Don't say "hi" or "how are you"

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Aug 15, 2014 10:17 AM GMT
    I see these kinds of terms on 65% of profiles when it comes to online and I never understood it much.

    Granted, I do think that if someone initiates with a single worded message such as "sup" or 'whatup" and so on, that can be annoying. But when the guys profile is basically empty with nothing to go on to start a conversation with, it just perplexes me when they say the aforementioned quotes honestly.

    I feel that some insight would be nice to know about this kind of thing. How do you guys feel about this?icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 11:01 AM GMT
    waving-hi-text-smiley-emoticon.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 12:49 PM GMT
    When one is introduced to someone or greets someone they usually begin with hi, so it doesn't bother me much for someone's first message to be a simple hi or hello. Not a fan of sup. For me it smacks of lazy speech or lack of education.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 1:26 PM GMT
    Usually when people write they don't like "sup" I send a "What is up" icon_lol.gif But the funny thing is that the majority of people don't even respond when you reply in whatever way they want you to reply. So in my situation, I'm kind of screwed whether or not I send one-word replies. icon_biggrin.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11829

    Aug 15, 2014 2:37 PM GMT
    I think a person that is so consumed about introductions may have problems connecting on deeper levels. I'd rather hear a "hi", than " You dumb fuck".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 2:51 PM GMT
    What are you supposed to say other than the niceties such as hi and how are you in the initial message? This is why I never message people online. At least on here you can hotlist people and that may strike a convo but when on dating sites it's difficult to know what to say without being forward.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 3:01 PM GMT
    so tell me, how else are you supposed to break the ice and initiate communication without knowing the person then?
  • Aleco_Graves

    Posts: 708

    Aug 15, 2014 3:04 PM GMT
    BloodFlame saidI see these kinds of terms on 65% of profiles when it comes to online and I never understood it much.

    Granted, I do think that if someone initiates with a single worded message such as "sup" or 'whatup" and so on, that can be annoying. But when the guys profile is basically empty with nothing to go on to start a conversation with, it just perplexes me when they say the aforementioned quotes honestly.

    I feel that some insight would be nice to know about this kind of thing. How do you guys feel about this?icon_question.gif


    I am on both sides of the fence. Yes its a normal greeting, but try and not follow some "Pick up a conversation with any guy" message format. do some effort and read the guys profile, ask questions based on it or comment on something that peaked you interest. It makes for more personal conversations
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 3:18 PM GMT
    This is why I hate it when dudes hotlist me or buddylist me on a whim. How do hotlist/buddylist someone and then not want to talk to them when you hit them up? That's craziness. It's infuriating.

    No one wants to talk here. Everyone here is a Pic Pirate and only knows how to talk with their eyes and sex.

    I actually read profiles and use the info in profiles to start a conversation. That's the purpose of a profile. Profiles that are empty don't even get acknowledged by because I just find them creepy. I call people out every day for not reading my profile. I've turned into a complete dick because of people's inability to read, pay attention and to be mindful/respectful of others.

    I never just say "hi" when I contact someone. I always ask questions to get a response. I feel people are just lame these days and have one-track minds.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 3:37 PM GMT
    Aleco_Graves said
    BloodFlame saidI see these kinds of terms on 65% of profiles when it comes to online and I never understood it much.

    Granted, I do think that if someone initiates with a single worded message such as "sup" or 'whatup" and so on, that can be annoying. But when the guys profile is basically empty with nothing to go on to start a conversation with, it just perplexes me when they say the aforementioned quotes honestly.

    I feel that some insight would be nice to know about this kind of thing. How do you guys feel about this?icon_question.gif


    I am on both sides of the fence. Yes its a normal greeting, but try and not follow some "Pick up a conversation with any guy" message format. do some effort and read the guys profile, ask questions based on it or comment on something that peaked you interest. It makes for more personal conversations


    That's all correct to make sure you actually read the information on the profile but I would have thought you asked those kind questions or discussed information obtained on a profile AFTER you establish contact with the other user.
  • WxStud

    Posts: 9

    Aug 15, 2014 5:15 PM GMT
    Of course, say "hi" but follow up with something (a compliment or question). And PLEASE send an accompanying pic if you don't have one on your profile. I know discretion is sometimes necessary, but I HATE having no idea who I'm speaking with and am much less likely to chat with you because of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 5:40 PM GMT
    I feel like it's a lazy way of saying, "I want you to start the conversation," which is usually a bad idea with me because I'm a terrible conversationalist.
    If I'm feeling snarky, I counter with "Hi," in return. Serves 'em right for playing on my good will to force me to start the talking.

    Regardless, I think it's fine to use, though people should be aware that it isn't the best at getting a response. I am less likely to respond seriously unless the fellah is extra cute.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 5:54 PM GMT
    AutumnalStride saidI am less likely to respond seriously unless the fellah is extra cute.


    Spoken like a stereotypical gay guy.

    Who in their right mind upon being introduced to someone who says, "Hi, pleasure to meet you" would respond with: "Really? That's all you got? How unoriginal"? Yet somehow in the anonymity of the online world we have no qualms about being unnecessarily rude to each other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 5:58 PM GMT
    talknerdy2me saidso tell me, how else are you supposed to break the ice and initiate communication without knowing the person then?


    There's usually enough information in the activity info or photos to open with something more personal or interesting. If I were trying to catch your eye, I'd - at the very least - make a reference to chemistry cat, because chemistry cat is hilarious...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 6:10 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    AutumnalStride saidI am less likely to respond seriously unless the fellah is extra cute.


    Spoken like a stereotypical gay guy.

    Who in their right mind upon being introduced to someone who says, "Hi, pleasure to meet you" would respond with: "Really? That's all you got? How unoriginal"? Yet somehow in the anonymity of the online world we have no qualms about being unnecessarily rude to each other.


    See, there's a difference between "Hi," and "Hi, pleasure to meet you," even though they are ultimately very similar in meaning. "Hi," is a greeting, usually meant to be followed up by something. It's an incomplete thought, whereas "Hi, pleasure to meet you," is including the implication that they enjoy being introduced to you. That at least gives the recipient something to work with in a response.

    Imagine, if you would, that some stranger walks up to you out of the blue and says, "Hi."
    My response is to get extremely awkward with something to the effect of, "Uh... hi," and I would try to end the conversation due to social anxiety. If the guy were cute, I may be less inclined to do so (though I would be just as awkward). So am I acting out of character because I'm online? Nope. Am I still as shallow as a wading pool? Yep. I'm just honest about it, and I've cut out most of the awkwardness. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 6:24 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    UndercoverMan said
    AutumnalStride saidI am less likely to respond seriously unless the fellah is extra cute.


    Spoken like a stereotypical gay guy.

    Who in their right mind upon being introduced to someone who says, "Hi, pleasure to meet you" would respond with: "Really? That's all you got? How unoriginal"? Yet somehow in the anonymity of the online world we have no qualms about being unnecessarily rude to each other.


    exactly... and i bet you he's the type of guy that waits for people to approach him. icon_lol.gif then gets mad talking about the gay community is "superficial" or whatever excuse when nobody does. i don't get people who set standards for others that they themselves can't even reach.

    most of these guys on that shit NEVER are the ones to initiate.

    Aww, don't make personal attacks. That's not cool. :C I'll be so mega sad if people I don't know and will never meet from the internet don't approve of me! Perish the thought!

    Sarcasm aside, I do initiate. I always include a compliment of some sort or a genuine question, not just, "Hi."
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4863

    Aug 15, 2014 6:28 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidWhen one is introduced to someone or greets someone they usually begin with hi, so it doesn't bother me much for someone's first message to be a simple hi or hello. Not a fan of sup. For me it smacks of lazy speech or lack of education.


    When I was a kid, when people met, they always said, "How do you do?" The excepted socially correct response, regardless of how one was doing, was, "Fine, thank you." That may seem trite, but no more so that what people say now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 6:32 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidWhiny ass rant is.....whiny....



    Says the whiniest dickhead in this site. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4863

    Aug 15, 2014 6:32 PM GMT
    Then there are those who send the message, "ASL"? To that I respond, "I'm sorry, but I don't know American sign language.".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 6:50 PM GMT
    AutumnalStride said
    UndercoverMan said
    AutumnalStride saidI am less likely to respond seriously unless the fellah is extra cute.


    Spoken like a stereotypical gay guy.

    Who in their right mind upon being introduced to someone who says, "Hi, pleasure to meet you" would respond with: "Really? That's all you got? How unoriginal"? Yet somehow in the anonymity of the online world we have no qualms about being unnecessarily rude to each other.


    See, there's a difference between "Hi," and "Hi, pleasure to meet you," even though they are ultimately very similar in meaning. "Hi," is a greeting, usually meant to be followed up by something. It's an incomplete thought, whereas "Hi, pleasure to meet you," is including the implication that they enjoy being introduced to you. That at least gives the recipient something to work with in a response.

    Imagine, if you would, that some stranger walks up to you out of the blue and says, "Hi."
    My response is to get extremely awkward with something to the effect of, "Uh... hi," and I would try to end the conversation due to social anxiety. If the guy were cute, I may be less inclined to do so (though I would be just as awkward). So am I acting out of character because I'm online? Nope. Am I still as shallow as a wading pool? Yep. I'm just honest about it, and I've cut out most of the awkwardness. icon_razz.gif


    But when you initiate an introduction online saying "Hi, pleasure to meet you" is putting the cart before the horse. You haven't met yet. For me, a simple hi is not an incomplete thought but rather is an invitation to the other person to say hello back, to let the guy know you have manners and are possibly interested in getting to know them better.

    I live in a city where total strangers, as they are passing on the street, greet each other with a "hello" or "good morning." I would never look at them as if they were crazy and ignore their greeting. I politely say good morning back and continue on my merry way.

    Have people really lost the ability to be civil with each other?
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Aug 15, 2014 6:57 PM GMT
    I don't mind an introductory "Hi". The ones that really irk me as openers are "How Hung?", "What are you into" or just cutting straight to the point with "Wanna Fuck?" icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 7:26 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    AutumnalStride said
    UndercoverMan said
    AutumnalStride saidI am less likely to respond seriously unless the fellah is extra cute.


    Spoken like a stereotypical gay guy.

    Who in their right mind upon being introduced to someone who says, "Hi, pleasure to meet you" would respond with: "Really? That's all you got? How unoriginal"? Yet somehow in the anonymity of the online world we have no qualms about being unnecessarily rude to each other.


    See, there's a difference between "Hi," and "Hi, pleasure to meet you," even though they are ultimately very similar in meaning. "Hi," is a greeting, usually meant to be followed up by something. It's an incomplete thought, whereas "Hi, pleasure to meet you," is including the implication that they enjoy being introduced to you. That at least gives the recipient something to work with in a response.

    Imagine, if you would, that some stranger walks up to you out of the blue and says, "Hi."
    My response is to get extremely awkward with something to the effect of, "Uh... hi," and I would try to end the conversation due to social anxiety. If the guy were cute, I may be less inclined to do so (though I would be just as awkward). So am I acting out of character because I'm online? Nope. Am I still as shallow as a wading pool? Yep. I'm just honest about it, and I've cut out most of the awkwardness. icon_razz.gif


    But when you initiate an introduction online saying "Hi, pleasure to meet you" is putting the cart before the horse. You haven't met yet. For me, a simple hi is not an incomplete thought but rather is an invitation to the other person to say hello back, to let the guy know you have manners and are possibly interested in getting to know them better.

    I live in a city where total strangers, as they are passing on the street, greet each other with a "hello" or "good morning." I would never look at them as if they were crazy and ignore their greeting. I politely say good morning back and continue on my merry way.

    Have people really lost the ability to be civil with each other?


    I think this is really different. Messaging someone online is nothing like meeting someone on the street. You are choosing one of literally thousands of guys to contact, not greeting a passerby, so why have you chosen to contact THIS guy? And you actually know far more about the person you're contacting online than a person you see on the street.

    Sending "hi" shows no real interest in someone as a person, just (possibly) that you think he's attractive. And if that's the case, why not come out and say it? Meanwhile, he's probably showing pictures of trips he's taken and activities he pursues, a list of interests, some sense of what he's looking for...it really shouldn't be hard to introduce yourself with rudimentary sentences that communicate why you're interested in someone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 8:41 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    AutumnalStride said
    UndercoverMan said
    AutumnalStride saidI am less likely to respond seriously unless the fellah is extra cute.


    Spoken like a stereotypical gay guy.

    Who in their right mind upon being introduced to someone who says, "Hi, pleasure to meet you" would respond with: "Really? That's all you got? How unoriginal"? Yet somehow in the anonymity of the online world we have no qualms about being unnecessarily rude to each other.


    See, there's a difference between "Hi," and "Hi, pleasure to meet you," even though they are ultimately very similar in meaning. "Hi," is a greeting, usually meant to be followed up by something. It's an incomplete thought, whereas "Hi, pleasure to meet you," is including the implication that they enjoy being introduced to you. That at least gives the recipient something to work with in a response.

    Imagine, if you would, that some stranger walks up to you out of the blue and says, "Hi."
    My response is to get extremely awkward with something to the effect of, "Uh... hi," and I would try to end the conversation due to social anxiety. If the guy were cute, I may be less inclined to do so (though I would be just as awkward). So am I acting out of character because I'm online? Nope. Am I still as shallow as a wading pool? Yep. I'm just honest about it, and I've cut out most of the awkwardness. icon_razz.gif


    But when you initiate an introduction online saying "Hi, pleasure to meet you" is putting the cart before the horse. You haven't met yet. For me, a simple hi is not an incomplete thought but rather is an invitation to the other person to say hello back, to let the guy know you have manners and are possibly interested in getting to know them better.

    I live in a city where total strangers, as they are passing on the street, greet each other with a "hello" or "good morning." I would never look at them as if they were crazy and ignore their greeting. I politely say good morning back and continue on my merry way.

    Have people really lost the ability to be civil with each other?

    Ah, but a passing greeting is normal and socially acceptable. Walking up to someone, saying, "Hi," and waiting for a response is extremely strange... especially in message format because you could save both parties time by initiating the conversation properly instead of waiting for them to respond with platitudes.

    Personally, I find it frustrating when I'm leading the conversation by a dead weight who answers in short answers, and does not ask many questions. Is it unfair for me to say I find that unattractive? Whether I initiate the conversation or not, I expect the other person to hold up their end of the conversation... or at least try to (and as I said before, I'm not very good at it, but I still try).
    "Hi," by itself as a means of initial conversation is a red flag to me, unless it is soon followed up with something more sincere than a platitude.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 8:52 PM GMT
    ^If I find that I'm pulling dead weight in a conversation I excuse myself with some made up emergency - pot boiling over on stove or the like.

    But if someone online greets me with a hello or hi I respond in kind and expect them to come back with something of interest like "How hung" or "Wanna fuck" (joking); otherwise, I let the conversation die right their unless he's "extra cute" and I'm in the mood to entertain an extra cute guy with an empty head.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 15, 2014 9:02 PM GMT
    Hahah, alright, I can get behind that.