A guy who once turned me down... asked for advice.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 6:48 PM GMT
    Good afternoon! so... here's a weird story.

    Recently at the gym I've been asked for fitness advice by someone. The catch is... it's a guy that turned me down a few years ago. Being turned down is fine! it's natural and maybe i wasn't his type. I was maybe 20? just turned 20 i believe. And wasn't out of the closest quite yet... so i was on Okcupid instead of going out to meet people icon_lol.gif

    He basically told me i was not his type. And that i was pretty ugly... and apparently not fit enough.

    Fast forward 4 years and i see him at the gym. About 3 weeks ago he asked me to spot him, and i did so. Then he asked ''how did you get so high on bench? you can probably bench press like 4 people'' then he was asking me for advice on deadlift, squats, back, legs, and even cardio!

    It was very surreal honestly that this was happening. I didn't mention anything of course about the okcupid thing. It's just weird a guy who once insulted the way i look and how ''fit'' i was. Is now asking me for workout advice...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 6:54 PM GMT
    Was he out of shape?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:00 PM GMT
    kevex saidWas he out of shape?


    He was... decent. I'd say average, with a little bit of tone.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jul 09, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    Spot him on a bench and when he's struggling on the last few reps, remind him about meeting. Then watch his face. Could be funny.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:11 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidSpot him on a bench and when he's struggling on the last few reps, remind him about meeting. Then watch his face. Could be funny.


    Eh, as funny as that sounds. I'm too nice and wouldn't want to be malicious like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:15 PM GMT
    Perhaps he doesn't remember you from before.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:24 PM GMT
    That could be true as well!

    I've been noticing this for quite sometime. There's guys who were pretty hateful to me about my looks years ago. And, i see them, years later. And all of a sudden they want to talk and be nice to me...

    This kind of shows me the body is all they care about. I like guys average, muscular, toned, beefy, small, tall, short etc. It's not all 100% about body... and that's important to me. It used to really mess with my head...

    Because guys who were really skinny... or average. Would go on a date and tell me I'm not big or fit enough. When honestly i was a lot more fit than them. I never judge others bodies like that... unless they tell me something like that. And when i'm more in shape than them... and they tell me I'm not fit enough or them. It just boggles my noggin.

    These happened months and months and months ago tough. I haven't been on a date in awhile cause of that! i find trying to have an intelligent conversation... with someone who only wants a body. Is kind of hard in the end.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:29 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:29 PM GMT
    Punch him in the face and tell him not to come back to your gym. #likeabawss

    I'm creepin'
    eric-church.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:36 PM GMT
    Maybe I am a dick but I would just say "dunno" and "you could talk to one of the trainers maybe, bye now".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:38 PM GMT
    theantijock said


    Wow, usually i hate 2 and a half men. But... that was pretty funny icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:39 PM GMT
    Avsigkommen saidPunch him in the face and tell him not to come back to your gym. #likeabawss

    I'm creepin'
    eric-church.jpg


    Not creepy enough of a photo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:40 PM GMT
    Ohno saidMaybe I am a dick but I would just say "dunno" and "you could talk to one of the trainers maybe, bye now".


    I think that might cause some feelings... icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:41 PM GMT
    If you can, and want to, provide authentic advice to him, then do so. Otherwise, demure and direct him elsewhere for his advice. Another option is to charge him for personal training services.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:47 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidIf you can, and want to, provide authentic advice to him, then do so. Otherwise, demure and direct him elsewhere for his advice. Another option is to charge him for personal training services.


    I actually gave him advice a couple times. And he told me today he feels a lot stronger! and that he has improved on bench and deadlift. Guess that's a positive in the end...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 7:58 PM GMT
    I would handle it just as you're doing - with style and an inner confidence. I wouldn't mention anything about your brief past with the guy. You've moved on - and you're looking fine now.

    Once in high school I was a twink - skinny, too tall, no muscle. Nobody called me out about it, luckily. There was a guy a few years older than I was, and I thought he was the hottest thing I'd seen in real life. He never noticed me when I was a twink, and I never had the guts to speak to him.

    I started playing water polo, and beefing up. I continued in college and all the work outs, diet improvements, and just naturally aging well helped me change my whole look. Guess who I see at a pool party one night? The stud from a few years back. He approached ME at the party and said "Wow. You're looking better!" Huge props for me at the time, coming from him.

    I'm thinking the guy you're mentioning at the gym - who wasn't interested a few years ago, NOW sees something in you he likes - and wants to know better. Go with it. I did in my case, and turned it into a summer-long hook up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 8:22 PM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    GAMRican saidIf you can, and want to, provide authentic advice to him, then do so. Otherwise, demure and direct him elsewhere for his advice. Another option is to charge him for personal training services.


    I actually gave him advice a couple times. And he told me today he feels a lot stronger! and that he has improved on bench and deadlift. Guess that's a positive in the end...


    There is never a downside to authentic generosity of spirit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 09, 2014 11:53 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI would handle it just as you're doing - with style and an inner confidence. I wouldn't mention anything about your brief past with the guy. You've moved on - and you're looking fine now.

    Once in high school I was a twink - skinny, too tall, no muscle. Nobody called me out about it, luckily. There was a guy a few years older than I was, and I thought he was the hottest thing I'd seen in real life. He never noticed me when I was a twink, and I never had the guts to speak to him.

    I started playing water polo, and beefing up. I continued in college and all the work outs, diet improvements, and just naturally aging well helped me change my whole look. Guess who I see at a pool party one night? The stud from a few years back. He approached ME at the party and said "Wow. You're looking better!" Huge props for me at the time, coming from him.

    I'm thinking the guy you're mentioning at the gym - who wasn't interested a few years ago, NOW sees something in you he likes - and wants to know better. Go with it. I did in my case, and turned it into a summer-long hook up.


    I think your situation is a tiny bit different though. He never noticed you... but who knows if it was cause of your body icon_smile.gif he never insulted you or anything of that type. So, that seems like a fun summer.

    I would NEVER go on a date or uphook, shoo hook, hookup with him. I mean... he was pretty hateful to me years ago. And while i believe people can change and all that. I can't bring myself to be with someone who wouldn't accept me as i was then. And only does so now cause of my physical appearance icon_smile.gif but... that's just my personal way of thinking.
  • Matthew56

    Posts: 394

    Jul 10, 2014 12:50 PM GMT
    Lol you just found out that gay men are pretty shallow we of course he is gonna be nice to you now that you are in shape