What is the meaning of true love to you and how would you expect a guy you were seeing to show it before you would feel comfortable to love them back

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 5:55 PM GMT
    To me real love is only between two people but there are many well accepted relationship types and instead of judging peoples motives I thought I would ask for people to explain what they would interpret as love as they understand it is or at least should be
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Jul 20, 2014 7:58 PM GMT
    owl_bundy saidtrue love is unconditional. in other words, regardless of what happens whether a good or a bad day, no matter how they look whether they get skinny, fat, start balding, get grey hairs or whatever, whether you guys have a fight or sing-a-long, you hurt each others feelings-you both still love each other regardless. you both know it to the point where you don't even have to remind each other about it. you're comfortable with the fact. you both accept each other for who you are, aren't, the good, the bad and the ugly and etc. you'd die for them. if someone disrespected them or messed with them, you'd take it personal too. icon_neutral.gif you can say the same thing about family except the difference is you're romantically involved with that person.

    that sounds a bit cheesy but it's true or at least that's what i think.


    Right on Bundy, you rock!!

    It takes a lot of courage to accept a person for what they are, and while loving yourself first is a must; in my personal experience it takes more then loving yourself to love someone else. Through my own relationships with gay men, I find that a number of them seem to suffer from a lack of self respect, common sense, and morals...yes gay people can have morals too!! growing up as a gay teen myself from the late seventies through early eighties, there were no positive gay male models to emulate/look up to. Being in a monogamous and loving relationship was not a priority of gay men back then, it was more about having fun and sex. Twenty years have come to pass, and I'm afraid the perception have not changed. AIDS seems to have done very little (among young gay men, as well as the ones from my generation)to educate and change their sexual habits, but more so about the role of love and commitment in a gay relationship.

    I agree with everything you've stated above, but I also like to add that even thou Love is a long formula with many different figures, the final answer =commitment; which requires a lot of give and takes, as in some form of sacrifice. Love is not about someone loving you, or you being totally in love with someone! IT MUST BE MUTUAL, AND IN SOME CASES WITH SOME SACRIFICE.

    Thank you Sydneyrugbyjock73! great topic of discussion!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 8:03 PM GMT
    owl_bundy saidtrue love is unconditional. in other words, regardless of what happens whether a good or a bad day, no matter how they look whether they get skinny, fat, start balding, get grey hairs or whatever, whether you guys have a fight or sing-a-long, you hurt each others feelings-you both still love each other regardless. you both know it to the point where you don't even have to remind each other about it. you're comfortable with the fact. you both accept each other for who you are, aren't, the good, the bad and the ugly and etc. you'd die for them. if someone disrespected them or messed with them, you'd take it personal too. icon_neutral.gif you can say the same thing about family except the difference is you're romantically involved with that person.

    that sounds a bit cheesy but it's true or at least that's what i think.


    This was spot on!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 8:09 PM GMT
    owl_bundy saidtrue love is unconditional. in other words, regardless of what happens whether a good or a bad day, no matter how they look whether they get skinny, fat, start balding, get grey hairs or whatever, whether you guys have a fight or sing-a-long, you hurt each others feelings-you both still love each other regardless. you both know it to the point where you don't even have to remind each other about it. you're comfortable with the fact. you both accept each other for who you are, aren't, the good, the bad and the ugly and etc. you'd die for them. if someone disrespected them or messed with them, you'd take it personal too. icon_neutral.gif you can say the same thing about family except the difference is you're romantically involved with that person.

    that sounds a bit cheesy but it's true or at least that's what i think.


    And sadly most gay and bi dudes don't see it that way. They have to get in your pants first to know if you really are the "one", which is incredibly stupid cuz, there is no "one". You can fall in love with pretty much anyone. There has to be attraction first though.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 21, 2014 12:58 AM GMT
    I'm always the first to fall in love, but I always hold back, to a certain extent, because I don't want to scare them off. LOL.

    I'm a giver.
    All I want from them is to be appreciative.

  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Jul 21, 2014 1:15 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI'm always the first to fall in love, but I always hold back, to a certain extent, because I don't want to scare them off. LOL.

    I'm a giver.
    All I want from them is to be appreciative.



    I am also a giver, but I had also been at the giving end, where showing gratitude is just as satisfying! that exchange is when Love really begins!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 21, 2014 1:34 AM GMT
    True Love??? ... That's a difficult question to answer, the real answer is, you will know it when it happens to you. If you are asking how do you know, then that just means it has not happened for you yet. Keep looking for the one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2014 2:02 AM GMT
    "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." (Alfred Lord Tennyson). To me true love is reciprocal. Both people feel it, live it, express it, etc. It is something I don't want to keep to myself. I couldn't.
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    Jul 22, 2014 3:59 PM GMT
    Thanks for the replies guys there are some guys. It seems there are still some gay men who are striving for something deeper which is really inspiring to hear. I'll just add one more side question which is related to the theme of commitment that i saw throghout the replies. Do you hold belief that you may find someone who you can commit to for the rest of your life even if it takes a while to find that special guy
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jul 22, 2014 4:26 PM GMT
    I don't agree with much of what has been said above. I think true love is something that surprises you when it hits you. You suddenly want to be with that other guy all the time. Infatuation big time. Lust all over the place. Later it matures and changes into something else. It is bullshit that you will love unconditionally. You expect many things but you will understand if the other stumbles occasionally. You will know him so well that you understand (I mean really understand how it happened) and forgive unless it becomes a pattern. And you're willing to trust. You commit with very fiber of your being to be there for him when he needs you. No matter what. And you honor that. You know deep in your soul that unless he's happy, at least to the extent you can do anything about it, that you won't be happy. At least 99% of the time. And you trust that he feels the same way. Even when he doesn't act like he does.

    I wouldn't expect a guy to show it before me. I'd be feeling it. The good thing is in the early stages, the lust/infatuation stage, it is either mutual or it isn't. If it isn't initially, you're still having such a good time that you're happy to just keep doing what you're doing. Ya gotta take a risk.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2014 6:51 PM GMT
    Tbh, I don't know what true love is...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2014 9:14 AM GMT
    Since I have asked everyone else what they think I should state what I think which is nothing more than my view and I'm liking diversity in opinions on this post. My idea of true love includes infatuation and lust and while not agreeing completely with the idea of unconditional love,

    True love to me means being willing to make sacrifices and stick by that person who has meant so much in your life and not just taking the easy way out by looking for someone else. I also believe it means being able to trust your partner, which means different things for some couples than others ie. fidelity or non-fidelity to your partner physically.

    Being good friends and having important things in common are what helps build trust initially and the rest is about how you act around him which shows your level of respect for your relationship. What do you thinkicon_question.gif am I wrong and being idealistic??
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jul 24, 2014 7:40 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidSince I have asked everyone else what they think I should state what I think which is nothing more than my view and I'm liking diversity in opinions on this post. My idea of true love includes infatuation and lust and while not agreeing completely with the idea of unconditional love,

    True love to me means being willing to make sacrifices and stick by that person who has meant so much in your life and not just taking the easy way out by looking for someone else. I also believe it means being able to trust your partner, which means different things for some couples than others ie. fidelity or non-fidelity to your partner physically.

    Being good friends and having important things in common are what helps build trust initially and the rest is about how you act around him which shows your level of respect for your relationship. What do you thinkicon_question.gif am I wrong and being idealistic??


    Reallu interesting thread and I have the same views you do.

    Yeah, to me, my idea of love is the feeling of mutual attraction. You both want to be with each other and spend time together. And when things get serious, you look out for one another and be there for each other, both for the good times and bad. And yeah, it's important to give each other space and trust that your partner loves you, even when you aren't with each other.

    And yes... I feel you have to expect that your boyfriend/lover may look at other guys but keeping in mind that he has your heart and you have his and that at the end of the day, he comes back to you and gives you love and vice versa. And having willingness to learn from each other, especially if you share some differences.

    That's just what I think though. icon_smile.gif