What do you do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2009 4:48 AM GMT
    When all your chances have run out because you didn't make an effort.


    but it's taken you this long to realize what it is you need to do, only now the person who you're trying to fix things with doesn't believe you; no matter what you say or do?








    I'm really scared that I'm not going to be able to show how much I care and this relationship is going to be fucked. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because now when I really want to and know how, they won't let me.

    I don't know what to do. I've really fucked myself over right now and I fear I may lose someone I really love. and I can't even talk to her on the phone right now. and it's all my fucking fault.


    oh god I don't know what I'm going to do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2009 5:10 PM GMT
    Sounds serious!icon_surprised.gif

    Well as Cicero supposedly said: "Rashness is a characteristic of youth, prudence that of mellowed age and discretion the better part of valor". When you can comprehend and appreciate that you'll likely know what to do. For now proceed with discretion.icon_cool.gif

  • upsguy68

    Posts: 270

    Jan 10, 2009 5:14 PM GMT
    All you can do is put it all on the line! The rest is up to her. If she doesn't go for it, at least you tried. Then deal with it and move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2009 6:00 PM GMT
    There is no easy fix. If you've destroyed something, then your choices are to either accept responsibility, learn from the experience and move on in your life, cognisant that you won't repeat the actions (or lack of action) that got where you are now, or you can dwell in your error and keep making similar mistakes.

    If there is any possibility of reconciliation, then it may be up to her to accept your apologies or not. You have no control over that.

    No one is ever a perfect good person. The issue is whether or not you learn from the mistakes that you've made that would make you less of a good man. Sometimes we are hurtful out of neglect, ignorance, selfishness, lack of empathy or compassion. If you see that error in yourself, or understand it in a balanced way when it is pointed out to you, you ALWAYS have the choice to correct it or not.

    It may take time to know the permanence of the damage. If you decide to correct the error in yourself, then if the damage isn't permanent, she may come back into your life. Also, if you take corrective action, in the future you may realize other aspects of this in hindsight that you were blinded of because of the faulty way you had addressed it initially.

    I can site personal examples and experience, but I won't do them in a public forum as it would be inappropriate. If you wish, ask me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2009 6:00 PM GMT
    There is no easy fix. If you've destroyed something, then your choices are to either accept responsibility, learn from the experience and move on in your life, cognisant that you won't repeat the actions (or lack of action) that got where you are now, or you can dwell in your error and keep making similar mistakes.

    If there is any possibility of reconciliation, then it may be up to her to accept your apologies or not. You have no control over that.

    No one is ever a perfect good person. The issue is whether or not you learn from the mistakes that you've made that would make you less of a good man. Sometimes we are hurtful out of neglect, ignorance, selfishness, lack of empathy or compassion. If you see that error in yourself, or understand it in a balanced way when it is pointed out to you, you ALWAYS have the choice to correct it or not.

    It may take time to know the permanence of the damage. If you decide to correct the error in yourself, then if the damage isn't permanent, she may come back into your life. Also, if you take corrective action, in the future you may realize other aspects of this in hindsight that you were blinded of because of the faulty way you had addressed it initially.

    I can site personal examples and experience, but I won't do them in a public forum as it would be inappropriate. If you wish, ask me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2009 7:34 PM GMT
    well after a long night on the phone and going to bed around 3, I think not all is lost.


    I tend to be a little uhm....assuming? when I get upset.

    thanks for the advice, I really just needed to get some thoughts out into the air; and it made me think about the whole situation.






    Thanks for letting me vent, Realjock!