Gay couple at our church faces tragedy after leaving their baby in their foster care in car

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 27, 2014 9:29 PM GMT
    Absolutely tragic. Gay couple at our church faces a real tragedy after one of them left a 10 month old baby in their foster care in a vehicle for 2 hours at their home. The baby died due to the heat. They have 3 children and somehow the baby was left in the car.

    I know this couple, I cannot imagine the horror they must be going through and the guilt they must carry for the rest of their lives.


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    Jul 27, 2014 9:32 PM GMT
    I didn't know babies can die so fast.
  • frogman89

    Posts: 418

    Jul 27, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    How could the baby have been left in the car? That sounds so irresponsible.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 27, 2014 9:40 PM GMT
    frogman89 saidHow could the baby have been left in the car? That sounds so irresponsible.


    It does, I have to say the same. Both the guys involved are very responsible guys.. apparently only one of them knew what was going on, the other was in the back doing some yard work. All I can think of is attention was diverted, but it does seem odd... and very tragic.
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    Jul 27, 2014 9:41 PM GMT
    atlanticshore saidI didn't know babies can die so fast.


    Well considering it is like putting them in an oven…. how long would you think it would take. You ever trying staying in a hot car for 2 hrs!
    I don't understand how people can 'forget' the baby…. I guess that child was not a big priority or top of mind for them!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 27, 2014 10:35 PM GMT
    WHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.
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    Jul 27, 2014 11:00 PM GMT
    It is horrible that there are more and more cases like this every week. What a terrible way to die. I feel so badly for those little kids (and animals) who are left in a car in high heat.

    My parents were just as thoughtless as some of the parents today......and countless times they used our Oldsmobile 98 (and other cars) as 'babysitters'. My siblings and I were stuck in the car while our parents shopped or visited with their friends sometimes. The only difference (and I wish this could be true today) was that in the 60's you could open the electric windows from inside the cars without the key. Also - we weren't strapped into car seats, so if we really wanted to - we could just get out of the car. This pissed our mother off, and we'd get our faces slapped for this little transgression, but it was better than roasting in the car.
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    Jul 27, 2014 11:27 PM GMT
    I just don't get it.
    Where did they think the child was?
    --two hours; if I don't see my dog in an hour I'm looking for her.

    Do they foster other children?
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    Jul 27, 2014 11:45 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    They made a mistake dude. A very painful and tragic mistake, but a mistake none the less. We're all human and occasionally we all make terrible mistakes. This day will haunt them the rest of their lives and you want to add prison on top of that? Really?
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    Jul 27, 2014 11:46 PM GMT
    Let's not be quick to judge!

    This is a tragedy and a huge loss. I cannot imagine what biological and foster parents go through right now, but it breaks my heart.
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    Jul 27, 2014 11:50 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    That is exactly what may happen in a similar case (though the father who neglected the child wasn't gay) from just a month or two ago.

    Although it's a different state, we'll see what happens in both cases, though I will give the benefit of the doubt that both cases were accidents and offer sympathies to the parents involved.


    The Georgia man was charged with intentionally leaving his 22 month old child in the car for seven hours. He was married and sending nude pics to women, one was a teen, and he also had over $25,000 in life insurance policies on the little boy.

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    Jul 28, 2014 12:33 AM GMT
    I feel like I'm not allowed to have an opinion on this because, I don't have children, or am I the guardian of any. My gut reaction, was simply "What in the world can one be thinking about, in order for them to forget a child who depends on them for everything in a car?" I do hope they all can find peace, and that this string of events throughout our nation will serve as teachable moments.
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    Jul 28, 2014 1:01 AM GMT
    Condolences to the child's family and their friends, of course. But is there an issue being danced around here? SB dared touch upon it though without confronting it and I did not notice it elsewhere mentioned. A silent fear. An added obligation upon us only the wretched would violate, that we, as a gay community nearing the peak of the struggle of our long fought battle for our rights to a family of our own might falter, never mind, so very tragically fuck up.

    Just imagine how vulnerable we are, how potentially volatile the situation might be--BABY KILLER FAGS will read the Westboro church's posters--how vomitus might be even someone from our own community to misrepresent our words or intent, to cast us in homophobic light, to suggest our own humanity our sin, our negligence our intent, our kindnesses our perversion, our frailties our malevolence.

    How sad that a child's death might so test tolerance.
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    Jul 28, 2014 1:31 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    They made a mistake dude. A very painful and tragic mistake, but a mistake none the less. We're all human and occasionally we all make terrible mistakes. This day will haunt them the rest of their lives and you want to add prison on top of that? Really?




    This is not a tragic mistake that you forgive and forget, this is pure and simple neglect!

    As the single parent of 4 boys, there are rituals that just become a natural part of life when you have children, and these guys apparently have two other children. Every time I leave home with my children ( two of them 8 and 9 now) I have to take inventory of just how many children are with me and I make sure they are securely belted in before I ever start to backup. When we get to our destination, before doors are ever opened I make sure that it's safe for them to open the doors and get out, the two youngers ones must exit on my side of the vehicle, I then count and make sure they are all there and then recount just to make sure they are all accounted for. when we get back to the car to head home I count and recount again to be sure everyone is on board for the trip home. Once home and out of the car the counting game begins again.
    Every time I stop at a light or a stop sign I check the rearview mirror to check on my boys, it just comes naturally. My children are in the vehicle before any items purchased and out before any other items are taken out of the car.


    With this constantly in the news every summer, there is no excuse. When you have a child safety seat in the car it's simple enough to check and double check every time you put the car in park to make sure this kind of "mistake" doesn't happen. There is really no excuse for this.









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    Jul 28, 2014 1:32 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    They made a mistake dude. A very painful and tragic mistake, but a mistake none the less. We're all human and occasionally we all make terrible mistakes. This day will haunt them the rest of their lives and you want to add prison on top of that? Really?


    Oh they made a HUGE mistake. The point is that this mistake happens way too often. HOW is it possible to forget you have a child in your care. I could 'maybe' understand forgetting a child if you had 10 to keep track of, but its 1 fucking kid…. how hard is it to remember their safety??? Talk about only having your own needs being the most important thing! icon_rolleyes.gif They should be tossed in jail. I would imagine baking for 2 hours ( literally) would be the most torturous thing imaginable. As a father… I just don't get how it happens..
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    Jul 28, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    There are irresponsible heterosexual couples and there will be irresponsible gay couples fostering children. None of this is a statement on the unsuitability of gay people fostering . It just means that like straight couples, gay couples need to accept a level of responsibility now they're not used to.

    It's a terrible situation and clearly neglect , but it's by no means limited to gay people and many straight foster carers are just as guilty of worse- sexual abuse, violence etc towards children in their care.

    Welcome to the world- regardless of being gay or straight
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    Jul 28, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    hairyandym said
    Scruffypup said
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    They made a mistake dude. A very painful and tragic mistake, but a mistake none the less. We're all human and occasionally we all make terrible mistakes. This day will haunt them the rest of their lives and you want to add prison on top of that? Really?


    Oh they made a HUGE mistake. The point is that this mistake happens way too often. HOW is it possible to forget you have a child in your care. I could 'maybe' understand forgetting a child if you had 10 to keep track of, but its 1 fucking kid…. how hard is it to remember their safety??? Talk about only having your own needs being the most important thing! icon_rolleyes.gif They should be tossed in jail. I would imagine baking for 2 hours ( literally) would be the most torturous thing imaginable. As a father… I just don't get how it happens..


    And you've never made a "HUGE" mistake in your life? You and I weren't there and we don't know what was going on in their heads. It's quite possible one was sure the other was getting the kid out and vice versa. I'd like to know what good throwing them in jail would do. Is compassion this dead?
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    Jul 28, 2014 1:39 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    hairyandym said
    Scruffypup said
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    They made a mistake dude. A very painful and tragic mistake, but a mistake none the less. We're all human and occasionally we all make terrible mistakes. This day will haunt them the rest of their lives and you want to add prison on top of that? Really?


    Oh they made a HUGE mistake. The point is that this mistake happens way too often. HOW is it possible to forget you have a child in your care. I could 'maybe' understand forgetting a child if you had 10 to keep track of, but its 1 fucking kid…. how hard is it to remember their safety??? Talk about only having your own needs being the most important thing! icon_rolleyes.gif They should be tossed in jail. I would imagine baking for 2 hours ( literally) would be the most torturous thing imaginable. As a father… I just don't get how it happens..


    And you've never made a "HUGE" mistake in your life? You and I weren't there and we don't know what was going on in their heads. It's quite possible one was sure the other was getting the kid out and vice versa. I'd like to know what good throwing them in jail would do. Is compassion this dead?


    I would totally agree with you, without knowing the facts, no one has a right to come to a conclusion to throw someone into a prison. Especially if such a conclusion comes from single person's emotions
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    Jul 28, 2014 1:47 AM GMT
    If this were a straight couple, dudes here would be commenting differently. lol Gays are so biased.
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    Jul 28, 2014 1:51 AM GMT
    There was a quick interview I caught on TV with a parent who accidentally killed their kid I think by heat in a car like this, or some similar neglect, but you couldn't help but to notice that the parent had some mental deficit so extenuating circumstance obvious. That was someone giving as much loving care as they could but not enough to keep their kid alive. Should that person be prevented from having another child?

    http://www.kidsandcars.org/heatstroke.html
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Jul 28, 2014 1:52 AM GMT
    how do you possibly "somehow" leave a child, or even a pet, in a car for 2 hours? manslaughter
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    Jul 28, 2014 2:23 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    hairyandym said
    Scruffypup said
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    They made a mistake dude. A very painful and tragic mistake, but a mistake none the less. We're all human and occasionally we all make terrible mistakes. This day will haunt them the rest of their lives and you want to add prison on top of that? Really?


    Oh they made a HUGE mistake. The point is that this mistake happens way too often. HOW is it possible to forget you have a child in your care. I could 'maybe' understand forgetting a child if you had 10 to keep track of, but its 1 fucking kid…. how hard is it to remember their safety??? Talk about only having your own needs being the most important thing! icon_rolleyes.gif They should be tossed in jail. I would imagine baking for 2 hours ( literally) would be the most torturous thing imaginable. As a father… I just don't get how it happens..


    And you've never made a "HUGE" mistake in your life? You and I weren't there and we don't know what was going on in their heads. It's quite possible one was sure the other was getting the kid out and vice versa. I'd like to know what good throwing them in jail would do. Is compassion this dead?


    Oh christ… I'am the king of mistakes…. having a child die in my care is not just a mistake its a serious statement about your decision making skill! This isn't like caring for an egg and if it breaks… 'my bad' this is SERIOUS business! I don't buy the 'oh, wait, i thought you got the baby, no wait.. i thought"?? How do you not notice until hours later! Im the most compassionate person around. Trust me, I feel for the couple… their hell has only just begun. Nope, I don't know what was going on at that moment, but the only thing that should have been going on was that baby's welfare. Someone said if it were a straight couple people would react differently… LOL! This isn't a gay thing, it's a 'I'm so fucking stupid' thing! Get real, how can there ever be anything more important than the safety of a child in your care! There isn't a second chance!!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 28, 2014 3:45 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    They made a mistake dude. A very painful and tragic mistake, but a mistake none the less. We're all human and occasionally we all make terrible mistakes. This day will haunt them the rest of their lives and you want to add prison on top of that? Really?



    NO.
    I'm sick of this bull shit every time a stupid parent doesn't live up to their FULL TIME responsibility of caring for a child.

    --Every time a little kid finds a gun and accidentally blows his head off because his stupid parents didn't lock up their guns.
    --Every time a little kid drowns in a swimming pool because his stupid parents weren't watching him.
    --Every time a little kid dehydrates to the point of death because his stupid parent went to work and "forgot" the kid was in the back seat.

    BULLSHIT. Either you accept the FULL TIME responsibility, or don't have kids, or plan on going to prison for your stupid negligence.

    That poor little kid can't take care of himself.
    He looks to you for EVERYTHING.
    And, what do you do ?
    WALK OFF AND LEAVE HIM TO BBQ TO DEATH IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR CAR.



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    Jul 28, 2014 3:50 AM GMT
    hairyandym saidSomeone said if it were a straight couple people would react differently… LOL! This isn't a gay thing, it's a 'I'm so fucking stupid' thing!


    I hope you are not referring to my post because I never said this is a gay thing and you should know better than to say so. I said there might very well be an underlying current, particularly in a country where we are not even allowed to adopt children nationwide.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_adoption_in_the_United_States
    According to Lambda Legal, which has represented many same-sex couples in state and federal courts:

    About half of all states permit second-parent adoptions by the unmarried partner of an existing legal parent, while in a handful of states courts have ruled these adoptions not permissible under state laws. This leaves parents in many states legally unrecognized or severely disadvantaged in court fights with ex-spouses, ex-partners or other relatives.


    Of course this is in reality nothing but a horrible thing.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 28, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    shybuffguy said
    Scruffypup said
    Webster666 saidWHERE IS THE PITY FOR THE POOR BABY WHO DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH, SOLEY BECAUSE OF THE NEGLECT OF THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BABY'S CARE ?

    THROW THEM IN PRISON.


    They made a mistake dude. A very painful and tragic mistake, but a mistake none the less. We're all human and occasionally we all make terrible mistakes. This day will haunt them the rest of their lives and you want to add prison on top of that? Really?




    This is not a tragic mistake that you forgive and forget, this is pure and simple neglect!

    As the single parent of 4 boys, there are rituals that just become a natural part of life when you have children, and these guys apparently have two other children. Every time I leave home with my children ( two of them 8 and 9 now) I have to take inventory of just how many children are with me and I make sure they are securely belted in before I ever start to backup. When we get to our destination, before doors are ever opened I make sure that it's safe for them to open the doors and get out, the two youngers ones must exit on my side of the vehicle, I then count and make sure they are all there and then recount just to make sure they are all accounted for. when we get back to the car to head home I count and recount again to be sure everyone is on board for the trip home. Once home and out of the car the counting game begins again.
    Every time I stop at a light or a stop sign I check the rearview mirror to check on my boys, it just comes naturally. My children are in the vehicle before any items purchased and out before any other items are taken out of the car.


    With this constantly in the news every summer, there is no excuse. When you have a child safety seat in the car it's simple enough to check and double check every time you put the car in park to make sure this kind of "mistake" doesn't happen. There is really no excuse for this.












    Bless you for being a great dad !