What Are the Real Priorities?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2007 1:26 AM GMT
    This thread is inspired by Kryzsyk's "Celebrate Life" thread.

    "Let me just remind everyone, though about real priorities and living a truly healthy existence, body and mind."

    So what do you all think are the real priorities?

    As I do my countdown to my verdict of live or die, I have thought about this. I would be interested in hear from you guys.

    It would also be interesting if you were willing to say with your answer, if you have ever been in a position of facing your possible death.
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    Sep 28, 2007 1:43 AM GMT
    I've come across a rather simplistic means of attaining happiness and that is to find something more important than you are (of course liable to your own subjectivity) and dedicate your life to it.

    I do not fear dying but, rather, rejoice in having lived.
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    Sep 28, 2007 3:37 AM GMT
    Real priorities? INPO

    My partner Iain.

    Our families.

    Honesty and Integrity.

    Continuing to search, learn, explore, test the limits.

    Giving something back to our community.

    Building something important that will continue to endure after we are no more than forgotten dust.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Caslon wrote: "It would also be interesting if you were willing to say with your answer, if you have ever been in a position of facing your possible death."

    Yes, several times, it kind of makes life more interesting doesn't it?

    R
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    Sep 28, 2007 4:09 AM GMT
    Tool wrote:I do not fear dying but, rather, rejoice in having lived.


    Well put.

    My current top 2 priorities -

    1. Myself - usually I put my friends first, but it's time to put myself first for a while. However...

    2. Friends - I'm also working on cultivating better friendships with a couple of people.

    Caslon wrote:It would also be interesting if you were willing to say with your answer, if you have ever been in a position of facing your possible death.


    Like Kryzsyk, I'm also a cancer survivor (Hodgkin's Disease)- 14 years remission as of this month.

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    Sep 28, 2007 6:01 AM GMT
    To live and to live as fully a possible, and by that I mean to be connected to time and space and people. Maybe not all at once and all the time, and there are times when I haven't done that, or been focused soleley on myself. But it is in a sense being in tune with the ebb a flow of life, with those starting it, and those ceding it. To be connected the the life, and living, and the death and dying; they joy and sorrow and all that there is inbetween the two. In a sense in tune with the subtlety of human existence in time and space.

    Okay I know that sounds corny. But but being aware of being alive and where.
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    Sep 28, 2007 7:12 AM GMT
    Priorities.. hmm.. nothing too profound here, I'm a simple guy icon_smile.gif

    I want to make sure those I care about around me are doing well and are happy.

    I also want to make sure the people around me make ME happy too icon_smile.gif

    Next priority is a degree of safety in life in terms of being able to have a comfortable life and take care of myself and family. Not looking for anything too fancy, but I don't want to be breaking my back every day just to get food and shelter. I've about done this now so it won't be a priority at least for a while, unless some unexpected thing happens to fuck it up icon_smile.gif

    Next, I like to take up new things and try to get good at them. I've managed to build skills in a variety of areas this way including academics, athletics, playing music, art, etc etc etc. I'm not great at most of these, they're just hobbies, but it keeps me from being bored at least. I do like to keep proving myself to myself in these types of things, to sort of keep one-upping whatever I've done up to that point.

    Hmm other than that I can't imagine of anything I need (though there are many things I WANT ). A good relationship hopefully sometime soon maybe would be nice, I suppose.

    One thing I want to say is that I've done the whole "try ot fix the world's problems" thing before but found that even though I was willing to sacrifice to help the less fortunate, I was never willing to reach their level of misfortune in my sacrifices. Made me realize that my "wanting to help" was somehow cheap and not sincere enough. After all, I would often put my WANTS over their NEEDS. Too many people need help in the world and I found I'm not willing to sacrifice all my wants and just fill my bare minimum needs in order to maximize how many I help. Now I focus on helping the few people around me who need it, which I feel is much more sincere on my part, because for those people I'm willing to go much farther since they are close to me.

    I did almost die once but I'm not sure if it counts as "facing" my death since I didn't realize I was going to die and by the time death was close I was passed out. When I was young, I used to get laringitis (sp) where basically your throat gets swollen and you can't breathe. Well I got this in the middle of the night once, and being the little dumb shit I am, I didn't want to wake up my parents and figured I could wait it out at least until morning. My throat kept closing up more and more till I could barely breathe, at which point I woke them up and they rushed me to the hospital, by which time I was passed out and blue in the face. Apparently the doctors tell me if I were a couple of minutes later I'd be either brain damaged or dead. It's kinda weird to have that happen but it didn't affect me too much to be honest. Or maybe it did, but I was too young to realize it who knows icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 28, 2007 8:05 AM GMT
    My top priorities right now:

    Get as healthy as I can as soon as I can and stay that way. Sure, I'll enjoy looking better and fitting into cuter clothes... but when it comes down to it, I just want to be the healthiest me I can be.

    Make sure those closest to me (right now that's my mom and my youngest sis) are healthy, happy and safe.

    Further my education and get that BA I've been wanting for so long...

    As for facing my own death... I have a few times. Once when I was pulled into an alley next to a gay bar and the guy was trying his best to beat me to death... and probably would have had I not gathered my wits and fought back. Another time was when I overdosed on heroin and, for all clinical purposes, died in the ambulance - was revived... then died twice in ER. Had the whole "near death experience" thing. Again earlier this year when I experienced a mini-stroke two weeks before my 45th birthday.

    I honestly don't fear death. I certainly don't want to die any time soon, because I feel I have too much that I haven't done yet... and I'm not ready to leave the people I love the most. But I try to remind myself to live each day as if it were my last, because you never know...

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 28, 2007 1:04 PM GMT
    To be happy.

    Talking about death. We all have to die someday. I leave it to my maker, whenever that time will be . Hopefully it not to soon . I have so much thing I want to do and accomplish.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Sep 28, 2007 2:42 PM GMT
    I have always said that if I died tomorrow I would look back and say I have had a fabulous life and have no regrets about not having done things.

    As I start to age and things start to slide, healthwise, mentally etc. I will try to keep as active as possible and sweeze as much fun out of my life as possible.

    My priorities are, of course, my loved ones, without them I would be alone and unloved. Life has taught me that unconditional love is fine, but real love takes work on all sides concerned, but is worth it.

    If you are loved and know how to love in this world, then you are successful I think.

    Loz
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    Sep 28, 2007 2:55 PM GMT
    Top priorities:

    Family- my parter, my nephew and niece, my parents
    Myself- taking care of myself mentally and physically
    Career- getting my PhD, my students
    Friends- my best friends and the ones I havent met yet
    Helping others- Always trying to see how to make the world a little better.



  • Nudista

    Posts: 158

    Sep 28, 2007 4:19 PM GMT
    Most Important to me:

    1)Health of my Family/Friends and Myself along with Faith in my God.

    2)Hapiness for my Family/Friends and Myself.

    3)Spread love and compassion to those willing to take it in...in a world where so little of this now exist.

    Yes, like several guys here, there was a time when i was starring death in the face...i apologize for the lack of details.

    AMB
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2007 6:46 PM GMT
    1. My health

    2. My career

    3. Medical bills/school loans
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2007 6:52 PM GMT
    My Health

    My Partner

    My family and Friends

    My Work
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    Sep 28, 2007 6:56 PM GMT
    1. my general welfare ($, health, etc.)

    2. friends/family

    3. my work

    4. sport

    5. helping change minds

    (2 through 5 feed into 1, respective to their rank)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2007 7:11 PM GMT
    1. Taking over the world.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2007 7:14 PM GMT
    pinky_brain.gif

    NARF!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2007 7:20 PM GMT
    should change his name to Cheney-Deltaforce icon_rolleyes.gif

    icon_lol.gif
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Sep 29, 2007 12:15 AM GMT
    my real priorities...

    These have changed drastically in my 30's...so I can only imagine they may be altered again as I grow older.

    1. To make a difference [somewhere, somehow]
    2. Maintain my friend and family relationships.
    3. To do the right thing
    4. To leave the earth in a better condition than I inherited it.

    It doesn't mean I don't want personal things like a comfortable, inviting house...longterm intimate partner...etc. I think these things would be icing and the top four 'the cake'...

    Finding out I was HIV positive was enough for me to realign my priorities...

    - David
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    Oct 02, 2007 4:30 PM GMT
    To love and be loved.
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    Oct 06, 2007 9:12 PM GMT
    Here is a good set of priorities beautifully stated by Alice Cary. I rediscovered it in a book of poetry, I bought as a teenager and have not opened in years.

    Nobility

    True worth is in being, not seeming,
    ..In doing, each day that goes by
    Some little good--not in dreaming
    ..Of great things to do by and by.
    For whatever men say in their blindness
    ..And spite of the fancies of youth,
    There's nothing so kingly as kindness,
    ..And nothing so royal as truth.

    We get back our mete as we measure--
    ..We cannot do wrong and feel right,
    Nor can we give pain and gain pleasure,
    ..For justice avenges each slight.
    The air for the wing of the sparrow,
    ..The bush for the robin and wren,
    But always the path that is narrow
    ..And straight, for the children of men.

    'Tis not in the pages of story
    ..The heart of its ills to beguile,
    Thought he who makes courtship to glory
    ..Gives all that he hath for her smile.
    For when from her heights he has won her,
    ..Alas! it is only to prove
    That nothing's so sacred as honor,
    ..And nothing so loyal as love!

    We cannot make bargains for blisses,
    ..Nor catch them like fishes in nets;
    And sometimes the thing our life misses
    ..Helps more than the thing which it gets.
    For good lieth not in pursuing,
    ..Nor gaining of great nor of small,
    But just in the doing, and doing
    ..As we would be done by, is all.