Preference/attraction or Fetish?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 7:43 PM GMT
    Do y'all think there is a difference between fetishizing a group of people and preferring them?

    Ex: Say someone is attracted to chubby guys. Would that be considered a "fetish" (like being a chubby chaser) or is that just considered an attraction?
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    Jul 18, 2014 7:48 PM GMT
    I think it's a fetish if it's only sexual. If you find chubby guys attractive but you would also date one, then it's not really a fetish.

    Definition of fetish is: 'a need or desire for an object, body part, or activity for sexual excitement.'
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    Jul 18, 2014 7:56 PM GMT
    kevex saidI think it's a fetish if it's only sexual. If you find chubby guys attractive but you would also date one, then it's not really a fetish.

    Definition of fetish is: 'a need or desire for an object, body part, or activity for sexual excitement.'


    Ok, so if I want a (fill in the blank) guy in the bedroom but, not in a relationship, that would be considered a fetish?
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    Jul 18, 2014 7:59 PM GMT
    ACRO_Slim said
    kevex saidI think it's a fetish if it's only sexual. If you find chubby guys attractive but you would also date one, then it's not really a fetish.

    Definition of fetish is: 'a need or desire for an object, body part, or activity for sexual excitement.'


    Ok, so if I want a (fill in the blank) guy in the bedroom but, not in a relationship, that would be considered a fetish?


    If you want him because of a specific physical attribute (i.e. blonde hair, beer belly, hairy chest,etc.) and you only focus on that aspect then yes, it's a fetish. It's like those nerdy boys that watch anime that fantasize about having an Asian girlfriend and only go for Asian girls.
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    Jul 18, 2014 9:11 PM GMT
    The underlying question is: Are fetishes necessarily bad? So what if I can only get off if the guy is a double amputee, ginger midget? If I am not hurting anyone, so what?

    Different strokes for different folks and so on and so on and scooby doo bee doo bee.

    Are there any gay double amputee ginger midgets in the house?

    Anyone?

    Hello?

    Is this mike on?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 18, 2014 9:27 PM GMT
    I think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.
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    Jul 18, 2014 9:32 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    I think you well explained it!
  • frogman89

    Posts: 418

    Jul 18, 2014 9:33 PM GMT
    A "fetish" implies that the "object, body part, or activity for sexual excitement" is vastly considered as an unusual act to sexuality.

    For example:
    Foot fetish. You don't need your feet to have sex. But some guys are aroused by touching or licking them, or have their cock between two feet.
    Piss. Piss has nothing to do with sex. But some guys feel high sexual satisfaction in being peed at or peeing at someone.

    Sexual interest in chubby guys or whatever would hence not fall into this category.



    Edit: Yeah, HottJoe was faster icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 18, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif
  • frogman89

    Posts: 418

    Jul 18, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, it's not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 9:52 PM GMT
    i always wonder that myself... i have my own views of what is ''fetish'' VS ''preference''

    If someone likes Asians cause they think we're all submissive and slaves to white cock. I think that is fetishizing in my opinion and i don't like that personally.

    Or when someone wants an African American because of ''BBC'' i see that as fetishization as well. A lot of the African American I've been with or dated felt this. They told me people expected them to be tops and to have a 10 inch dick When in fact they were bottoms and were average or so. And they would get laughed it if they didn't fit the ''BBC'' category. I've been with Asian men who also feel the same way about the ''small dick'' stereotype. Cause there are some men that have fetish for that as well.

    When you say you like a tall guy or something like that. I don't personally see that as fetish but preference. But others might see it as fetish... i guess it varies from person to person.
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    Jul 18, 2014 9:53 PM GMT
    frogman89 said
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, it's not.


    Yes it is. Hottjoe was completely incorrect with his definition. Fetish is not an act. Fetish is sexually desiring something strongly.
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    Jul 18, 2014 9:55 PM GMT
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif


    I wonder if you are trolling here too ? I am so suspicious recently
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    Jul 18, 2014 9:56 PM GMT
    Okajuurou said
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif


    I wonder if you are trolling here too ? I am so suspicious recently


    Nah, you're just kissing Hottjoes ass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 9:56 PM GMT
    kevex said
    frogman89 said
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, it's not.


    Yes it is. Hottjoe was completely incorrect with his definition. Fetish is not an act. Fetish is sexually desiring something strongly.


    Then what, blowjobs are fetish too? Anything sexual is fetish too then by your definitions? Tsk tsk
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    Jul 18, 2014 10:00 PM GMT
    Okajuurou said
    kevex said
    frogman89 said
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, it's not.


    Yes it is. Hottjoe was completely incorrect with his definition. Fetish is not an act. Fetish is sexually desiring something strongly.


    Then what, blowjobs are fetish too? Anything sexual is fetish too then by your definitions? Tsk tsk


    No, because dicks are sexual organs. A mouth and a butthole aren't. That's what makes rimming a fetish. Also, the OP asked about fetishizing groups of people, not sexual acts. Why did you and Hottjoe drastically change topic?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 10:02 PM GMT
    kevex said
    Okajuurou said
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif


    I wonder if you are trolling here too ? I am so suspicious recently


    Nah, you're just kissing Hottjoes ass.


    Ahh well, good bye then too!
    Hit ignore button
  • frogman89

    Posts: 418

    Jul 18, 2014 10:03 PM GMT
    kevex said
    Okajuurou said
    kevex said
    frogman89 said
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, it's not.


    Yes it is. Hottjoe was completely incorrect with his definition. Fetish is not an act. Fetish is sexually desiring something strongly.


    Then what, blowjobs are fetish too? Anything sexual is fetish too then by your definitions? Tsk tsk


    No, because dicks are sexual organs. A mouth and a butthole aren't. That's what makes rimming a fetish. Also, the OP asked about fetishizing groups of people, not sexual acts. Why did you and Hottjoe drastically change topic?

    Mouth, cock, pussy, ass. They are all sexual organs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 10:04 PM GMT
    frogman89 said
    kevex said
    Okajuurou said
    kevex said
    frogman89 said
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, it's not.


    Yes it is. Hottjoe was completely incorrect with his definition. Fetish is not an act. Fetish is sexually desiring something strongly.


    Then what, blowjobs are fetish too? Anything sexual is fetish too then by your definitions? Tsk tsk


    No, because dicks are sexual organs. A mouth and a butthole aren't. That's what makes rimming a fetish. Also, the OP asked about fetishizing groups of people, not sexual acts. Why did you and Hottjoe drastically change topic?

    Mouth, cock, pussy, ass. They are all sexual organs.


    Mouth and ass aren't sexual organs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 10:32 PM GMT
    Good question OP. I tend to think of it as fairly interchangeable, maybe depending on context.

    If I'm raised in a Jewish family and find myself drawn to other Jewish guys, that might likely be attraction. If I was raised by anti-Semites and the Jewish guy is forbidden fruit, then that attraction might be fetish though not necessarily so.

    So maybe it's a combination of context, expression and perception. And by perception I mean of the person acting and the person being acted upon.

    As we better understand sexuality, it could even be that some preferences are not even fetishes but orientations. Pedophilia, is that fetish, preference or orientation? Especially considering that they can't change themselves.

    I know there have been times when I've been targeted for being Jewish and a few times I thought it merely attraction which I'm okay with but twice I felt fetishized which made me uncomfortable. And once it was beyond fetish, it was some sort of admiration of Jewish guys--the guy even mimicked us as part of his character, what's that, chameleonizing?--and I was real uncomfortable with that.
  • frogman89

    Posts: 418

    Jul 18, 2014 10:35 PM GMT
    theantijock saidGood question OP. I tend to think of it as fairly interchangeable, maybe depending on context.

    If I'm raised in a Jewish family and find myself drawn to other Jewish guys, that might likely be attraction. If I was raised by anti-Semites and the Jewish guy is forbidden fruit, then that attraction might be fetish though not necessarily so.

    So maybe it's a combination of context, expression and perception. And by perception I mean of the person acting and the person being acted upon.

    As we better understand sexuality, it could even be that some preferences are not even fetishes but orientations. Pedophilia, is that fetish, preference or orientation? Especially considering that they can't change themselves.

    I know there have been times when I've been targeted for being Jewish and a few times I thought it merely attraction which I'm okay with but twice I felt fetishized which made me uncomfortable. And once it was beyond fetish, it was some sort of admiration of Jewish guys--the guy even mimicked us as part of his character, what's that, chameleonizing?--and I was real uncomfortable with that.

    That's neither a fetish, preference nor orientation. It's a disorder.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 10:39 PM GMT
    kevex said
    frogman89 said
    kevex said
    Okajuurou said
    kevex said
    frogman89 said
    kevex said
    HottJoe saidI think a preference is when you are most attracted to a certain type of guy. A fetish is a specific act that gets you off, which is usually something that isn't sexual to other people. For example, everyone pees, and most people don't see urination as a sexual act, so if you get off on watersports then that would be considered a fetish. Rimming on the other hand is kinky, but it's not a fetish. It's just part of some peoples' sexual repertoire.


    Rimming is a fetish icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, it's not.


    Yes it is. Hottjoe was completely incorrect with his definition. Fetish is not an act. Fetish is sexually desiring something strongly.


    Then what, blowjobs are fetish too? Anything sexual is fetish too then by your definitions? Tsk tsk


    No, because dicks are sexual organs. A mouth and a butthole aren't. That's what makes rimming a fetish. Also, the OP asked about fetishizing groups of people, not sexual acts. Why did you and Hottjoe drastically change topic?

    Mouth, cock, pussy, ass. They are all sexual organs.


    Mouth and ass aren't sexual organs.


    They are erogenous zones
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 10:47 PM GMT
    frogman89 said
    theantijock said Pedophilia, is that fetish, preference or orientation? Especially considering that they can't change themselves.


    That's neither a fetish, preference nor orientation. It's a disorder.


    Of course we now consider pedophilia a disorder in our contemporary society, and rightfully so, but hundreds of years ago, a thousand?

    What were once vices are now habits and vice versa.

    There was a time when Ruebenesque-sized women were the "gold" standard--they denoted wealth and health...and now.....icon_mad.gif
    230px-Bacchus01.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2014 10:49 PM GMT
    frogman89 saidThat's neither a fetish, preference nor orientation. It's a disorder.


    Well, I'm not sure exactly to what you refer. If pedophilia, we say disordered particularly because children who are not consenting require protection. Saying disordered does seem to clarify that but how about with those who are oriented towards other specific ages, not those who require protection like the very young or aged, then could we think of them as being oriented in that way?

    If referring to the chameleonizing, which in this instance was overboard and possibly some sort of disorder of not being comfortable with himself in his own skin, though otherwise the guy was a nice guy, that's actually something that affects pretty much everyone to some degree, not that crazy of course, but it's even called the chameleon effect, an unconscious mimicry which aids in building associations. Just like how if you lived in the south you might without thinking about it pick up a twang.

    Ooops, I see you highlighted. okay, well, just skip that 2nd graph haha.
  • frogman89

    Posts: 418

    Jul 18, 2014 10:51 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    frogman89 saidThat's neither a fetish, preference nor orientation. It's a disorder.


    Well, I'm not sure exactly to what you refer. If pedophilia, we say disordered particularly because children who are not consenting require protection. Saying disordered does seem to clarify that but how about with those who are oriented towards other specific ages, not those who require protection like the very young or aged, then could we think of them as being oriented in that way?

    If referring to the chameleonizing, which in this instance was overboard and possibly some sort of disorder of not being comfortable with himself in his own skin, though otherwise the guy was a nice guy, that's actually something that affects pretty much everyone to some degree, not that crazy of course, but it's even called the chameleon effect, an unconscious mimicry which aids in building associations. Just like how if you lived in the south you might without thinking about it pick up a twang.

    That's why I highlighted the part that I was referring to ;)
    (pedophelia)

    As to being attracted to older guys or that "chameleonizing"... I think both have very complex psychological backgrounds. I wouldn't call either a disorder though.