Did your parents or peers try to make you straight?

  • FuerteC

    Posts: 588

    Jul 29, 2014 12:21 PM GMT
    I personally think that gay people are becoming more accepted, but there are still strict conservative families, for example, religious families or very traditional ones. A friend of mine told me he was gay and is afraid to come out but his parents are afraid for him, that he will be ridiculed because of homophobic attacks and such. His parents even told him to change sexuality, that he hasn't tried being straight.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-28415380 Even in China and other places they see homosexuality as an illness to be cured.

    When you came out, did your parents try to make you become straight?

    My parents found it hard to accept that I was gay because I wasn't camp or feminine. But over time they accepted but it took a few years. They at one time tried to arrange a straight date when I was 18. It wasn't going to happen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2014 3:50 PM GMT
    In my case, my family was fine with my news of my sexuality, except my mother (a liberal democrat and atheist). I heard she pounded on her steering wheel after pulling her car over, and shouted out, "How can he do this to me? How can he do this to our family?!"

    My friends and teammates were all fine (true friends, that is). One funny thing I remember......... a guy on my water polo team was almost in tears about it. He said, "Come on man! Why? Why do you want to do this? Chicks DIG you, man! Come on! Let's get you laid some more, and forget about this GAY thing. It'll pass!"
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Jul 29, 2014 4:28 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidIn my case, my family was fine with my news of my sexuality, except my mother (a liberal democrat and atheist). I heard she pounded on her steering wheel after pulling her car over, and shouted out, "How can he do this to me? How can he do this to our family?!"

    My friends and teammates were all fine (true friends, that is). One funny thing I remember......... a guy on my water polo team was almost in tears about it. He said, "Come on man! Why? Why do you want to do this? Chicks DIG you, man! Come on! Let's get you laid some more, and forget about this GAY thing. It'll pass!"


    I would have expected a liberal democrat and atheist to be fine with the news.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2014 5:00 PM GMT
    Both, and this was before I was fully out. It took publicly coming out to shut the change attempts down, because even now my family refuses to believe that I am and believes that it is a violation of creation as intended.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jul 29, 2014 11:10 PM GMT
    No one in my family or entourage ever tried to "make" me straight after I came out to them. Thankfully.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2014 3:41 AM GMT
    My twin sister still thinks the girl that screwed me over in high school is the reason I'm Gay.
    --"one bad experience?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2014 2:10 PM GMT
    They might have -- but I never cared enough what /anyone/ thinks of me to even entertain the idea.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Jul 30, 2014 2:21 PM GMT
    Thankfully, sexuality was always deemed a very intimate, private matter for each and everyone in my family. What you do in your bedroom, behind the locked doors was purely your matter to cope with. (This had lots to do with the fact that so many of them did have most exciting private lives. This is where their conservativism stopped, and they would all turn to be ultra-liberals because this is what suited them best under the circumstances!)

    A dear great aunt was the only one one who approached me very tactfully on the subject. (I was in my mid 20's. Successful and NOT married.) So, she suggested that she would leave me a substantial trust if I married within a year. icon_rolleyes.gif I never thought that this deserved even a reply.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 31, 2014 4:36 PM GMT
    My mum passed away when i was 14 , but when i told my dad i wanted to date girls and boys , he told me " you for sure will have more choices " and smiled ..lol..
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Aug 29, 2014 8:31 PM GMT
    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/gay-son-kicked-out-religious-parents-receives-incredible-amount-start-his-new-life290814

    Horrible. I know many parents who disown their kids because they were gay. Even atheists disown their kids because it is not "normal".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 29, 2014 8:43 PM GMT
    I think my parents still have the hope that one day I might become straight. They didn't force me to do anything to become straight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 29, 2014 8:45 PM GMT
    My mother spent about two minutes trying to get me to write with my right hand when I was six years old...that's about the extent of it.
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Aug 29, 2014 8:50 PM GMT


    This video of religious parents disowning their son. Horrible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 29, 2014 8:53 PM GMT
    My mother thinks I can flip a switch and be with a woman and get married and have a family. I told her women don't get me hard and she's just gonna have to deal with that. She says she can't deal with having a gay son, as usual making it about her. I remember her saying one she likes gay guys. As long as her son isn't one so her reputation isn't ruined and she isn't known as the lady who raised and Nancy boy. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 29, 2014 9:01 PM GMT
    My parents tried to make me straight, but not in harsh ways. I don't hate them for it, they were just reflecting the beliefs of that era, and trying to do the best for me, as they understood it.

    1. They sent me to a very primitive boys summer camp for several years. Very much like an "outward Bound" experience. Man, did THAT backfire! I saw things there that only made me MORE gay.
    2. When I was 13 they tried hypnosis therapy with me. That didn't work either.
    3. At the same time in 1962, they bought a tabletop reel-to-reel tape recorder, ostensibly as a parlor novelty. Now that sorta worked. Because when I heard my voice played back, sounding as faggy as faggy can be, I was horrified. I wouldn't speak for 3 days. And afterwards was determined to "butch" my voice, which I did. But it still didn't make me straight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 29, 2014 11:07 PM GMT
    My family - at least all the family that I give a crap about - was fine with it.

    My BF's family was most definitely NOT fine with it. His mother was effectively complicit in crime of letting the family pastor take him away for "reconditioning".

  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Dec 18, 2014 9:01 PM GMT
    JonSpringon saidMy family - at least all the family that I give a crap about - was fine with it.

    My BF's family was most definitely NOT fine with it. His mother was effectively complicit in crime of letting the family pastor take him away for "reconditioning".



    That is just sad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 18, 2014 9:32 PM GMT
    none of my parents were alive when i realize i was attracted to guys, (not that i would have asked for permission).

    ps: my father is not literally dead but to me it's like he is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 18, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    No.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 18, 2014 9:57 PM GMT
    JonSpringon saidMy BF's family was most definitely NOT fine with it. His mother was effectively complicit in crime of letting the family pastor take him away for "reconditioning".

    I've even heard of stories where the family took their son in for electro-convulsive "therapy".

    Luckily I was over 21 when I realized I was gay. I wouldn't be surprised if my mother tried to do that to me.
  • FuerteC

    Posts: 588

    Dec 30, 2014 6:53 PM GMT
    David3K saidnone of my parents were alive when i realize i was attracted to guys, (not that i would have asked for permission).

    ps: my father is not literally dead but to me it's like he is.


    When did you realize?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2014 7:22 PM GMT
    JuanPablomv89 said
    Art_Deco saidMy parents tried to make me straight, but not in harsh ways. I don't hate them for it, they were just reflecting the beliefs of that era, and trying to do the best for me, as they understood it.

    1. They sent me to a very primitive boys summer camp for several years. Very much like an "outward Bound" experience. Man, did THAT backfire! I saw things there that only made me MORE gay.
    2. When I was 13 they tried hypnosis therapy with me. That didn't work either.
    3. At the same time in 1962, they bought a tabletop reel-to-reel tape recorder, ostensibly as a parlor novelty. Now that sorta worked. Because when I heard my voice played back, sounding as faggy as faggy can be, I was horrified. I wouldn't speak for 3 days. And afterwards was determined to "butch" my voice, which I did. But it still didn't make me straight.

    Faggy voice really?.

    Yep, really, REALLY faggy. I sounded as swishy as any awful gay stereotype you can imagine. No wonder my parents got that tape recorder, so I could hear for myself.

    I ran into my bedroom, slammed the door shut, and just cried and cried. I literally refused to speak for about 3 days. And when I was in my room I screamed myself hoarse for hours, trying to ruin that effeminate, overly accentuated girly voice I heard. That had made me the leading singer in the church choir, and our school's featured entertainer. I never wanted to hear that voice again.

    Today my voice is very deep and resonant, and I wouldn't sing for any amount of money. I've been a radio DJ, and done professional voice work. I took a college degree in Speech & Phonetics to further lose that hideous voice, along with any trace of my New York-Jersey accent.

    RJ guys who have met me in person, or spoken with me on the phone, can confirm this, no doubt. A faggy voice no more. Well, maybe just a little again since I came out. icon_redface.gif

    Now whether that happened from days of screaming myself hoarse, and willing my voice to deepen, I can't say. Maybe just a normal consequence of the advance of male maturity and a natural voice deepening - I was only 13 when this all occurred.

    My parents, love them though I do to this day, were in fact very controlling & manipulative. And one of the things my Mother often told me, that I still remember & follow is:

    "Robert, people will judge you from the moment you open your mouth. So have perfect diction, a large vocabulary, and speak with a forceful authority, and people will respect and obey you. No matter what you say to them, they won't question you, and think you a person of wealth and consequence, if you speak well and with confidence."

    And you know what? She was right. And that more than anything else, more than any real smarts or other slight abilities I have, is what built my military career.

    And continues to get me into the highest echelons of social circles, despite my being the poorest person there. If they knew how little I have they'd throw me out on my ass. But I SOUND rich, so they THINK I'm as rich as them, and quite a bit more refined. Thanks, Mom!
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Jul 24, 2015 7:01 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    JuanPablomv89 said
    Art_Deco saidMy parents tried to make me straight, but not in harsh ways. I don't hate them for it, they were just reflecting the beliefs of that era, and trying to do the best for me, as they understood it.

    1. They sent me to a very primitive boys summer camp for several years. Very much like an "outward Bound" experience. Man, did THAT backfire! I saw things there that only made me MORE gay.
    2. When I was 13 they tried hypnosis therapy with me. That didn't work either.
    3. At the same time in 1962, they bought a tabletop reel-to-reel tape recorder, ostensibly as a parlor novelty. Now that sorta worked. Because when I heard my voice played back, sounding as faggy as faggy can be, I was horrified. I wouldn't speak for 3 days. And afterwards was determined to "butch" my voice, which I did. But it still didn't make me straight.

    Faggy voice really?.

    Yep, really, REALLY faggy. I sounded as swishy as any awful gay stereotype you can imagine. No wonder my parents got that tape recorder, so I could hear for myself.

    I ran into my bedroom, slammed the door shut, and just cried and cried. I literally refused to speak for about 3 days. And when I was in my room I screamed myself hoarse for hours, trying to ruin that effeminate, overly accentuated girly voice I heard. That had made me the leading singer in the church choir, and our school's featured entertainer. I never wanted to hear that voice again.

    Today my voice is very deep and resonant, and I wouldn't sing for any amount of money. I've been a radio DJ, and done professional voice work. I took a college degree in Speech & Phonetics to further lose that hideous voice, along with any trace of my New York-Jersey accent.

    RJ guys who have met me in person, or spoken with me on the phone, can confirm this, no doubt. A faggy voice no more. Well, maybe just a little again since I came out. icon_redface.gif

    Now whether that happened from days of screaming myself hoarse, and willing my voice to deepen, I can't say. Maybe just a normal consequence of the advance of male maturity and a natural voice deepening - I was only 13 when this all occurred.

    My parents, love them though I do to this day, were in fact very controlling & manipulative. And one of the things my Mother often told me, that I still remember & follow is:

    "Robert, people will judge you from the moment you open your mouth. So have perfect diction, a large vocabulary, and speak with a forceful authority, and people will respect and obey you. No matter what you say to them, they won't question you, and think you a person of wealth and consequence, if you speak well and with confidence."

    And you know what? She was right. And that more than anything else, more than any real smarts or other slight abilities I have, is what built my military career.

    And continues to get me into the highest echelons of social circles, despite my being the poorest person there. If they knew how little I have they'd throw me out on my ass. But I SOUND rich, so they THINK I'm as rich as them, and quite a bit more refined. Thanks, Mom!



    Haha nice
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 25, 2015 12:51 AM GMT
    My mom still thinks conversion therapy can work, but she hasn't brought it up since I stopped talking to her for almost a year because of suggesting it a couple years ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 25, 2015 2:07 AM GMT
    They were uneasy a little bit at first. I came out in 2007. Then I was dating my ex at the time, brought him home for Christmas and everything. They had a tough time a little bit. Lol, I think my parents and siblings thought it was odd I was dating a dude at that time. I explained to them and everything. They sorta used to it now and warm up to it like 2 years later. Just about 6 months ago, my mom was like *God, I loved your ex bf, why can't you date someone new like that now?? And she was like make sure he's a great guy, not a bum...etc... lol. So it comes in full circle, they don't really care and just wanna see me with a good man. icon_redface.gificon_eek.gif