Please remind me to NEH-VAH consider living with a gay roommate again...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 4:33 AM GMT
    ...And by roommate I don't mean boyfriend/husband. I mean the platonical definition of a ROOMMATE.

    Some of you probably remember me discussing the guy who I allowed to move in with me a couple months ago. All was well for like the first couple of weeks or so. To Recap: I was at a friend's house, guy is a friend of a friend, asked me if I wanted to a roommate. Although I've been living alone for the past 3 years, and I didn't REALLY want a roommate, I figured I could try it out.

    Well, 2 months later, this guy is driving me up the wall. For 1 I am starting to realize he's a sex addict. And 2, all this guy ever talks about is dicks, ass, and hooking up. He went away for 2 weeks, and during the whole trip all he had to tell me about was the 4 guys he slept with in 1 day, and despite that...he was STILL on a conquest. We drove 1,600 miles together, and stopped in 3 cities. Every city we went to, he's on adam4adam/craigslist, hooking up with guys, staying out all night with strange guys and getting into drama with them, having a random guy at the hotel room, etc. When we're driving, every fucking car we pass, he's looking to see who's in and says, "OOO, HE'S CUTE"

    Driving home I had to regulate on him twice, and the 2nd time he didn't like it. I basically had to tell him to shut the fuck up about his encounters as I don't give a fuck. I also told him he needs to stop sleeping around with all these people, and then turn around and talk shit about how gays can't be faithful, and how gay relationships never work because someone's always cheating. Like bitch...look at you!

    I know I may be generalizing here, but this is really my 1st experience with gay roommate living with me. But, I've seen how most all gay guys live, and their bedroom puts a Nevada brothel to shame. It's 1 guy after the next, day in, day out. And that's fine, do what you want. But don't come to my lair and expect me to be your accomplice. I'm not going to sit around and have some random guys coming in and out of my place, having sex while I'm away. I just don't like that. I'm a jealous mother fucker. Even if we're 'just friends' or 'just roommate', it don't matter. If he has the ability to fuck with all those guys and sleep with them, then that's who he needs to be living with. But he's so fucking stupid, when I tell him that he gets mad. Well gone on with your hard head self. And where do you go when they show your ass the door? Shit...I'm not the one depending on someone for a place to live.

    I've really been pushing him to get his own place. A family member helped him out, but for some reason he's still trying to stay with me. But, I've already given him 30 days. Everytime he talks about a guy and about how big their dick is/how he doesn't like the way their dick looks...I tell him, STOP FOCUSING ON SEX, AND FOCUS ON GETTING THE FUCK OUT----------------->

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 4:34 AM GMT
    Why does this not surprise me in the least?
    I swear -some- gay men are like cats. They just refuse to get along.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 5:17 AM GMT
    I don't think gay roommates are generally like that. I think it's just that particular roommate you got. Just WOW. How desperate can someone be? icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Jul 01, 2014 5:35 AM GMT
    Sounds like you should have done a little research before bringing him in
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 5:56 AM GMT
    jo2hotbod saidSounds like you should have done a little research before bringing him in


    I will definitely admit that I too played a part in this, by allowing it in the first place. But at the same time, I knew all along that I wasn't cut off for roommates...but I didn't know it would be like this.

    I honestly don't even know if I can give him the 30 days. I'm the type of person that when someone pisses me off too many times, It's hard for me to even want them around anymore. Unless they're giving me some make-up sex to makeup for it.

    It's not even about not getting sex or his hookups either. He wants to come home after being out all day, get on MY internet to look at porn, and not get stuff done around the house. I even have to tell this mother fucker to shower when he gets home from work, because if I don't tell him, he'll wait till the next morning. (now, I know that's not gay specific, but it's one of the irks)
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Jul 01, 2014 6:00 AM GMT
    Same guy you were whining about who wouldn't put out for you? If so, you weren't wanting it to be platonic. icon_rolleyes.gif

    I've had a gay roommate and was fine, still great friends but I no longer live in Argentina so that's the reason we no longer live together.

    We both paid rent on time, took turns paying the maid, no hang ups sharing food and respected each other's space. We had our own group of friends, but would do dinner together once a week. We could also borrow clothes or use each other's different connections for clubs or restaurants which was great.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 6:05 AM GMT
    Sadly this guy is another number to feed the stereotype in the gay world.
    Now, you live with him and his lifestyle affects you, you have all rights to tell him to get the hell out!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 6:07 AM GMT
    KepaArg saidSame guy you were whining about who wouldn't put out for you? If so, you weren't wanting it to be platonic. icon_rolleyes.gif


    No one was whining over shit. Let me tell you why I was 'whining'. This mother fucker came to me thru my friends, asking for a place to live, because he didn't have no where to go. I didn't even fucking know this bitch. But, he was my age, cute, and I was a little too kind. But, he thought he was going to stay at my place, save up his paychecks , and then ditch out without paying for anything. But, on the 2nd day when I realized he wasn't trying to put out, that's when I fucking flipped the script. I was like dude...that's USING someone. And you're not going to use me, so start fucking paying up.

    We were talking about this the other night, too. He always likes to bring up that I should have let him save up $1,000 to move out. I asked him what the fuck would make him think I'm some mother fucking Theresa to be allowing some guy to stay up in my place and not pay for shit, yet not even want to put out? And if you think I'm being superficial or un-Godly...just remember I live in a 1 BEDROOM. Which means I would be unable to bring guys over myself, thus remaining sexless my damn self.

    WHO the fuck would do that, for someone who isn't even a friend? Where they do that at? You see what I'm saying?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 6:52 AM GMT
    polfsky saidI don't think gay roommates are generally like that. I think it's just that particular roommate you got. icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Jul 01, 2014 7:37 AM GMT
    If he's not on a lease and hasn't helped at all I'd feel you should tell him to go. 30 days might be a bit much give him two weeks since it's becoming a major cause of problems.

    I don't think it's that hard to save $1000 a month especially if he hasn't been contributing.

    Gay roommates aren't bad, just ended up with a shitty person.

  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Jul 01, 2014 8:07 AM GMT
    Fuzzy pecs i dont know what to say..
    You can't stand him but you still go on cross country fuck trips with him
    I think you are both hoes yet one is more jealous than the othericon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 9:24 AM GMT
    I think y'all should get married. Sounds like y'all practically are anyway. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 4:24 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said

    I know I may be generalizing here....


    Ya think? Kind of invalidates your headline.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 4:27 PM GMT
    Because of my work field , i share accommodations , while away from home .
    There is no way in this bloody world i will ever have a roommate !!
    I have often have good mates of mine staying as guests in my flat , but they all aware of my OCD's and know the rules ..icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 5:31 PM GMT
    From college to as recently as a year ago I've had many roommates. In Mpls. LA and San Diego. At least 15 over the years, not including lovers.

    One young Lesbian was a real slob. One Gay man was really weird (actually a nice guy), one was a liar and did meth. Only the last one was a problem and I asked him to leave, with an official notice.

    I just rely on my instincts and am usually right. I never did a background check or anything. One out of 15 isn't too bad. So you were just unlucky in your first roomy....or you need to learn from it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
    My STRAIGHT Roommate Horror Story:

    At the time I had a two bedroom apartment by myself.
    I invited my buddy to move in when he needed a new place.
    He needed to save money so I let him pay no rent but take me for cheap Chinese food once a week.

    He traveled frequently for work and I worked all the time so he was never in my way.

    But after 6 months I began looking for a condo to buy.
    I asked him if he'd want to move with me and pay a little rent to help me afford the move.

    His response: "Oh I could never live with you, you're too messy."

    Odd. My messiness hadn't bothered him while he got free rent.
    And neither did it occur to him to tidy up what he thought needed done----or hire a maid with the money he wasn't paying for rent.

    I was actually more amused than angry with him. But I did get my new place and didn't take him with me.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 01, 2014 5:49 PM GMT
    After reading this, I attempted moving out on myself. Me and me fought over shit like the coffee pot so I stayed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 7:00 PM GMT
    venue35 saidFuzzy pecs i dont know what to say..
    You can't stand him but you still go on cross country fuck trips with him
    I think you are both hoes yet one is more jealous than the othericon_twisted.gif


    OK, the roadtrip thing was something different. We only did the roadtrip on the way back, to help contribute with gas or whatever. What happened was, He left for 2-3 weeks to go visit his Uncle, I left and went to visit my family. The 2 cities were kinda along the same route, so we ended up going back to home city together.

    I may be a ho, but I can't have another ho around me too. That's where the error lies. Hoes need to ho in their own ho-tel.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 7:06 PM GMT
    unckabasa said
    I just rely on my instincts and am usually right. I never did a background check or anything. One out of 15 isn't too bad. So you were just unlucky in your first roomy....or you need to learn from it.


    Ugh, I didn't do any background check either. Even though this guy doesn't have any major criminal acitivies, he has a lot of petty ones. And those petty ones are also reasons he can't seem to contribute enough, paying all these court fines and tickets from long time ago.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 7:10 PM GMT
    KepaArg saidIf he's not on a lease and hasn't helped at all I'd feel you should tell him to go. 30 days might be a bit much give him two weeks since it's becoming a major cause of problems.


    that's a good idea. But I've already kind of told him til the end of the month. But last night, we almost got into a fight about it...because I started saying I don't know if I could deal with him for another month...and I also asked if HE WAS SURE he could even deal with ME for another month.

    I ask him to fucking clean up shit, instead of coming home and jumping on the damn internet to watch porn and play around on reckon/adam/craigslist...and he wants to come smart out the mouth. I was about to tell him to go back to his friend's house since he's so sure that he'll take him back. And when I texted him last night to tell his friend that, his friend said HELL NO.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jul 01, 2014 9:16 PM GMT
    I felt bad for you when I read the initial post but after your replies, you kind of deserve it

    He is not a sex addict, he likes what he is doing and isn't ashamed of it or wants to stop. Not only that, but you let him get away with it and yah you are both adults but clearly you feel like you are done with it and want him out so now he's just a kid in a parent's house SO change your approach.

    You said
    "We were talking about this the other night, too. He always likes to bring up that I should have let him save up $1,000 to move out. I asked him what the fuck would make him think I'm some mother fucking Theresa to be allowing some guy to stay up in my place and not pay for shit, yet not even want to put out? And if you think I'm being superficial or un-Godly...just remember I live in a 1 BEDROOM. Which means I would be unable to bring guys over myself, thus remaining sexless my damn self."

    That whole thing confuses me. So it'd be ok for him to stay with you if you guys had sex? That makes him a whore and you a pimp. Seems like you should live alone since you have issues with other people. I know I would and I live alone and would never let someone live like that in my one bedroom apt EVER. He needs to be on the streets or with family. You need to be proactive at this point and maybe "help" him pack. No more talk. If you say till end of month and it come YOU better do something or just send him out NOW
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 10:17 PM GMT
    I find it hard to blame the other guy - he's under no obligation to live according to your standards ... especially if you don't spell it out ahead of time. This clearly is driving you up the wall, but I'm pretty sure he's sick of your moralistic shit, too. (I know I am anyway ...)

    Try not to kill each other between now and the end of the month. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 01, 2014 11:32 PM GMT
    It doesn't matter, it's the OPs house/apartment. Time for the guest to move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2014 2:32 AM GMT
    If he is not on the lease, next time he is out of the house throw his shit on the lawn and change the locks. Then call him and tell him where he can find his belongings.

    Case closed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 02, 2014 3:31 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said...Because this shit herr is
    I've really been pushing him to get his own place. A family member helped him out, but for some reason he's still trying to stay with me. But, I've already given him 30 days. Everytime he talks about a guy and about how big their dick is/how he doesn't like the way their dick looks...I tell him, STOP FOCUSING ON SEX, AND FOCUS ON GETTING THE FUCK OUT----------------->



    You were right, sounds like to me your really jealous. I do understand if you don't want your place to be a brothel but if he hooks up with random guys outside or on his own time it really has nothing to do with you.
    As a roommate your well within your rights to insist he not talk about his sexual conquests in front of you or bring in random men off the street to your place. But its not your business or concern how he likes to live his life.

    It sounds to me your kind of lonely and projecting your anger onto him. Driving with him on such a distance you must have found him entertaining to even consider doing it. So I am sure he has his positive traits too.