Commitment

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2014 9:33 PM GMT
    Who else here is afraid of commitment?
    Like, you love the idea of a relationship but, start to push people away when you start getting close.

    Why does this happen and what can I/we do to get better about not pushing people away?
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    Jul 14, 2014 9:57 PM GMT
    It could just be that you like the way your life is right now or you may be too busy and a relationship might just complicate it so you shy away from relationships.

    It could also be that you may have some trust issues or might be afraid of getting your heart broken.

    Fitting, for you: icon_smile.gif


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    Jul 14, 2014 10:41 PM GMT
    ^^^Whatever he said above, I like that shit. Also, I get overwhelmed easily, so I tend to take things super slow
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    Jul 15, 2014 12:17 AM GMT
    a relationship and or marriage, your giving away part of your life so there should be some degree of fear.
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    Jul 15, 2014 1:10 AM GMT
    Kuestion saidIt could just be that you like the way your life is right now or you may be too busy and a relationship might just complicate it so you shy away from relationships.

    It could also be that you may have some trust issues or might be afraid of getting your heart broken.


    I feel like I've been using that excuse forever though... icon_neutral.gif
    I definitely do have trust issues, but I want to figure out how to overcome those.



    pellaz saida relationship and or marriage, your giving away part of your life so there should be some degree of fear.


    So much truth.
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    Jul 15, 2014 1:12 AM GMT
    BillyBrown said^^^Whatever he said above, I like that shit. Also, I get overwhelmed easily, so I tend to take things super slow


    I try to do that too.
    It just seems that I go too slow for some guys. They'll get bored if we don't have a "title" by a certain time.
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    Jul 15, 2014 1:29 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim said
    Kuestion saidIt could just be that you like the way your life is right now or you may be too busy and a relationship might just complicate it so you shy away from relationships.

    It could also be that you may have some trust issues or might be afraid of getting your heart broken.


    I feel like I've been using that excuse forever though... icon_neutral.gif
    I definitely do have trust issues, but I want to figure out how to overcome those.


    Well if you know the origins of your issue, you might be better prepared to deal with it and see how and why it is holding you back. Be cognizant of that because it is important as it gave you a life lesson.

    Trust is not something that is instantaneous, it grows, so let it. Take the chance to put yourself in a position to trust someone and know that everyone you meet is not the same person who betrayed your trust.
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    Jul 15, 2014 1:36 AM GMT
    Kuestion said
    Take the chance to put yourself in a position to trust someone and know that everyone you meet is not the same person who betrayed your trust.


    I definitely want to try.

    I've started seeing this guy a while ago and recently it's been seeming to get more serious. I'm almost certain he wants to take that next step. I, on the otherhand, am thinking "how do I get out of this?", like I always do. This guy is good though, I don't want to push him away.
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    Jul 15, 2014 1:55 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim said
    I've started seeing this guy a while ago and recently it's been seeming to get more serious. I'm almost certain he wants to take that next step. I, on the otherhand, am thinking "how do I get out of this?", like I always do. This guy is good though, I don't want to push him away.

    Tough call. Only you can decide. Having a committed partner is the most wonderful thing in the world. Mine is in the next room. This thread makes we want to rush over and give him a big hug. What the hell...

    OK, back. I really did give him a hug. He looked as puzzled as you probably are.

    Well, anyway, there's no pleasure on Earth like having a husband/partner. But the right one, of course. And that's the problem we all face. Only YOU can decide that.

    You can also make him your boyfriend. That's also a commitment, that can be monogamous if you guys want, but kinda less permanent than being partners. You typically continue to live apart, but see each other exclusively. The marriage vows can come later, though in California I believe you can make it official when you wish.
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    Jul 15, 2014 1:55 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim said
    Kuestion said
    Take the chance to put yourself in a position to trust someone and know that everyone you meet is not the same person who betrayed your trust.


    I definitely want to try.

    I've started seeing this guy a while ago and recently it's been seeming to get more serious. I'm almost certain he wants to take that next step. I, on the otherhand, am thinking "how do I get out of this?", like I always do. This guy is good though, I don't want to push him away.


    Instead of thinking negatively about the situation, try thinking about it more positively. You say he's good, isn't that a good thing? There are many people who would wish to have a good person in their life right now. Count your blessings, not your faults. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 15, 2014 3:54 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim said
    BillyBrown said^^^Whatever he said above, I like that shit. Also, I get overwhelmed easily, so I tend to take things super slow


    I try to do that too.
    It just seems that I go too slow for some guys. They'll get bored if we don't have a "title" by a certain time.


    That's the thing you need to go at your own pace. I know it is hard especially considering that the other guy genuinely seems to care. But if he really does he will understand otherwise it is not the right one; like I said hard to accept.
    I tried to catch up emotionally with the last guy I dated, but it made me resent him & completely cancelled out all the feelings I had for him. Just trust yourself & ALWAYS do what feels right for you. If it doesn't work out, move onto the next once.
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    Jul 15, 2014 4:00 AM GMT
    Find a dude that has similar interests.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 15, 2014 7:14 AM GMT
    I am committed to remaining single icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Jul 16, 2014 7:42 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said

    Tough call. Only you can decide. Having a committed partner is the most wonderful thing in the world. Mine is in the next room. This thread makes we want to rush over and give him a big hug. What the hell...

    OK, back. I really did give him a hug. He looked as puzzled as you probably are.

    Well, anyway, there's no pleasure on Earth like having a husband/partner. But the right one, of course. And that's the problem we all face. Only YOU can decide that.

    You can also make him your boyfriend. That's also a commitment, that can be monogamous if you guys want, but kinda less permanent than being partners. You typically continue to live apart, but see each other exclusively. The marriage vows can come later, though in California I believe you can make it official when you wish.


    You and your husband just so cute. :^]

    You bring up good points. There is more than just Exclusively being in a permanent relationship. I think my main issue may just be me psyching myself out.
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    Jul 16, 2014 7:45 AM GMT
    kevex saidFind a dude that has similar interests.


    Obviously...
    This isn't about having similar interests. That's common sense. It's about me pushing good people away when they want to commit.