How Do You Know Your BF/Partner/Husband Loves You?

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    Jun 27, 2014 2:54 AM GMT
    For me it's often silly little things. Yesterday we went grocery shopping, and I made sure to get him some Vitamin D tablets, because the doctor says he needs that. But other than that, I pay no attention to grocery shopping, that's his specialty. I just wander up & down the aisles while he shops.

    We get home and put the stuff away, and I see a jar of artichoke hearts in the frig.

    "I saw a jar of artichokes. Are you going to cook something with them?" I ask him.

    "No, those are for you. A treat."

    For ME??? OMG!!! I LOVE artichoke hearts, I eat them like candy.

    And he just did that for me, surprised me, didn't say a word until I discovered them myself. I was so touched that he thought to buy them for me, and he knows I love them.

    Does your man do stuff like that for you? Or you for him? Little surprises, little treats. Doesn't have to be food, could be anything that pleases you, or him. Or in what other ways do you each show affection unexpectedly?
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    Jun 27, 2014 3:08 AM GMT
    Real estate. It's all about the certificates of deposits.

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    Jun 27, 2014 3:12 AM GMT
    bon_pan saidReal estate. It's all about the certificates of deposits.

    icon_wink.gif

    There's no question when equity is involved.

    But I was thinking smaller, more mundane gestures. Little surprises that nevertheless tell you this guy loves you. Or that you do for him that say the same thing.
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    Jun 27, 2014 3:15 AM GMT
    Well, hell, yeah, Col...

    How is that Italian stud doing, anyway? Hope all is well.
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    Jun 27, 2014 3:20 AM GMT
    I hate you so much Art for sharing these cute little stories knowing that I am going to be single for the rest of my life! icon_cry.gif

    #foreveralone
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    Jun 27, 2014 3:29 AM GMT
    bon_pan saidWell, hell, yeah, Col...

    How is that Italian stud doing, anyway? Hope all is well.

    Thanks for asking. He's doing great. Better than me, in fact, according to our doctor.

    Last month our doctor told him his lab work was so great he'll live to be 120. I said: "Doctor, can I have a second opinion?" My husband slapped me. True story.

    We have entirely too much fun together. People say (depending on their age) we're either Laurel & Hardy, or Abbott & Costello. I don't think there's a more recent comedy duo that younger guys can relate to.

    In any case, we have so much fun, and thanks again for asking about him. I think having fun together keeps us in love together. Or maybe being in love makes it all fun. I dunno which is the cause & the effect.

    All I do know is that we are in love, and have fun together all the time, almost always smiling & laughing. Ask anyone who knows us. You can draw whatever conclusions you wish from that.
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    Jun 27, 2014 3:35 AM GMT
    He slapped you.....Col....you stop that! You do not cease to bring a smile to my face. Thank you for that. People, especially gay dudes, need to hear about guys that are in happy long term relationships. It's a good thing.
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    Jun 27, 2014 3:42 AM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidI hate you so much Art for sharing these cute little stories knowing that I am going to be single for the rest of my life! icon_cry.gif

    #foreveralone

    No, you should thank me. For showing a youngster like you, at 21, what he has to look forward to. I'm 65, and my husband will turn 80 next month. ***80*** !!!! And we're carrying on like kids, having the time of our lives. Shouldn't that make you happy, knowing this all lies ahead of you?

    "Single for the rest of my life"... what nonsense. Your life hasn't even started yet. How do you, or me, or anyone else know how it's gonna go? At 21 I had never dated, neither man nor woman. Not until I was 26. And look at me now.

    You're gonna do fine. One of the curses of youth is impatience, and the inability to see past tomorrow. You are still consumed by an adolescent need for immediate gratification. Maturity means being able to see beyond tomorrow, and to plan for it. Trust me, any day now you're gonna discover that, and realize what a wonderful world awaits you.
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    Jun 27, 2014 3:52 AM GMT
    it's the small details that tells you- they love you.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

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    Jun 27, 2014 3:53 AM GMT
    Knowing what your partner likes without him knowing, and then surprise him with that, at any given day, to me is the most genuine way to show you love them. A simple gesture of "I am thinking of you" is the best way to validate their worth of that special person in your life. An "I Love You" by word of mouth? no thanks, I believe that actions/gestures always speak louder the words!

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    Jun 27, 2014 3:56 AM GMT
    Unrequested affection? Always wanting to stick around with you? Dunno lol
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    Jun 27, 2014 3:58 AM GMT
    bon_pan saidHe slapped you.....Col....you stop that! You do not cease to bring a smile to my face. Thank you for that. People, especially gay dudes, need to hear about guys that are in happy long term relationships. It's a good thing.

    Well, not on my face, more a soft punch on the shoulder. We've never stuck each other in anger. Made the doctor laugh, though.

    And I take perverse pleasure in saying outlandish things, especially to authority figures. It put my Army career in jeopardy a few times, but I tend to be reckless.

    My husband's cardiologist was explaining what diet he should follow, strictly vegetarian. To emphasize, the doctor said (rather condescendingly in my view): "Eat nothing with a face."

    "But fish have a face, Doctor. I thought fish were healthy," I responded.

    "No," the doctor replied, "Not even fish, nothing with a face."

    "Well, if he can't eat anything with a face, what if I put a paper bag over my head?"

    Dead silence in the exam room. The doctor was speechless, his shock apparent. As usual my husband hit me, for being out of order, as I always try to be. A little anarchy is good once in a while, for all my gentlemanly manners. My husband & I still laugh about that day.
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    Jun 27, 2014 4:06 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    JumpMan_Josh saidI hate you so much Art for sharing these cute little stories knowing that I am going to be single for the rest of my life! icon_cry.gif

    #foreveralone

    No, you should thank me. For showing a youngster like you, at 21, what he has to look forward to. I'm 65, and my husband will turn 80 next month. ***80*** !!!! And we're carrying on like kids, having the time of our lives. Shouldn't that make you happy, knowing this all lies ahead of you?

    "Single for the rest of my life"... what nonsense. Your life hasn't even started yet. How do you, or me, or anyone else know how it's gonna go?
    At 21 I had never dated, neither man nor woman. Not until I was 26. And look at me now.

    You're gonna do fine. One of the curses of youth is impatience, and the inability to see past tomorrow. You are still consumed by an adolescent need for immediate gratification. Maturity means being able to see beyond tomorrow, and to plan for it. Trust me, any day now you're gonna discover that, and realize what a wonderful world awaits you.


    Thank you for this, truly.
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    Jun 27, 2014 4:07 AM GMT
    You probably don't remember, but the story of the staff meeting where you looked over to the guy next to you and felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him.....pure fucking Peter Sellers. black and white, a dribble of sweat running down the side of your temple.... lol....priceless.

  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jun 27, 2014 4:08 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    bon_pan saidHe slapped you.....Col....you stop that! You do not cease to bring a smile to my face. Thank you for that. People, especially gay dudes, need to hear about guys that are in happy long term relationships. It's a good thing.

    Well, not on my face, more a soft punch on the shoulder. We've never stuck each other in anger. Made the doctor laugh, though.

    And I take perverse pleasure in saying outlandish things, especially to authority figures. It put my Army career in jeopardy a few times, but I tend to be reckless.

    My husband's cardiologist was explaining what diet he should follow, strictly vegetarian. To emphasize, the doctor said (rather condescendingly in my view): "Eat nothing with a face."

    "But fish have a face, Doctor. I thought fish were healthy," I responded.

    "No," the doctor replied, "Not even fish, nothing with a face."

    "Well, if he can't eat anything with a face, what if I put a paper bag over my head?"

    Dead silence in the exam room. The doctor was speechless, his shock apparent. As usual my husband hit me, for being out of order, as I always try to be. A little anarchy is good once in a while, for all my gentlemanly manners. My husband & I still laugh about that day.



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    Jun 27, 2014 4:12 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidFor me it's often silly little things. Yesterday we went grocery shopping, and I made sure to get him some Vitamin D tablets, because the doctor says he needs that. But other than that, I pay no attention to grocery shopping, that's his specialty. I just wander up & down the aisles while he shops.

    We get home and put the stuff away, and I see a jar of artichoke hearts in the frig.

    "I saw a jar of artichokes. Are you going to cook something with them?" I ask him.

    "No, those are for you. A treat."

    For ME??? OMG!!! I LOVE artichoke hearts, I eat them like candy.

    And he just did that for me, surprised me, didn't say a word until I discovered them myself. I was so touched that he thought to buy them for me, and he knows I love them.

    Does your man do stuff like that for you? Or you for him? Little surprises, little treats. Doesn't have to be food, could be anything that pleases you, or him. Or in what other ways do you each show affection unexpectedly?


    My wee wittle buddy does all sorts of sweet wittle things for me and I do the same for him. And we're supremely silly, but I'm much worse and tend to say really outrageous things to make everyone around giggle AND turn red. No doubt, he knows he's luved. As long as I have everyone around laughing, I'm happy.
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    Jun 27, 2014 4:23 AM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ saidKnowing what your partner likes without him knowing, and then surprise him with that, at any given day, to me is the most genuine way to show you love them. A simple gesture of "I am thinking of you" is the best way to validate their worth of that special person in your life. An "I Love You" by word of mouth? no thanks, I believe that actions/gestures always speak louder the words!

    My dearest LEANDRO, my most special friend on this site, of course I agree with you.

    Planning happy surprises for my husband gives me incredible pleasure. And he managed to pull off a surprise 60th birthday party for me with 50 of our friends that I never saw coming. So it works both ways.

    But every day I play with him the "Did I tell you today how much I love you?" game. Maybe you read my other post about it.

    There's a thousand ways to show your man your love. But if you (in the generic meaning) do nothing, pretty soon you'll just become roommates, and then you'll be posting here to ask why your relationship is failing.
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    Jun 27, 2014 4:40 AM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh said
    Art_Deco said
    You're gonna do fine. One of the curses of youth is impatience, and the inability to see past tomorrow. You are still consumed by an adolescent need for immediate gratification. Maturity means being able to see beyond tomorrow, and to plan for it. Trust me, any day now you're gonna discover that, and realize what a wonderful world awaits you.


    Thank you for this, truly.

    You're very welcome. One of the few things old guys can do for those younger is point out the path we've taken before.

    It's different today, naturally, but some constants remain. One of them being how we as humans mature and grow. That will never change.

    You're gonna thrive in the gay world. Maybe not solve your current problems tomorrow, or next week, but solve them you will.

    Maturity is the art of patience. Never delete your goals, but defer them at times, until the proper moment. In life, timing is everything.
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    Jun 27, 2014 4:50 AM GMT
    freedomisntfree said
    My wee wittle buddy does all sorts of sweet wittle things for me and I do the same for him. And we're supremely silly, but I'm much worse and tend to say really outrageous things to make everyone around giggle AND turn red. No doubt, he knows he's luved. As long as I have everyone around laughing, I'm happy.

    You sound very much like me. And not at all like a guy who said he was straight, or something not gay. Are you firmly in our camp now, or is there still some lingering doubt? This post sounds like you've arrived.
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    Jun 27, 2014 4:55 AM GMT
    Honestly you sound JUST like my mother, and I never know whether to believe her or just give her a sideways glance.

    Admittedly, I am starting to believe her. I don't know why though, since life has only got progressively worse, and I don't see it getting any better any time soon.

    In fact, there's no evidence, anywhere, that hope has any merit whatsoever. Yet here I sit, hoping. Looming over the words of you and my mother.
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    Jun 27, 2014 5:05 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    freedomisntfree said
    My wee wittle buddy does all sorts of sweet wittle things for me and I do the same for him. And we're supremely silly, but I'm much worse and tend to say really outrageous things to make everyone around giggle AND turn red. No doubt, he knows he's luved. As long as I have everyone around laughing, I'm happy.

    You sound very much like me. And not at all like a guy who said he was straight, or something not gay. Are you firmly in our camp now, or is there still some lingering doubt? This post sounds like you've arrived.


    I think I just covered that in a response to your email a little while ago.

    I'm in the camp as a fellow American, yes, but that's about as far as it goes. I'm not gay. I'm not straight and I'm not bi. And I'm certainly not a tranny and if I was I'd be a 727 icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif

    What on earth is so important about the labels? I check off that little box that says 'none of the above'. I fit in no known category.

    This is my best buddy I was talking about and we're really really close. I luv him to pieces, but no sexual attraction. It's another bromance (they call it these days).
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    Jun 27, 2014 5:23 AM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidI hate you so much Art for sharing these cute little stories knowing that I am going to be single for the rest of my life! icon_cry.gif

    #foreveralone


    lol, you show me your palm on a skype or hangout and I'll read it for you. Yes, a highly superstitious Jamaican family. I can't help it, lol.
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    Jun 27, 2014 5:44 AM GMT
    Ajjax saidHonestly you sound JUST like my mother, and I never know whether to believe her or just give her a sideways glance.

    Admittedly, I am starting to believe her. I don't know why though, since life has only got progressively worse, and I don't see it getting any better any time soon.

    In fact, there's no evidence, anywhere, that hope has any merit whatsoever. Yet here I sit, hoping. Looming over the words of you and my mother.

    I probably sound like my Mother because I frequently use her sayings. Her older generation had lots of platitudes that are either forgotten today, or are mocked. But there was much truth and universal wisdom in them.

    You are 23, just a little older than JumpMan_Josh. Don't you think you should give it some time?

    And what are you doing to change your situation, that you evidently don't like? Planning to relocate, career change, or what?
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 27, 2014 6:27 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidFor me it's often silly little things. Yesterday we went grocery shopping, and I made sure to get him some Vitamin D tablets, because the doctor says he needs that. But other than that, I pay no attention to grocery shopping, that's his specialty. I just wander up & down the aisles while he shops.

    We get home and put the stuff away, and I see a jar of artichoke hearts in the frig.

    "I saw a jar of artichokes. Are you going to cook something with them?" I ask him.

    "No, those are for you. A treat."

    For ME??? OMG!!! I LOVE artichoke hearts, I eat them like candy.

    And he just did that for me, surprised me, didn't say a word until I discovered them myself. I was so touched that he thought to buy them for me, and he knows I love them.

    Does your man do stuff like that for you? Or you for him? Little surprises, little treats. Doesn't have to be food, could be anything that pleases you, or him. Or in what other ways do you each show affection unexpectedly?


    I love this thread.
    I've had numerous boyfriends and partners, but none of them were thoughtful or affectionate, like you described. I've always been the giver, and them the taker.
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    Jun 28, 2014 5:20 AM GMT
    Webster666 said
    I've had numerous boyfriends and partners, but none of them were thoughtful or affectionate, like you described. I've always been the giver, and them the taker.

    Givers are keepers, and takers are disposables.

    Best of all is when you're both givers. I'm sorry you haven't found one yet. Maybe it's an SF thing. I've always heard the guys there are mostly into themselves. You might want to cast your net a little farther.