fLiP21 saidThanks everyone. A lot of your advice really helps puts things into perspective. I've been having issues with a guy I'm currently dating(most likely gonna flop soon)so I've been having so many questions in my head in general about dating.
Hey man, I see where you're coming from. I wrestled with a lot of the same questions all through college. I would just offer a couple pieces of advice, only because I went through some tough shit I wish I had been more aware of beforehand.
The first thing I'd say is that whatever you do, if you do decide to date someone, don't go into it with the idea of an "expiration date" in mind. I did that in my first relationship and it added a huge amount of stress. Over time, the question just kind of becomes "why are we bothering?" when there's an understanding from the start that it's just gonna end when you transfer or get stationed somewhere or whatever. I also made the mistake of talking about it a lot with him, which I think made it feel even more meaningless in his eyes. The deeper your relationship gets, the more painful it will be if it has to end. So go into it with the mindset that anything is possible and don't get hung up on being aware that there's an end date for the relationship. Or I guess, if things progress into being serious, let the conversation be "what can we do to make this work?" instead of "I'm leaving, so what's the point?". That way you can have a healthy dialogue about it where he feels like he has a say and you feel like you're giving it the chance of working out. Particularly in the case of military couples, this is not an unusual situation. My manager at my last job has a boyfriend in the Navy and they've been together and monogamous for 8+ years. If the connection is there and the feelings are deep enough, you'll both be wiling to make sacrifices to make it work when the time comes. But again, try as much as possible not to focus too much on it, especially in the early stages of dating.
The second thing I'd say is that if you decide to date someone, make sure that you don't become so consumed by them that you neglect getting the most out of your college experience. You're in AROTC already which is great, so just make sure that you keep a balance between your relationship and your social life. I made the mistake of gradually spending almost every free moment with my bf and I really neglected a lot of my friends and other opportunities on campus. My best friend basically had to sit me down and point out the fact that I was totally neglecting all these other areas of my life, which wasn't good.
And third, try your hardest not to focus too much on dating while you're in school. I was so focused on it that it really made me miserable when I couldn't find good guys to date. I know it can be incredibly frustrating to see all of your straight friends going out and dating and hooking up and maybe wishing you could have a piece of that. But the reality is that you'll never again have the chance to live life the way you get to in college, so pour your time and energy into things that make you happy. Join clubs, spend as much time with your friends as possible, and if a guy comes along that you click with, that's awesome and you should pursue that. But I guess I just mean don't let the feeling that you need to date get to the point where it distracts you from being able to enjoy your social life and do well in your academics. I really wish someone had slapped that concept into me when I was in school.
Oh, and for the love of God please don't take apps like grindr, scruff, jackd, etc. too seriously. I can't tell you how many parties and student events I sat through constantly refreshing that damn grindr page hoping someone new would pop up and totally missing what was going on in the actual world. I probably would have met some pretty cool guys had I pulled my head up from my phone once in awhile. Just food for thought.