Fiyero27 saidBullshit he's not. That's why he subconsciously pushes away those he loves. He's in full denial.
unckabasa saidWhat do you mean? He's not gay.
BlakeA saidHey guysI'm having this problem with my "closest" friend right now. I'm ridiculously loyal to him and do more for him than anyone ever has, but he has major issues with pushing away people he's close to and hurting people. Something he admits, but continues to do.
How do you all handle friends who are in your opinion so self focused and rarely give back in any way, or reciprocate? I'm trying to rebuild my social circle and while I totally know I'm a good friend to others I am finding it very draining to deal with people who seem to be like emotional vampires . And ironically many of the time it's gay men . I want to develop gay friendships because I'm aware that no relationship can fill ones needs , but it's still driving mad that many gay men seem very incapable of being good friends .
Everyone says I should get rid of him, but I love him too much. Which is a big part of our issue.
Ironically, we work in theatre together. Yeah, theatre people are crazy.
OMG he's in love with you!
I don't want to derail Blake's thread with my own "self-absorbed friend" drama, but people have questioned whether he's gay or bisexual because of how he acts with gay guys. Super flirty. And he goes beyond what your typical straight guy would do with me more so than anyone (hugs, goodnight kisses, sweet dreams/good night text messages, bunch of sleepovers, a couple of which we shared the same bed, we were planning a trip to Europe together, he was in the hospital recently and i was one of the first people he called to take him there, etc.)
But most of his super affectionate behavior came after his marriage ended. Now, he's with a new girlfriend which will probably result in marriage and he barely talks to me anymore. In fact, our fighting/falling out happened after he got out of the hospital when he told me "he will always love me, but he can't be in love with me." And I called him out on treating me crappy and being self-absorbed.
But he loves women and he's in a serious relationship with a girl now and all the affectionate behavior between us has stopped. So I doubt he's in denial.
Anyway, sorry to derail Blake, but yes, it's extremely tiring. I've been very sick the past 3 weeks over the stress.