Any brothers here who have mainly dated inter-racially, but then "went back to Black?" Why or why not?

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  Jun 25, 2014 5:43 AM GMT

  Even though I have been mostly dating inter-racially (Latino/White), I still have a thing for the brothers. Big time. I always have.
  
  I recently left from out west (an area majority of brothers in gay scene like white guys) and went back to Florida for a lil while. Well, once I got there, I started getting a lot of responses from other brothers. Well, I ended up meeting up with 1 of them...and we hit it off real well. We went out, it wasn't just a hookup. When it came down to the sex, he wasn't falling short there either. We'll definitely be kicking it again when I return.
  
  Contrast that to my interracial encounters. They're good, but I'm just finding so much objectification involved with them. I like being a top, but too many guys got jungle fever and expect the Black dude to be a massive, aggressive fuck machine. I hate when guys I hookup with tell me something like, "Black guys (insert whatever complimentary sex verb you can think of)" What makes these guys think I want to know they've been knocked up by 50 million other brothers. I'm going to start asking, well what happened to them? Lol.
  
  I have a friend who is Arabic tell me once in awhile, he doesn't like to do Black guys because, "we fuck like beasts, and take a long time to cum". Although considered a compliment, I told him no, that's a misconception. The truth is, many guys who are into us 'expect' and even ASK us to fuck like beasts, and many Black guys have mistakenly believed that's what most guys (mainly interracial) want. I told him straight up, I haven't come across hardly any Black dude, that hasn't respected my boundaries when it comes to sex. To even believe in that, is sterotyping and living in 'fear'. The very epitome of racism. In addition, I have found with interracial encounters, majority of the guys rarely ever call or text back after sex. They chase, chase, chase...but once they get it, all efforts turn null. It's like they get what they secretly want, and that's it. They never want to hookup again, or play lil bullshit games. You're left wondering, what the fuck? But they just about playing the field, get as many Black dicks as they can get, and discard and repeat. Or, the be on that experimental tip, or going thru a 'phase'.That doesn't happen as much, after I hook up with a brother.
  
  I still do enjoy interracial partners...but I think now I'm going to start opening myself more to brothers too. Also, Not every guy Who likes blk dudes is like what I described either. I find Latins who been in the states for awhile, aren't usually like that.. What's your E-pinion?
  
  
  

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• TDSmoove
  
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  Jun 25, 2014 5:13 PM GMT

  We both live in the same city so I can understand the dynamics out here. I'm one the few Bruthas here that isn't opposed to dating white guys but I prefer men of color. Many reasons for that are the same as you've notice as well as a few others. I end up with more Latinos simply because they're primarily the ones that are interested in me. As you stated, for some reason many Black guys out here are exclusively into white/latino and wouldn't even consider Asians let alone other Black men.
  While at Pride this weekend I was doing one of those "Let's count how many specks we see in the crowd that I don't already know" And I only used one hand. So in part you gotta go with what's available to you. I also am into Asian men but good luck finding my in Denver let alone finding ones that are into Black men. In many of your prior posts you state that you purposefully have shunned Black men even though you said that you vibe'd with them. That part I don't understand. So in my case I never went interracial at the exclusion of other Black men but I'm already associated when so much of the gay Black community (not the DL ones, I have no use for them) that my choices are rather slim.
  I love my peoples and wish that we would look within our own community for love and not think that we must look elsewhere to find it.

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  Jun 27, 2014 6:37 AM GMT

  TDSmoove saidWe both live in the same city so I can understand the dynamics out here. I'm one the few Bruthas here that isn't opposed to dating white guys but I prefer men of color.
  
  In many of your prior posts you state that you purposefully have shunned Black men even though you said that you vibe'd with them. That part I don't understand.

  
  
  Well welcome. Maybe we can grab a drink together in the near future.
  
  Now, for the second part, I just want to explain that. I don't see where I have appeared to shun black men. I can't recall ever doing that. I may have stated that I like or feel or some other kind of attraction outside of my race, but that wasn't to put down my own,
  
  As I may or may not have said before, it goes way back. I was almost exclusively around brothers for 2-3 years in the beginning, even while I had interracial encounters. It wasn't until some 6 years later, that I almost entirely stopped seeing black dudes. It wasn't a decision I made, but rather a result of living in places where I wasn't meeting any that clicked for me. And after awhile, I began to almost believe that I wasn't into 'us' anymore. Then add to the fact, seeing other black dudes always with everyone else but another black dude. That stuff divides a race, and that's why gay niggas and black women tend to have a harder time finding even half decent black man in places like Denver, Minneapolis, or Phoenix. We have to move to NYC, DC, Los Angeles, or Atlanta to have abundant supply!
  
  But, its not even about that anymore. At this point, I can put aside the bullshit, and just know now I need to start casting a wider net.

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  Jun 27, 2014 6:51 AM GMT

  owl_bundy saidit's very sad that you can't seem to talk about basic dealings with other men without sex being involved. you seriously need to work on that because not every guy you deal with isn't going to take sex as a compromise.
  
  trying to figure out how you went from talking about dating to turning it into a convo about hooking up, being a top, sex and more sex. what does that have to do with dating?

  
  
  Ima tell you what the fuck it has to do with dating, right now. Yeah.
  
  I'm saying that when it comes to dating aka meeting guys, the fact is from my perspective and experiences, is that more often than not...the guys who are into black dudes and are not black themselves, usually only want the physical part but nothing more. For them it's satisfying a fetish or desire, not a will or need. Say what you want Non-black men, but it's a known fact....we're treated
  More like commodities and try outs, than date potentials. Don't believe me? Go on Craigslist and see how many non-black guys want BBC, but mention nothing about drink, date, movies, anything. They just want a black dude to pull out their dick for free, and keep it moving.
  
  Again, I'm not saying EVERYONE who's into blk dudes is like that. I'm also not saying every black dude I meet is going to all of a sudden treat me like royalty. But, when I do the math, I usually have to go thru more interracial dates to get to one serious, than it takes meeting someone black who'll be serious. I can meet 3 different brothers and find a boyfriend on the 3rd one, compared to fucking 30 non-black dudes just to get 1 serious person.

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  Jun 27, 2014 8:23 AM GMT

  Date who you want to date. Let others date who they want to date. Discussing it on the internet (or even IRL for that matter) is kinda stupid.

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• phildec159
  
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  Jun 27, 2014 8:42 AM GMT

  I am curious as to where you are meeting these non-brothers that you say treat you like a commodity, cause that more often than not determines the type of group you would encounter. Like are you going out and finding these guys that only want to hit it and quit it or using an app or a website?
  
  Also, it just seems like you are a little too hung up on race and other people's opinions. For me, I do love black men, I think they are gorgeously handsome with their really masculine features, but it's not to say that I wouldn't consider dating anyone else. Sexy is sexy regardless of race is basically what i'm saying.
  
  Idk, maybe i'm misunderstanding the point of your post, but this is the response I'm feeling at this moment after having read it once or twice.

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  Jun 27, 2014 4:16 PM GMT

  paulflexes saidDate who you want to date. Let others date who they want to date. Discussing it on the internet (or even IRL for that matter) is kinda stupid.

  
  
  You're taking it out of context. If it's stupid to talk about shit on the internet, then why you here then? Sod off, kick sand, beat it, take a haul, Paul.
  
  

  phildec159 saidI am curious as to where you are meeting these non-brothers that you say treat you like a commodity, cause that more often than not determines the type of group you would encounter. Like are you going out and finding these guys that only want to hit it and quit it or using an app or a website? Idk, maybe i'm misunderstanding the point of your post, but this is the response I'm feeling at this moment after having read it once or twice.

  
  
  I'm meeting them online, apps, bars, thru friends, at house parties. Again, I made an important point earlier....that not everyone who are non brothers into black dudes are going to be that way. But I am saying, many CAN BE that way. And that it seems to take going thru more....just to even find one who isn't like that. I'm not saying that all that is "pushing" me back to black dudes either (before anyone says it lol). But when I compare my experiences between the 2, finding a good interracial relationship is HARD in many places. Unless you just want to settle, and you see a lot of that around. I won't settle because I'm real specific about the guys I go for.
  
  I've ran the gamut on guys. I'm telling you how it is. In the past 3 years, I've come across so many guys who are non black and like brothers. But I kid you not, 9 times out of 10 they have a complex. They don't commit, they always looking out for the next best one, or they want to try it out...but don't want to buy.
  
  You could say its my fault that I'm meeting these guys, but the only thing I have control over is my reaction and what I can do to move forward. I don't have any control over how they choose to conduct themselves in their affairs.

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• BloodFlame
  
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  Jul 02, 2014 5:57 AM GMT

  Speaking from experience (at least online anyway), I know exactly what you mean. Now, I may not look as masculine as you and in fact, I'm in between but when I looked online trying to meet a guy who wasn't black, whenever I chatted with someone, they'd always want to see a picture of my dick. I don't show or post nude/dick pics at all but being honest about my length... I am rather endowed and whenever these guys asked to see it and I politely declined, the conversation ceased to continue. So in my mind, I knew that they were only interested in me because of my size. "I want BBC", "I want you to fuck my with that monster", etc. Just some things I've heard said to me and sometimes, that's how some conversations would start. lol
  
  When I was 18 and explored the internet gay world. I remember going into this old chatroom and I met a guy from the UK. He was nice and all but whenever we'd talk, he'd always talk about liking my dark skin and wanting my penis. I was naive at the time as I thought he was just being nice but thinking back at it, he'd always make a reference to my skin or size and now it makes me a bit uneasy. lol Same thing happened with two older white guys I did meet when I was 19 & 21. Mind you, I didn't do any full on play, just oral stuff. But as time went on, they wanted me to top them because of my size and I really wasn't interested in topping and they'd get upset sometimes. Needless to say, they stopped talking to me after that. I've only ever met up with 2 black guys in my life so far. First one, he was nice and I enjoyed spending time with him but we don't really click. The second one was "DL". Not very fun and I'm happy I didn't do anything with him.
  
  All in all, I understand what you mean about the "novelty" aspect. It can be a little suspicious online when non black guys talk to you. But you have to remember to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I have met a few nonblack guys who were genuine and liked talking about a lot of things and not even sex. So I keep my mind open and this could be because I never cared about race. I find something attractive in all races. It's just that with black guys, I'm not into thug type guys and they kind of dominate where I live so that's why I find myself not looking at black guys all that much but I do see some that I find attractive (usually the clean cut or alternative guys lol).
  
  

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  Jul 03, 2014 8:09 AM GMT

  BloodFlame said
  All in all, I understand what you mean about the "novelty" aspect. It can be a little suspicious online when non black guys talk to you. But you have to remember to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I have met a few nonblack guys who were genuine and liked talking about a lot of things and not even sex. So I keep my mind open and this could be because I never cared about race. I find something attractive in all races. It's just that with black guys, I'm not into thug type guys and they kind of dominate where I live so that's why I find myself not looking at black guys all that much but I do see some that I find attractive (usually the clean cut or alternative guys lol).

  
  
  Exactly. The whole novelty thing for me has gotten kind of played. But at the same time, it's become so common-place now, that now I feel it's MY TURN to start getting me some BBC too lol. Shit...Non-Black men are getting dicked down by all kinds of BBCs out there...I want some of that too lol. Even though, I'm more of a top. But at the same time...can't too much resist a brother with a banging body and packing a nice one lol. Even guys who aren't 'normally' into Black guys, will at some point try it out or end up wanting it all the time lol.
  
  But see, my issue is (and i see you're on the west coast) I live in Denver...and unfortunately many of the Black men in the gay scene here have no desire for 1 another. Many of my Black friends and other black dudes I have come across, do not put brothers no where near a pedestal. They always out for a White or Mexican guy. The few who I've come across that were interested, end up not being my type, or they just come at me all wrong and just plain rude. Something is seriously awry about the gay black scene in Denver. We have absolutely no kind of network out here. After awhile, these niggas start thinking that they aren't into Black men anymore. Then, they start to think that I'M NOT either. (It's especially embarrassing when a White guy comments on why come Blk dudes aren't into other Blk guys)
  
  I'm like wait a minute. Don't get it twisted. Put the right brother in front of me (drives, fit body, wants to do more than just sex together), you don't even have to ask me. I can have a completely different type of bond and attraction, that tends to often fall short in interracial liaisons.
  

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  Jul 03, 2014 8:36 AM GMT

  See...this is the bullshit and why not only is the interracial thing an obstacle, but the black dudes who are out here...so rude to one another.
  
  Nevermind bruh. I hate when someone asks me for something AFTER I ask them for the same thing. That's not adult-like at all
  
  This after I ask for HIS face pic, because he asked to see my PRIVATE pics...but I already have face/body pics up. This guy has no face pics on his profile, which ordinarily I don't converse with ANYONE without a face pic. I don't give a damn.

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• TDSmoove
  
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  Jul 08, 2014 6:06 PM GMT

  To be honest My impression that I got from you by your posts was that you'll hang with a brutha if and only if there is nothing else available. I have a good sized circle of friends, bruthas who love other bruthas, and I throw card parties as well as full blown parties all the time, as do other friends. Don't recall seeing you as them so I'm not sure about the clique that you associate with but perhaps it's the wrong clique.
  
  However if your criteria for associating with other bruthas is so dense that very few would ever live up to your standards then ya, you're not gonna click with any. In one of your posts you stated that they're usually looking for the next best one... Well isn't that what you've been doing as well? Talking to a bruthas but focusing on someone of a lighter persuasion? Not everyone is gonna have a gym bod, or packin 9", might be between jobs but it actively looking. But if your main focus is the dick and ass, well... it's no wonder why it's hard to find someone you click wit. Even if you did, it's not based on anything other than looks so that's doomed to fail before it even begins. Try puttin away your check list and just get to know a brutha... Might jus be surprised

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  Jul 10, 2014 9:31 AM GMT

  FuzzyPecs25 saidEven though I have been mostly dating inter-racially (Latino/White), I still have a thing for the brothers. Big time. I always have.
  
  

  
  
  No, you don't.
  
  You've said on multiple occasions that you're only attracted to men with a skin tone of FOUR on the Fitzpatrick scale, which knocks out the majority of the "brothers".
  
  

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  Jul 10, 2014 5:46 PM GMT

  TDSmoove saidTo be honest My impression that I got from you by your posts was that you'll hang with a brutha if and only if there is nothing else available. I have a good sized circle of friends, bruthas who love other bruthas, and I throw card parties as well as full blown parties all the time, as do other friends. Don't recall seeing you as them so I'm not sure about the clique that you associate with but perhaps it's the wrong clique.
  
  However if your criteria for associating with other bruthas is so dense that very few would ever live up to your standards then ya, you're not gonna click with any. In one of your posts you stated that they're usually looking for the next best one... Well isn't that what you've been doing as well? Talking to a bruthas but focusing on someone of a lighter persuasion? Not everyone is gonna have a gym bod, or packin 9", might be between jobs but it actively looking. But if your main focus is the dick and ass, well... it's no wonder why it's hard to find someone you click wit. Even if you did, it's not based on anything other than looks so that's doomed to fail before it even begins. Try puttin away your check list and just get to know a brutha... Might jus be surprised

  
  
  Wait a minute. I don't recall saying or alluding to anything like that. Only going for a brother when nothin else is available? That's not the case at all. I was just out the other night, and got numbers from 2 other brothers while I was out. And here were plenty of other guys available, mostly white or Latino, 2 of whom I was conversing with earlier in the night.
  
  As far as having a gym bod or packing 9", well that's just stuff I'd go for regardless of the race background lol. Okay, dick size isn't that important, but the attributes I go for is going to be the same across the board.
  
  And no, I'm not talking to a Brutha while focusing on lighter persuasion. When I was in Orlando, me and he black dude I was with...we're like the only few black dudes at the club. But, I wasn't looking for a white or Latin guy behind his back or anything. I was very happy with what I had next to me, and I didn't even give a fuck about anyone else there.
  
  The issue in Denver, as you may have noticed...is many (all) of the attractive, fit black dudes (even the ones who aren't), are pairing with white men. Now, you may have thought I said that I'm going for black guys when I made this statement though: I personally am opening my own mind up more to black dudes, simply because white and Latin guys in Denver are just too fucking shady and flaky. White guys tend to play too many games, and the mex Latin culture here behaves similar.. We're either 'friends' or just he hookup, or with someone much older...when it comes down to interracial stuff.
  
  But...it wouldn't be just for that reason either. I'll still see white, Latin guys, but I'm going to put my effort in my own as well...because I just haven't been doing that in the past 2-3 years since I've lived in this cowpoke ass city. And my middle eastern roommate, I'm about to kick his fucking ass out, and let my black friend from Dallas move in...because this bitch thinks white men are going to be the substitute father for his lil bastard ass...and he need to stop looking for a daddy in between the legs of white guys, because he's not going to fucking find it there.

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