If being "sexy", appealing, is a practiced art...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2014 9:46 PM GMT
    ...What do you say to the unpracticed?
    This is where dating in high school was absolutely crucial to development, but I think I speak for many of us when I say I didn't date in school -at all-.

    In fact I was 18 when I went for my first date, and we didn't even get far enough to be intimate, and my last boyfriend would've given it up to just about anyone, anyways. I didn't learn a single thing from that experience.

    How did you all get past being sexually "robotic", so to speak? What do you say/do to a man to really retain his interest, if he is initially interested? And yes I realize this is in the dating forum, but I think it applies because a big element to any relationship is sexual attraction.

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    Jul 21, 2014 3:44 AM GMT
    I'm sure this is different for everyone, but for me, if I don't like the mundane every day version of you, then I will quickly lose interest in the sexual you, I have to be interested in the full package. As you get to know each other more and more, sex is just another aspect of intimacy, another way to get closer to your partner, like cuddling while watching a movie or going on a dinner date.

    If I'm dating someone I want to get to know them, and only after that do the sexual feelings/thoughts emerge.

    TL;DR. Be yourself.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 901

    Jul 26, 2014 10:12 AM GMT
    I doubt that being "appealing" is a practiced art. If I look at a guy, I know within 3 sec. flat if he is sexually appealing or not, in my books, that is. There is nothing he can do or not do about it, and there is equally little that I can do about it, too.

    Now, if this first hurdle is past you, and you start dating, you may want to stay appealing beyond the obvious. You want to project your real self into this new constellationicon_lol.gif.

    Every guy out there has his own set of values that he finds to be appealing to him. If you are dating a bike messenger it sure helps that you are one, too, or at least that you bike around regularly. Birds of the feather... no matter what people say.

    To move the sex past the robotic stage, you want to make sure that both your bf and you see each other as being worth your time and effort. You need to connect. And you need to share the vibe. If you are just another buddy who is out there to help him get off, and do so in the process yourself, the chances are that the sex between the two of you will reflect this set of circumstances, too.

    IMHE, what makes and keeps the two guys together is a shared set of values and interests. A dude who is poor in those two departments may or may not have other great qualities, but the developing relationship will soon run its course. If you are dating a dude just because of his looks, or specific anatomy, you'll soon start wondering if there is someone better and bigger just around the corner. And, probably, there is... If your relationship has strong foundations because you feel comfortable and happy together, you are likely to stick with your man.