People you don't know who buddy list you

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    Jan 10, 2009 1:23 AM GMT
    Okay I get it if they hot list you, but what's up with random people you don't know, never talked to, don't even have any pics up, buddy listing you? This takes the whole "hi how are you" fake courtesy to a whole new level. That's like a stranger coming up to you saying "hey we're friends now!" How dumb are these people?

    short version: You sick bastards! I'm not your friend! (angry gaysian face --> icon_mad.gif)

    *folds arms*
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    Jan 10, 2009 1:32 AM GMT
    yeah, but you have a great ass, and you´re not bad looking icon_wink.gif We´re just hypnotised by you.

    And you ignored my offer to feed you Chipotle, though you can use your own spoon, jerk.

    icon_cool.gif
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    Jan 10, 2009 1:44 AM GMT
    lol man, cry me a fucking river.
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    Jan 10, 2009 1:52 AM GMT
    jakebenson saidOkay I get it if they hot list you, but what's up with random people you don't know, never talked to, don't even have any pics up, buddy listing you? This takes the whole "hi how are you" fake courtesy to a whole new level. That's like a stranger coming up to you saying "hey we're friends now!" How dumb are these people?

    short version: You sick bastards! I'm not your friend! (angry gaysian face --> icon_mad.gif)

    *folds arms*


    I think it's a valid question. (Valid question, but the manner of expression above is typically questionable)

    Why do people who dont know you buddy-list you? Hotlisting makes sense. They can just look at your pics and decide if they think you are hot. But what does buddy-listing mean when you dont know the person?

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    Jan 10, 2009 1:53 AM GMT
    why did you just reply to a question...With a question?
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    Jan 10, 2009 1:59 AM GMT
    Fable saidwhy did you just reply to a question...With a question?

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    Jan 10, 2009 2:31 AM GMT
    Caslon8000 said
    Fable saidwhy did you just reply to a question...With a question?

    funny pictures


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    Jan 10, 2009 12:16 PM GMT
    If people like the vibe from your profile, or just like your pics a lot, then they want to be associated with you at a level closer than saying "rawr" (which is what hotlisting is). Especially if they don´t live somewhere where they are likely to meet someone like the person buddy listed. I kinda understand it.

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    Jan 10, 2009 12:19 PM GMT
    lol...I totally forgot I started this thread...YAY REPLIES!

    Fable saidwhy did you just reply to a question...With a question?

    Because I'm JEWISH. Or Carlson is Jewish? Who are you talking to?


    Lostboy76 saidyeah, but you have a great ass, and you´re not bad looking icon_wink.gif We´re just hypnotised by you.

    Yes, and that's why you HOT LIST me. Not buddy list.


    Lostboy76 saidAnd you ignored my offer to feed you Chipotle, though you can use your own spoon, jerk.

    You and how many others offered the same thing. Besides is your spoon really large enough to span all the way from Florida to California? That's what I thought. Don't give me empty promises.


    Lostboy76 saidIf people like the vibe from your profile, or just like your pics a lot, then they want to be associated with you at a level closer than saying "rawr" (which is what hotlisting is). Especially if they don´t live somewhere where they are likely to meet someone like the person buddy listed. I kinda understand it.

    O'RLY?

    So that's why instead of actually writing me a message they click on a button to tell me I'm suddenly their buddy even though I have no clue who they are? Isn't there some sort of natural progression to becoming someone's buddy, like knowing who the fuck they are first?

    So, no it's not closer than saying "rawr." It's as superficial as clicking the hotlist button, because it's just another button to click. But the hotlist buttom is justifiable to click because it's supposed to be superficial. The buddy button is not. Do you understand the difference between thinking someone's hot and thinking someone's your buddy?



    Buckwheet saidlol man, cry me a fucking river.

    I just did. What are you blind?
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    Jan 10, 2009 1:22 PM GMT
    well if you ask to be fed Chipotle with a spoon and you complain when people offer then you will live a sad and empty life, my friend. icon_eek.gif Just sayin.

    The reason you don´t get it is that not everyone thinks like you or is, erm, so fucking loud. Some people are shy. So they see you, think mmm he looks fun and has a rubber chicken. I would like a friend like that. Now instead of writing to you and offering you chipotle as I did (and you so cruelly ignored) they buddy you, because the prospect of someone they have never met not replying to their email is so crushing that they can´t move and start hyperventilating.

    I´m keeping my Chipotle for myself.

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    Jan 10, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    They want to befriend you, but are too shy to start off with a conversation via e-mail. Take it as a compliment.
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    Jan 10, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    jakebenson said

    Fable saidwhy did you just reply to a question...With a question?

    Because I'm JEWISH. Or Carlson is Jewish? Who are you talking to?



    Use logic...
    You posted a question, Caslon posts another question without furthering the thread.

    Who do you think I'm talking to? Duh.
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    Jan 10, 2009 3:25 PM GMT
    SurrealLife saidThey want to befriend you, but are too shy to start off with a conversation via e-mail. Take it as a compliment.

    Oh, horsecrap...they just want to pump up their acceptibililty rating by making people thing I am their buddy. ...AS IF .... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 10, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
    Fable said
    jakebenson said

    Fable saidwhy did you just reply to a question...With a question?

    Because I'm JEWISH. Or Carlson is Jewish? Who are you talking to?



    Use logic...
    You posted a question, Caslon posts another question without furthering the thread.

    Not totally. there was a posting in between that sort of dissed the OP's question. So I first posted my support for the question and then restated the question without some of the same social aspersions associated with the people. The subtle differences may have escaped the dull of mind, simple of wit, just plain dumb, I see.

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    Jan 10, 2009 3:49 PM GMT
    Lostboy76 saidwell if you ask to be fed Chipotle with a spoon and you complain when people offer then you will live a sad and empty life, my friend. icon_eek.gif Just sayin.

    The reason you don´t get it is that not everyone thinks like you or is, erm, so fucking loud. Some people are shy. So they see you, think mmm he looks fun and has a rubber chicken. I would like a friend like that. Now instead of writing to you and offering you chipotle as I did (and you so cruelly ignored) they buddy you, because the prospect of someone they have never met not replying to their email is so crushing that they can´t move and start hyperventilating.

    I´m keeping my Chipotle for myself.

    These people need to seek professional help, not lamely use the buddy list.

    For me, receiving a buddy-list request from someone I have never communicated with reflects weirdly on the sender and makes me way less likely to reach out to be a buddy. I usually respond with faux expressions of being so flattered so I can lead into asking why he did that....in case I need ot add another body guard to my security detail to handle the extra adoring fan.

    cat
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    Jan 10, 2009 4:01 PM GMT
    I can see where he's coming from to some degree. On one hand you have random people who you've never spoken to just pop up and send a buddy request for gee wiz. It's a bit creepy especially when if they read your profile you say things like " I don't like random buddy/hotlist requests." On the other hand they figure with a buddy request being sent it might interest you to pursue a friendship with them and possibly more because in short most people don't like sending messages when a one-button click can say much more (supposedly).

    I gonna call BS on the whole shy tactic. That's a cop out if I ever heard one. There's no reason for anyone to be shy over the interent and if they were shy then they would never click on the buddy button. They would instead just be the people who have viewed you several times.

    However creepy and displeasing the whole thing is though, JB, you have the power. They aren't your friends until you accpet them as such meaning you click the "accept" button on their profile to seal the deal otherwise it's just an empty invitation. You don't have to reply back to them if you don't want to either. Most might view it as rude for not replying but given the nature of how you're being approached (in this case with random requests) one could say it's rude too. If anything the recieving of random requests is just annoying but nothing to get reall steamed about.

    It's flattering but if you don't like it then you should say so in your profile and if you continue to recieve such requests then clearly they aren't too respectful of your feelings and thus it helps making a blocking decision much easier. That's how I roll. As I said it's flattering but I can't take the person seriously when approached in a way I don't like especially when it's in my profile. I can't speak for anyone else but it makes me question their reading and comphrension skills.
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    Jan 10, 2009 4:03 PM GMT
    Caslon8000 said
    Fable said
    jakebenson said

    Fable saidwhy did you just reply to a question...With a question?

    Because I'm JEWISH. Or Carlson is Jewish? Who are you talking to?



    Use logic...
    You posted a question, Caslon posts another question without furthering the thread.

    Not totally. there was a posting in between that sort of dissed the OP's question. So I first posted my support for the question and then restated the question without some of the same social aspersions associated with the people. The subtle differences may have escaped the dull of mind, simple of wit, just plain dumb, I see.

    funny pictures of cats with captions


    Did you just call me dumb? Because if i seem to remember, a certain senile member of the rj community couldn't quite work out what under 16 meant. Do you remember?
    Huh?
    S'what I thought.
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    Jan 10, 2009 4:05 PM GMT
    Caslon: Have a poem. It was written by Philip Larkin.


    What do they think has happened, the old fools,
    To make them like this? Do they somehow suppose
    It's more grown-up when your mouth hangs open and drools,
    And you keep on pissing yourself, and can't remember
    Who called this morning? Or that, if they only chose,
    They could alter things back to when they danced all night,
    Or went to their wedding, or sloped arms some September?
    Or do they fancy there's really been no change,
    And they've always behaved as if they were crippled or tight,
    Or sat through days of thin continuous dreaming
    Watching light move? If they don't (and they can't), it's strange:
    Why aren't they screaming?

    At death, you break up: the bits that were you
    Start speeding away from each other for ever
    With no one to see. It's only oblivion, true:
    We had it before, but then it was going to end,
    And was all the time merging with a unique endeavour
    To bring to bloom the million-petaled flower
    Of being here. Next time you can't pretend
    There'll be anything else. And these are the first signs:
    Not knowing how, not hearing who, the power
    Of choosing gone. Their looks show that they're for it:
    Ash hair, toad hands, prune face dried into lines -
    How can they ignore it?

    Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms
    Inside your head, and people in them, acting.
    People you know, yet can't quite name; each looms
    Like a deep loss restored, from known doors turning,
    Setting down a lamp, smiling from a stair, extracting
    A known book from the shelves; or sometimes only
    The rooms themselves, chairs and a fire burning,
    The blown bush at the window, or the sun's
    Faint friendliness on the wall some lonely
    Rain-ceased midsummer evening. That is where they live:
    Not here and now, but where all happened once.
    This is why they give

    An air of baffled absence, trying to be there
    Yet being here. For the rooms grow farther, leaving
    Incompetent cold, the constant wear and tear
    Of taken breath, and them crouching below
    Extinction's alp, the old fools, never perceiving
    How near it is. This must be what keeps them quiet:
    The peak that stays in view wherever we go
    For them is rising ground. Can they never tell
    What is dragging them back, and how it will end? Not at night?
    Not when the strangers come? Never, throughout
    The whole hideous, inverted childhood? Well,
    We shall find out.
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    Jan 10, 2009 5:36 PM GMT
    cry me a fucking river.

    Buckwheat, you make me laugh


    But, Fable, you and Mr. Larkin make me cry.

    Another perspective, this not so much on being old as growing gracefully into middle age:

    DIVIDING CLASSICS FROM ANTIQUES

    At forty-five, your warranty expires.
    Still, there's five years before the maker stops
    providing parts, and ten before the tires
    get hard to find, or you can make the shop
    mechanics laugh by simply driving in,
    and no one fights to put you on the lift
    to see your underside, or take a spin
    and see if there's still power when they shift
    from high to overdrive, or tots inquire
    if you're, perhaps, an oldtime movie prop,
    or part of a parade. Still, it's a gift,
    at forty-five to run, much less run good,
    and look far newer than a classic should.


    - William John Watkins

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    Jan 10, 2009 5:57 PM GMT
    jakebenson saidOkay I get it if they hot list you, but what's up with random people you don't know, never talked to, don't even have any pics up, buddy listing you?


    I don't get it either....
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    Jan 10, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    jakebenson said...That's like a stranger coming up to you saying "hey we're friends now!" How dumb are these people?


    Yeah, better if these online groups offered a "Slightly Acquainted List" and a "Mildly Interested List" or maybe an "Almost Buddy List" in addition to just a "Buddy List." How about a "Keeping Tabs" list, or "Good Guys List"?

    I take the Buddy List as not much more than a tracking device for guys who've interested me online, either through their forum posts here on RJ, or who've sent me a pleasant email. I'm neither stalking them nor enfatuated with them, just wanna remember who they are as good guys.

    Maybe there is a need for something not named "Buddy List" that lets us do that. But in the meantime, don't read too much into my buddy-listing you. And BTW, I usually unlock my private photos at the same time, so you know who this guy is who's listing you. (and no, they're not nudes).
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    Jan 10, 2009 7:22 PM GMT
    Just ignore them.
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    Jan 10, 2009 8:00 PM GMT
    Maybe the guy has a short in their mouse, a twitch in their index finger or thought they were hitting the page back button and they buddy listed you by accident.

    I smell self importance and it stinks! lol
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    Jan 10, 2009 8:05 PM GMT
    Fable said
    jakebenson said

    Fable saidwhy did you just reply to a question...With a question?

    Because I'm JEWISH. Or Carlson is Jewish? Who are you talking to?



    Use logic...
    You posted a question, Caslon posts another question without furthering the thread.

    Who do you think I'm talking to? Duh.


    He was agreeing with my question. Use logic, moron.
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    Jan 10, 2009 8:11 PM GMT
    SurrealLife saidThey want to befriend you, but are too shy to start off with a conversation via e-mail. Take it as a compliment.


    Too shy to SEND A MESSAGE? you mean to say there's hundreds of gay people who get nervous when they go to type so they result to hitting a button? Try too LAZY to send a message. Because that's the case. The internet is DESIGNED to avoid social confrontation, but now instead of typing something you have to hit a BUTTON to be a friend with someone who has NO IDEA who you are? Lame.

    No, I don't take that as a compliment at all. I would never want to be buddies with people who aren't "shy" or "lazy" to the point where they communicate that they want to be your buddy via a one-click button and fail to understand that even simple definition of being an online acquaintance requires you to KNOW THE PERSON or TALK TO THEM first. RJ might as well have a "I'm married to this person" button at the rate the buddy button is misunderstood.