Do you play the field?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2014 3:06 AM GMT
    I was talking with some friends yesterday and I was told that my problem with dating was that I didn't play the field.
    I find talking/flirting with a lot of guys at the same time exhausting & confusing.
    I can barely multitask in real life to begin with...I have always favored focusing my attention on one guy at the time if I felt like there was potential there and tried to see where things went. Is it that bad?
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    Jun 22, 2014 4:48 PM GMT


    The goal is to be fair to yourself and anyone you are interested in... If this means focusing on one person at a time... So be it!

    What works for your friends may not work for you... Do your thing, at your own pace. icon_biggrin.gif
  • daddysw

    Posts: 89

    Jun 22, 2014 5:08 PM GMT
    he's absolutely right . .it's not a competition . . do what you're comfortable with . . and have fun tryingicon_smile.gif
  • matt13226

    Posts: 829

    Jun 23, 2014 12:59 AM GMT
    i can't even find anyone to date in my area
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    Jun 23, 2014 2:59 PM GMT
    BillyBrown saidI was talking with some friends yesterday and I was told that my problem with dating was that I didn't play the field.
    I find talking/flirting with a lot of guys at the same time exhausting & confusing.


    Honey, you need to tune into Love and Hip Hop Atlanta on VH1, and see how far 'playing the field' will take you.

    I will say, there's a thin line between 'dating', mingling, and cheating, or being a player/whore. However, 'playing the field' tends to mean any 1 of those things. If you've not met with someone more than say 3 times, then technically it isn't exclusive (committed). So in that case, the other person may very well be playing the field.

    What gets me as gay culture, mainly on-line gay culture...is nobody really respects themselves enough to demand a commitment, many guys aren't virtuous enough to ask or stay in one either. It's always got to be about the next dick and the next dick.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jun 23, 2014 3:11 PM GMT
    You're just a one-guy guy. Take pride in that. That's what most guys want. Even the field-playing butt-bunnies. If you ask them, they'd most like to find a serious, kind guy they can settle down with forever. You're doing it right.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 23, 2014 3:21 PM GMT
    I can't play the field. Whenever I'm seeing someone, the 'playing field' just drops out and I'm all about that person. It just happened recently with this one guy.. but he's now fading away, so guess I'll have to force myself to broaden the field. Ugh.
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    Jun 23, 2014 3:30 PM GMT
    No! That's not a bad thing. I prefer to concentrate on one person as well.
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    Jun 23, 2014 3:53 PM GMT
    Find your comfort spot and enjoy it. If you like to just search for a single guy, do it. If you want to date multiple guys, nothing wrong with that either. You're dating, the whole concept is to get to know a guy, not marry him. If you're dating multiple guys then you get to see what you like/dislike about each and about guys in general. This can help you in the end to realize what it is in guys that you want when you land the 'one'.

    Most important of all, just have fun, be safe and be yourself. If the other guys don't like your decision, too bad, their loss. You do what you feel best about. Good luck.
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    Jun 23, 2014 5:28 PM GMT
    Anocxu said

    The goal is to be fair to yourself and anyone you are interested in... If this means focusing on one person at a time... So be it!

    What works for your friends may not work for you... Do your thing, at your own pace. icon_biggrin.gif


    Exactly, they made it sound like it was a social norm. I guess some of us want to keep our individuality
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    Jun 23, 2014 5:29 PM GMT
    matt13226 saidi can't even find anyone to date in my area


    Maybe you should move to Atlanta icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 23, 2014 5:31 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidYou're just a one-guy guy. Take pride in that. That's what most guys want. Even the field-playing butt-bunnies. If you ask them, they'd most like to find a serious, kind guy they can settle down with forever. You're doing it right.


    Thanks that was pretty reassuring!!!
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    Jun 23, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
    PR_GMR saidI can't play the field. Whenever I'm seeing someone, the 'playing field' just drops out and I'm all about that person. It just happened recently with this one guy.. but he's now fading away, so guess I'll have to force myself to broaden the field. Ugh.


    Sorry mate, we are all in the same basket here...icon_confused.gif
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    Jun 23, 2014 5:34 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidFind your comfort spot and enjoy it. If you like to just search for a single guy, do it. If you want to date multiple guys, nothing wrong with that either. You're dating, the whole concept is to get to know a guy, not marry him. If you're dating multiple guys then you get to see what you like/dislike about each and about guys in general. This can help you in the end to realize what it is in guys that you want when you land the 'one'.

    Most important of all, just have fun, be safe and be yourself. If the other guys don't like your decision, too bad, their loss. You do what you feel best about. Good luck.


    Thank you so much, really helped me a bunch!!!
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    Jun 23, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    BillyBrown said
    Anocxu said

    Exactly, they made it sound like it was a social norm. I guess some of us want to keep our individuality


    In my opinion, taking the time out to get to know a person is always better.

    This way you get to avoid creepy guys,... Like me icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 23, 2014 8:05 PM GMT

    'Do you play the field?'

    Yep! And I'll play it again right here.






    ...wait, what?

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    Jun 23, 2014 8:33 PM GMT
    I'm playing the field right now, because I haven't meet anyone special since my ex yet. But yeah, it depends on what you want. Date and try the field if you don't want to be committed.
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    Jun 24, 2014 7:13 AM GMT
    But don't play the field, and allow things to get messy. The issue with trying to play FIFA World Cup Brazil in America, is the scene in America is much smaller. People try to 'play the field', but end up getting a bad reputation for being sketchy.

    If you going to play the field, don't cheat. How do you not cheat? You aren't playing 2 guys at the same time. You aren't going to the club, and getting into fights (or people fighting you) because you told adam you were working late, when in actuality you're going out with billy bong to the club.
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    Jun 24, 2014 3:31 PM GMT
    My personal best is juggling three guys in one day. It was a long, exhausting day but fun.
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    Jun 24, 2014 10:16 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidBut don't play the field, and allow things to get messy. The issue with trying to play FIFA World Cup Brazil in America, is the scene in America is much smaller. People try to 'play the field', but end up getting a bad reputation for being sketchy.

    If you going to play the field, don't cheat. How do you not cheat? You aren't playing 2 guys at the same time. You aren't going to the club, and getting into fights (or people fighting you) because you told adam you were working late, when in actuality you're going out with billy bong to the club.

    Honesty is always the best. If you're dating someone, make it clear, we're dating. I'm not dating you exclusively and until we develop a relationship that I feel is worthy of monogamy, I'll be dating other guys also. If they have a problem with that then they're true controlling and don't know what dating is about.

    I agree, don't tell one a lie, tell them the truth. You don't have to be specific but you can say, I'm sorry, I'm busy tonight but perhaps we can do something tomorrow. It's no ones business who you're going out with if you're dating. Too much drama just muddies the waters!
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    Jun 24, 2014 11:29 PM GMT
    I tried that a few times, it's really stressful, but I don't see anything wrong with it, you're just talking and getting to know them. Though be careful, don't bite more then you can chew.
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    Jun 25, 2014 4:22 AM GMT
    Varus saidThough be careful, don't bite more then you can chew.


    Or even worse....suck more dicks than you can fuck lol
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Jun 26, 2014 4:20 PM GMT
    I used to play the field alot, but now I'm not so interested in doing that. I hang out with people here and there, if things happen so be it, if not I'll just stay home and play guitar.
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    Jun 27, 2014 6:59 PM GMT
    In my case, I'm usually only -attracted- to maybe one or two guys out of 200. And that's not even an exaggeration, and that's taking into account hobbies, likes/dislikes, education, etc.