studying architecture I had a crush on a bartender. I'd stop in after class at the Detour. He was dark and handsome. Built solid and muscular. He was Australian with a wonderful accent. A charming man.
    I was a very insecure 24 YO, he was a HOT man of 33! I couldn't even say anything intelligible. I was very shy.

    Fast forward 33 years. At 58 I moved to Palm Springs. I met an Aussie guy online, but not quite making the connection. Even after meeting and learned his first name I didn't think of it. He's now in his 60s. So we didn't look the same. It finally clicked when I saw him in shadow and profile! So I asked what his last name was...BINGO, my old crush! icon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gif Thankfully he didn't remember me, I was a real geek. I should post a pic, he's still got a bod that would put many 30 YOs to shame, 6 pack and all! We're still seeing each other weekly for 3 months. But he's going back to Australia soon, at least for a while.

    Moral? If there is one, we've both changed. I'm much more confident and more his type, if I wasn't before...I may have been. Don't rule other people, or yourself, out. In this world of "even instant gratification isn't soon enough" patience is a virtue...or at least time is a leveler!
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    Jun 17, 2014 8:50 PM GMT
    unckabasa said


    Moral? If there is one, we've both changed. I'm much more confident and more his type, if I wasn't before...I may have been. Don't rule other people, or yourself, out. In this world of "even instant gratification isn't soon enough" patience is a virtue...or at least time is a leveler!

    Yeah, well it CAN be, if the stars align just right. Not everyone gets lucky in this life, that's false new-age positivism.

    I actually thought that Daft Punk's "Up All Night To Get Lucky", was actually "We're not all meant to get lucky."
    I actually liked it before I knew the actual lyrics. Lol. I thought that the former interpretation was pretty creative.
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    Jun 17, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    glowstik saidLol okay, youre an animal! Everyone else however is going to be drawn to things from their early upbringing and experiences. Animal psychology is not human psychology.

    My comments were made with the given assumption that attraction must fitst pass some physical checklists

    Now keep fuckin' that chicken


    Yet the outcome of these upbringing and experiences is notoriously uniform. Too many people want muscular guys. This has caught the attention of many psychologists who suggested this might have an evolutionary explanation.

    Nancy Etcoff - Survival of the Prettiest

    The big question is why so many are offended by the rejection of the pretty muscular guys if supposedly they are so despicable? Why is it so much of a loss to let these lowly pretty muscular ones date themselves if they are a fraction of the population? We wouldn't be having this discussion if the average looking were into the average looking, who are far more common.
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 17, 2014 11:39 PM GMT
    unckabasa said

    OK, I'm missing something here!
    If someone opens pics and I say "Nice!" that's a bad thing???? I've opened mine already! Promise. Should I offer a wedding proposal right off?


    It's like the worst compliment ever, pretty much the "K" of compliments

    Is this an insight into me and my need to get a thicker skin and re-work my need to have my ego stroked? Probably

    I guess I just look for genuine people and enthusiasm... even in the way they communicate
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    Jun 17, 2014 11:56 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Ajjax said
    Yeah, well it CAN be, if the stars align just right. Not everyone gets lucky in this life, that's false new-age positivism.

    [/quote]

    I'm not into new-age mysticism! just practical.

    Awhile back on another thread something like "Would you date someone who rejected you before you worked out?" It seemed most guys said no. I thought that was self defeating. Say you have a crush on a muscle man, so you work out hard, and now he pays attention now?

    You changed. He may have too. People need to be less rigid and more elastic. And if it's just physical, so what? LOL You have to start somewhere!

    The stars do seem to align every so often. How often do you hear about old HS friends rekindle an old romance after finding themselves single again?

    Sometimes we chase things we don't even want. Sometimes it just finds us. All of the sudden that type seems real appealing!
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    Jun 18, 2014 12:02 AM GMT
    glowstik said
    unckabasa said

    OK, I'm missing something here!
    If someone opens pics and I say "Nice!" that's a bad thing???? I've opened mine already! Promise. Should I offer a wedding proposal right off?


    It's like the worst compliment ever, pretty much the "K" of compliments

    Is this an insight into me and my need to get a thicker skin and re-work my need to have my ego stroked? Probably

    I guess I just look for genuine people and enthusiasm... even in the way they communicate


    Sometimes I say GRRRR! is that better? I'm not much for long winded pickup lines. Geez you write a detailed letter, but by the time I write it they have logged off!
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jun 18, 2014 12:04 AM GMT
    unckabasa said[quote][cite]Ajjax said
    Yeah, well it CAN be, if the stars align just right. Not everyone gets lucky in this life, that's false new-age positivism.



    I'm not into new-age mysticism! just practical.

    Awhile back on another thread something like "Would you date someone who rejected you before you worked out?" It seemed most guys said no. I thought that was self defeating. Say you have a crush on a muscle man, so you work out hard, and now he pays attention now?

    You changed. He may have too. People need to be less rigid and more elastic. And if it's just physical, so what? LOL You have to start somewhere!

    The stars do seem to align every so often. How often do you hear about old HS friends rekindle an old romance after finding themselves single again?

    Sometimes we chase things we don't even want. Sometimes it just finds us. All of the sudden that type seems real appealing! [/quote]

    I agree with you, I am averse and pretty scared of flab LOL, as a gay guy why wouldn't you take care of that if at al possible before you put yourself out there as an online gay?

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    Jun 18, 2014 3:46 AM GMT
    bachian saidIf the handsome muscular guys are such worthless targets for our affection, one has to wonder why their rejection causes so much resentment...


    Conversely if handsome, muscular guys are so worthy - why are so many alone and lonely and crying they can't find a man?
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Jun 18, 2014 3:48 AM GMT
    People can be resentful of anyone rejecting them.

    I know plenty of people that like muscular bodies but fall in love and marry people less ideal.

    Maybe not finding "true love" after a few decades will you realize appearances aren't as important as you think they are.