UndercoverMan said^ But you skirted my point.
He (Mr. Webb) basically boiled down gayness to a genital act (sex).
"Are you gay?" asked Obama.
"Only when I have sex," Webb quipped.
And you:
...my gay mentor told me 20 years ago, the magic words that helped me come out of my denial: "Being gay isn't about behavior & appearance, it's merely about which sex attracts you." So you really don't agree with his statement.
And Mr. Webb isn't gay "only when [he] has sex" because he obviously wouldn't have brought up equal rights for gays when he wasn't having sex. It (his gayness) is obviously on his mind at other times, so he is NOT only aware of his homosexuality when having sex.
I think your missing the context:
"When Obama went up to pay at Austin's famous Franklin Barbecue, the Chronicle reported Webb, who was working the cash register, "threw his hand down and slapped the counter dramatically."
"Equal rights for gay people!" Webb declared."
Webb's first comment was about Gay Rights, and in a VERY dramatic fashion! Pretty aggressive to a President I might add! But even that was done self-mockingly. Otherwise the SS would have been on him.
Doing that I can safely say he's a Gay Activist first and foremost. Obama got that...so did the Secret Service.
"Only when I have sex" was a throw away line from Comedian who does DRAG. Obama already knew he was Gay....look

The irony is that Webb knows he looks Gay, acts Gay. He's 100% Gay all the time. As an activist, by reducing it down to just that one element made it ironic and funny!!!!