Why do old gays prefer minorities?

  • smegnificient

    Posts: 269

    Jul 30, 2014 11:23 PM GMT
    My friends are mostly Latino and Black, with a few Whites and Asians. I'm pretty dark for a Brazilian, which I think appears to lump me in with my black friends when it comes to being hit on by older men at clubs. They never approach my white or latino friends, just the black and Asian ones. All my friends have noticed this long before I did, but are always very vague with the answers "everyone's got preferences"... like yeah of course, but it doesn't explain the pattern lol.

    It's just so weird how they all notice it but never talk about it like it's taboo, which makes me all the more curious... why??
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    Jul 31, 2014 12:26 AM GMT
    Because reasons.
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    Jul 31, 2014 12:54 AM GMT
    People are shown to have more empathy as they get older (a.k.a parenting age). Maybe they don't feel as "inside the box" with only dating other white guys due to the supposed preferences that imperialism has brought. They probably feel like they're missing out so they do that when they're older, kinda like an existentialist crisis/to make their life feel more wholesome.

    Maybe that's the reason more old guys let go of their inhibitions and have orgies lol.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Jul 31, 2014 3:32 AM GMT
    ^^LOL I was going to say that a few of my white friends DO get hit on by older men, but only the ugly ones icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 31, 2014 3:12 PM GMT
    smegnificient saidMy friends are mostly Latino and Black, with a few Whites and Asians. I'm pretty dark for a Brazilian, which I think appears to lump me in with my black friends when it comes to being hit on by older men at clubs. They never approach my white or latino friends, just the black and Asian ones. All my friends have noticed this long before I did, but are always very vague with the answers "everyone's got preferences"... like yeah of course, but it doesn't explain the pattern lol.

    It's just so weird how they all notice it but never talk about it like it's taboo, which makes me all the more curious... why??


    I think you are brainwashed by stereotypes and notice only what you want to notice
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    Jul 31, 2014 4:11 PM GMT
    gooddaytoday saidLots of old men are looking for younger, (to re-live some teenage romance that they missed out on) but are savvy enough not to bother with guys with whom they don't stand a chance. A lot of gays think whites are hottest, to the point where some blacks and Asians will settle for older just to get a white guy, so there's a match made in hell.



    And that, my friends, is what's fucked up about Eurocentrism in one paragraph.
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    Jul 31, 2014 6:04 PM GMT
    I wish I could date an older guy because I think I am mature for my age. Alsk, older guys can be very sexy and take care of you. Unfortunately them maybe having experiences with younger guys would probably make them not wanna date one lol. I'd like to see more young-old couples, but younger guys also discriminate. Ihave now my friends would make fun of me jokingly if I dated an older guy, which I'd have no problem with.
  • smegnificient

    Posts: 269

    Aug 01, 2014 12:03 AM GMT
    Okajuurou said
    smegnificient saidMy friends are mostly Latino and Black, with a few Whites and Asians. I'm pretty dark for a Brazilian, which I think appears to lump me in with my black friends when it comes to being hit on by older men at clubs. They never approach my white or latino friends, just the black and Asian ones. All my friends have noticed this long before I did, but are always very vague with the answers "everyone's got preferences"... like yeah of course, but it doesn't explain the pattern lol.

    It's just so weird how they all notice it but never talk about it like it's taboo, which makes me all the more curious... why??


    I think you are brainwashed by stereotypes and notice only what you want to notice


    lol why would I want old men to hit on me?

    Most of the posts sound just like my friends' evasive answers. I really wish gooddaytoday is wrong, but it's the only explanation that makes sense. icon_sad.gif
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    Aug 01, 2014 12:14 AM GMT
    gooddaytoday saidLots of old men are looking for younger, (to re-live some teenage romance that they missed out on) but are savvy enough not to bother with guys with whom they don't stand a chance. A lot of gays think whites are hottest, to the point where some blacks and Asians will settle for older just to get a white guy, so there's a match made in hell.



    lo Harsh but true. Since whites are always put on a pedestal, they think minorities are more open to dating them.
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    Aug 01, 2014 9:36 AM GMT
    highforthis said^^LOL I was going to say that a few of my white friends DO get hit on by older men, but only the ugly ones icon_lol.gif


    There's a reason why you only have 1 photo comment and are on no one's hot list.

    OP, 1. if you're a dark Brazilian, then you're probably black, and 2. loads of old men go after young white and Latinos. I don't see them going after black men much, though? Mainly Asians, whites and Latinos.
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    Aug 01, 2014 9:38 AM GMT
    LC92 saidI wish I could date an older guy because I think I am mature for my age. Alsk, older guys can be very sexy and take care of you. Unfortunately them maybe having experiences with younger guys would probably make them not wanna date one lol. I'd like to see more young-old couples, but younger guys also discriminate. Ihave now my friends would make fun of me jokingly if I dated an older guy, which I'd have no problem with.


    Then go date one?

    Lol, by the way, I think you're evidence against the OP's theory. You're a young white guy and most of the people commenting on your pics and hotlisting you are older men.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Aug 02, 2014 5:39 AM GMT
    kevex said
    gooddaytoday saidLots of old men are looking for younger, (to re-live some teenage romance that they missed out on) but are savvy enough not to bother with guys with whom they don't stand a chance. A lot of gays think whites are hottest, to the point where some blacks and Asians will settle for older just to get a white guy, so there's a match made in hell.



    lo Harsh but true. Since whites are always put on a pedestal, they think minorities are more open to dating them.


    Lol common knowledge. Love the old guy above me who created an account just to "disagree"
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    Aug 02, 2014 7:12 AM GMT
    OP claims to be 18. So by "older" does he mean 21 years old? I think 25 is the official age when gay guys are labeled as an old creeper right? icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 02, 2014 7:36 AM GMT
    smegnificientWhy do old gays prefer minorities?
    My friends are mostly Latino and Black, with a few Whites and Asians. I'm pretty dark for a Brazilian, which I think appears to lump me in with my black friends when it comes to being hit on by older men at clubs. They never approach my white or latino friends, just the black and Asian ones. All my friends have noticed this long before I did, but are always very vague with the answers "everyone's got preferences"... like yeah of course, but it doesn't explain the pattern lol.


    Lots of assumptions in one paragraph.

    1) It seems that you are generalizing from the behavior of some older men (whom you have observed) to the behavior of most or all older men. (And, by the way, are you implicitly saying that it's white older men who pursue you, or is it older men of all races/ethnicities?)

    2) Where are you and your Latino, black, white, and Asian friends when the older men approach?
    If you are in a bar that is usually racially/ethnically mixed, or is mixed on certain nights of the week, it would make sense that older men (whether black, white, Asian, Latino, whatever) who are attracted to dark-complected men or to Latinos would go to the same place, hoping to try to score.
    Try going to the a different bar or to the same bar on a different night, and see if you get the same attention.

    3) Yes, everyone does have a preference. Some younger men prefer the company of men who are older than they are. Some do not. Apparently, you are among the latter. No judgement here, but there shouldn't be any judgement either against older men who prefer the company of younger men, unless they are hitting on you in an obnoxious way or generally making pests of themselves.
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    Aug 02, 2014 7:36 AM GMT
    LC92 saidI wish I could date an older guy because I think I am mature for my age.

    No reason you couldn't. There are lots of guys out there that might want to date you. But it would be just as hard to find a good match in an older guy as someone your age - for all the same reasons. Just be available and keep looking. You'll eventually find someone.
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    Aug 02, 2014 8:00 AM GMT
    RPearson said
    smegnificientWhy do old gays prefer minorities?
    My friends are mostly Latino and Black, with a few Whites and Asians. I'm pretty dark for a Brazilian, which I think appears to lump me in with my black friends when it comes to being hit on by older men at clubs. They never approach my white or latino friends, just the black and Asian ones. All my friends have noticed this long before I did, but are always very vague with the answers "everyone's got preferences"... like yeah of course, but it doesn't explain the pattern lol.


    Lots of assumptions in one paragraph.

    1) It seems that you are generalizing from the behavior of some older men (whom you have observed) to the behavior of most or all older men. (And, by the way, are you implicitly saying that it's white older men who pursue you, or is it older men of all races/ethnicities?)

    2) Where are you and your Latino, black, white, and Asian friends when the older men approach?
    If you are in a bar that is usually racially/ethnically mixed, or is mixed on certain nights of the week, it would make sense that older men (whether black, white, Asian, Latino, whatever) who are attracted to dark-complected men or to Latinos would go to the same place, hoping to try to score.
    Try going to the a different bar or to the same bar on a different night, and see if you get the same attention.

    3) Yes, everyone does have a preference. Some younger men prefer the company of men who are older than they are. Some do not. Apparently, you are among the latter. No judgement here, but there shouldn't be any judgement either against older men who prefer the company of younger men, unless they are hitting on you in an obnoxious way or generally making pests of themselves.



    Latino and Asian are not races.
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    Aug 02, 2014 3:12 PM GMT
    whytehot said
    kevex said
    gooddaytoday saidLots of old men are looking for younger, (to re-live some teenage romance that they missed out on) but are savvy enough not to bother with guys with whom they don't stand a chance. A lot of gays think whites are hottest, to the point where some blacks and Asians will settle for older just to get a white guy, so there's a match made in hell.



    lo Harsh but true. Since whites are always put on a pedestal, they think minorities are more open to dating them.


    Lol common knowledge. Love the old guy above me who created an account just to "disagree"


    "All my friends have noticed this long before I did, but are always very vague with the answers "everyone's got preferences"... like yeah of course, but it doesn't explain the pattern lol."

    OP's frds didn't have the heart to tell him the ugly truth about the gay scene
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    Aug 02, 2014 3:58 PM GMT
    LC92 saidPeople are shown to have more empathy as they get older (a.k.a parenting age). Maybe they don't feel as "inside the box" with only dating other white guys due to the supposed preferences that imperialism has brought. They probably feel like they're missing out so they do that when they're older, kinda like an existentialist crisis/to make their life feel more wholesome.

    Maybe that's the reason more old guys let go of their inhibitions and have orgies lol.

    I dunno about what studies "show" this. All I can tell you is that as I've gotten older (one of the oldest regular RJ members here) I hardly think about racial or ethnic distinctions.

    I mean, I'm able to notice if a guy is Black, or Asian, or something. But it's about as significant to me as how he wears his hair. It really doesn't matter to me. A guy is a guy.

    I actually became this way thanks to the US Army. Where we all wore the same uniforms, and skin color and facial features were irrelevant, otherwise all looking alike. Uniformity taught me to look at the basic man, not his meme.
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    Aug 02, 2014 6:34 PM GMT
    I've seen older gay white men with younger Latino and other White guys (who are much younger). So it's a double standard if they're with a Black or Asian dude? Lol That's not fair !! If you're an adult, then it's all good. How's about an Older minority guy with a younger white guy say (32 yo, to a 19 yo)??? is that frown upon? lol )*hint, I'm in that situation) icon_lol.gificon_redface.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Aug 02, 2014 6:43 PM GMT
    Probably because they seem to like us. It is obviously a generalization, but as ArtDeco said, you get less prejudiced as you get older and come to know a good guy is a good guy. Too, I think many non-white cultures encourage a serious attitude younger and respect for older that western white culture does not.
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    Aug 02, 2014 6:58 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidProbably because they seem to like us. It is obviously a generalization, but as ArtDeco said, you get less prejudiced as you get older and come to know a good guy is a good guy. Too, I think many non-white cultures encourage a serious attitude younger and respect for older that western white culture does not.


    so how about we start teaching people to be less prejudice at younger age? LOLOL

    or is this impossible?
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    Aug 03, 2014 6:05 AM GMT
    kevex said

    Latino and Asian are not races.


    If you'll reread my post, you'll notice I used the terms "races/ethnicities" and "racially/ethnically".

    Do you have a problem with those terms? Or are latinos and Asians not members of ethnic groups, either?
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    Aug 03, 2014 6:31 AM GMT
    RPearson said
    kevex said

    Latino and Asian are not races.


    If you'll reread my post, you'll notice I used the terms "races/ethnicities" and "racially/ethnically".

    Do you have a problem with those terms? Or are latinos and Asians not members of ethnic groups, either?



    Asians are not an ethnic group. There are many Asians: Middle Easterners, Russians, South Asians (Indians, Pakistanis,etc.) East Asians. Latinos are also very diverse. There are Sephardic Jews (Hispanic Jews) Amerindian tribes, Afro-Caribbean, German-Brazilian,etc.
  • Iakona

    Posts: 367

    Aug 03, 2014 3:32 PM GMT
    I used to date older guys when I was younger (maybe 10 - 15 years older then me), only because I was pretty mature at a young age....funny enough though, I ended up with a guy 6 years younger then me..... I just go where fate takes me... the same probably goes for others.
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    Aug 03, 2014 4:35 PM GMT
    leafgreen said
    Destinharbor saidProbably because they seem to like us. It is obviously a generalization, but as ArtDeco said, you get less prejudiced as you get older and come to know a good guy is a good guy. Too, I think many non-white cultures encourage a serious attitude younger and respect for older that western white culture does not.

    so how about we start teaching people to be less prejudice at younger age? LOLOL

    or is this impossible?

    I think military service is one way to teach it young. But of course I realize the service is not for everyone, and I don't support making everyone wear a uniform.

    Story: 1970 and I was a 21-year-old Army Motor Sergeant. One day I was in the Company Orderly Room (HQs office) when a Sergeant from another unit came in looking for a certain Staff Sergeant. I said I'd seen him in our Motor Pool about 15 minutes earlier.

    He asked me for a physical description. "Oh, I think I've met him before," said this other Sergeant. "He's Black, right?"

    And I couldn't remember! I had his face right in front of me, mustache and all, but his skin color wasn't part of my memory. I'd worked with this guy, even been to his house for dinner, eaten with his wife and 2 kids, and I couldn't remember THEIR skin color, either.

    When I fumbled the question this Sergeant gave me a disbelieving look like I didn't know what the Hell I was talking about. Afterwards I couldn't wait to see SSG Billie Evans again, to confirm what color he was. Yep, he was Black.

    It was just that his color was irrelevant to me, as well as his race. He was a fellow soldier, that's all I dealt with and needed to know. It also happened that in that same unit my closest personal friend was Black, too.

    Now HIS color I was constantly reminded about, because we went out to restaurants, bars, movies, shopping, etc. (In retrospect I realize we were in effect dating, since I had an early gay crush on him I didn't yet understand).

    Because when a Black and a White guy were seen in a restaurant together in Kentucky in 1970 more heads turned than if we were both painted purple. But no one ever asked us to leave, or I would have played the military card on them (it was obvious we were soldiers), and no businesses in the vicinity of Fort Knox would dare want to be put on the military banned list and lose all that money.

    So they tolerated us both, and I loved it. Because as my friend told me, he was afraid to go into these nicer places alone, or with other Blacks, soldiers or not. I liked being his "shield" even while I was disgusted that such a device would be necessary in this country.

    And although it had insulting overtones of my being the Benevolent Master, him my lackey, we both agreed the greater good was people seeing him in places where Blacks weren't expected. Plus he was enjoying the finer "White" things he'd otherwise be denied.

    I HATED there was this racial division in our country, and to some extent still is. I wanted to break it down. And why I also oppose second-class status for LGBT, and break that down, too. Maybe that's another reason old gays like me can be preferential & empathetic to minorities.