Threesome drama

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 1:38 AM GMT
    So I had my first threesome with a couple around a week ago. I live around an hour from them so the main partner I was speaking to was asking if I wanted to have a threesome picked me up and I had to stay the night because of the distance and how late it was. I met his boyfriend when I got there and we went from there. After the threesome I noticed how the main boyfriend that I had initiated the threesome with me was being very tentative to me more than to his boyfriend which was odd. We all slept in the same bed and he cuddled with me most of the night. I felt bad because I think his boyfriend was annoyed I mean I would have been to. So after I was dropped off the next day I got a text from the main boyfriend that initiated the threesome saying that he would like to keep in contact and that he felt a connection when we were sleeping which is something he wouldn't like to tell his boyfriend. Basically he said he likes me and his boyfriend knows that he picked me because he found me interesting and attractive and that we can control our behavior but cannot control how we feel. He said that he wouldn't do anything crazy like break up with his boyfriend immediately. We haven't spoke in a few days and then today he sent a picture saying we miss cuddling with you. icon_redface.gif

    I don't know what to do in this situation. I've never had anything like this happen before. I feel like it's not right because of his boyfriend and he should't be doing that. Should I stop talking to him? So nothing goes further. Was the relationship maybe already rocky since the one initiated a threesome?
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    Jul 20, 2014 1:53 AM GMT
    You and the couple had a good time...once.

    Can your conscience live with the potential outcome that you might become a wedge that breaks up a relationship?

    If so, then continue to see the guy.
    If not, then politely thank the guy for the threesome and never communicate with him again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 1:56 AM GMT
    sounds like he is using a 3some to find his new boyfriend. 3ways can be great or drama filled. I have had both, with my husband we have always been on the same page with anyone we play with..even noting if the guy is more into one of us. I have also played with other couples, taking care to ensure giving mutual attention to both.

    I would say run way fast...and not get into the drama with this couple.
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    Jul 20, 2014 2:09 AM GMT
    DTOBIN2013 saidsounds like he is using a 3some to find his new boyfriend. 3ways can be great or drama filled. I have had both, with my husband we have always been on the same page with anyone we play with..even noting if the guy is more into one of us. I have also played with other couples, taking care to ensure giving mutual attention to both.

    I would say run way fast...and not get into the drama with this couple.


    This.

    I've learned that there have to be agreements in place between the members of a couple, and between the couple and the "guest" of the couple.

    I've never been on the "couple" side of a threesome.
    I have been a "guest".

    As a guest, I always made sure that I "felt a good vibe" between myself and both members of the couple. I also sensed for any enmity of one partner or another about having a threesome in the first place. I had to sense that both members of the couple were "into me" and I had to be into both members of the couple. I would usually take the lead in "orchestrating" the evening so that everybody got to have a good time.

    Most importantly, I instinctively knew to end the scene and leave about a half hour before anybody wanted me to leave.

    I have been known to do repeat performances. Again, I instinctively call the whole thing to a close before I wear out my welcome.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 2:18 AM GMT
    I've been in threesomes and foursomes. Beware!

    Unless the couple is very secure and experienced with this, it can become a nightmare.

    Jealousies and conflicts abound. You end up in the middle of a fight between the couple, because one of them can't handle seeing you having sex with the other.

    They ask for it, but the reality freaks one of them. I would tread very carefully. And do your homework.
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    Jul 22, 2014 3:50 PM GMT
    I agree with the three daddies above: dont be the guy who gets caught in the middle of a sinking/problematic relationship. You'll regret it deeply.

    If you want to keep seeing them, make it clear that it's gotta be the THREE of you, and that you don't desire more than sex. (I'd still recommend cutting ties though, but that's your prerogative.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2014 12:39 PM GMT
    DTOBIN2013 saidsounds like he is using a 3some to find his new boyfriend. 3ways can be great or drama filled. I have had both, with my husband we have always been on the same page with anyone we play with..even noting if the guy is more into one of us. I have also played with other couples, taking care to ensure giving mutual attention to both.

    I would say run way fast...and not get into the drama with this couple.


    I agree , I once had a 3some with a guy and his wife , it was fun all in all but when the drama hit , I lete'm know I just was done.you should get out of any further contact.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Jul 24, 2014 7:47 PM GMT
    I like 3somes with guys who are there to play only. Couples are simply carrying too much of a potential for a long-lasting drama.

    If those dudes have an open relationship, buddy up with the guy you are attracted to. Otherwise, move on.

    SC
  • craycraydoesd...

    Posts: 596

    Jul 25, 2014 5:49 AM GMT
    What kind of person wants to be that third guy? The odds of anything good coming out of it for you is even less than if you hooked up with a random dude.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 25, 2014 2:26 PM GMT
    It's my belief that any person who gets involved in a "threesome" lives for the drama. So enjoy, but don't bitch to me about it...