Interrupters When You're Talking - One of My Pet Peeves

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    Jul 26, 2014 8:16 PM GMT
    Multiple times today my friends & I were talking at a gay bar, and guys would barge in and interrupt us to talk some shit. No hello first, no asking can they interrupt, just elbow in and start talking, demanding our attention.

    Don't they see us engaged in conversation among ourselves? It's nice to be popular (I presume), but that's something I'd never do.

    Watch & wait for a chance to say hi, see if you can join the circle. But just barge in when others are in the middle of a conversation? Not how I was raised.

    What do you guys think? What do you experience? (On my iPad at a club now)
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    Jul 26, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
    Many years ago when I used to watch Martha Stewart, I noticed the same thing. It is basically one person conveying to another that "I am more important than you, shut up."

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    Jul 26, 2014 10:23 PM GMT
    bon_pan saidMany years ago when I used to watch Martha Stewart, I noticed the same thing. It is basically one person conveying to another that "I am more important than you, shut up."

    Back home now.

    Yeah, a total lack of manners, as we used to call them. Do manners even still exist with young people? I see almost no examples of it. No "Excuse me" or "May I interrupt you for a moment?"

    It's like when a 5-year-old bursts into a room, and demands immediate attention from the adults, disrupting everyone. It what we expect from a child, who can be forgiven, but instructed. In a grown adult it's merely childishly self-centered behavior, as well as boorish, and less easy to forgive & overlook.
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    Jul 26, 2014 10:31 PM GMT
    Artie, my favorite is holding the door open for the person behind you and being rewarded with a sneer....well, fuck you, too!
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    Jul 26, 2014 10:45 PM GMT
    bon_pan saidArtie, my favorite is holding the door open for the person behind you and being rewarded with a sneer....well, fuck you, too!

    Actually most of the time I do get a smile, or a nod or a thank-you for holding the door open for others.

    But I have a cheap advantage - I'm holding a cane! LOL! When a gimpy old guy with a cane holds the door open for YOU you're forced into an awkward circumstance.

    Maybe it's an example they'll remember the next time they arrive at the door first themselves.
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    Jul 26, 2014 10:51 PM GMT
    And the rare time you don't, you get one of those anti-feminists who actually (happened to me once) scream at you for not holding the door open for them....icon_rolleyes.gif

    Can't win.
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    Jul 26, 2014 10:55 PM GMT
    I have to deal with this at work. Like we're all in a group, someone is talking, then this guy interjects and offers his "expert opinion", takes over the conversation, blah blah.

    Best thing to do is ignore the interrupter, maintain eye contact with the person you were talking to, complete your sentence. Then look over to the interrupter, and say "Oh.. hi".

    Sometimes you have to stick your hand in front of the interrupter's face. You can choose between a full palm, or the back-da-fuck-up-bitch finger motion. icon_biggrin.gif


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    Jul 26, 2014 11:17 PM GMT
    bon_pan saidAnd the rare time you don't, you get one of those anti-feminists who actually (happened to me once) scream at you for not holding the door open for them....icon_rolleyes.gif

    Can't win.

    Some years ago I was at the checkout of a supermarket in Hollywood, Florida. I was next in line, with a line behind me. I had declined to take another checkout with a handicapped sign, that while open to everyone, allowed handicapped to advance ahead of others. I felt that was for those more handicapped than me, with walkers & wheelchairs.

    I heard a commotion behind me, and some woman was forcing her way through the line, with a handbasket of groceries, no cart. She got to me.

    "Get out of my way!" she demanded. No please, no may I, just get out of my way.

    "Why?" I asked.

    "Because I'm old!" she virtually shouted at me. She looked about 60, had no cane or any sign of disability. OK, I'm not in the mood for this.

    "Well, I'm disabled," I said, holding up my cane, "Parked outside in a handicapped space, and I'm next in line."

    "But I'm old!" she screamed. "Get out of my way!"

    "If you're disabled the handicapped checkout is right over there," I pointed. "But I'm next in line here."

    She now got almost hysterical, screaming repeatedly that she was old. The guy ahead of me in line had now left, and I turned to the checkout clerk. "Am I next?"

    "Yes, sir." "Thank you." And I let her check me through, this madwoman going insane behind me, shouting and swinging her arms, I thought she might hit me but never did. I simply ignored her, took my bags and left.

    The ironic thing is that I'll gladly give my place in line to someone else, who's more disabled, or maybe with just a couple of items when I've got a ton, whatever. But for that nasty & undeserving bitch, no.
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    Jul 26, 2014 11:24 PM GMT
    lol....don't make me launch into a rendition of people...oh well, what the fuxx...



    Maybe not as much for the topic at hand as for you and C. Happy belated birthday!
  • tazzari

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    Jul 26, 2014 11:33 PM GMT
    i've got one or tends who are interrupters. The best response I've used is stolen from Patric O'Brian: "You know, I really do share your dislike of being interrupted." It tends to take a moment to sink in, but it's worked every time.
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    Jul 26, 2014 11:53 PM GMT
    tazzari saidi've got one or tends who are interrupters. The best response I've used is stolen from Patric O'Brian: "You know, I really do share your dislike of being interrupted." It tends to take a moment to sink in, but it's worked every time.

    I wish I could do that. But most of these guys who interrupt me are the friends of the others. Maybe that's partly why they think it doesn't matter. And unless my companions say something, my hands are tied.

    Now when my own friends approach, and I see they want to get involved, I'll take the initiative for them. And interrupt myself, and do the introductions if my companions haven't met them before, or need a refresher. And invite them to join in.

    I mean, this is what adults do. You just don't break into somebody's conversation without warning or invite, and go running on with some totally different topic of your own choice. Yet this is what happened to me multiple times today. Thank gawd our most intimate circle of friends behaves better than that.
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    Jul 26, 2014 11:56 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Bar hopping and clubbing, experiencing all the excitement Wilton Manors has to offer! icon_razz.gif

    And the pleasure & excitement having gay friends has to offer. You must try it sometime. icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 27, 2014 12:09 AM GMT
    bon_pan said
    Maybe not as much for the topic at hand as for you and C. Happy belated birthday!

    MY "C"? How very sweet of you! Yeah, he turned 80 on Tuesday.

    Actually today we were out for another birthday, a friend who just turned 70.

    I'm afraid that's our lot in life, to attend all these geriatric birthdays & events. Still, we do manage to have fun. A different definition of fun than most guys here would recognize, but we've had that younger fun, too, when we still could. We're just grateful that there's ANY fun left at our ages. icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 27, 2014 12:16 AM GMT
    Of course YOUR "C"...the big ragu! icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 27, 2014 12:17 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco said
    southbeach1500 said
    Bar hopping and clubbing, experiencing all the excitement Wilton Manors has to offer! icon_razz.gif

    And the pleasure & excitement having gay friends has to offer. You must try it sometime. icon_razz.gif

    I prefer, embrace and celebrate diversity, as opposed to others who prefer associating mainly with those "like them." It's one of the reasons I love living in Miami, as opposed to Ft. Lauderdale and its environs.

    Your idea of diversity is flawed if you think it doesn't exist in Fort Lauderdale or Wilton Manors. Our circle of friends includes straights, lesbians & gays. Oh, and also some Muslims, our regular house guests and dinner companions, in case you wanna dredge up that old subject to use against me. Oh, wait, I think you recently did.
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    Jul 27, 2014 12:55 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    OK. To each his own. I just find it too white gay up there.

    Quote all the stats you like. The guy whose 70th birthday it is today, the friend whose party we attended, is Haitian.

    OOPPPSSS!!!

    And 3 days before my husband's birthday, we celebrated one for a very dear friend, that he's known for over 20 years, who was born and raised in Cuba. Even served (involuntarily) in their militia under Castro.

    OOPPPSSS again!!!

    So please don't use stats to tell us how non-diversified we are. Diversity has less to do with overall demographics than with whom you actually socialize.

    Leading to the question of why, in all the years you've been here on RJ, you've scarcely mentioned any gay contacts, any gay social life, any gay friends, any gay travel suggestions for visitors to South Florida. If you're so much into diversity, where's yours?