Why do guys state 'hit me a message or say Hi' and then don't bother to respond...?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2014 6:56 PM GMT
    Am I the only one this has happened to or are there other guys who gave experienced this?

    When I read a guy's profile and it states 'hit me a message or don't be shy, say Hi', this to me would indicate that the person does not mind receiving a message. I have sent messages to various guys all to be ignored... Can someone tell me why they do that? To me it seems they see themselves as far superior to anybody else or they are just damn arrogant!!!

    I have heard that there are guys here who are trolling other guys which I do not agree with, but to ignore one's friendly message? Come on guys, arrogance is rude!

    Also, what about those guys who will only entertain any conversation if you are under a certain age and have a rippled body and eat, drink, sleep and breathe workouts!!! If everybody was as lean and rippled, life would be too boring. ..

    Any guys here have had the same treatment/experience?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2014 7:12 PM GMT
    Because they want specific types of guys to hit them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2014 7:45 PM GMT
    You have no picture. That could be it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2014 8:18 PM GMT
    I don't think it's to do with the pictures. If it was then they could politely ask and I would gladly provide. Those that have asked have then gone quiet after I have released the picture... I am no adonis, I admit that.

    I have been polite and I respect everyone immaterial of their build, looks or otherwise. It's just basic courtesy to respond back politely. It's not that I am asking them to share their life story or very personal details with me.

    Having said that, there have been some really nice blokes who have been polite and courteous, but the majority have just been damn outright rude.

    I suppose I can only be polite as I have been taught. I can't change the other person!!!
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Aug 12, 2014 9:00 PM GMT
    Buddy, you need to reevaluate your profile. The first reason guys aren't answering your messages IS because you have no picture. No one feels compelled to talk to someone who won't even trust him enough to offer a pic. The second reason is because if they do open the profile, they're immediately hit with the fact that you're married and closeted. You then go on to point out at length how you don't have time to have a relationship. You mention it twice. Maybe you should rearrange your priorities. Think through what it is you want. Then write a profile that talks about that and what your interests are, something to give a reader some reason to want to talk to you. I understand you are terrified to offer up anything but ya gotta give if ya wanta receive. Good luck, man.
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Aug 12, 2014 9:32 PM GMT
    "say hi" puts no obligation on the receiver to say hi back . He is stating he likes for other people to say hi to him.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Aug 12, 2014 10:18 PM GMT
    killercliche said"say hi" puts no obligation on the receiver to say hi back . He is stating he likes for other people to say hi to him.


    I don't understand the obsession some have with receiving a reply from people they don't know
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2014 10:25 PM GMT
    You don't have any public pictures...
    That's probably your first problem.

  • Inque

    Posts: 517

    Aug 12, 2014 10:28 PM GMT
    ACRO_Slim saidYou don't have any public pictures...
    That's probably your first problem.



    Bing--fucking--o!
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Aug 12, 2014 11:39 PM GMT
    I agree, you may have better luck with public pics but I also agree they want a specific type of guys to hit them up as well. It certainly easier if someone else hits them up and they decide if they want to respond. What would you do if someone hit you up that you have no interest in?
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Aug 13, 2014 1:42 AM GMT
    This is the internet.
    You have unreal expectations.
    It's best to send message (if you want to), THEN FORGET ABOUT IT.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 1:47 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for your comments and suggestions. Perhaps I have unreal expectations...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 2:02 AM GMT
    Welcome to RJ.

    When a profile says "hit me a message or don't be shy, say Hi", read it as "I like attention, I can be friendly under the right circumstances, and I'll respond if I'm not too busy and I think you're hot." A facepic would help, since then they could tell if you look hot to them, but it would not change the basic pattern. I didn't notice your age, but generally the older RJrs, who don't look exactly "hot" would be more likely to respond. Your greetings are basically messages send out into the void of space, and if you get a response, just chalk it up to being lucky. So, post a facepic, follow Destinharbor's response, and you might get an occasional response.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 4:02 AM GMT
    kevex saidBecause they want specific types of guys to hit them.

    This is usually the correct answer.

    I challenge OP to create a second profile. Use pics of a guy that look similar to the guys that are on someone's Hot List. Just make sure it's not obviously fake. Send a message with just Hi or whatever. BOOM. I guarantee instant response. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 12:14 PM GMT
    <--------------- responds to everyone because my parents taught me right, well besides the one guy who first wrote to me " got any nudes"? I replied No and then blocked him. WTF have some tact, apparently some gay guys have issues with tact.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 2:49 PM GMT
    I've been on this site for six years and outside of thanking a stranger for hot- or buddy-listing me (I don't do either) or complimenting them on a forum point I don't think I ever initiated contact with anybody. Maybe I just don't get it and I have the wrong attitude but since I'm (or despite being) short on local IRL friends and I can get plenty of interaction in the forums I never saw the point in just reaching out and saying "hi" to someone in cyberspace, hot or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 2:51 PM GMT
    They are only interested in hot guys. Not everyone is on the same. playing field looks-wise. Flirting and sexuality are both risk assessments (time and energy being the currency).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 4:29 PM GMT
    I find it more rude when guys never say thank you when you hot list them or comment on their photos. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 4:31 PM GMT
    Because they don't want to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 8:33 PM GMT
    I've been on this site for a while and tried the internet dating apps too. I've been ignored and ignored a number of guys. These are some main reasons guys don't response back.

    1/ No profile picture or weird pic, (Fake profile included)
    2/ He doesn't like what you write in your profile.
    3/ He doesn't like your pictures (you're not hot enough for him).
    4/ He or you came off as very rude, asking for something offensive. (whether it's sexual, skype, cam or whatever)
    5/ He's just not that into you or hooking up over the internet.
    6/ He already has a bf or trying to hide that fact.
    7/ He's just looking for other **hot guys, whatever that definition may be.




  • Edgeman0101

    Posts: 7

    Aug 13, 2014 9:27 PM GMT
    Because the gays on here and in the world in general all go along with the 3 "G" rule, Get in, Get off, Get out... you not having a picture posted is a hindrance, but just because you do post one gives you no guarantee unless you look like you are 20 and work in adult films, ie, you have a solid physique, 6 pack abs, 8+ inch dick and a bubble butt.

    Gay men are shallow and hypocritical... 95% of them spend their time with one eye on their man, one eye on their phone/app and one eye on the door... Just like stereotypes, everyone wants to say how bad they are but the reason they are is because there really is truth in them, if you can't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 10:03 PM GMT
    You have to not care at all on this site. Or guys in general.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2014 11:07 PM GMT
    I have the intention, as I state on my profile, to reply to every message but if said message is weak, meaningless, boring and sent by a rather empty profile then I don't bother. Sorry.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2014 12:51 AM GMT
    YPP1 saidI have the intention, as I state on my profile, to reply to every message but if said message is weak, meaningless, boring and sent by a rather empty profile then I don't bother. Sorry.


    Hola, guapo. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2014 1:04 AM GMT
    bradomo saidYou have to not care at all on this site. Or guys in general.


    +1. Expect too much on here and you're bound to be very disappointed. icon_rolleyes.gif