The Bestfriend Scenario


  • Aug 17, 2014 5:01 PM GMT
    So to cut to the long and short of it I've been best friends with a guy who I went school with for about the past 5/6 years and out of nowhere ( around 1 month ago ) he tells me he's gay, I then told him I was gay as well.

    I stayed at his last night and we were up till the morning talking, at about 4am when I'm half awake he asks if I would ever have first - third base with him because right then and there he told me he was horny ( great ).

    * Just as a side note I didn't do anything just because I was shocked he even asked, we've never done anything remotely like that together ( I thought he was straight before all this).

    Has anyone else been in a situation like this before, if so how did you deal with it? Otherwise has anyone got impartial advice to help me get around this?


    Thanks a lot because right now I'm cafufled! icon_exclaim.gificon_question.gif
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Aug 17, 2014 5:11 PM GMT
    What was so shocking about a horny dude who wanted to get his rocks off?

    Try not to take any of this too seriously. It is simply sex. The sun will rise in the east anyway.

    SC
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 17, 2014 5:34 PM GMT
    I would have trouble with a guy I'd been friends with, assuming he was straight, coming on to me. I've always put up walls around (presumed) straight friends that pretty much turned off sexual interest. If I had been in your shoes I would have reacted about like you. But don't worry about it. Just tell him and he'll laugh it off, too. Maybe you can shift your thinking towards a more sexual relationship and maybe you can't. I mean, you can just be friends with another gay guy. Not everyone is a sexual friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2014 8:43 PM GMT
    Don't listen to Silver. Worst advice ever. Ask Silver if he'd give a 600lbs man a help hand, mouth, cock or ass just because that 600lbs man wanted to get his rocks off? Guarantee you the answer would be hid "it's simply sex" theory would be shot.

    He's your buddy and he just came out and now all if a sudden on a whim because he's horny, he just wants to start making/banging you? That is hellah ballsy and a bit insulting and very revealing of his ignorance of the situation.

    "Pssst! I'm gay. Oh! You're gay too? I'm horny. Let's fuck". That's basically how this went. Your friend needs to learn some boundaries. Had you slept with then you would have just upgraded to "trick status". Lol.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 18, 2014 8:50 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidDon't listen to Silver. Worst advice ever. Ask Silver if he'd give a 600lbs man a help hand, mouth, cock or ass just because that 600lbs man wanted to get his rocks off? Guarantee you the answer would be hid "it's simply sex" theory would be shot.

    He's your buddy and he just came out and now all if a sudden on a whim because he's horny, he just wants to start making/banging you? That is hellah ballsy and a bit insulting and very revealing of his ignorance of the situation.

    "Pssst! I'm gay. Oh! You're gay too? I'm horny. Let's fuck". That's basically how this went. Your friend needs to learn some boundaries. Had you slept with then you would have just upgraded to "trick status". Lol.

    Don't pay attention to this. That's sick. Do you not have friends? Listen, if he's your friend, it's because he's a good guy. Deeply closeted guys kind of go nuts when they first start coming out. Maybe he really is attracted to you or maybe he's trying to sort out the friend or lover aspect of the relationship. Either way, he's still your friend. And you should be sympathetic and supportive. If you can't get physical with him because you just don't see him that way, it doesn't mean you like him less. Just make sure he knows that.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Aug 19, 2014 5:57 AM GMT
    Maybe he wants to date you; you're already friends. If there's mutual attraction, you could do a lot worse.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 19, 2014 12:50 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    Guy101 saidDon't listen to Silver. Worst advice ever. Ask Silver if he'd give a 600lbs man a help hand, mouth, cock or ass just because that 600lbs man wanted to get his rocks off? Guarantee you the answer would be hid "it's simply sex" theory would be shot.

    He's your buddy and he just came out and now all if a sudden on a whim because he's horny, he just wants to start making/banging you? That is hellah ballsy and a bit insulting and very revealing of his ignorance of the situation.

    "Pssst! I'm gay. Oh! You're gay too? I'm horny. Let's fuck". That's basically how this went. Your friend needs to learn some boundaries. Had you slept with then you would have just upgraded to "trick status". Lol.

    Don't pay attention to this. That's sick. Do you not have friends? Listen, if he's your friend, it's because he's a good guy. Deeply closeted guys kind of go nuts when they first start coming out. Maybe he really is attracted to you or maybe he's trying to sort out the friend or lover aspect of the relationship. Either way, he's still your friend. And you should be sympathetic and supportive. If you can't get physical with him because you just don't see him that way, it doesn't mean you like him less. Just make sure he knows that.

    +1 - great answer ^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 19, 2014 1:06 PM GMT
    If the attraction is mutual, you probably have the love of your life at your fingertips.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 19, 2014 1:50 PM GMT
    i had a similar situation like yours. except the guy who told me he was gay moved away. ha ha ha just my damn luck. i was totally caught off guard because i was in love with someone else. plus, unlike most guys i assume most guys are straight so even though i thought he was very good looking. oh and he has a hot body. i just figured he was straight. anyhow, we talked about it but i am not willing to move to where is living and he is not willing to move from where he had just moved. anyhow back to you. listen, it doesn't seem as if you are attracted to the guy. if you aren't attracted to the guy than just say i would rather we just stay friends. if you are attracted to the guy than dude you need to let him know and try out the goods
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 20, 2014 12:35 AM GMT
    Haha,... similar situation with me. We ended up being BFs for a while. But that also weirded out the friendship after we broke up. If you were attracted to the guy, I'm sure you would have run the bases already - LOL.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 20, 2014 2:04 AM GMT
    Oh tonight let's be lovers and tomorrow go back to being friends.

    Lyrics from one of my favorite Dave Matthews songs.

    Been there. Done that. No biggie. For either me or my buddies anyway.

    Sex can be either a very intense expression of a deep love or can be recreational and fun. If you can hook up with a total stranger how much better with a close friend. I'd rather have sex with a trusted friend rather than a total stranger.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 21, 2014 6:37 AM GMT
    One of my good gay friend and I sorta messed around on each other. He had a lot of expectations from me. I just didn't feel the same about him and can't reciprocate those feelings. We ended up drifting apart. Whatever, it's all good, go with your instincts.