Anyone ever feel like you don't fit in

  • JoeJoe193

    Posts: 14

    Jul 31, 2014 2:29 AM GMT
    Sometimes it seems like I never fit in with people my age or where I'm from. It just seems like everyone else is more worried about the next party when worried about about the next time I go to the gym. I want to meet more people with common interests as me and who talk about idea and not people but it seems really hard to find those kind of people. Anyone ever felt the same?
  • JoeJoe193

    Posts: 14

    Jul 31, 2014 2:30 AM GMT
    JoeJoe193 saidSometimes it seems like I never fit in with people my age or where I'm from. It just seems like everyone else is more worried about the next party when worried about about the next time I go to the gym. I want to meet more people with common interests as me and who talk about idea and not people but it seems really hard to find those kind of people. Anyone ever felt the same?
    *im more worried about* I need to start proof reading
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    Jul 31, 2014 2:31 AM GMT
    JoeJoe193 said
    JoeJoe193 saidSometimes it seems like I never fit in with people my age or where I'm from. It just seems like everyone else is more worried about the next party when worried about about the next time I go to the gym. I want to meet more people with common interests as me and who talk about idea and not people but it seems really hard to find those kind of people. Anyone ever felt the same?
    *im more worried about* I need to start proof reading


    You're 18, that sort of angst is normal!
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    Jul 31, 2014 2:36 AM GMT
    http://south-carolina.meetup.com/

    ...sigh

    and

    Baby Shower last week--so, yeah.
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    Jul 31, 2014 4:02 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidhttp://south-carolina.meetup.com/

    ...sigh

    and

    Baby Shower last week--so, yeah.


    Meetup.com +1
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    Aug 01, 2014 4:08 PM GMT
    It took me years to figure out that this feeling of not fitting in was a form of self-aggrandizement. We all like to think we're special.
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    Aug 01, 2014 5:21 PM GMT
    I always attributed it to having lived in Europe until I was eight.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2939

    Aug 01, 2014 5:37 PM GMT
    Often feel that way, but then, I followed my real interests and passions, and all these years later I look back at what I've done, and am thankful I wasn't partying and hanging out at bars all the time.

    Find your own real interests and follow them. You'll find companionship there when you figure out what you really want to do.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Aug 01, 2014 8:02 PM GMT
    All the time. This planet is not my home.
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    Aug 01, 2014 8:08 PM GMT
    I'll tell you one thing, man. You live in SF...if you have to be an alien, that's the place!

    icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 02, 2014 7:06 AM GMT
    It's not uncommon for guys OP's age to be out partying and wanting to fuck everything that moves. icon_biggrin.gif

    The key is finding a balance between mindless fun and meaningful activities/interests. At such a young age, it's important to meet as many new people as possible. Somewhere along the way, you'll filter out all the worthless ones and establish friendships with the ones that have common interests.

    Don't be discouraged. Go out and have fun once in a while. Also, like someone suggested earlier, join some social clubs. Go out and meet people, make new friends. Gay or straight. Doesn't matter. Some of those straight friends might also have gay friends they can introduce you to.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Aug 02, 2014 7:28 AM GMT
    Nah, felt like I was the same especially within the gay community. Maybe that was the issue, too alike.
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    Aug 02, 2014 7:23 PM GMT
    xrichx saidIt's not uncommon for guys OP's age to be out partying and wanting to fuck everything that moves. icon_biggrin.gif

    The key is finding a balance between mindless fun and meaningful activities/interests. At such a young age, it's important to meet as many new people as possible. Somewhere along the way, you'll filter out all the worthless ones and establish friendships with the ones that have common interests.

    Don't be discouraged. Go out and have fun once in a while. Also, like someone suggested earlier, join some social clubs. Go out and meet people, make new friends. Gay or straight. Doesn't matter. Some of those straight friends might also have gay friends they can introduce you to.


    Definitely some truth and overall good advise, however please remember you are an individual and have the right to have your view on life. Many gay men overtime become 'gay clones' through over indulgence in the gay scene life and loose who they are.

    Please enjoy yourself but as hard as it may sometimes be you will be much happier sticking to your personal morals in the long run. Gay culture is based on sexualising of males and when your young and cute the attention you get is intoxicating and that is where people start to try to change themselves to keep chasing the 'admiration' fix to make themselves feel more secure.

    I myself have experienced what you say your going through and so will others but I made sure if found a way to meet good people and to still enjoy doing what I like doing instead of just wilting to the 'bitches' who put people down because you may dare to have interests that they don't consider 'gay especially sports or other activities more commonly perceive as only being enjoyed by str8 men.

    There are guys like you but usually not found on the scene and they are harder to reach but you will find then by being yourself and not a 'scene clone' ( referring to the clubs and SOP as well as internet dating/hook up sites.
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    Aug 02, 2014 7:26 PM GMT
    JoeJoe193 saidSometimes it seems like I never fit in with people my age or where I'm from. It just seems like everyone else is more worried about the next party when worried about about the next time I go to the gym. I want to meet more people with common interests as me and who talk about idea and not people but it seems really hard to find those kind of people. Anyone ever felt the same?


    yup I never FIT IN!!
    lol
    crazy this life
    Just be yourself hottie
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    Aug 02, 2014 8:44 PM GMT
    The day I "fit in" is the day I hand in My resignation...

  • JoeJoe193

    Posts: 14

    Aug 03, 2014 4:18 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone for all the advice and insight I appreciate it.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 03, 2014 4:20 AM GMT
    I never fit in anywhere ... but I just stopped caring and just started being me ... if people don't like it, that's their problem, not mine
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    Aug 03, 2014 4:51 AM GMT
    I believe everyone will experience feeling left out and rejected at some points in life. That's part of being human.

    Of course, some will experience it more often than others. I feel that way about myself too all the time (imagine being a closeted gay among straight guys).

    Even on "virtual gay community" here on RJ, I often don't feel fit in either. icon_cry.gificon_cry.gif
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    Aug 03, 2014 6:00 AM GMT
    All the time lol
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    Aug 03, 2014 9:57 AM GMT
    buddycat saidNah, felt like I was the same especially within the gay community. Maybe that was the issue, too alike.


    Me too, I have hard time fitting in gay community especially with gay males. I have so many straight friends but I have nothing in common with them.