Attracted To My Brothers Friend

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2014 6:22 PM GMT
    So I think I have feelings for my brother's friend, and I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if he is straight, gay or bi either. Here is my story. I know its long but hear me out. So recently I went on vacation with a large group of people. I met him for the first time and he was extremely nice. Maybe a little too nice. He is so great to look at. Oh my gosh...anyways back to the story. Him and I have the same favorite show. When we were on vacation I had brought multiple shirts to wear to show how much I love the show. The first day he saw my shirt he said "Oh my god dude. I worship you. Nice shirt!" My face turned red.

    I wore multiple game of thrones shirts on subsequent days and he said "Nice shirt man." As are vacation continued on I kept checking him out, but I also seemed to notice he was checking me out. When I would catch his eyes staring at me he would immediately look away. The turning point was the day when our group was on the way to a restaurant. Him and I were on a bus talking about our favorite show. He was staring intently into my eyes and me right back at his. I was sitting in a chair on the bus and he was standing over me in a tank top and holding on the handle bars. He quickly goes "We should hang out sometime." followed by him changing subjects.

    Unfortunately his girlfriend saw us talking for awhile. She got jealous and screamed for him to get back to her. So we went our separate ways for the rest of the trip. Throughout the whole trip they didn't seem happy with each other. Now all of us are back in our hometown now and there are still red flags coming up that he is into me. My mom came up to me and said that my brother's friend is looking for a job. On the vacation I might have mentioned where I work at. Well now he is trying to get a job there. Plus on top of that, he'll be going to the same college I will be going to in the fall of 2015. Now that were back from my vacation my dad took tons of pictures. Most of them have my brothers friend in there. I look at the pics all the time. I want this guy so bad and I wish I had his number, but unfortunately there are some complications. My parents and brother and sister are extremely homophobic and religious. Some of the people at my work are friends with my siblings. My parents think I am converted straight, but I am not and never will be. So I am in a bit of a predicament right now. I need some advice guys. What should I do?
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    Jun 21, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    Ditch your stupid family.

    And that's not just empty advice. I had to do the same thing. My family was/is the same way.
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    Jun 21, 2014 6:35 PM GMT
    Find him through FB or some other social media.
    Get him to hang out with you in the woods or someplace like that.
    Give brain, get fuck.
    Then, see if all the signals point to something moar.
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    Jun 21, 2014 8:15 PM GMT
    You didn't get this guys number - why? Why? Why?

    Ask your brother for this guys' number and tell him that you just want to have a "Bro-out" session with him.

    I feel your pain, with your family being homophobic/religious - that's rough. I think the college life will treat you better. Hopefully the college that you've chosen to go to isn't super conservative.
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Jun 21, 2014 8:58 PM GMT
    it may be that you desperately want him to want you. I would casually suggest to him as he did to you that y'all Shu's go hang out sometime. You might wanna come 'clean' with him and tell him that you would like to hang out with him more. That ways you'll be able to tell wether it is your desire or a mutual desire that's causing you to feel this way. Whatever you do don't do anything how to rock the boat with your brother and as others said no screw the rest of the family.
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    Jun 21, 2014 10:18 PM GMT
    dude, he got a girlfriend ! are you really trying to wreck their relationship?
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    Jun 21, 2014 10:47 PM GMT
    He knows you're gay, right? If he doesn't, you're making a shit-ton of work for yourself, which will be all for nothing. The second he knows you're gay he'll express himself, either with regret or interest.

    If he's tired of his girlfriend you may also see him using you to fill in his intimacy gaps (even if he's not into you). Don't make a move on him, just be up front about yourself.

    If you ever (organically) see him again, mention a previous boyfriend you were with who was NOT interested in Game of Thrones. Something like that. Do not subvert this declaration with longing looks at him or suggesting more hang-out time. Insert it as a fact (even if it's a lie). Then, the move is his.
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    Jun 22, 2014 12:29 AM GMT
    What is "converted straight"?
    Is that "obvious-BI-sexual,"
    or did they pay for preparative therapy?
    That would make such a better thread topic as these unrequited straight boy crush threads are all the same; in that, you can't tell anyone your gay so you can't date a boy, period.
    Sadly you "my parents are conservative, you wouldn't understand" guys don't get this, or you do and you're just looking for a hug--someone to lie to you.
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    Jun 22, 2014 12:59 AM GMT
    Don't read too much into any of the staring. It only serves to give false hope.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Jun 22, 2014 7:56 AM GMT
    Bleugh, yeah that family seems like shit if they made you go to gay camp.

    Having that said: Holy shiet, two people whose favourite show is GAME OF THRONES? I mean that must be a match in a million.

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    Jun 22, 2014 8:29 AM GMT
    sometimes straight people flirt with gay people and most of the time it doesn't mean anything.

    heck I've seen straight dudes flirt with other straight dudes. & I'm pretty sure they feel more comfortable doing it w. their straight friends(& knowing the playful flirting will not be taken seriously) than their gay friends.

    I would not consider the events you described as red flags at all. the staring & all that shit does not mean shit.

    trying to get romantically involved w. straight or bi-curious people (whatever that means) can bring you a shitload of trouble. especially if he knows your family.

    like suppose you come on to him and he did not react the way you're so expecting him to react. he might tell his girlfriend about it, then his gf might talk to your Brother or his parents. whatever. it's just something you don't want to happen.

    & personally I would not mess with someone that has a girlfriend.

    & even if he doesn't tell anyone about it. there's still a big chance that you'll be rejected. & you don't want that either.

    so my two cents would be to just forget about this person. & I mean you can obv. still hang out with him as friends. but unless he tries to french you or grabs your hand and puts it where his pee device is I would not take anything as a red flag.
  • BiGuySrq69

    Posts: 3

    Jun 22, 2014 9:58 AM GMT
    First off you use too many improper grammatical errors like "him and I" when it should be "He and I" and you used the word "are" when "Our" should have been used. If I overlook those small things and get to the meat of the subject you have a very simple thing to do to answer all your questions.....Ask him if he is gay/straight/bi or questioning. When he gives you and answer to the best he can answer it there is your answer. Short and sweet. I am rather shy myself but sometimes one has to
    "grow some balls" and just do what one has to do!
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    Jun 22, 2014 10:23 AM GMT
    Anus_Destroyer saiddude, he got a girlfriend ! are you really trying to wreck their relationship?
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    Jun 22, 2014 11:51 AM GMT
    Anus_Destroyer saiddude, he got a girlfriend ! are you really trying to wreck their relationship?

    If he does indeed have an affinity for guys, so much so that he wants to hang out with them and his girlfriend realizes/is jealous of this, their relationship is already wrecked, in theory. This is assuming that the OP is correct in his observations.

    See, normally, once a upon a time, I would've been echoing the voices in this thread, in that, "Oh, he's just staring, that doesn't mean anything; this is wishful thinking" kind of way.

    After fucking with my one of my best "100% straight" friends of 10 years, I've been made a believer.
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    Jun 22, 2014 11:54 AM GMT
    It needs to be wrecked in practice, not in theory, before it is ok.
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    Jun 22, 2014 1:32 PM GMT
    ask your brother for his number. Say you borrowed one of his t-shirts
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    Jun 22, 2014 2:06 PM GMT
    already wreck? some girls always mostly show jealousy even when we are close to male friends and families (experience)
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    Jun 22, 2014 2:24 PM GMT
    Think the underlying issue is that you are afraid of your family.
  • widestance

    Posts: 40

    Jun 22, 2014 3:03 PM GMT
    Let's say he is interested. As others have said, he has a girlfriend. Plus, where could this possibly go? You'd date him? You'd fool around with him? You'd ruin your (admittedly unhealthy) relationship with your family? This won't work out well for anyone. Move on.
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    Jun 22, 2014 5:45 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidDitch your stupid family.

    And that's not just empty advice. I had to do the same thing. My family was/is the same way.


    +1 !!!
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    Jun 22, 2014 5:46 PM GMT
    Bodycontactau saidThink the underlying issue is that you are afraid of your family.


    If he is still living at home, and/or relying on them, he very well may be. Doesn't change the fact he needs to get away from them.
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    Jun 22, 2014 6:40 PM GMT
    There is a part of me that wants to scream "troll post!!!".....

    Then another that wants to scream"he's got a girlfriend!?!"

    Either way it's a great day to scream!icon_twisted.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jun 22, 2014 7:24 PM GMT
    The guy was just being nice..Stop making something outta nothing.
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    Jun 23, 2014 12:23 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidThere is a part of me that wants to scream "troll post!!!".....

    Then another that wants to scream"he's got a girlfriend!?!"

    Either way it's a great day to scream!icon_twisted.gif


    +1
    Let's scream together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2014 12:23 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidThere is a part of me that wants to scream "troll post!!!".....

    Then another that wants to scream"he's got a girlfriend!?!"

    Either way it's a great day to scream!icon_twisted.gif


    +1
    Let's scream together.