"Crank" That, Saginaw "Boy Legislator." Youuuu!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 27, 2014 5:45 PM GMT
    ^Okay, I'm reaching there.

    786535164542672782.jpg

    But, it seems, when it comes to reaching, so is this kid!

    Man Arrested For Masturbating-To-Engines Spree Running For State House

    Well! Talk about auto-erotic! icon_twisted.gif

    JalopnikSaginaw resident Jordan Haskins is a 24-year-old Republican candidate for Michigan's state house. He also has a criminal record dating back to when he was 15. Having a felony can't stop someone from running for office in Michigan (just ask Flint), but the type of felony may cause some voters to think twice.


    "Get yer motor running. Vroooom! Head out of yer zipper! Vrrrooom! Vrrrooom!" icon_lol.gif

    MLive"Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises," the police report states.

    Haskins was charged with additional misdemeanor offenses related to a third incident at the mosquito control property in October 2010.

    According to that incident report, Haskins again said that he damaged county vehicles by pulling spark plug wires to "masturbate while cranking the engine." Deputies said he told them the act is a sexual fetish he learned about online...

    According to police reports, Haskins said he jumped a fence at the city of Saginaw's parking lot at 1435 S. Washington on Jan. 7, 2011. He told sheriff's deputies in a later interview that he went joyriding in the parking lot and masturbated in a city police cruiser and a city pickup, the report shows...

    On Jan. 24, 2011, according to police reports, Haskins jumped a chain-link fence and opened a garage door at Scientific Brake, 314 W. Genesee. Then he drove a truck on the grounds, he told police. Again, police reports state he admitted to "listening to the engine idle and masturbating."


    Dude sure took the whole "Jiffy Lube" concept a lil' too seriously, no?

    JalopnikQuick Google searches for "car cranking fetish," "cranking masturbating," "car cranking jacking off," "car cranking porn" and "spark plug masturbating" pulled up a bunch of links I'm definitely not clicking on. Although The Independent reported in 2010 — around the time when Haskins' masturbating escapades began — that "cranking," among other car fetishes, was a growing trend...


    Man! I REALLY need to get out more. Or stay online more, I dunno!

    Anyway, he insists he's got all that "cranking" stuff in his rear view mirror. These days, It's All Good Under the Hood for "Saginaw's Boy Legislator," who again, is running for state office, flowing flags and Christian-y crosses in tow.

    To hear him tell it, it seems he's had his "Come to Chevy" meeting -- oops, I mean, "Come to Jeebus" meeting -- and is now inspired to spread his spiritual WD-40 all over Lansing.

    I'm too scared to go dig into his political platform. My funny bones can only take so much today.

    JaolpnikAs for Haskins, he tells MLive that he was "into a whole phase of my life where I was young and stupid, you know," and that prison time "finally woke me up to some things."

    The local election is in November.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 27, 2014 9:37 PM GMT
    Is it ever good for an 24-year-old adult like him to have the kind of rapsheet he has and then fashion himself a "Boy Legislator"?

    I don't think his handlers thought that one through. Of course, I'm sure he is his own handler. icon_wink.gif

    EDIT: Yeah, that platform is about as bad as I thought.

    https://www.facebook.com/haskinsforfreedom

    I like the recent reply that arrived for him after he posted a right-wing article about Mayors passing "bathroom bills."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 27, 2014 9:53 PM GMT
    I wonder how long it'll be till they make a car with integrated Fleshlight, kinda like the new iPad case.

    fleshlight-ipad.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 27, 2014 9:59 PM GMT
    ^ewwww! lmao
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2014 2:26 AM GMT
    That poster is photo shopped, here are the real ones, left, mug shot, right, I dunno....Im a douche, all the girls love me?

    ewwww, very creepy, perfect republican material icon_lol.gif


    15167150-mmmain.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2014 2:51 AM GMT
    When young Republicans grow up they make even more of a mess in public.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jun 28, 2014 4:00 AM GMT
    Brings the expression, "Grease Lightning," to a new level. icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2014 4:56 AM GMT
    If he's on the Republican ticket then Republicans will reflexively vote for him. If Republicans out-number Democrats & Independents in that district then this guy's a shoe-in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2014 5:16 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidIf he's on the Republican ticket then Republicans will reflexively vote for him. If Republicans out-number Democrats & Independents in that district then this guy's a shoe-in.



    They are a mostly democratic district, this bozo has no chance of winning anything, except parole, of course this crankster was at this hearing, to put his party of NO speech in front of small town America. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Saginaw takes first step toward ban on gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender discrimination
    http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/04/saginaw_takes_first_step_towar.html


    And it looks like the big ass elephant in the room shut the vote down, with the same religious exemption thing icon_twisted.gif

    Saginaw postpones 'indefinitely' vote on gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender discrimination ban
    http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/04/saginaw_postpones_vote_on_gay.html
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2014 4:35 AM GMT
    scruffLA saidThat poster is photo shopped, here are the real ones, left, mug shot, right, I dunno....Im a douche, all the girls love me?

    ewwww, very creepy, perfect republican material icon_lol.gif


    15167150-mmmain.jpg


    Ewww! Kinda like the Texas "ex-ex-ex-gay" platform guy, they say they've found Jeebus when it appears they really found roast pork.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14380

    Jun 29, 2014 1:54 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidIf he's on the Republican ticket then Republicans will reflexively vote for him. If Republicans out-number Democrats & Independents in that district then this guy's a shoe-in.
    Its Saginaw, MI Art so don't worry because it is a solid blue democratic city that has declined and deteriorated to the point of being in state receivership in much the same way as Flint and Detroit.

    Saginaw MI is in the same boat of urban despair as both Youngstown OH and Niagara Falls NY. Get the pictureicon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2014 12:44 AM GMT
    Well, I have heard of some fetishes but OMG really!?!?!
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Jul 02, 2014 12:51 AM GMT
    Determinate saidWhen young Republicans grow up they make even more of a mess in public.


    Do they grow up?
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14380

    Jul 04, 2014 2:32 PM GMT
    tazzari said
    Determinate saidWhen young Republicans grow up they make even more of a mess in public.


    Do they grow up?
    Evidently this young republican from economically devastated Saginaw MI never grew up.