Does it get any easier?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 09, 2014 10:47 AM GMT
    Just when I thought I had that rare moment when it was safe to hit on a guy, I got attacked and shoved to the floor. Stupid, but I waited for a couple hrs to observe the guys behavior at the bar and see if he was into dudes, but I made the mistake of assuming that he's gay just because a he's a clothing designer that fits the stereotype of being gay, turns out he's an mma fighter too. I wasn't even into him, I was just desperate for anything, and now I made a fool out of myself by being attacked and accidentally outing myself at a college campus bar.

    I hoped things would have gotten better a yr from now since my last forum but now i'm just an idiot who doesn't deserve anyone decent, not even for a petty hook up.
    I'm hella depressed now, I have scars on my face from a couple months ago, and I made a fool out of myself tonight by taking a risk and complimenting a guy who kept complimenting me in the bathroom at the bar. I was so pathetic that I took any male attention as flirting and risked getting my friends and bar staff hurt defening me. Why don't all of us fags just make it easier on everyone and kill ourselves? We don't belong in the world, it was made for straight people.
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    Aug 09, 2014 10:57 AM GMT
    Kill yourself first and then we follow icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 09, 2014 2:45 PM GMT
    jbobby said Why don't all of us fags just make it easier on everyone and kill ourselves? We don't belong in the world, it was made for straight people.

    That's one way to blow the situation way out of proportion.

    Give your bruised ego some time to heal and be smarter about who you hit on next mine. icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 09, 2014 3:40 PM GMT
    What did you say or do to him to have that bloke shoved you down ?
    Were you to upfront ?

    Look , watch , engage in a conversation and use pointers , before to do anything because , he might or not be gay , he also can be gay but in a serious relationship !
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 09, 2014 3:47 PM GMT
    OK. So 12 months apart you come on here and report that you've been completely inappropriate with someone in a bar and they got mad. I'm not sure what the problem is but I am pretty sure the problem is with you. Neither thread you've posted makes any sense. You sound crazy. Do you have difficulty with people outside of these attempts to pick up guys in bars? Do you have friends? I'm not trying to make you feel worse. I'm trying to get some more information in order to help. You've definitely got some issues.
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    Aug 09, 2014 4:12 PM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    jbobby said Why don't all of us fags just make it easier on everyone and kill ourselves? We don't belong in the world, it was made for straight people.

    That's one way to blow the situation way out of proportion.

    Give your bruised ego some time to heal and be smarter about who you hit on next mine. icon_wink.gif


    Thanks
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    Aug 09, 2014 4:19 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidOK. So 12 months apart you come on here and report that you've been completely inappropriate with someone in a bar and they got mad. I'm not sure what the problem is but I am pretty sure the problem is with you. Neither thread you've posted makes any sense. You sound crazy. Do you have difficulty with people outside of these attempts to pick up guys in bars? Do you have friends? I'm not trying to make you feel worse. I'm trying to get some more information in order to help. You've definitely got some issues.


    Ya I definitely have issues. And ya i have social anxiety, have lots of friends but no close ones anymore, and no I just felt the guy out, I never said anything inappropriate, but my buddy told me he got in a fight with someone else right after me, so the dude was probably just a dick in general and didn't understand I was trying to find out if he was gay. And I only post when i really need help, it's not like i act like this 24/7, just got some depression and there's no one to talk to
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    Aug 09, 2014 5:47 PM GMT
    Who's to say the guy wasn't gay, or bi, or "curious," or anything else non-hetero? I don't care what words he might've said. As you yourself know, OP, not every non-hetero man is comfortable and well-adjusted. Closeted politicians and "pastors" are some of our worst and most vocal enemies. ("Those who scream the loudest have the most to hide.") And just as some designers are not gay, MMA fighters who ARE are definitely out there.

    Of course, a lot of men do offer compliments to another man without there being any underlying motives, too. But since the person in question proved himself to be a jerk it's all beside the point.

    Welcome to the eternal quandary, "How far is it possible to get with this dude?" It can be a major hassle but isn't worth getting bummed out over.
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    Aug 09, 2014 5:55 PM GMT
    First off, make it easier on yourself....pick up guys in GAY bars! Or online GAY sites.

    You're 22 and live in CA. How far away can a Gay bar be??? Picking up guys in straight bars has always been a dicey proposition. While you can pick up guys there (even GAY guys), you must be discreet.

    Try your school's LGBT Student Union to meet people. I think every California school has one, from City College on up.

    You've mentioned that you are normal several times.
    It isn't "normal" to complement guys in a bathroom.
    It isn't "normal" to talk of killing ourselves
    It isn't "normal" to beg for companionship (I read the other thread)
    It isn't "normal" to be alone, but it isn't abnormal either.

    I came out in college when I was 18. I met people at Dignity, a Gay Catholic group, the local gay bars in Minneapolis, other students. And other Gay venues. I never had a problem meeting anyone, and I was shy back then! (Sort of!!!) Put yourself out there and let them come to you for awhile. Don't look so desperate, nobody wants someone needy!

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    Aug 09, 2014 7:03 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]timmm55 said[/cite]First off, make it easier on yourself....pick up guys in GAY bars! Or online GAY sites.

    You're 22 and live in CA. How far away can a Gay bar be??? Picking up guys in straight bars has always been a dicey proposition. While you can pick up guys there (even GAY guys), you must be discreet.

    Try your school's LGBT Student Union to meet people. I think every California school has one, from City College on up.

    You've mentioned that you are normal several times.
    It isn't "normal" to complement guys in a bathroom.
    It isn't "normal" to talk of killing ourselves
    It isn't "normal" to beg for companionship (I read the other thread)
    It isn't "normal" to be alone, but it isn't abnormal either.

    I came out in college when I was 18. I met people at Dignity, a Gay Catholic group, the local gay bars in Minneapolis, other students. And other Gay venues. I never had a problem meeting anyone, and I was shy back then! (Sort of!!!) Put yourself out there and let them come to you for awhile. Don't look so desperate, nobody wants someone needy!

    Ya I don't to mean diss gay people and i respect all input to help me and I'll probably get flamed for this statement but I finally got off my ass a couple weeks ago and went to a sacramento gay club, the only desirable guys there were straight and hanging out with their girlfriends and part of the staff. Now I have a DUI cus I got upset, gave up, didn't care what happened to me. I found more attractive guys in jail than that club. As for lgbt groups, that's like joining band or ROTC in high school, it only attracts attention seeking lesbians, straight women, flamers or undesirable guys in general.

    And believe me, I've checked out every gay website and app I can, for over a yr, no luck there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 09, 2014 7:43 PM GMT
    jbobby said[quote][cite]timmm55 said[/cite]First off, make it easier on yourself....pick up guys in GAY bars! Or online GAY sites.

    You're 22 and live in CA. How far away can a Gay bar be??? Picking up guys in straight bars has always been a dicey proposition. While you can pick up guys there (even GAY guys), you must be discreet.

    Try your school's LGBT Student Union to meet people. I think every California school has one, from City College on up.

    You've mentioned that you are normal several times.
    It isn't "normal" to complement guys in a bathroom.
    It isn't "normal" to talk of killing ourselves
    It isn't "normal" to beg for companionship (I read the other thread)
    It isn't "normal" to be alone, but it isn't abnormal either.

    I came out in college when I was 18. I met people at Dignity, a Gay Catholic group, the local gay bars in Minneapolis, other students. And other Gay venues. I never had a problem meeting anyone, and I was shy back then! (Sort of!!!) Put yourself out there and let them come to you for awhile. Don't look so desperate, nobody wants someone needy!

    Ya I don't to mean diss gay people and i respect all input to help me and I'll probably get flamed for this statement but I finally got off my ass a couple weeks ago and went to a sacramento gay club, the only desirable guys there were straight and hanging out with their girlfriends and part of the staff. Now I have a DUI cus I got upset, gave up, didn't care what happened to me. I found more attractive guys in jail than that club. As for lgbt groups, that's like joining band or ROTC in high school, it only attracts attention seeking lesbians, straight women, flamers or undesirable guys in general.

    And believe me, I've checked out every gay website and app I can, for over a yr, no luck there.


    So you got a DUI because of the "straight" guys hanging with his girlfriends? 1) how do you know they were straight? 2) The DUI is your behavior, not caused by them.
    The "undesirable guys in general" may be you to some others. They have friends and acquaintances. it's called social networking.