Does physical attraction REALLY matter?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 2:09 PM GMT
    If you had the magic ingredients to create your ideal guy, how much emphasis do you put on physical appearance? Yes, I think we all agree there needs to be some physical attraction, but then again beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Does brains outweigh appearance? Or how about just the ease of having a conversation ( a lot of jocks who can't string 4 words together).

    Share your thoughts on how much you consider appearance when talking to a guy.
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    Jul 18, 2014 2:15 PM GMT
    I'm mostly attraced to behavior and not so much appearance. Appearance is also important, but behavior has an upper hand for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 2:16 PM GMT
    Physical appearance is something that we could all change in the way we want whenever and wherever we want, but it's hard to change the inside of a person
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    Jul 18, 2014 2:23 PM GMT
    OK, I'll be the one to take the low road...a good conversation is
    a definite bonus, and the makings of a long term relationship, but
    without physical attraction (the ability for him to get my dick to stand
    up), he's not a lover, and without the sex, he's just another friend.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jul 18, 2014 2:32 PM GMT
    The OP is conflating physical attraction and physical attractiveness. They are not one in the same. Physical attraction is paramount to any romantic relationship, while physical attractiveness is entirely subjective and what attracts one person will not necessarily be the same as another.
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    Jul 18, 2014 2:49 PM GMT
    Having a good mental match becomes important pretty soon in any relationship.

    In a mismatched pair, the more intelligent one will become bored and the lesser intelligent will feel condescension.

    Getting each other's humor is the most important connection of all, from my experience.
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    Jul 18, 2014 3:22 PM GMT
    Wow! You guys have some amazing answers. Thanks for your responses!
  • countmichael

    Posts: 11

    Jul 18, 2014 7:06 PM GMT
    Sexually appealing in my eyes
    Also,nice guy.no drama, sweet, intelligence
    All play in the mix
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    Jul 18, 2014 8:40 PM GMT
    Thanks again guys for responding! It seems to be the consensus that looks play a back seat to other more important qualities like brains, humor, and just plain common sense (yes, that's a huge one!)

    Then now answer this question, why do guys judge other guys first and foremost on looks and not even give the guys a chance to show "the other important qualities."
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    Jul 18, 2014 11:33 PM GMT
    I think appearance, physical attractiveness is pretty important. Now, we're just talking about the outside. The personality (inside) factor has to be interesting and great too to keep me interested. However, having said that, I dated many **Nice** stable guys who look great on paper but the attraction never seem to be there for me. I mean, I liked them, liked them but ...just not as much as they liked me. One of those case of **He was into me more than I was into him**. And the reverse happened to me too. icon_eek.gif
  • glowstik

    Posts: 150

    Jul 19, 2014 12:51 AM GMT
    Yes!
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    Jul 19, 2014 10:57 AM GMT
    HydesOut saidOK, I'll be the one to take the low road...a good conversation is
    a definite bonus, and the makings of a long term relationship, but
    without physical attraction (the ability for him to get my dick to stand
    up), he's not a lover, and without the sex, he's just another friend.

    Pretty much this.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jul 19, 2014 3:24 PM GMT

    There are two sides in all of us, the animal side and the more complex and develop emotional/spiritual side. Having said that there are several factors to keep in mind! if you are the emotional and sensitive type, an emotional/spiritual connection is extremely important to your own personal growth and overall self satisfaction. If you are the type more in touch with the animal side of your human nature, as in all aspects of the physical that your body responds to, whether it be visual or physical stimuli, then I guess sex plays a huge part of your own human evolution?

    I have experienced both side of human nature, quite thoroughly and completely to its full potential. I've been fortunate enough to have the influence of very positive and wise people in my life, and also at being blessed to reciprocate; as gratitude plays a huge part in my everyday life. It helps me respond and find answers to things and situations, I have yet to understand.

    Its being my experience, that my "being" is definitely not one dimensional. A diamond to the naked eye have many facets, that which makes it stand out, right!? but too often our primal perception of its radiance, beauty, and worth, is in my opinion short sighted and much distorted. Primal human needs like a faceted Diamond are at best superficial, as it only responds to how we see and how it makes our bodies feel; I sure hope that as human beings we are more then that. A Diamond's radiance, beauty, and value derives from the chemical compounds trapped within its light giving properties, but its light given properties go much much deeper, as it turns out a Mineralogist knows that its radiance is a result of what his naked eye can't see. What hides in its chemical composition is what makes a Diamond shine!! Humans are no different from this analogy. Indeed beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Real attraction is not what your eyes or needs perceives as beautiful or necessary, but how capable you are to see beauty in everything or everyone.

    An emotionally/spiritually driven person is much like a mineralogist, one who studies the core chemical composition of minerals, of which semi-precious and precious stones are made of; much like an emotionally/spiritually driven individual is interested and attractive to the deeper core/composition of the self. Unlike a Gemologist, as in a physically and sexually driven individual, whose only concern/interest is the use and appearance of a gemstone's visual effect, as in sex appeal, to sastify his physical and physiological needs.

    Finally, I for one can't understand why gay men in particular have so many inadequacies within the many scale measurements of attraction? gosh I have no problem whatsoever responding to the countless physical, emotional, or sexual needs of anyone who is willing to open up to me, and I to them! as long as it is mutual of course.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Jul 19, 2014 4:45 PM GMT
    BeefyJock12 saidIf you had the magic ingredients to create your ideal guy, how much emphasis do you put on physical appearance? Yes, I think we all agree there needs to be some physical attraction, but then again beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Does brains outweigh appearance? Or how about just the ease of having a conversation ( a lot of jocks who can't string 4 words together).

    Share your thoughts on how much you consider appearance when talking to a guy.


    My friend appearance can only go so far as a runaway model has when they get to walk on the stage! the walk is not only short, but the drama behind the stage is long and miserable! and like you stated on your profile, it is all about the journey!! so find someone who doesn't mind getting dirty, fall, or worry about how good he looks, so as long he is willing to join the journey with you!
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    Jul 19, 2014 11:35 PM GMT
    BeefyJock12 said Then now answer this question, why do guys judge other guys first and foremost on looks and not even give the guys a chance to show "the other important qualities."

    Because the first thing you see about someone is how he looks. The other important qualities only manifest themselves over time as you get to know him.
    Unless you are willing to spend the time to get to know everyone well enough to fairly judge their character you will rule out most potential dates on the superficial looks factor.
  • Jockasian703

    Posts: 73

    Jul 22, 2014 5:53 PM GMT
    Yes, it matters imo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    Yeah, I think it matters to some degree, but chemistry is even more important and better.
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    Jul 22, 2014 6:30 PM GMT
    Truppensturm saidI'm mostly attraced to behavior and not so much appearance. Appearance is also important, but behavior has an upper hand for me.


    +1
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jul 24, 2014 7:49 AM GMT
    Yeah... I do feel that physical attraction is important. Without it, having a relationship would be pretty difficult. Not saying impossible but you know what I mean. Some guys/girls really could care less about physical attraction but others are different. But the best thing about physical attraction is that it varies and not everyone has the same taste.

    I mean for example, I'm not really attraccted to the runway model look and some traits that are deemed "unattractive" aren't so to me like for example, I think that big noses can look quite cute.

    Anyway, back on topic. While looks are a bit important, you can't rule out the personality. If you just get with someone just for the looks, well, don't be surprised if they don't have an ideal personality for you. But yeah, that's just my opinion.
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    Jul 24, 2014 1:25 PM GMT
    bri_66 said
    HydesOut saidOK, I'll be the one to take the low road...a good conversation is
    a definite bonus, and the makings of a long term relationship, but
    without physical attraction (the ability for him to get my dick to stand
    up), he's not a lover, and without the sex, he's just another friend.

    Pretty much this.


    Haha word.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2014 9:20 PM GMT
    Premedmuscjock saidYeah, I think it matters to some degree, but chemistry is even more important and better.


    On this, the Doctor has spoken.
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    Jul 25, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    For me, the physical attraction is the first impression that draws me to want to get to know the person.

    However, I've also become deeply attracted to a few guys that are not really my usual attraction at all. After getting to know them, their personality, their character, I couldn't keep them out of my mind! So physical attraction took the back seat after that.

    I think men are wired to be visually stimulated. So we are drawn first to physical attraction. I also heard of a survey that said #1 need for men is to have a physically attractive spouse.
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    Jul 25, 2014 12:30 AM GMT
    Yes, it does. It even matters for other animals. Indian peafowl for example. The male Indian peafowls use their colorful feathers to attract females. Physical attraction is normal. It's in our nature.
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    Jul 25, 2014 3:28 PM GMT

    Yes, physical attraction matters. But only upto a certain mark. It's hard to find a person attractive who is utterly dumb.
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    Aug 01, 2014 3:31 AM GMT
    Personally, I don't put much emphasis on appearance. As long as he looks like he takes care of himself, that's what mostly matters as far as appearance goes for me. Sure, I have my preferences and find some guys much more attractive than others, but I would say personality is way more important (cliche, I know). After all, no one is going to look good forever, and I want someone to relate to and share my life with, not just someone that looks good when they take their shirt off.