Hard to get turn-on

  • Meo710

    Posts: 2

    Aug 05, 2014 3:37 PM GMT
    I've been keeping this to myself and I think this is a good place to talk bout things freely since I don't friend with gays that much (mostly straights). What I want to tell is my problem, I have this difficulty on getting turn-on whenever I am in partner with other people (anal sex, blowjob, etx.). However whenever I am alone like watching porn by myself it is easy to get hard...have anybody ever experience this kind of problem? I feel worry with this seriously...I am a bottom btw *sigh*
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 05, 2014 3:57 PM GMT
    I see you're in Brunei. Which is Muslim, I believe. Maybe you're just nervous. If you can, just start by finding a guy you truly trust. Explain to him what you've said here and ask him to not be offended or think it is anything to do with him. You say you're a bottom, so sex can be had without you getting hard. Just give it a go a few times and after a while, my guess is you'll relax and start feeling it. Good luck, guy.
  • Meo710

    Posts: 2

    Aug 05, 2014 4:16 PM GMT
    Thanks...i was having the same thought too, maybe its because I am feeling nervous, anxious about what my partner would feel when I have sex with him...like would he get satisfiy or not...those thoughts just keep bugging me :/ I guess I am not natural with these kind of stuffs
  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Aug 07, 2014 2:25 PM GMT
    Meo710 saidI've been keeping this to myself and I think this is a good place to talk bout things freely since I don't friend with gays that much (mostly straights). What I want to tell is my problem, I have this difficulty on getting turn-on whenever I am in partner with other people (anal sex, blowjob, etx.). However whenever I am alone like watching porn by myself it is easy to get hard...have anybody ever experience this kind of problem? I feel worry with this seriously...I am a bottom btw *sigh*


    Well chances are you are addicted to pornography.

    If this is something you have been doing for awhile then you have been bonding to porn rather than physical experiences. If you have to think about porn that you watched while you are trying to physically enjoy a person infront of you then that is when you know you have to make a change.

    You could try abstaining from it completely and take notice to how you feel if you were to be intimate with a person. You have to learn to distinguish fantasy from reality. A lot of those addicted have unrealistic expectations on what sex should be/feel like due to what they watch.

    But the first step I want you to do is look into this information yourself. Don't take anyone's word here, not even mine. Look into why you are having this problem. Read on others who may share your experiences and then decide for yourself what the best decision is for you to do.. icon_cool.gif

    Good luck!
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 07, 2014 2:34 PM GMT
    Ya, this^^^ is possible. I've run across guys that became so addicted to their own hand jerking off that no other stimulation actually could get them to orgasm. But my guess is you're just nervous. If your partner is a top and you explain to him that you're just nervous, he can have a fine time without you getting hard. Remember, sex is about fun and laughing. A nice guy will be cool with it.
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    Aug 08, 2014 6:23 PM GMT
    Amira said
    Meo710 saidI've been keeping this to myself and I think this is a good place to talk bout things freely since I don't friend with gays that much (mostly straights). What I want to tell is my problem, I have this difficulty on getting turn-on whenever I am in partner with other people (anal sex, blowjob, etx.). However whenever I am alone like watching porn by myself it is easy to get hard...have anybody ever experience this kind of problem? I feel worry with this seriously...I am a bottom btw *sigh*


    Well chances are you are addicted to pornography.

    If this is something you have been doing for awhile then you have been bonding to porn rather than physical experiences. If you have to think about porn that you watched while you are trying to physically enjoy a person infront of you then that is when you know you have to make a change.

    You could try abstaining from it completely and take notice to how you feel if you were to be intimate with a person. You have to learn to distinguish fantasy from reality. A lot of those addicted have unrealistic expectations on what sex should be/feel like due to what they watch.

    But the first step I want you to do is look into this information yourself. Don't take anyone's word here, not even mine. Look into why you are having this problem. Read on others who may share your experiences and then decide for yourself what the best decision is for you to do.. icon_cool.gif

    Good luck!
    Good post! I don't like porn much....if it ain't real, why bother!