Great Relationship, Tough Situation


  • Jul 20, 2014 2:52 AM GMT
    Hey Everyone,

    Some of you may have had this experience, some of you not. Either way I will greatly appreciate your advice!

    My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now, and I can honestly say its the best thing that's ever happened to me. We're both each others' second boyfriend, and, in our minds, the first true love we've ever experienced.

    Here is the dilemma: right now we are 8,000 miles apart and 2 years away from even the possibility of living together. Our friends, him, and me have all worried enough about when and if we'll ever truly be together. While we enjoy the moment, we inevitably worry about our future. So, the question is not whether we will be together, but what are the next steps we should take as the future unfolds?

    ****Some Important Details****

    Him and I are both college students. My plans are to finish 2 years left in California and his is to finish a year left in China, then go for a master's degree in the UK (where his aunt will support him).
    The situation is tricky; a master's degree in the US is out of the question (too expensive), and he's not out to his parents yet (NOTE: the fact that he plans to come out to his parents is BIG for a man or woman in China).
    Add to the fact that we're in different career fields, although we'd like to live in California for obvious reasons. The big problem - a master's in Accounting at a British university isn't quite well-recognized in California. I could likely find a job in the UK as an electrical/computer engineer, but leaving California would obviously be a tough choice.

    Are we taking this too seriously for our age?

    Thanks for all your comments. My heart goes out all to the people who really care for us and other guys here on this site.
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Jul 20, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    what ever u decide in life there will be something to hod u back.

    u don't need an advice from no one , ask urself this
    how I am going to be happy , what is more important , and is there another solution ....

    I'm not going to say that Love is worth fighting for ,, love doesn't need fighting , if it's there u will not think twice about the next step YOU will DECIDE to make

    hope all the best for u both <3 <3 <3 <3
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 3:57 AM GMT
    Both of you are going to have to make choices about love, location, and profession.

    8,000 miles "indefinitely" does not bode well for a relationship unless you both are flying around meeting each other face to face frequently.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 3:59 AM GMT
    My heart goes out to you, man. I was starting to fall in love with a man 1200 miles away and I just could not let myself go there. He had strange ideas about relationships, sexual compatibility, picking up guys at the gym and gay bars, religion, food, plants, perception...in addition to thinking himself a mighty warrior behind his keyboard when IRL a puss...in other words, too much aggravation and too little possibility of an agreeable partnership.

    You've a rough road ahead of you and I do not envy you. Love is never easy. You're young, go for it. When you get to be my age, you recognize a waste of time when you see him...er, it.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 20, 2014 4:12 AM GMT
    Keep things as they are, with you getting your degree in California.
    I know you won't believe it now, but 2 years will fly by, really quickly.

  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Jul 21, 2014 4:23 AM GMT
    You dont have any kind of relationship. Go fuck a bunch of other guys before you regret wasting your youth. You can fall in love with an email account when you are 40. LDR never work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2014 2:54 AM GMT
    Apparition saidYou dont have any kind of relationship. Go fuck a bunch of other guys before you regret wasting your youth. You can fall in love with an email account when you are 40. LDR never work.


    Haha so harsh but true. Reality bites like no one else.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Jul 22, 2014 3:19 AM GMT
    Why do you both have to get a Master's Degree at the same time, let alone at all? You need to explore all options and prioritize your needs separately and then mesh them together to make a cohesive plan.