Why can't you have both? I enjoy rough sex with a slight gentleness associated with it.
However, I don't do rough sex with just anybody. Only my partner, whom I trust. He knows my limits and I know his, so we'll fuck each others brains out, knowing that we're enjoying it and not crossing any lines.
I like for things to start gentle then little by little the dirty talk starts to turn into being called a nasty little slut, sissy, faggot with some light slapping on the face and mild spanking. Some throat gagging on a nice big cock and a nice hard fuck that ends with Daddy shooting his load across my face.
depend on my mood, If i'm like super tired, don't want to do the work, then slow/gentle. If I'm super horny and all aggressive, then oh yeah, I want it ROUGH. LOL, depend on the guy if he wants it gentle or rough too.