Is It Time to Lower Your Standards?

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    Jul 11, 2014 6:09 AM GMT
    Interesting premise that's totally pertinent to RJ:
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    Our mate preferences have been shaped by natural selection’s obsession with physical attractiveness and resources as well as the messages our friends, families and favorite shows transmit about sweethearts and soul mates. And it is at the start of relationships, when we need to make smart long-term decisions, that we are least likely to do so because we’re in the throes of lust, passion and romance.

    http://www.ozy.com/resolved/is-it-time-to-lower-your-standards/32500.article
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    Jul 11, 2014 6:32 AM GMT
    a lot of people do. they all think they are and/or deserve a 10. good luck with that :p
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    Jul 11, 2014 6:39 AM GMT
    This is how many end


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  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Jul 11, 2014 7:47 AM GMT
    Isn't that the truth. So many guys think they are in better shape and better looking than they are and seek even better looking.
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    Jul 11, 2014 2:52 PM GMT
    I never understood that standards thing, is going after people you are genuinely attracted to a bad thing?
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    Jul 11, 2014 2:55 PM GMT
    BillyBrown saidI never understood that standards thing, is going after people you are genuinely attracted to a bad thing?

    QFT
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    Jul 11, 2014 3:26 PM GMT
    buddycat saidIsn't that the truth. So many guys think they are in better shape and better looking than they are and seek even better looking.


    I was kinda the opposite... assumed most were out of my league until the one time I said WTF and went for it... that was 11 years ago & we're still together.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Jul 11, 2014 4:37 PM GMT
    Standards? I'm reading RJ and the talk is of standards?!
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    Jul 11, 2014 4:42 PM GMT
    Bloody oath , PERSONALITY is what counts !
    You might be attracted to beauty , but deep down , we all are more interested by the bloke's personality icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 11, 2014 4:43 PM GMT
    I'll lower my standards when there are no hot guys left. Until then...
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    Jul 11, 2014 5:07 PM GMT
    The problem with the entire thing is that you have standards! Not to say you can't have likes/dislikes or preferences but if you're setting a bar, you're setting yourself up to either fail or miss potentially great guys. Why do we need to set the bar first, instead be open and recognize that everyone has something to offer and from that we determine whether it's an offering that we're interested in.

    Sure eye candy is tempting but I've always found that I feel less intimidated by someone I feel is average and I feel more comfortable around that person than someone that is the constant attraction for everyone else around me. I like average with motivation, initiative and a desire to constantly maintain or improve. Physical attraction is natural but can really mess with a persons psyche if they use it solely for their standards.
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    Jul 11, 2014 5:25 PM GMT
    I am only ever with beautiful guys because in my eyes they are. I tell them they are sexy, hot, beautiful, etc. whether by typical gay standards (abs, pecs, biceps, perfect hair, bubble butt, chiseled chin) they are or not. Something about them I found attractive (usually their smile/lips or eyes) enough to make me want to get to know them more. People are more than just their body parts.

    I hate to make general statements about people but the strikingly beautiful are usually full of themselves, especially in the gay world. I usually steer clear of them. In fact, I like the "flawed" ones; they're more real - nose a bit crooked, teeth a little less than perfectly straight and a shade below blinding white (what is it with the teeth as white as Chiclets?), thick untweezed eyebrows, natural body not looking like they live in the gym and live off steroids and protein shakes, natural unshaven bodies, etc. I think the "perfect" ones would be difficult to be in a relationship with because for me that attempt to be perfect screams insecurity.
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    Jul 11, 2014 5:36 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI am only ever with beautiful guys because in my eyes they are. I tell them they are sexy, hot, beautiful, etc. whether by typical gay standards (abs, pecs, biceps, perfect hair, bubble butt, chiseled chin) they are or not. Something about them I found attractive (usually their smile/lips or eyes) enough to make me want to get to know them more. People are more than just their body parts.

    I hate to make general statements about people but the strikingly beautiful are usually full of themselves, especially in the gay world. I usually steer clear of them. In fact, I like the "flawed" ones; they're more real - nose a bit crooked, teeth a little less than perfectly straight and a shade below blinding white (what is it with the teeth as white as Chiclets?), thick untweezed eyebrows, natural body not looking like they live in the gym and live off steroids and protein shakes, natural unshaven bodies, etc. I think the "perfect" ones would be difficult to be in a relationship with because for me that attempt to be perfect screams insecurity.


    You can't aspire to those type of men anyway. Keep wishing.
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    Jul 11, 2014 5:43 PM GMT
    kevex said
    UndercoverMan saidI am only ever with beautiful guys because in my eyes they are. I tell them they are sexy, hot, beautiful, etc. whether by typical gay standards (abs, pecs, biceps, perfect hair, bubble butt, chiseled chin) they are or not. Something about them I found attractive (usually their smile/lips or eyes) enough to make me want to get to know them more. People are more than just their body parts.

    I hate to make general statements about people but the strikingly beautiful are usually full of themselves, especially in the gay world. I usually steer clear of them. In fact, I like the "flawed" ones; they're more real - nose a bit crooked, teeth a little less than perfectly straight and a shade below blinding white (what is it with the teeth as white as Chiclets?), thick untweezed eyebrows, natural body not looking like they live in the gym and live off steroids and protein shakes, natural unshaven bodies, etc. I think the "perfect" ones would be difficult to be in a relationship with because for me that attempt to be perfect screams insecurity.


    You can't aspire to those type of men anyway. Keep wishing.


    I'm not wishing, I have a better chance than you, ass wipe troll, and I don't mean troll as in the forum troll - more like the hideous under-the-bridge troll sort of way.

    Is it no wonder you're a mean spirited ugly soul?
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    Jul 11, 2014 5:49 PM GMT
    We want to believe the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. Initially we may be physically drawn towards people. Hormones, a person's personality can play a part in this. Talking to people and finding out about them, and getting to know them well is a better way to gauge. People may also mislead you because they want to put their best foot forward.
    You have to take an interest in the person, invest your time and energy then decide whether the person is right for you. Did you have rapport? Do they want to be your friend? Are they more interested in their own self or other people than you.
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    Jul 11, 2014 6:01 PM GMT
    Posters are speaking as if intelligence, kindness, thoughtfulness, an evolved sense of humor and a winning personality are mutually exclusive of a young handsome face, muscular body and horse-hung cock. They should RAISE their standards. As for me, I'm easy - all I want is a better version of me with more money.
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    Jul 11, 2014 6:28 PM GMT
    Why would you lower your standards? Just so you can have a ball-and-chain around your ankle? Does that appeal?
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    Jul 11, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    Depends on the guy, there are certain deal breakers I won't compromise but yeah, you just have to get to know him first. I tend to like tall, lean, toned guys so yeah being super big/muscles kinda a turn off for me.
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    Jul 11, 2014 7:57 PM GMT
    kevex saidThis is how many end


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    Is it any wonder?
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    Jul 11, 2014 8:39 PM GMT
    I don't like them to be too cute, I prefer them to be the desperate one wahaha icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 11, 2014 8:51 PM GMT
    Iam guilty of it.... Lol
    But here's the thing...I've pursued dudes that our "the same # as myself" or lower and its still the same b.s

    A lot of the issues are these damn apps like growlr, scruff, etc. That extend our 'dating radius" further than what's realistic... So you meet a dude that lives 1000+ miles away..that may or may not be real...that you'll never meet...and don't want anyone in your area....

    And now you gotta compete with those dudes too. Its a vicious circle.
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    Jul 11, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
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  • toastvenom

    Posts: 1020

    Jul 11, 2014 9:06 PM GMT
    if my standards were set any lower, id be fucking roadkill.
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    Jul 11, 2014 9:08 PM GMT
    Toastvenom saidif my standards were set any lower, id be fucking roadkill.



    Ahahahahah
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    Jul 11, 2014 10:53 PM GMT
    Yep, time to lower the standards and get me off of this single dude's bus that's going nowhere! Wait, isn't that where the gay relationship bus is going too? Hmmmm....