Same Bullshit, Different Day (Fast Forward 10 Years Later)...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2014 3:45 PM GMT
    If this comes off with some misandrist overtones, deal with it...

    As I have gotten older, I gave up looking for the "right one" for a few reasons-- because I got tired of dealing with guys who just weren't up to par with things & I got tired of looking for that fairy tale romance because it doesn't exist. I can handle being by myself. The pain itself pales in comparison to being with someone who makes you feel alone. My mother always taught me growing up, never ask for something you yourself cannot bring to the table.

    The more things change, the more they stay the same...and I also learned, the guys here...they weren't shit then, they aren't shit now & they're never gonna be shit. It's amazingly sad to see that the crackheads, dopeheads & wetheads have the nerve to carry an attitude, let alone have standards. The players change, but the game stays the same is what I've learned as I got wiser.

    Prime example, I had some friends ask me to go to the bar with them and I did, just to get out of the house, nothing special. As I was the main Tonto of the group, sitting at the bar alone, guys that I've met 10 years back, were trying to talk to me again! Thoughts that were running through my mind..."If this wack ass dude walking to me now was a scrub then, he's still a scrub today"... and of course, he did the expected approach (rubbing his hands together, licking his lips, coming at me with some tired ass walk) and the first words to come out of his mouth were, "Wassup wit'cha baby, how you doin'? Why you lookin' mean?"

    My answer was, "I was hoping it was to keep you from coming over here". In my mind, my reaction was to flash on the scrub & tell him to back off before he finds himself on the receiving end of a Dutch Scratching, but I digress...

    Over a small period of time, I've been running into guys who have burned, dissed & played me 10+ years ago & yet, they're trying to talk to me again as if I'm supposed to "sweep it under the rug" & overlook it. Fact of the matter is, I forgive them for their self-serving childishness but I should not have to be placed in an environment that's gonna test those boundaries.

    I've asked the questions as to why men cheat; never really got an answer as to why they play these little games. I drew my own conclusion & came up with 2 answers... Men, to me these days feel like they're the victims of an evolutionary process that fucks with their manhood & it makes everything they've brought to the table look null and void or unsatisfactory; the other reason is, men are basically scum...

    ...There's my $0.02

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    Aug 12, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
    W8n2Xhale_Remixed saidIf this comes off with some mysandristic overtones, deal with it......

    ...There's my $0.02



    I assume you meant misanthropic.

    If you exude negativity you will get negativity back.

    Well, at least you recognize the value...
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    Aug 12, 2014 7:05 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    W8n2Xhale_Remixed saidIf this comes off with some mysandristic overtones, deal with it......

    ...There's my $0.02



    I assume you meant misanthropic.

    If you exude negativity you will get negativity back.

    Well, at least you recognize the value...


    No, I meant misandrist...as in one who hates men...I wasn't exuding negativity to these guys years back...If I held them at arms' length, I'd be missing out but if I give them a chance and they're silly, then the shame's on me for not seeing the signs and there's no winning in that, right?
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    Aug 12, 2014 7:23 PM GMT
    No one can blame you if you have reservations about rekindling a friendship or relationship with people who have mistreated you in the past. However, people can grow and mature so keep them at arms length until they prove worthy of your time, attention, friendship.
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    Aug 12, 2014 8:29 PM GMT
    Sounds like you should meet some new people. Maybe change your location if you can.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Aug 12, 2014 11:14 PM GMT
    klobasnik saidSounds like you should meet some new people. Maybe change your location if you can.


    This quote is true and would help a lot of people but sometimes, people aren't able to change their location. If I could move, I so would haha.
  • Mondo_Bongo

    Posts: 80

    Aug 13, 2014 5:07 AM GMT
    i feel u my friend... men can not be trusted, especially gay men! i was dating my ex bf for 6 months..it was really fast.. we actually moved in together! but after 6 months dating i found out that he was married with a man and he had a bf at the same time.. i was the third,, and i was the one who got hurt... life is never fair!
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Aug 13, 2014 8:33 AM GMT
    Mondo_Bongo saidi feel u my friend... men can not be trusted, especially gay men! i was dating my ex bf for 6 months..it was really fast.. we actually moved in together! but after 6 months dating i found out that he was married with a man and he had a bf at the same time.. i was the third,, and i was the one who got hurt... life is never fair!


    WTH? That's terrible... I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that but don't lose faith. There are good guys out there and you deserve much better than that... Guy. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Seriously, to you and OP, I'm sure you'll meet the right guys in time. Just be patient and whatever you do, don't become bitter...
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    Aug 13, 2014 1:30 PM GMT
    Mondo_Bongo saidi feel u my friend... men can not be trusted, especially gay men! i was dating my ex bf for 6 months..it was really fast.. we actually moved in together! but after 6 months dating i found out that he was married with a man and he had a bf at the same time.. i was the third,, and i was the one who got hurt... life is never fair!

    I wouldn't generalize just because of a bad ex. It's not fair to everyone else who might be awesome for you.
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    Aug 13, 2014 6:34 PM GMT
    BloodFlame said
    Mondo_Bongo saidi feel u my friend... men can not be trusted, especially gay men! i was dating my ex bf for 6 months..it was really fast.. we actually moved in together! but after 6 months dating i found out that he was married with a man and he had a bf at the same time.. i was the third,, and i was the one who got hurt... life is never fair!


    WTH? That's terrible... I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that but don't lose faith. There are good guys out there and you deserve much better than that... Guy. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Seriously, to you and OP, I'm sure you'll meet the right guys in time. Just be patient and whatever you do, don't become bitter...


    I won't become bitter...I wouldn't give these scrubs here the satisfaction. When the shit hits the fans for them, I'm the one they try to look to for a shoulder to cry on;

    Mondo_,
    You went through something that would make someone as good-hearted as myself turn into a real ice wall. He's not going to have it good! If doing something of that sort is what inflates his ego, then he's the one with the issues. A real man wouldn't resort to those kind of childish tactics, then again, we're talking about gay men...a real man has some sense of decency, dignity, integrity, loyalty, along with a sense of respect for other people's feelings. To be frank about it, your ex-bf is the fucking scum of the earth.
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    Aug 13, 2014 7:42 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidNo one can blame you if you have reservations about rekindling a friendship or relationship with people who have mistreated you in the past. However, people can grow and mature so keep them at arms length until they prove worthy of your time, attention, friendship.


    What do I look like, a glutton for punishment? You get one shot to do me in; I refuse to give someone the satisfaction of me watching them out of the corner of my eye. You're an ex for a reason, especially if you're the OP that fucked up big time...

    Friends on the other hand, are another topic; the ones I dealt with were nothing more than some bottom feeding, self-serving opportunists. It goes for both sides of the fence, friends or lovers

    Once the trust is gone, it is no more, no ifs, ands, buts, negotiations, drawbacks or discussions about it. I have seen their track record and I realised why they can't friends or keep lovers(:

    All I can say is, karma can be a real bitch & a ½...
  • Noeton

    Posts: 208

    Aug 13, 2014 9:54 PM GMT
    Yeah, I would try to avoid giving such guys many chances. I try to avoid sleazy places, like some bars -- except when a certain old friend is in town icon_twisted.gif. There was a time in my 20s when that was all kind of fun, but now I'm more into something solid and I try to limit my emotional resources to someone who is looking for the same.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Aug 13, 2014 11:42 PM GMT
    It is a rare man who deserves more than just your cock up his ass. We men are destined to remain pigs for eternity.

    icon_lol.gif